NEWS: Post Honey Bunches of Oats Fruit Blends To Smack Your Mouth With Two Fruit Flavors In One Cereal

Update: Click here to read our Post Honey Bunches of Oats Banana Blueberry Fruit Blends review

When I want to be smacked in the face with a combination of fruit flavors, I usually crash into an unmanned fruit stand without my seat belt on or have an Edible Arrangement catapulted at me. If I want a less bloody option, I’ll grab a box of Post Fruity Pebbles. But the folks at Post are now giving me another alternative with their new Honey Bunches of Oats Fruit Blends.

The new cereal comes in two varieties — Peach Raspberry and Banana Blueberry. Honey Bunches of Oats Fruit Blends combines the two flavors by including the peach and banana flavors on the crispy flakes and baking the blueberry and raspberry into the granola bunches.

A 3/4 cup serving of both varieties have 120 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 135 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 18 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and provides nine essential vitamins and minerals.

Honey Bunches of Oats Fruit Blends are available nationwide in 14.5- and 18-ounce boxes.

NEWS: McDonald’s Oreo Cookies ‘N Creme Pie Sounds Like Something Worth Smuggling In From Canada

McDonald's

How come Canada gets first dibs on the new McDonald’s Oreo Cookies ‘N Creme Pie?

The Oreo cookie was invented in the United States in 1912, so shouldn’t the United States also have the opportunity to consume the baked pie with a chocolate Oreo crust and sweet white filling. They say those who smelt it, dealt it. So why is it that those who forged it, can’t gorge on it?

This review of the McDonald’s Cookies ‘N Creme Pie by our friends over at So Good Blog isn’t helping me quell my jealousy.

For now, to satisfy our Oreo-flavored fast food desires, I guess we Americans are just going to have to settle for either a McDonald’s Oreo McFlurry, Burger King Oreo Brownie Sundae, Dairy Queen Oreo Blizzard, Carl’s Jr. Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich, Jack in the Box Oreo Milkshake, Wendy’s Oreo Frosty Parfait, Baskin Robbins Oreo Cookies ‘n Cream ice cream cone, or a Sonic Double Stuff Oreo Sonic Blast.

Image via flickr user MPD01605 / CC BY SA 2.0

NEWS: Wendy’s Testing Premium Black Label Hamburgers (Oooh, Fancy)

The late journalist Christopher Hitchens considered Johnnie Walker Black Label scotch whisky to be, “The best blended Scotch in the history of the world.” Well, I’m pretty sure Wendy’s Black Label Hamburgers will never be considered the best hamburger in the history of the world.

If they end up being that good, I will eat the cardboard box they come in, which if I do eat, I hope ends up being the best cardboard hamburger container in the history of the world.

According to a Grub Grade post, the burger is being tested in Wichita, Kansas and comes in two varieties — Bacon Portabella and Spicy Santa Fe. The Bacon Portabella is made using a 1/4-pound beef patty, bacon, tomato, muenster cheese, a mushroom sauce, and a peppery sauce.

The burgers not only have a premium label, they also have the premium price of five dollars for a single patty burger.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran

Kellogg's Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran

I outgrew a lot of things, shedding interests like Beat Takeshi dispatches bodies in his awesome Yakuza films. I outgrew “yo mama” jokes. I outgrew my obsession with INXS. I even outgrew prank calling Chinese people claiming I was a pizza delivery guy and someone better Goddamn pay me or else (sorry Yen Sun wherever you are). To be honest, *69 proved to be my Kryptonite and effectively stopped me from my misdemeanant hobby. But you know? I have never outgrown cereal.

Hopping off my glorious Vespa, I arrogantly parked my scoot right by the side of the automatic double glass doors. Walking past the scowls of employees and customers, I was in Target looking for two things: some plug-in air fresheners and Frosted Flakes. Even though I enjoy eating the occasional fancy lad food (shaved truffles may have lost some of its allure thanks to the nouveau riche infection but they sure are tasty), a simple bowl of cereal comforts me like none other.

I can eat a bowl for any meal or a late night snack. I love eating “mini-wheats” out of the box as if they were cookies. Is it the perfect comfort food? No, but it is close since cereal is so familiar and convenient. And if you’re a faithful reader of The Impulsive Buy, you can tell that we have more choices than ever for cereal.

