REVIEW: Starbucks Refreshers (Cool Lime and Very Berry Hibiscus)

Starbucks Refreshers (Cool Lime and Very Berry Hibiscus)

Sometimes I get tired. Usually it’s a couple hours after lunch when I swiftly enter that mid-afternoon slump that brings my forehead perilously close to smashing into my keyboard. While it would be great to receive daily energy injections at the 3:00 hour, I don’t think most corporate health insurance policies include the administration of intravenous jump juice.

Most people go for a coffee run when they feel sluggish. However, unlike my overly-caffeinated colleagues, I don’t drink coffee. So what’s a java-free girl to do? Simple. Be only slightly unconventional and ingest the latest branded “naturally” caffeinated beverage from one of our nation’s largest peddlers of liquid vim and vigor.

Starbucks has introduced their new Starbucks Refreshers – fruity iced drinks laced with the “natural energy” of Green Coffee Extract (capitalization is theirs) from unroasted Arabica coffee beans. There’s no real flavor to speak of from this Green Coffee Extract, but as I quickly discovered, it packs a punch. After sampling these Refreshers, I definitely felt a bit perkier… That is to say, I was jauntily strolling through the office hallways, smiling broadly and cheerfully vocalizing like the Trololo guy. I was curious about this wonderful ingredient that had put some pep in my step, so I read up on Green Coffee Extract. Interestingly enough, studies have shown that the extract from unroasted coffee beans can inhibit fat absorption in lab mice. So if I transform into a lab mouse while drinking a Starbucks Refresher, I can eat all the cheese I want! Yaaahhhhhh yaya-yaaaaaahhhh…!

There are two flavors of handcrafted beverages available in Starbucks cafes: Cool Lime and Very Berry Hibiscus.

According to the Starbucks website, Cool Lime is “real fruit juice, mint and a lime slice shaken with Green Coffee Extract for a boost of natural energy, served over ice.” The taste of lime was dominant, but I couldn’t taste the mint. The Cool Lime Refresher did otherwise live up to its name, for it was quite refreshing. And cool. In fact, this is what a summer drink should be. Light and citrus-y, but not too sweet. I don’t know if one lime slice is supposed to be the standard because I received two slices the first time I ordered it, but the limes were a great addition to the overall flavor profile. The Cool Lime Refresher also didn’t taste artificial like some other mixed fruit drinks tend to taste, and I think that the use of real fruit helped.

On the other hand, Starbucks claims that the Very Berry Hibiscus Refresher is “handcrafted with whole blackberries” and contains a “hint of hibiscus.” I couldn’t really see any whole blackberries in my drink, just crushed ones. I don’t know if it’s because they were muddled at the bottom of the cup with the Green Coffee Extract or what, but it clearly states that they should be whole. By “whole blackberries,” they must mean “once whole blackberries.” And by “hint of hibiscus,” they must mean “unheeded suggestion of hibiscus” because I couldn’t taste any hibiscus. Maybe I don’t know what hibiscus really tastes like… I mean, what does a flower with natural diuretic properties taste like? Mild panic in 20 minutes when you can’t find the bathroom? Anyway, this Very Berry Hibiscus drink wasn’t Very Anything. More like Sorta-Maybe Berry Hibiscus.

Similar to the Cool Lime Refresher, the Starbucks website claims the Very Berry Refresher is made with “real fruit juice and whole blackberries shaken with Green Coffee Extract for a boost of natural energy, served over ice.” The fruit juice tasted a little diluted, despite its bold appearance, and even though it was served chilled, it didn’t really seem like a summer drink to me. For a Refresher, it was not very refreshing.

Of the two new Starbucks Refreshers, you can probably tell by what I’ve written here (and by looking at the photo taken from a later trip) which one I liked best. The Cool Lime Refresher is the lightweight, summery drink with the appropriate flavor and appearance you’d most appreciate on a hot summer day. The Very Berry Hibiscus tries too hard to fit in with the summer vibe and instead comes off as the sort of drink you’d have to order back in the house because it’s not going anywhere dressed like that.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 fluid ounces – Cool Lime – 40 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 10 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 0.9% Vitamin C, and 45 milligrams of caffeine. Very Berry Hibiscus – 60 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 0.9% Vitamin C, and 45 milligrams of caffeine.)

