REVIEW: Limited Edition Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Apples and Cinnamon Bunches & Honey Bunches of Oats with Banana Bunches

Marvo 7 Comments

Limited Edition Honey Bunches of Oats with Banana Bunches and with Real Apples and Cinnamon Bunches

Just come out and say it, Post.

You’re not 100 percent sure you like Honey Bunches of Oat with Real Apples and Cinnamon Bunches and Honey Bunches of Oats with Banana Bunches. They probably didn’t test well internally, but you’re going to put them out there as limited edition products to see if the general public likes them, and if they do, you’re going to distribute a press release that says they were so popular that you decided to make them permanent members in the Honey Bunches of Oats line.

Or, of course, I could be completely wrong because I’ve got my head so far up the ass of convenience food news that I think I’m able to read between the lines of every new product a company introduces.

I guess I just don’t understand why these two varieties are limited editions because both are much tastier than many of the current permanent Honey Bunches of Oats varieties. **cough** Pecan Bunches **cough** Real Peaches **cough** Real Strawberries **barf**

Both flavors are similar to others from Honey Bunches of Oats’ past. In 2004, Post released Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Bananas, which has been discontinued. If the term “EPIC FAIL” was part of my vernacular in 2004, I would’ve called Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Bananas an EPIC FAIL for its disgusting, milk-absorbing banana pieces. As for a close relative of Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Apples and Cinnamon Bunches, there’s current flavor, Honey Bunches of Oats with Cinnamon Bunches.

Like most Honey Bunches of Oats varieties, these two limited editions come with the standard crispy flakes that quickly get soggy in milk, crunchy oats, and a touch of honey. I’ve never been a fan of getting a touch of honey, and I really wish these two had an inappropriate massaging of honey instead.

Limited Edition Honey Bunches of Oats with Banana Bunches and with Real Apples and Cinnamon Bunches Naked

The Limited Edition Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Apples and Cinnamon Bunches have a pleasant cinnamon flavor, but not overpowering. That cinnamon flavor, along with the oat clusters, make the cereal taste like a Nature Valley granola bar. I was pleasantly surprised the dried apple pieces didn’t soak up milk faster than a chubby, thirsty cat on a hot summer day and that there were a decent amount of them. Although, they didn’t provide as much apple flavor as I hoped, but what can I expect from dehydrated versions of their former selves. Overall, I enjoyed it and think it should be a permanent member of the Honey Bunches of Oats lineup.

As for the Limited Edition Honey Bunches of Oats with Banana Bunches, I also liked it and think it should be a regular variety available to all, all the time. The bananas are baked into the oat clusters and they give the cereal a mighty good banana flavor. If you like how banana chips taste, then you’re going to like this cereal. Honey Bunches of Oats with Banana Bunches is what the banana-flavored Honey Bunches of Oats should’ve been in 2004.

I may want both these cereals to become regular additions to the Honey Bunches of Oats line, but, of course, it’s not up to me, it’s up to Post. To help, I could create a Limited Edition Honey Bunches of Oats Should be Regular Varieties Facebook Fan Page, but I’m lazy, and I only like these cereals, I don’t LOVE them, which is just like how I imagine Post feels about them.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (just cereal) – with Real Apples and Cinnamon Bunches – 120 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 15 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals. with Banana Bunches – 120 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, 18 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and a whole lot o’ vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Limited Edition Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Apples and Cinnamon Bunches & Honey Bunches of Oats with Banana Bunches
Price: $4.49 each (on sale)
Size: 17.5 ounces (with Real Apples and Cinnamon Bunches)
Size: 18 ounces (with Banana Bunches)
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10 (with Real Apples and Cinnamon Bunches)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (with Banana Bunches)
Pros: Tasty. Bananas are baked into the bunches. Decent amount of apples. LEHBOOWRAACB tastes like a granola bar. LEHBOOWBB tastes like banana chips. Should be permanent members of the Honey Bunches of Oats lineup.
Cons: Needs inappropriate massaging of honey instead. Soggy flakes. Being too lazy to create a Limited Edition Honey Bunches of Oats Should be Regular Varieties Facebook Fan Page. Limited Edition. My head being so far up the ass of convenience food news.

