REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich

Drew 17 Comments

Dunkin' Donuts Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich

Is it me, or is Dunkin’ Donuts just constantly trying out new stuff?  I’ve been with TIB for a year and a half, and I swear they’ve rolled out at least a half dozen different products within that time.  And that’s just hot foods; I’m not even counting new donuts or drinks.  Far be it from me to tell a massive multinational conglomerate how to run their business, but is that really productive?  How is there even time to analyze market data on how a product is being received before it’s gone and replaced by something new?

But ultimately, that’s not what we’re here to answer; you’re wondering whether DD’s latest offering, the Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich, is worth a try.  Or you’re bored at work and they’ve disabled Minesweeper on your computer.  Either way, let’s get down to business.  The Steak & Egg sandwich is being marketed as a very masculine sandwich.  It drinks whiskey straight from the bottle.  It has only cried twice in its life.  (Its father’s funeral and at the end of Old Yeller.)  And if there’s truth in advertising, it will help you “Show Your Morning Who’s Boss. ” This is a sandwich for men, manly men, the kind who build skyscrapers, tame wild animals, and “wear the big boss pants.”  Stay away, ladies — you couldn’t handle this sandwich.  Why, one bite would send you scurrying back home to your momma.  Angus doesn’t need you and it doesn’t want you.

Hopefully that’s also true of the men who’ll be consuming it, since the Angus Steak & Egg comes standard on an onion bagel, meaning you won’t be locking lips with anyone after eating it.  That’s okay, real men don’t have time for kissing anyway.  Since I’m a writer and thus not particularly manly, I got mine on a plain bagel, but be aware you have to ask for that — onion is the default, which could be a nasty surprise if you’re not expecting it.  On a plain bagel, it smells good, though not substantially different from most breakfast sandwiches; in other words, the cheese and egg contribute more to the aroma than the steak does.

Dunkin' Donuts Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich Closeup

Appearance-wise, it looks… above average.  The cheese, steak, and egg are all clearly visible within the sandwich from almost any angle, and when you remove the top you see they didn’t skimp on any of the components.  As the picture illustrates, my bagel got burnt, but hopefully that was user error specific to my server instead of just the way they’re made.  On the other hand, the cheese was quite melted, which is great.  Can’t complain about the size of the Angus patty, though I’ll offer that it looks more like a standard fast food hamburger than anything you’d actually think of when hearing the word “steak.”

As for the taste, it’s quite good, assuming you’re able to manage your expectations.  If you’re genuinely expecting the equivalent of a nice porterhouse or New York Strip steak on your mass-produced breakfast sandwich, well, I guess you’re out of luck.  (Also, dumb.)  It tastes a bit like adding eggs to a cheesesteak, and I don’t mean that as a criticism.  I found that the combo of the cheese, egg, and steak melded well together in my mouth, warm and savory with reasonable juiciness.  The bagel was decent, crisp enough but, again, relatively burnt.  Taken as a whole, the sandwich was both filling and tasty.

Not nearly as impressed was I by tearing off a small piece of just the steak.  It’s not bad, but fair or not, the word “Angus” conjures up a certain beef pedigree that can be hard to live up to.  This is like Angus’s great-grandson, the one who gets a cushy executive job at the family business and is told to just show up most days and try not to knock up his secretary.  And like a 4th generation executive, it seems much more impressive when bolstered up by the hard work of its undervalued support staff, eggs and cheese.  Together they make a good team and can actually capitalize on the steak’s strengths while effectively masking its limitations.  For that reason, I’d call the Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich a relative success and encourage you to try one sometime in the next two weeks, before it gets replaced by the Lobster Bisque Croissant or whatever.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 sandwich – 630 calories, 230 calories from fat, 26 grams of total fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 255 milligrams of cholesterol, 1390 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 4 grams of sugars, and 34 grams of protein)

Other Dunkin’ Donuts Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich reviews:
Fast Food Geek
Grub Grade

Item: Dunkin’ Donuts Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich
Price: $3.99
Size: 1 sandwich
Purchased at: Dunkin’ Donuts
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Always something new to try.  Good smell.  Cheese is melted nicely.  A sandwich that’ll put hair on your chest.  Doesn’t skimp on the egg or steak patty.  Won’t stick around long enough to get boring.  Cheese and egg meld nicely with the steak for a savory taste.
Cons: Onion bagels.  Burnt.  Women who come within 10 feet of this sandwich often become spontaneously pregnant.  85%(!) of your recommended daily intake of cholesterol, and 58% of the sodium.  The steak on its own is uninspired.