Item: Starbucks Refreshers (Cool Lime and Very Berry Hibiscus)
Purchased Price: $2.95
Size: 12 oz
Purchased at: Starbucks
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Cool Lime)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Very Berry Hibiscus)
Pros: Cool Lime Refresher lives up to its name. Green Coffee Extract inhibits fat absorption in lab mice. Real lime slices. Eduard Khil-like happiness and mirth.
Cons: Very Berry Hibiscus isn’t Very Anything. The 3:00 Slump. Hibiscus is a natural diuretic. Couldn’t taste the Cool Lime Refresher’s mint flavor.

NEWS: Krispy Kreme Releases Unimaginative County Fair Fare Flavored Doughnuts

Really, Krispy Kreme?

Caramel apple and cotton candy flavored doughnuts? Is that the best Krispy Kreme can come up with to represent the great county fairs across our great nation? No one goes to county fairs for caramel apples and cotton candy.

Today, county fairs are all about (cue heavy metal guitar riffs) deep fried candy, cookies, vegetables, sandwiches, breakfast cereals, and processed meats. Yeow! (end heavy metal guitar riffs)

Krispy Kreme’s Caramel Apple Cake Doughnut is a glazed, apple-flavored cake doughnut that’s topped with caramel icing. The Cotton Candy Doughnut is an Original Glazed doughnut dipped in blue cotton candy sugar.

Both will be available at participating Krispy Kreme locations from August 20-September 30.

NEWS: McDonald’s Testing Chicken McWraps In Chicago

McDonald's

Oh, you lucky bastards in Chicago.

Some of you Chicagoans get to enjoy McDonald’s larger-than-a-Snack-Wrap McWraps while they’re testing it in the region and the rest of us in the country have to settle for tiny Snack Wraps that make our hands look huge.

McWraps are new to the United States, but they’ve been available for over a year in many other countries, like Brazil, Hungary, Switzerland, El Salvador, and other countries with their McWrap commercials on YouTube.

Participating locations in Chicago are offering three McWrap varieties: Chicken & Bacon, Sweet Chili Chicken, and Chicken & Ranch. Like their smaller brethren, all three are available with either grilled or crispy chicken. The tortilla wraps are priced at $3.99 each.

Grub Grade posted a quick look at the Chicken & Bacon McWrap.

Image via flickr user Messercn / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Nabisco Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls

Nabisco Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls

S’MORES!

S’MORES!

HOW COULD THESE NEW HONEY MAID GRAHAMFULS NOT HAVE A S’MORES VARIETY? GOOD GRIEF!

WHO LEFT THE S’MORES OUT? WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO?

I WANT THE HONEY MAID BEE TO STING THE NABISCO EXECUTIVE WHO LEFT OUT S’MORES! AND IF THAT NABISCO EXECUTIVE IS ALLERGIC TO BEE STINGS, THEN SKIP THE BEE STING! INSTEAD OF S’MORES, WE’RE STUCK WITH PEANUT BUTTER, PEANUT BUTTER & CHOCOLATE, AND BANANA VANILLA CREME!

S’MORES!

I’M SORRY…I’m sorry. As you can see by my excessive use of caps and exclamations points, and a Baha Men reference, I’m upset about the varieties Nabisco has chosen for their new Honey Maid Grahamfuls line. I really thought Nabisco would be SMART ENOUGH…

Okay…calm down. Breathe.

I really thought, since they’re using graham crackers, they would have a s’mores flavor. Yes, it’s the obvious choice, but it’s also the yummiest choice. Besides, Nabisco has proven with these horrible peanut butter and chocolate-filled Ritz Crackerfuls that they aren’t good with the PB&C Flavor Factory. Since there’s no s’mores flavor and the other two Grahamful flavors would probably disappoint, I was left with the Banana Vanilla Crème flavor, which ended up not being a bad thing.

