REVIEW: Frosted Toast Crunch Cereal

Marvo 12 Comments

Frosted Toast Crunch Cereal

Frosted toast sounds like something Paula Deen created with her greasy, butter coated hands, but I Googled “frosted toast paula deen” and it didn’t show me any results that link the two together. However, Google did show me text ads for Weight Watchers, diet pills, and butter churns.

Frosted Toast Crunch is a cereal General Mills describes as, “baked with the delightful taste of frosted vanilla, then dusted with a delicious dash of cinnamon for a taste that’s pure delight.” So frosted toast is toast with vanilla frosting on top with a little cinnamon? That sounds lower middle class fabulous.

All the previous Toast Crunch cereals have made sense, like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Peanut Butter Toast Crunch, and French Toast Crunch. But Frosted Toast sounds like something General Mills made up. I don’t know of any human being who has put cake frosting on toast. Putting two tubs of it on my body to make a French-cut frosting Speedo…yes. But, toast…that just sounds really weird.

With its white powdered coating, Frosted Toast Crunch cereal looks like it partied with Tony Montana. Sadly, the sugary layer easily gets washed away when eaten with milk and settles to the bottom of the bowl.

Frosted Toast Crunch Cereal Closeup

Of course, this process causes the cereal to lose a lot of its sweet vanilla flavor and whatever little cinnamon flavor it has, but it makes the milk that’s left in the bowl taste awesome. I’m talking upset Jamie Oliver awesome.

If you happen to buy a box of Frosted Toast Crunch cereal, I suggest you eat it dry. Because when you eat it dry, your tongue will make your brain think it’s eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch, albeit a light version. Vanilla is the dominate flavor, but the cinnamon is a bit more noticeable without the cow/soy/almond/goat milk cockblocking it from your tongue. You should also eat it dry because of the way the sugary coating will melt on your tongue when you drop a few pieces in your mouth.

Frosted Toast Crunch cereal is good, but it’s not that impressive. When eaten with milk it doesn’t have much flavor and when eaten dry it almost tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Maybe General Mills should grab a stick of butter and Deen-ify it.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 120 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 14 grams of other carbohydrates, 1 gram of protein, and a clump of vitamin and minerals.)

Item: Frosted Toast Crunch Cereal
Price: $2.99
Size: 13.2 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Eating the cereal dry. When eaten dry, it kind of tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Sugary coating makes the after milk taste awesome. Google ads looking out for me.
Cons: Eating the cereal wet. Sugary coating gets easily washed away with milk. Sogginess happens quicker than I’d like. Cockblocking flavors. Putting sticks of butter in everything. Frosting Speedos.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Caramel Nut Crunchy Nut Cereal

Marvo 9 Comments

Kellogg's Caramel Nut Crunchy Nut Cereal

Kellogg’s new Caramel Nut Crunchy Nut cereal, which shouldn’t be confused with Kellogg’s Caramel Nut Crunch cereal, has no fiber.

If I was a twelve-year-old, I wouldn’t give a damn about it not having fiber. But I’m an adult now, and the woman in the Metamucil ads, who’s also in the Esurance ads and in this 1-800-DENTIST commercial, tells me I need fiber.

Sure, I could get it from fruits, vegetables, nuts, and legumes, but that would involve me buying fruits, vegetables, nuts, and legumes. I can’t keep track of which fruits I need to smell, squeeze, or spin on the floor in order to determine if they’re ripe. Also, even though I love saying the word “legumes” as much as I love pronouncing the word “incestuous,” legumes make me too le-gassy.

I need to get 30 grams of fiber a day and the Kellogg’s Caramel Nut Crunchy Nut cereal is not helping. If you think about it, how can this cereal not have any dietary fiber? It’s caramel flavored corn flakes topped with roasted peanuts. A bowl of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes has a gram of fiber, while peanuts are a good source of fiber. If Dr. Spock ate this cereal, he would say, “This cereal and its lack of fiber is illogical.”

While the cereal is clearly illogical, it does taste very good.

Kellogg’s Caramel Nut Crunchy Nut cereal smells like Cracker Jack, and it should because they’re pretty much made from the same ingredients: corn, peanuts, and molasses. For those of you who are too young to know what Cracker Jack is, according to Wikipedia, some consider it to be the first junk food, so your grandparents might’ve gotten cavities from it.

Kellogg's Caramel Nut Crunchy Nut Cereal Closeup

The cereal’s strong sweet aroma made me believe the cereal was going to have a teeth-hurting sweetness, but it didn’t. Initially, the cereal had more of a molasses flavor than caramel, but the caramel does pop up. Not every flake has bits of peanuts attached to it, but I could definitely taste a nuttiness. Overall, the cereal tastes kind of like Cracker Jack, so if you miss Cracker Jack Cereal, Kellogg’s Caramel Nut Crunchy Nut cereal might be a worthy replacement.

