REVIEW: Burger King Seasoned Sweet Potato Curly Fries

Adam 11 Comments

Burger King Seasoned Sweet Potato Curly Fries

You know what geometric phenomenon doesn’t get enough love these days? The curly object, that’s what. Think about it. Have you ever known something curly that wasn’t also straight up awesome? From Taylor Swift’s curly hair to the always dependable curl route, curly stuff has always been dependable even when it’s not in style.

You know what’s not dependable, though? Burger King’s new Seasoned Sweet Potato Curly Fries. Launched as a limited time only menu item as part of the chain’s 55th birthday bash for the iconic Whopper, the new fries give the corkscrew treatment to the sweet potato fry Burger King originally brought out this summer. They also give the soggy, burnt, and cold treatment to the sweet potato, and mark another “just ok” development in a long history of “just ok” Burger King sides.

So why did I find myself chucking them in my mouth with all the intensity of Garfield letting loose on a hot lasagna? Because sweet potato fries are like pizza, that’s why. At best, they’re the kind of ethereal, salty-sweet-crispy addiction that makes downing hundreds of calories in the time it takes to read this sentence completely acceptable. And at worst, they’re still chock-full of sweet and salty sweet potato flavor that makes downing hundreds of calories in the time it takes to read this sentence moderately acceptable.

As any serious fry eater will tell you, making the perfect fry out of sweet potatoes is hard enough without trying to throw them through a corkscrew. Often soggy or burnt, with interiors that are more creamy that the ideal fluffy, sweet potato fries may taste great, but the texture is always off. It’s the same dilemma with Arby’s Curly Fries. I love the seasoning on Arby’s Curly Fries as much as the next guy, but unlike that always dependable curl route from your tight end to get your team a much needed first down, Arby’s drops the ball half the time when it comes to perfecting the texture of their signature side.

Burger King Seasoned Sweet Potato Curly Fries Closeup 2

It’s the same story at Burger King. I only found one true, slinky-esque Curly Fry in my small order, and met a mixed bag carton of fries that ranged from overcooked and crunchy pieces of fry “burnt ends” to the aforementioned slinky, which while fun to look at, was limp and soggy. I can take limp and soggy, but the cold part was really what bothered me. If I wanted cold sweet potato taste, I could have at least bought a bag of chips, which would have at least been crunchy.

Burger King Seasoned Sweet Potato Curly Fries Closeup 1

Still, like Sbarro pizza, there’s something just intrinsically tasty about it. Perhaps it’s the mere fact that it’s a French Fry made out of sweet potatoes. Obviously they’re naturally sweet and a bit earthy, but it’s the addition of a kind of raw sugar seasoning that allows for snacking on the fries plain to be particularly addicting. This is a good thing, because it took me all of three seconds to reaffirm my belief that ketchup and sweet potatoes just don’t mix.

Burger King Seasoned Sweet Potato Curly Fries Front

If anything, I’d say the fries were a bit undersalted. Also, I’m scratching my head trying to figure out if their was some kind of cinnamon addition to the seasoning. I could have sworn I tasted the classic sweet potato sidekick on some of the fries, but a scan of the ingredient list via the BK website shows no signs. Not cool, Burger King. Sweet potatoes and cinnamon need each other.

Burger King could have done a lot worse with their Seasoned Sweet Potato Curly Fries. Like, they could have made regular curly fries, which probably just would have sucked because of a lack of Arby’s signature seasoning. Still, with more and more fast food and fast casual restaurants going orange on us, you can do a lot better if you’re really looking for that salty-sweet mix.

(Nutrition Facts – Small size – 170 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 380 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Burger King Seasoned Sweet Potato Curly Fries
Purchased Price: $1.89
Size: Small
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Addictive sweet potato taste. Not greasy. Has a salty-sweet vibe working. Probably the healthiest fry in fast food (just 170 calories for a small order)
Cons: Horribly inconsistent texture. Served cold. Seasoning is sporadic and hit or miss. Could use a little more salt. One of the few things on earth that does not go with ketchup. Pricey for a small side.

REVIEW: Peanut Butter Strawberry Luna Fiber Bar

Margaret 4 Comments

Peanut Butter Strawberry Luna FIber Bars

Finding a delicious snack bar is about as likely as digging under your doorstep and unearthing a magical Viking helmet that summons world peace, eliminates grocery carts with one bad wheel, and resurrects Ben and Jerry’s Wavy Gravy. It’d be unexpected, unlikely, and near impossible, but somewhere in all that nagging doubt rests the hope that said magical Viking helmet/delicious snack bar exists, and it is this slim probability that sustains a blind faith that you may stumble upon such an impossibility.

It is with this hope that I grabbed the Luna Peanut Butter and Strawberry Fiber Bar box as it proclaimed the “soft baked, fruit filled” contents within.

“Hmmm…” I said to myself. “Soft-baked? That sounds an awful lot like a cookie.”

Time to bring in the professional.

Peanut Butter Strawberry Luna FIber Bars Cookie Monster

So, equipped with Cookie Monster himself, I sat down to my soft-baked wrapper.

Bars fortified with vitamins and minerals have the taste reliability of the ten-day forecast. All those vitamins and minerals can either come through or, more often than not, sweep away anything reminiscent of flavor and leave you nostalgic for something that tastes better than tree bark. Not so here. One bite of these puppies and my taste buds were lit like a dance floor at a European discotheque from the 70s. Every element of this bar has its place. A thin strawberry layer for sweetness, a peanut butter cookie for roasty-toasty-saltiness, a sandy sugar coating (yes, I said sandy sugar coating) for a crackle. Oh, and are those peanut butter chips so generously sprinkled on top? Yes, yes they are.