Each individually wrapped Grahamful is 4.5 inches long and 1.25 inches wide, and look like they’re ribbed for no one’s pleasure. They’re made with 100 percent whole grain, contain no high fructose corn syrup, have no artificial flavors, and they are quite possibly the second greatest graham cracker snack behind s’mores.

Nabisco Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls Closeup

Yup, you read right. Suck it, cheesecakes with graham cracker crusts and graham Goldfish!

So what makes these Honey Maid Grahamfuls so palatable? Two words: banana powder. I know, it totally sounds like the street name for cocaine that’s grown in the same fields as bananas in Columbia, but it’s the natural flavoring that gives the crème filling its enjoyable mild banana flavor, which complements the crème’s vanilla flavor well. The off-white colored crème wasn’t nearly as sweet as the bright white colored crème in the middle of an Oreo cookie, but that’s a good thing because it didn’t overwhelm the two graham crackers. As for the two graham crackers that make up the bread of this cracker sandwich, they were airier than regular Honey Maid Graham Crackers, but had the same honey and sugar sweetened flavor that we all love and enjoy.

Honey Maid’s Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls were extremely tasty. Although, perhaps I find them delicious because I’m more monkey than human since the amount of body hair I have isn’t much different than a monkey’s.

Now that Nabisco has introduced us to Ritz Crackerfuls and Honey Maid Grahamfuls, I really hope the future brings Premium Saltinefuls, individually wrapped filled crackers with soup-flavored fillings.

And, I hope the future also brings THOSE DAMN HONEY MAID S’MORES GRAHAMFULS!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack – 110 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 10% calcium, and 4% iron.)

Other Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls reviews:
Junk Food Guy

Item: Nabisco Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8 pack
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: A wonderful snack with a pleasant banana/vanilla/graham cracker flavor. Made with 100 percent whole grain. No artificial flavors. Better than Ritz Crackerfuls.
Cons: Sticking one-hit wonder music references in this review. No damn s’mores flavor. Provides only 10 percent daily value of calcium. Getting stung by the Honey Maid Bee.

NEWS: Mountain Dew Dewing a Malt-Flavored Soda Called Johnson City Gold

Update: Click here to read our Mountain Dew Johnson City Gold review

Johnson City Gold is the latest beverage from Mountain Dew, but it’s not like the Mountain Dew flavors we’re all used to. It’s malt-flavored. But before you alcoholics get excited, it’s also non-alcoholic.

So what’s up with Johnson City in its name? Mountain Dew got its start Johnson City, Tennessee. So sorry, Johnson City, Kansas; Johnson City, New York; Johnson City, Oregon; and Johnson City, Texas, it’s not named after any of you.

The “first batch” of Johnson City Gold will be available later this month for a limited time in select Kroger stores across the Midwest, and in 7-Eleven stores in the test markets of Denver, Colorado and Charlotte, North Carolina starting September 1, 2012. The “second batch” will be available everyone in the U.S., but not until 2013. Although, before the second batch is shipped, you’ll probably find entrepreneurial souls on eBay who would be willing to ship a can to anywhere else in the U.S. for an inflated price.

Before the second batch is released, you can re-name the product and re-design its packaging to best represent one of six regions in the U.S. – South, Southwest, Northwest, Northeast, Great Plains and Great Lakes. Yup, just those regions, so Dew fans in Hawaii and Alaska can suck it!

Oh wait, I’m a Dew fan in Hawaii.

From August 9-16, fans are encouraged to suggest a name that would best represent a malt-flavored DEW tailor-made for their region of the country. One product name, per region, per day, can be submitted, names will be voted on by fans, and finalists will win custom-made gear featuring their suggested product name. From September 19 – October 10, artists can upload label designs that represent the fan favorite product names. Winners will each be awarded a digital camera, with a chance to see their design commercialized in 2013. Go to the Your Malt Dew website to enter your suggestions.

If you’re one of the lucky folks to get your hands on Johnson City Gold, let us know what you think of it in the comments below.