But just don’t expect it to give you any dietary fiber.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 120 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 45 milligrams of potassium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Kellogg’s Caramel Nut Crunchy Nut
Price: $2.99
Size: 13.4 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Really good. Tastes and smells like Cracker Jack. The blue eyes of the woman in the Metamucil and Esurance commercials. Doesn’t get soggy too quickly. Saying the word “legumes.”
Cons: Provides no fiber. Having to figure out whether a fruit is ripe or not. Having to make sure I’m getting enough fiber. Eating too many legumes.

NEWS: Capri Sun Super V Will Trick Kids Into Sucking Vegetables Through A Straw

Marvo 6 Comments

Capri Sun Super V On Shelf

Is the new Capri Sun Super V Fruit & Vegetable Juice Drink the latest way for parents to trick their kids into getting some vegetables in their diet?

A juice pouch with a 3/4 serving of fruit and 1/4 serving of vegetables? That doesn’t sound very efficient.

When I have kids and need to encourage them to eat their vegetables, I’m just going to tell them, “Look, son/daughter. It’s carrots and cucumbers. There are worse vegetables your mom and I could’ve given you, like brussels sprouts, beets, turnips, cauliflower, and radishes. We’ll save those for when you’re naughty, but you were good today so you get the good vegetables. However, if you don’t eat your carrots and cucumbers right now, I’m going to drive to the store to buy some beets and radishes, cut them up, and put them on your plate with the carrots and cucumbers. And you’re going to have to eat all of them.”

Man, I’m going to be an awesome parent. Sure, they’ll probably end up in therapy, but at least they’ll be eating their vegetables. Someone should award me with a “World’s Greatest Dad” mug right now.

The Capri Sun Super V juice drinks are 66 percent juice and come in three flavors: Apple, Berry, and Fruit Punch. The vegetables come in the form of sweet potato and carrot juice concentrates. I didn’t know one could juice a sweet potato. Maybe I should’ve paid closer attention to Jack LaLanne’s Juice Tiger informercials, instead of using them to help me fall asleep.

One Capri Sun Super V pouch has 70 calories, 0 grams of fat, 20 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% vitamin C, and 10% vitamin E.

NEWS: Post Honey Bunches of Oats Fruit Blends To Smack Your Mouth With Two Fruit Flavors In One Cereal

Marvo 1 Comment

Update: Click here to read our Post Honey Bunches of Oats Banana Blueberry Fruit Blends review

When I want to be smacked in the face with a combination of fruit flavors, I usually crash into an unmanned fruit stand without my seat belt on or have an Edible Arrangement catapulted at me. If I want a less bloody option, I’ll grab a box of Post Fruity Pebbles. But the folks at Post are now giving me another alternative with their new Honey Bunches of Oats Fruit Blends.

The new cereal comes in two varieties — Peach Raspberry and Banana Blueberry. Honey Bunches of Oats Fruit Blends combines the two flavors by including the peach and banana flavors on the crispy flakes and baking the blueberry and raspberry into the granola bunches.

A 3/4 cup serving of both varieties have 120 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 135 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 18 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and provides nine essential vitamins and minerals.

Honey Bunches of Oats Fruit Blends are available nationwide in 14.5- and 18-ounce boxes.

NEWS: McDonald’s Oreo Cookies ‘N Creme Pie Sounds Like Something Worth Smuggling In From Canada

Marvo 5 Comments

McDonald's

How come Canada gets first dibs on the new McDonald’s Oreo Cookies ‘N Creme Pie?

The Oreo cookie was invented in the United States in 1912, so shouldn’t the United States also have the opportunity to consume the baked pie with a chocolate Oreo crust and sweet white filling. They say those who smelt it, dealt it. So why is it that those who forged it, can’t gorge on it?

This review of the McDonald’s Cookies ‘N Creme Pie by our friends over at So Good Blog isn’t helping me quell my jealousy.

For now, to satisfy our Oreo-flavored fast food desires, I guess we Americans are just going to have to settle for either a McDonald’s Oreo McFlurry, Burger King Oreo Brownie Sundae, Dairy Queen Oreo Blizzard, Carl’s Jr. Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich, Jack in the Box Oreo Milkshake, Wendy’s Oreo Frosty Parfait, Baskin Robbins Oreo Cookies ‘n Cream ice cream cone, or a Sonic Double Stuff Oreo Sonic Blast.

Image via flickr user MPD01605 / CC BY SA 2.0