NEWS: Jack in the Box’s Java Cookie Shake Is Significantly Less Exciting Than Jack’s Bacon Shake

Marvo 2 Comments

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It must suck being the new Jack in the Box Java Cookie Shake because it has to follow Jack’s Kinda-Sounds-Like-A-Joke-But-Wasn’t Bacon Shake.

I guess it would be hard topping or equalling a bacon milkshake, but I wish Jack in the Box at least tried because it doesn’t seem like they did with their Java Cookie Shake, which is basically their regular Oreo shake with a shot of coffee flavored syrup.

A regular 16-ounce Java Cookie Shake has 915 calories, 401 calories from fat, 45 grams of fat, 30 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 127 milligrams of cholesterol, 386 milligrams of sodium, 114 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 92 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

Oh, and for shits and giggles…and a few gasps, here’s the nutrition info for a 24-ounce Java Cookie Shake: 1,294 calories, 552 calories from fat, 61 grams of fat, 39 grams of saturated fat, 3 grams of trans fat, 184 milligrams of cholesterol, 560 milligrams of sodium, 164 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 132 grams of sugar, and 18 grams of protein.

The Jack in the Box Java Cookie Shake is available now at participating Jack in the Box restaurants. Oh, Indianapolis and San Antonio locations aren’t participating.

If you happen to try it, let us know what you think in the comments.

NEWS: Limited Edition Ice Cream Oreo Rainbow Shure, Bert! Hits Store Shelves

Marvo 26 Comments

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Update: Click here to read our Limited Edition Ice Cream Oreo Rainbow Shure, Bert! review

A few weeks ago, TIB Twitter follower KingRhino let us know about a new raspberry sherbet Oreo variety, but didn’t tell us the name of the product. But thanks to TIB Twitter follower @NickL3git, who snapped the photo above at a Walmart Super Center, we now know it’s called, Limited Edition Ice Cream Oreo Rainbow Shure, Bert!

The cookie that’s not named after a wonderful microphone company and Ernie’s uni-browed roommate, combines Golden Oreo cookies with a rainbow raspberry and lime creme.

KingRhino also told us Limited Edition Creamsicle Oreo cookies are coming back. They were a Walmart-exclusive when they first came out, but we’re not sure if that’s the case this time around.

If you happen to get your hands on Limited Edition Ice Cream Oreo Rainbow Shure, Bert!, let us know what you think of them in the comments below.

Photo courtesy of @NickL3git.

NEWS: McDonald’s Cherry Berry Chiller Is Pretty Much a Cherry Berry Slushie

Marvo 22 Comments

Update: Click here to read our McDonald’s Cherry Berry Chiller review

According to an AP report, in the coming weeks, McDonald’s is set to release nationwide their Cherry Berry Chiller. The cherry and raspberry-flavored beverage combines 100 percent fruit juice with ice, which is blended to create a slushie.

Oh, I feel sorry for the McDonald’s blenders. Before, it was just their smoothies and Frappé, but then they added their frozen lemonade, and now this Cherry Berry Chiller.

According to the internets, the Cherry Berry Chiller has been tested in limited markets since last year. McDonald’s already has a page set up for it on their website. (WARNING: Slightly annoying repetitive booty shaking music.)

If you’ve given the Cherry Berry Chiller a try, let us know what you think of it in the comments below.

REVIEW: G.H. Cretors Popped Corn (Kettle Corn and Chicago Mix)

Steve 10 Comments

GH Cretors Kettle Corn and Chicago Mix

Bounce. The Air Up There. In Love and War. Blue Streak. What do all of these films have in common? There were all hideously terrible movies that I saw in a movie theater, and they all were made much, much more tolerable with the addition of popcorn.

I love popcorn. Love it. So salty and buttery. I’ll pop it at home in the microwave. I’ll eat prepackaged bags of it. And I’ll lick my fingers raw to get those last delicious remnants of that glorious yellow syrup provided by movie theaters everywhere. The self-serve butter station at movie theaters was the greatest thing to happen to movies since movie. There’s nothing better than sitting down to the latest Bret Ratner abomination with a bucket of Cherry Coke and what Stephen King refers to as a “heavy bag.” Popcorn so loaded with butter it might as well be classified as a soup.

One area of popcornery that I am constantly neglectful of is kettle corn. I like kettle corn, but I never eat it. I don’t know why. It has just never been able to find a permanent spot in my mental filofax of snack options.

Really. I only ever encounter the stuff at flea markets and fairs, and let’s be honest, kettle corn can’t really compete with corn dogs and deep fried Oreos. It just can’t.

This week, I had a few bags sent to me by G.H. Cretors, and as my deep fryer is currently on the fritz, I was able to give the popcorn my full attention.

G.H. Cretors has a history in popcorn dating back to 1885, and currently has five popcorn products up for consumption: Caramel Corn, Kettle Corn, Cheese Corn, Caramel Nut Crunch, and Chicago Mix (a combination of Cheese and Caramel corns). Their products are all natural, non-GMO, and Kosher, if you care about those things.

I got to sample some Kettle Corn and some of the Chicago Mix.

GH Cretors Kettle Corn Closeup

The Kettle Corn was great. The sweetness level is light and in excellent balance with the sea salt, and the sugary shellac provides a pleasant crispness. If you like kettle corn, this is it. I had to wrestle the bag away from my wife. She was going at it full DeLuise.

As a man of science, I took to the bag of Chicago Mix a little more methodically. First, I separated the Cheese from the Caramel and sampled them individually.

GH Cretors Chicago Mix Cheese Closeup

The cheese corn was a solid effort, but I didn’t find it much different than any other cheese powder-coated popcorn product. It was cheesy and salty. What else would it be?