NEWS: Wendy’s Bistro Cheddar Cheeseburger Sounds Fancier Than It Probably Is

Marvo 1 Comment

Wendy's, Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan.JPG

Like an eighth grade essay, I’m going to begin this post with a definition, which I got from the ultimate eighth grade essay resource, Wikipedia.

A bistro, sometimes spelled bistrot, is, in its original Parisian incarnation, a small restaurant serving moderately priced simple meals in a modest setting. Bistros are defined mostly by the foods they serve. Slow-cooked foods like braised meats are typical. Bistro patrons do not expect printed menus or professional service.

Now I wouldn’t call Wendy’s a bistro, but they’re trying to sound like one with their new Wendy’s Bistro Cheddar Cheeseburger, which I learned about via An Immovable Feast. The burger is made of a beef patty, two slice of Applewood bacon, two slices of cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and a “Bistro sauce” in between a bun.

There isn’t any information about the Bistro Cheddar Cheeseburger on the Wendy’s website, so they’re probably just testing it out in limited markets. But if you want to read a review, go visit Justin at An Immovable Feast and read his review.

Source: An Immovable Feast

NEWS: McDonald’s Chicken McBites Allow Them To Attach The Prefix Mc To Another Word

Marvo 6 Comments

McDonalds

Update: Click here to read our McDonald’s McBites review

Sure, I can’t tell you what part of the chicken are in McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets, but even if I did know and it wasn’t the good parts, I’d still probably eat them by the McLoad because they’re McYummy in my McTummy and I adore McDonald’s Hot Mustard Sauce. However, the McDonald’s Chicken McBites, which are currently being tested in Detroit, might do what McDonald’s Chicken Selects couldn’t do, which is lure me away from McNuggets.

According to Burger Business, McDonald’s first introduced Chicken McBites in Australia. However, they are no longer selling them there, since it was a limited edition item. (Here’s a review of the Australian Chicken McBites). Those McBites were made out of 100 percent chicken breast-meat, had a Southern-style coating, didn’t come with a dipping sauce, and were similar in size with KFC’s Popcorn Chicken.

Burger Business goes on to report that the Chicken McBites in Detroit are being sold by weight. A 4-ounce serving goes for $1.99, 6 ounces cost $2.99, and a 12-ounce serving goes for $4.99.

Source: Burger Business

REVIEW: Post Honey Bunches of Oats Raisin Medley

Marvo 6 Comments

Post Honey Bunches of Oats Raisin Medley

Raisins are the dark, shriveled Post-It Notes that remind me what happens if I spend too much time in the sun without sunscreen. So I like to have raisins around in the forms of Raisin Bran, Raisinets, and, of course, plain Sun-Maid raisins to ensure I put on some SPF before I go out to do a bit of nude sunbathing.

Thankfully, the folks at Post have given me something new to help remind me to rub on some sun protection — Honey Bunches of Oats Raisin Medley.

The latest Honey Bunches of Oats variety is made up of multi-grain flakes, oat clusters, a touch of honey, and three kinds of raisins. What are the three types of raisins included? Well, in the ingredients list, the three are lumped together into the generic term “raisins.” However, without using any knowledge I gained from my Journalism 151 in college, which I earned a D in, I learned the cereal has three different types of raisins — natural seedless, jumbo seedless, and flame (red grapes).

Basically, Honey Bunches of Oats Raisin Medley tastes almost like what would happen if you were really bored and decided to separate a box of raisin bran into raisins and bran flakes, and then throw the raisins into a box of Honey Bunches of Oats Honey Roasted cereal and feed the bran flakes to the birds that hang out near the car of someone you do not like.

Oh wait, that wasn’t very basic. But this is: Post Honey Bunches of Oats Raisin Medley is damn good.

The multi-grain flakes and oat clusters bring the crunchy, while the raisins bring the chewy. Although, the flakes in Honey Bunches of Oats are notorious for getting soggy quickly, but the oat clusters don’t and they provide a nice crunch when the flakes get milklogged. There were a lot of plump raisins in the box I purchased, and while eating through the box one bowl at a time, I found that most of my spoonfuls had a raisin in it. The three types of raisins pretty much look and taste the same, but that’s fine with me. However, all is not perfect with this cereal. I do wish it was a little sweeter and that instead of having a touch of honey, it had an inappropriate fondling of honey.