My selection for cereal is shameless. As an adult man who favors blazers, I feel like I should really be ordering a proper drink (and I do! Chin, chin!!) regardless if I act like an adult at the end of the night. An adult man ordering a Jägerbomb is plain embarrassing. Don’t even get me started on the Red Bull and vodkatinis…I’d rather be caught drinking a can of Four Loko wearing a shiny shirt with a spiky fade.

Ah, but cereal! Lovely sexy cereal with milk and the silver spoon, I lurve you. I would be happy with a bowl of Lucky Charms as I would be with a bowl of fart inducing Weetabix topped with blueberries. I have no problem eating Froot Loops while watching something responsible where everyone speaks in English accents. My love affair with all things cereal is one of the few constants in my life.

You know suicide sodas? Mixing all the flavors from the dispensers to create an amalgam of sugary fizzy goodness? I’m like that with cereals. Like a chemist, I would mix some Corn Flakes with Alpha-Bits and some puffy Kix to top it off. So just when I thought I couldn’t top off my cereal porn anymore, I found a box of Kellogg’s Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran.

Raisin Brain is like your old standard, like Tony Bennett. It’s not something I want to listen to all the time but when I do, it’s pretty damn good. I like Raisin Bran but need to be in the mood for it. I engulfed a box of it when I recuperated from my car accident. I always thought it made my skim milk creamier and I loved the sweet chewiness from the slightly soggy raisins. So this version reminds me of the Michael Bublé take of Raisin Bran.

The box eschews any thoughts that this is your Grandfather’s Raisin Bran with “Cinnamon Almond” blazed on to the box with a yellow brown background. The famous “Two scoops!” tagline and the earnest looking sun holding exactly two scoops beckons you to open that box.

Kellogg's Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran Closeup

Upon ripping the cellophane bag, the waft of toasted wheat and sweet raisins welcomed me. There is a pleasant but very faint smell of baked cinnamon rolls that emanates way in the background but this is cereal not wine. The cereal had quite a few raisins sans “plump” but there were seldom any almonds in my bowl. I dumped the bowl back into the package. This time I shook up the box like I’d shake any convicted bastard in a shaken baby case to see how they like it and poured another. The result was the same, a good amount of raisins but the thin slivers of almonds were so few.

The almonds were supposedly toasted as well but I couldn’t taste it. Eating a few without milk confirmed my suspicions. The cinnamon is so faint that it basically whispers “Hey don’t forget about me.” Knowing that most people eat their cereal in milk, I went ahead and proceeded to dine like the normals do hoping that the cinnamon taste would be more prevalent.

Kellogg's Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran GlassThe milk did indeed emphasize the slight cinnamon taste. In fact, I think the cinnamon was now whispering, “Here I am. See? Why didn’t you believe me? You have trust issues.” Definitely, the cinnamon smell was stronger than the taste. While it does state that the cinnamon is dusted but damn…I think there is more cinnamon flavor if I sucked on the box. Most of the cinnamon taste was in the milk left after you’ve eaten it all.

Regarding the line that breaches the crunchy/soggy measure, if it takes you more than a few minutes to eat a bowl you are either: eating too big of a bowl or you don’t like the cereal. I’ve never done formal tests but I’m assuming most people take a couple of minutes or so to eat cereal.

I went ahead and let the bran sit in milk for exactly 120 seconds and it stayed crunchy. The raisins rehydrated slightly which is good but plumpness is overly optimistic. Another plus? The good news is that if you like Raisin Bran you will not be disappointed because it tastes like Raisin Bran with some almonds your jerky younger brother threw in there to be funny. Now I like Raisin Bran but I really was hoping for a different spin on the cereal.

My love for cereal is still strong but I would not buy this again. I can only eat so much Raisin Bran and I can only listen to so much Rat Packy/Swing Jazz standards. Now please tell my wife to turn off the Michael Bublé. My ears are bleeding.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 1/4 cup (cereal only) – 200 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 grams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 260 milligrams of potassium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of dietary fiber, 18 grams of sugars, 4 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Kellogg’s Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran
Price: $2.99
Size: 14.5 ounces
Purchased at: Super Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: It tastes like Raisin Bran. Stays crunchy and makes your milk slightly cinnamony. Prank phone calls. People scowling at you. Beat Takeshi’s films.
Cons: It tastes like Raisin Bran. The cinnamon taste is barely there. Few measly slivers of almonds. Taste wise, the only toasted thing were the flakes. Justifying prank calling by telling myself I’m only goofing on my own nationality so I won’t feel guilty…Damn you *69! Michael Bublé.