NEWS: Mentos UP2U Gum GETS3NU Flavors

Marvo

Mentos UP2U Gum (Sweet Mint/Bubble Fresh and Daylight Mint/Mintnight Mint) Pieces

Last year, Mentos introduced their UP2U line that came in four flavors, which we reviewed (here and here).

Wait. Actually, that’s incorrect.

There were four different packs and each one had two flavors, so there were really eight flavors. Well, there are now 14 flavors because Mentos has recently release three new UP2U varieties:

Chillax Mint and Energy Strike

Superfruit Smasher and Tropical Mixer

Striped Red Strawberry and Starmint

The Gum Connoisseur’s Tumblr has reviews for Chillax Mint and Energy Strike and Superfruit Smasher and Tropical Mixer.

Here are some quick notes about the new varieties: The Energy Strike flavor does contain caffeine; Superfruit Smasher includes pomegranate, yuzu, cranberry and other fruity flavors; and Striped Red Strawberry and Starmint comes in patriotic packaging that makes me want to stand up, put my hand on my heart, and recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

NEWS: Red Bull Total Zero Could Be Your Next Energy Drink Hero

Marvo 2 Comments

Red Bull Car

Update: Click here to read our Red Bull Total Zero review

In April, Red Bull will release nationwide a zero calorie, zero carbohydrate, and zero sugar energy drink called, Red Bull Total Zero. Personally, the only Red Bull products I would call total zeroes are Red Bull Cola and Red Bull Energy Shot, because they failed commercially and were discontinued.

In order to be calorie, carbohydrate, and sugar free, Red Bull Total Zero is sweetened with aspartame, sucralose, and acesulfame K. To help you get your wings, the energy drink contains B vitamins, caffeine, and taurine.

Red Bull Total Zero will come in the usual Red Bull 8.4 ounce can, but it will also be available in 12 and 16 ounce cans. The 8.4 ounce size will have a suggested retail price of $2.19, the 12 ounce size will be priced at $2.99, and the 16 ounce can will cost $3.79.

The nutrition facts for a can of Red Bull Total Zero aren’t all zeroes. Along with the 0 calories, 0 grams of carbohydrates, and 0 grams of sugar, it also has 0 grams of fat, but it has 60 milligrams of sodium, less than 1 gram of protein, 100% niacin, 80% vitamin B12, 250% vitamin B6, and 50% pantothenic acid.

Source: Drinkfolio

Image via flickr user sugagaga / CC BY ND 2.0

REVIEW: Taco Bell Doritos Locos Taco

Jeff 27 Comments

Taco Bell Doritos Locos Taco

I imagine the executives in the Taco Bell wing of Yum! Brands sitting in their secret think tank. The foreboding hidden base is heavily fortified by seven layers of sour cream, guacamole, seasoned rice, beans, cheese, and tomatoes. Security guards armed with squirt bottles filled with “Fire” sauce ready to squeeze into the face of any unwelcome visitors.

Preening and fretting in their dark tailored suits, the executives were going over the 3rd quarter sales while trying to figure out the next big thing. “We need something that will put us at the Gorditop!” shouted Mr. CEO. “We need the public to get Chalupexcited again!!”

“I sure love Doritos,” said Executive One as he mowed in such sloppy fashion, leaving orange fingerprints on the papers he shuffled. Narrowing his eyes, Executive Three had an idea. She scribbled her notes in a frantic manner as everyone at the long conference table stared at her.

While clearing her throat, she asked, “What if we joined with Frito-Lay and asked them to make a big ass Doritos taco shell?” The silence was uncomfortable as everyone’s eyes now laid on Mr. CEO. More awkward silence and Executive Three began to wonder if the position at Taco Viva was still available.

“Get me Frito-Lay!” Mr. CEO gruffly said into the intercom. “…And give Executive Three the keycard to the grand executive bathroom with the chaise lounge! Begin phase one of our Meximeltamaster plan!” (Cue brooding evil music)

That is how I imagine the origins of the Doritos Locos Tacos began, but I am sure that it is much more mundane. I love Taco Bell. I love Doritos. Not since the team up of Marvel and DC comics in the late 90’s where they gave birth to joint character, “Access”, have I been looking forward to a shared creation.

Taco Bell and Frito-Lay should be commended. I am sure amongst the egos, logistics, and red tape; both companies eloquently persevered through all of it. And unlike the maligned superhero “Access”, I suspect that this product will prove to be popular with the consumers out there. I mean it’s a freaking taco with a nacho cheese Doritos shell. Gluttony be damned, this thing is tasty to put it directly.