And, indeed, this one’s for the peanut butter lovers. The peanut-butter-based cookie exterior takes up a good 83 percent of the bar according to my not-so-mathematical guess and is moister than the average Nutri-Grain. The thin strawberry filling is just enough goo without stretching into the forbidden realm of “goopy,” and the hint of salt functions like the bartender of the party, shaking up the flavor and allowing everyone to come out of their shells.

Peanut Butter Strawberry Luna FIber Bars Closeup

Look at that. Beautiful as the layered sands of the Grand Canyon only not as dry and much more tasty.

I’m fond of fitting into my pants. If you, too, are fond of fitting into your pants, these Luna bars can help you achieve/maintain that as they have a mere 120 calories, 4 grams of fat, and a whopping 7 grams of fiber. Just think of all the adventures that could arise out of the whole-grain energy you acquire: ice sculpting, pickle making, bull riding, treasure hunting, snake charming…the list goes on. Don’t be afraid. Get out there and have fun.

These may be targeted to women, but don’t let this piddly-posh marketing pull the wool over your eyes, gentlemen. I gave one to a man in my life, who claimed that all that peanut butter make these as man-friendly as an open grill and a lawn mower. Plus, they have Vitamin D and Vitamin D is downright sexy, so be a man! Eat a Luna fiber bar!

Overall, these make me want to whip out maracas and dance in my kitchen (which I may or may not have done). Having a cookie in the middle of the day is good. Having a cookie in the middle of the day with vitamins and minerals is even better. It is with this in mind that the C-monster himself hath blessed these bars with incantations of magical proportions. I came into this anticipating a vitamin-flavored, semi-stale fruit bar and I got a soft-baked rectangle of a portable joy.

Thank you, Luna, for completely defying my expectations.

Peanut Butter Strawberry Luna FIber Bars Cookie Monster 2

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 120 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 95 milligrams of potassium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 7 gram of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Peanut Butter Strawberry Luna Fiber Bar
Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: 6 bars
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Cookie-like. Peanut butter chips. Salty-sweet. Whole grains. Magical Viking helmets. Fitting into your pants. Pickle making. Vitamin D is sexy.
Cons: Over the everyday snack-bar-budget margin. Things that taste like tree bark. Grocery carts with one bad wheel. European discotheques from the 70s. The death of Ben and Jerry’s Wavy Gravy.

NEWS: ‘Tis the Season for Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo Cookies

Marvo 7 Comments

Gingerbread Oreo

I’m not going to say much about these Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo cookies. I’m just going to let you stare at the photo above, sent in by TIB reader Kenneth, and let the excitement build up in you.

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Have you gotten the excitement out of your system? Well, now that you’ve calmed down, I should let you know that according TIB reader, @KingRhino on Twitter, the cookies are a Walmart exclusive:

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 10/25/2012

Marvo 4 Comments

Here are some new products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. We may or may not review them, but we’d like to let you know what new items are popping up. We’ll also occasionally throw in an unusual product.

Stride Fearless Fruit

This Stride Fearless Fruit packaging looks like it would be great as a drunken mistake from a tattoo parlor. (Spotted at a candy booth at a food show)

Gorton's Tilapia Skillet Crisp

Oh, Gorton’s! Is there any fish you won’t coat with breading, cook, quick freeze, and then sell in a yellow box? (Spotted at Target)

Skippy 1/3 Less Sodium Sugar Natural Creamy Peanut Butter

Less sodium and sugar? Those are the things that make peanut butter awesome. I say more sodium and sugar! And, since it’s a “peanut butter spread,” I say more peanuts! (Spotted at Target)

Wrigley's 5 Beta Gum

I’ve played with enough buggy computer software to know I should be cautious about anything labeled “beta.” I wonder if it tastes weird or might delete my entire iTunes library. (Spotted at Target)

Ensure Clinical Strenght

I’ve seen “clinical strength” antiperspirants and dandruff shampoos, which I hear do great jobs at keeping your armpits dry and your black shirts flake-free, but I did a double take when I saw this Clinical Strength Ensure. Although, I have to admit, I did the double take because of the price for one bottle and not the fact that it’s a clinical strength Ensure. Holy crap! Ten dollars for one bottle! Oh wait, it’s a 4-pack for ten dollars…I need some clinical strength contact lenses. (Spotted at Target)

If you’re out shopping and see a new product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

PRIZE DRAWING: Because We Want To Make Your Jaw Hurt

Marvo 74 Comments

Hey Impulsive Buy readers! We just got a gaggle of Stride iD Gum packs from the folks at Stride Gum. We’ve got four sets of all three flavors — Berry Melon, Peppermint, and Spearmint.

I could keep them for myself, chew them all, save every used piece to form a huge wad of gum, and then shape the chewed gum into whatever me and the ghost of Patrick Swayze come up with. Or we could give away the four sets to lucky Impulsive Buy readers.

Yeah, we’ll do that.

To enter The Impulsive Buy’s Stride iD prize drawing, leave a comment with THIS post. You can say whatever you want in your comment, but it MUST INCLUDE one of the following words: pepper, spear, berry, melon, or mint.

Please don’t forget to fill out the email field because we’ll be emailing the randomly selected winners for their mailing addresses. The Impulsive Buy will stop accepting entries on Wednesday, October 31, 2012 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. Only one comment allowed per person, and it’s open to everyone who’s at least 18 years old.

For those of you who have a Twitter account, you can get an additional entry by tweeting the following by Wednesday, October 31, 2012 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time:

Hey @theimpulsivebuy! I’m McLovin, the 25-year-old Hawaiian organ donor! #idgum #fakeidgum

So just copy, paste, and tweet. Only one tweet per Twitter account.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you anything about hot llamas looking for companionship in your area. Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you photos of random men walking out of late night massage parlors. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or tired jaws.