GH Cretors Chicago Mix Caramel Closeup

The caramel popcorn was also good on its own. The caramel coating was indeed nicely caramel-y. It was appropriately sweet and offered a great crunch, though nothing teeth-jarring. But again pretty similar to most caramel corns.

GH Cretors Chicago Mix Closeup

Trying them in equal parts together didn’t really do it for me. It ended up being a nebulous mash of indistinct flavors, mostly dominated by the caramel. That seems scientifically predictable as the caramel coating is denser than the cheese coating. Right? Seems reasonable. Given a choice, I’d just buy the flavors individually.

Obviously G.H. Cretors earns bonus points for being all natural and not using mutant corn. No one wants to stare at a list of impossible to pronounce ingredients when they are about to sit down for a delightful home cinema experience. I don’t think the Chicago Mix will take away all of the pain of a Trapped in Paradise or a Penelope Cruz, but the Kettle Corn will definitely get you through any scene with Salma Hayak.

(Editor’s Note/Disclaimer: We received these G.H. Cretors Popped Corn samples for free from the PR company that represents this popcorn maker.)

(Nutrition Facts – 1 1/4 cups (28g) – Kettle Korn – 130 calories, 7 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Chicago Mix – 140 calories, 8 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 10 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other G.H. Cretors Popped Corn reviews:
Read Food Traveler
Buttermilk Press

Item: G.H. Cretors Popped Corn (Kettle Corn and Chicago Mix)

Price: FREE

Size: 7 oz. (Kettle Corn)

Size: 6.5 oz. (Chicago Mix)

Purchased at: Received for free from G.H. Cretors

Rating: 8 out of 10 (Kettle Corn)

Rating: 7 out of 10 (Chicago Mix)

Pros: All natural. Non-GMO. Kosher. Great salty/sweet balance in Kettle Corn. Available outside of dirt malls. Kevin Bacon playing basketball with African tribes. Science. Classy old timey package design.

Cons: Unnecessary flavor mixing in Chicago Mix. Martin Lawrence. Salma Hayek.

REVIEW: Food Should Taste Good Hemp Tortilla Chips

Marvo 3 Comments

Food Should Taste Good Hemp Tortilla Chips

I just skimmed the Wikipedia entry about hemp and now I feel bad about eating these Food Should Taste Good Hemp Tortilla Chips.

The hemp seeds used to make these chips could’ve been used to grow more hemp plants, which in turn could’ve been used to make hemp clothing someone could’ve worn, hempcrete to build someone’s home, or hemp plastic to be used in a car.

Those hemp seeds I ate could’ve been turned into something significant and long lasting. Instead, their short, meaningless existence consisted of me eating them and then pooping them out.

From now on, I’m gonna stick to eating potato chips because what other uses for potatoes has society come up with? Powering some kid’s lame science fair project? Ammunition for a spud gun? Yeah, I don’t feel so bad about eating potato chips.

The Food Should Taste Good Hemp Tortilla Chips are made using only five ingredients: organic blue corn, high oleic sunflower and/or safflower oil, hemp seeds, corn bran, and sea salt. If you examine the chips, you can see the hemp seeds in them. The chips are a color that I like to call plastic army men green (although at some angles they looks brown) and they’re also a list of things that make it sound like the Holy Grail for Whole Foods shoppers. They’re certified vegan, certified gluten free, MSG free, not made from genetically modified ingredients, all natural, and they don’t contain artificial colors, flavors or preservatives.

I should note that I’ve never tasted hemp seeds before. Sure, I’ve been the driver of a car whose other passenger were puff-puff-passing their way through some weak ass weed, but I don’t know if second-hand weed smoke could be considered consumption of a cannabis plant. But, thankfully, the Google algorithm helped me learn hemp seeds have a nutty flavor.

Food Should Taste Good Hemp Tortilla Chips Closeup

The Food Should Taste Good Hemp Tortilla Chips are the size of Doritos and are a little thicker than Tostitos. At first, the hemp tortilla chips taste like normal tortilla chips, although a little bit better than Tostitos, but the hemp seed’s nuttiness eventually shows itself, although the level of nuttiness is more along the lines of a nip slip than full-frontal nudity. So if you gave these to an unsuspecting person they will probably think these are just some weird colored, but regular tasting tortilla chips.

While skimming through the Wikipedia entry about hemp, I also learned it’s a good source of omega-3 fatty acids and protein. The Food Should Taste Good Hemp Tortilla Chip’s nutrition facts say a serving of these chips provide 3 grams of protein, but the amount of omega-3 fatty acids isn’t listed anywhere. There isn’t even a ribbon or banner on the front of the packaging that says it’s a good or excellent source of omega-3 like there are on packages of salmon and some granola bars.

Room on the front of the package isn’t a problem. Look at all that white space.

I hope I’m getting some omega-3s from these Food Should Taste Good Hemp Tortilla Chips, because if I’m not getting any, I’m going to feel worse about eating them, even though they are some tasty chips. I already feel like I wasted the hemp seeds that went through my digestive system. They could’ve been used to create a hemp biofuel to fuel a hemp plastic car being driven by a person wearing hemp clothing to his or her house made from hempcrete.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/about 12 chips – 140 calories, 70 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Food Should Taste Good Hemp Tortilla Chips
Price: $3.69
Size: 5.5 ounces
Purchased at: Whole Foods
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty. Certified vegan, certified gluten free, no MSG, not made from genetically modified ingredients, all natural, and they don’t contain artificial colors, flavors or preservatives. It’s frickin’ made with hemp. All the uses for hemp. Low sodium.
Cons: Needs to come in a bigger bag. Hemp flavor could’ve been stronger. Not sure if it provides omega-3. The hemp seeds I ate could’ve been used for better purposes.