Now we all know that Taco Bell has recently encountered controversy whether the beef is real. Coupled with the “pink slime” stories making the rounds at news outlets, some of you may still be put off by the idea. Look it’s Taco Bell, it’s the handjobs of food. We’re not talking about a meal worthy of Michelin stars or a dissertation of what the “chef” thought about when creating this. It’s Taco Bell and if you don’t like at least one item from the dependable Bell, you have no soul.

Taco Bell Doritos Locos Taco Box

Excited I rode my scooter up to the drive-thru and bought the handy Doritos Locos Tacos big box. Each kit contains a burrito supreme, normal taco and a Doritos Locos taco (sauce packets not included so get out of your introverted shell and ask). By the way, is it me or don’t you love the way they are simplifying things and just handing you a box?

Taco Bell Doritos Locos Taco Inside Box

Anyhoolies, the Doritos Locos Taco is basically a taco supreme dressed up in a giant Doritos chip. It’s akin to exchanging your shorts and Stereolab t-shirt for a pair of Banana Republic boot cut jeans and a black blazer. So if you do not like Taco Bell or their taco (you soulless bastard) then this item is not going to persuade you to turn.

Taco Bell Doritos Locos Taco Sleeve

The wrapping of the taco is decorated with bold typeface proclaiming things such as “Awesome!” and “Doritos!” It put a tingle in my reconstructed metal reinforced spine. Tossing the paper, I am greeted by the smells of alpha male beefiness that is tempered by the crisp scent of lettuce. My urge to ravish this taco was uncontrollable but first I had to remove the additional wrap that said “Taco Bell on the inside. Doritos on the outside.” Yes, voice in my head, I will do your bidding.

The richness of the beef in the taco sauce balanced extremely well with the generous amount of crunchy shreds of lettuce. The tomato bits were slightly sweet and added a necessary acidic touch. Additionally the cold milky sour cream is pleasant with the warm taco meat. I don’t know if it is real sour cream or something made in the back with powder, Taco Bell’s sour cream is aces. If I could buy the sour cream, I would and brush my teeth with it.

The cheddar cheese scattered in the taco didn’t really do much for me on its own. It was on the lettuce so it’s not melted and the bits are so thin, it was almost flavorless. A taco, however, is a complete package. Unless you are psychopath, no one deconstructs a taco and eats each part separately. The cheese makes its personality known when you eat everything as a whole, as it accentuated the creaminess in texture.

Be careful, my taco fell apart after a couple of bites. Sometimes the sauce will soak through the shell and the end result is messy. The filling slathered my hands like the worst but most delicious lotion ever.

The nacho cheese Doritos shell adds a slight punch of saltiness to the taco that gives it a satisfying full mouth flavor. The shell alone has a slight smoky flavor that lends well to the taco. This is not a gimmick alone, the shell makes a difference. The shades of salt and vinegar from the nacho Doritos shell compliment the taco very well.

I bought the taco twice from two different Taco Bell locations to ensure consistency and taste. They were both identical and damn yummy. One notable drawback is if you wait too long to eat the taco, it will get soggy within its package. That’s not the fault of Taco Bell, it is only natural that occurs.

I believe these should be available at Taco Bell’s near you as most of the ones around me carry it. The Doritos Locos Taco is pure sadomasochistic joy joy for your tongue. The wrapper says “Celebrate Awesomeness” and yes, every time you bite into one of these you are doing just that.

(Nutrition facts – 1 taco – 200 calories, 11 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugars, and 9 grams of protein.)

Other Taco Bell Doritos Locos Taco reviews:
Tampa Bay Food Monster
That Bootleg Guy
The Smidview
An Immovable Feast

Item: Taco Bell Doritos Locos Taco
Price: $1.79 just for the taco or $5.00 for the box (which includes a normal taco and burrito supreme)
Size: N/A
Purchased: Taco Bell
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: The Doritos shell adds depth and flavor. It’s Taco Bell, so you know what to expect if you like them. Great texture. All the tastes balance extremely well. Gimmick or not, this taco is delicious. Darkclaw.
Cons: Soggy if you don’t eat it right away. It’s Taco Bell, so you know what to expect if you do not like them. Unhealthy but you have to live once in a while. Falls apart at times. Access.

REVIEW: Burger King Crispy Chicken Snack Wraps (Honey Mustard and Ranch)

Marvo 13 Comments

Update 8/25/23: This is a review of the previous wraps Burger King offered. If you want a review of the BK Royal Crispy Wrap, click here.

I just spent the last hour reading about trademarks on Wikipedia and the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) website. While staring at pages that had very little pictures, I learned about “trade dress” and “trade dilution.” However, I didn’t learn why Burger King can offer their new Ranch and Honey Mustard Crispy Chicken Snack Wraps when McDonald’s was first to offer Ranch and Honey Mustard Snack Wraps and owns the “Snack Wrap” trademark.

Well, I don’t know whether McDonald’s really owns the trademark because while using the USPTO’s Trademark Electronic Search System (TESS) I learned McDonald’s registered the Snack Wrap trademark in 2007, but also learned they abandoned the trademark in 2007. To be honest, I don’t know what any of that means.

Also, to be honest, I didn’t really spend an hour learning about trademarks. For 15 minutes I read about trademarks, got extremely bored, spent five minutes reading a Wikipedia entry about parkour, then wasted 15 minutes watching European parkour videos on YouTube, followed by six minutes of attempting parkour, and then spent 19 minutes on the ground in pain after tripping on a fence I tried to jump over.

But let’s not dwell on my poor athletic ability, but instead focus on whose Snack Wraps are better: McDonald’s or Burger King.

A McDonald’s Snack Wrap brings together one of their Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips with shredded lettuce, a shredded cheddar and Monterey Jack cheese blend, either McDonald’s ranch or honey mustard sauce, and a flour tortilla. Burger King’s Snack Wraps combine seven lettuces, one of their new Chicken Strips, a three-cheese medley, and either Ken’s Ranch Dressing or Ken’s Honey Mustard Dressing in a white flour tortilla.

Who’s Ken?

This is Ken.

After pulling out the Burger King Snack Wraps from their paper wrapping, I was surprised by how small they were. They were shorter than McDonald’s Snack Wraps. Because of their size, I felt the $2.29 I paid for each was a slight ripoff. Of course, here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, we tend to have higher prices for things, so you’ll probably pay less than I did. But even at two dollars, these are still a little pricey since I pay $1.49 for a McDonald’s Snack Wrap.

Maybe it’s pricier because of the seven lettuces Burger King stuffed into each Snack Wrap. Or, in other words, it takes more green to make these Snack Wraps more green.

I’m sorry for the previous sentence.

However, in both Snack Wraps I purchased, I only counted only two different leafy vegetables. Mind you, I only know of three lettuces: dark green, light green, and red. However, even those two were a colorful step better than McDonald’s one iceberg lettuce. As for the cheese, it didn’t seem to do much to enhance the flavor and the flour tortilla was just like the one McDonald’s offers. I would like to say it would’ve been nice if the tortilla was warmed up.

The chicken strip in the Burger King Snack Wraps had a pleasant crispy exterior, but the meat inside was dry and a little tough. The chicken was marinated, and I could taste some of it while mowing through each Snack Wrap, but most of the Snack Wrap’s flavor comes from Ken’s dressings, which were tastier than their McDonald’s counterparts. Ken’s Honey Mustard had a stronger flavor and more mustard spiciness, while Ken’s Ranch Dressing was mild, but it still made the McDonald’s ranch sauce taste a little watered down.

So if I had to choose between Burger King’s and McDonald’s Snack Wraps, which would I choose? I’d have to pick the McDonald’s Snack Wraps, because their flavors aren’t vastly inferior compared with BK’s Snack Wraps, they’re cheaper, I have the option of getting grilled chicken, and they have fewer calories, fat, saturated fat, and sodium.

Update: Grilled chicken is now being offered. Grilled chicken was not available when this review was posted.

How much less do they have?

The McDonald’s Crispy Honey Mustard Snack Wrap has 330 calories, 15 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, and 700 milligrams of sodium, while the Burger King Crispy Chicken Honey Mustard Snack Wrap has 390 calories, 21 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, and 990 milligrams of sodium.

Overall, Burger King’s Snack Wraps are a tasty addition to the menu, even though they’re pretty much photocopied versions of McDonald’s Snack Wraps.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 snack wrap – Honey Mustard – 390 calories, 21 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 990 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein. Ranch – 370 calories, 21 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,060 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King Crispy Chicken Snack Wraps (Honey Mustard and Ranch)
Price: $2.29 each
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Honey Mustard)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Ranch)
Pros: Really good Ken’s Honey Mustard. Decent Ken’s Ranch. Crispy chicken exterior. Watching parkour videos on YouTube. Vegetation variety.
Cons: Pricey. No grilled chicken option. More calories, fat, and sodium than McDonald’s Snack Wraps. Chicken meat was dry and a little tough. Photocopied versions of McDonald’s Snack Wraps. Learning about trademarks is boring.