Post Honey Bunches of Oats Raisin Medley Closeup

Honey Bunches of Oats Raisin Medley is now my favorite Honey Bunches of Oats variety, and it might be one of my favorite cereals of all time. No, Post is not paying me to say that, although if they were willing to pay me for saying that, I’d gladly accept a check made out to “Cash” in an amount somewhere in the neighborhood of $100,000 and the $2.99 I paid for the box.

Personally, I don’t why this marriage between cereal and raisins didn’t happen sooner because Honey Bunches of Oats have been around for over two decades and raisins have been around since someone got drunk on wine and left grapes out in the sun.

During those years of not having Honey Bunches of Oats Raisin Medley, I’ve had to tolerate lame attempts at combining Honey Bunches of Oats with fruits, like Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Strawberries, Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Bananas, and Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Peaches. I have so much disdain for those varieties that they’ve made me want to throw some Honey Punches of Oats at Sugar Bear’s Grape Nuts.

Although I’ve had to wait for it, Honey Bunches of Oats Raisin Medley was worth it.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup (cereal only) – 200 calories, 20 calories from fat, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 120 milligrams of potassium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 26 grams of other carbohydrates, 3 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Post Honey Bunches of Oats Raisin Medley
Price: $2.99 (on sale)
Size: 17 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Awesome combination of Honey Bunches of Oats and raisins. My favorite Honey Bunches of Oats variety. Lots of raisins. Being the number one Google result for the phrase “Honey Punches of Oats.” Contains a bunch of vitamins and minerals. Sunscreen.
Cons: Could’ve had a little bit more honey flavor. Getting a D in Journalism 151. Didn’t come out sooner. No real taste difference between the three types of raisins. Feeding birds bran flakes. Sunburn.

REVIEW: Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack Tortilla Chips

Drew 10 Comments

Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack

I am, at heart, a creature of habit. My wife is constantly irritated with me because she likes to experiment with cooking new foods, whereas I would happily spend the rest of my days eating the same five meals in rotation.  (Pizza, cheeseburgers, pasta, steaks, pancakes/waffles/French toast.  And grilled cheese.)  But honestly, once you find a formula that works, why would you want to mess with it?  I’ll take my Superman sans mullet or electrical powers, thank you.  So I’m always a little leery of the trend among snack food and soft drink manufacturers to be constantly rolling out new flavors.  If I probably won’t like them as much as the regular version and half of them won’t be around in a few months anyway, why bother?

And yet… I like pepper jack cheese.  And I really like Tostitos, for no particularly good reason I’ve ever been able to figure out.  I mean, they’re pretty much just salt and flour, right?  So watching me inhale a bowl of them during football season is basically the equivalent of watching a deer visiting a salt lick, except more pathetic because the deer doesn’t understand the concept of shame.  Nonetheless, as I told my wife, Tostitos were here when you showed up and they’ll still be around when you’re gone, so don’t try to come between us.  She understands.  It’s the same reason you don’t see me making her choose between me and wine, because there are no winners in that game.  Except wine.

The first thing you’ll notice when you open a bag of Hint of Pepper Jack Tostitos is the smell.  Regular Tostitos have an aroma that can best be described as “salt,” but the HoPJ’s definitely have more pop, a bolder scent that fits their in-your-face brand image.  It says that these chips have a statement to make and they don’t give a damn whether you like them or not.  That’s good; I like my snacks with some piss and hellfire to them.  I want chips that, if they were a movie, they’d be played by Samuel L. Jackson with a score by Isaac Hayes, and they’d call you a motherfucker a minimum of three times.  Why?  Because fuck you, that’s why.  Granted these aren’t habanero, but pepper jack often has some bite, so I was hoping the “hint” would turn out to be more of a belt.  I can take it, you sissies.

Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack 2

Well, I have good news for those of you who read that last paragraph and thought, “Drew, you crazy” — while the chips definitely do taste of pepper jack, they aren’t going to be burning out your sinuses.  They’re eminently eatable for anyone, and that includes me; even if they aren’t overly powerful, they still taste good.  The Tostitos are more tangy than hot, and they have a slight cheese flavor, though not quite as much as I’d like.  My wife claims they taste quite a bit similar to ranch chips, for whatever that’s worth.  Personally I just liked them, though in moderation.  Like bacon-flavored beer, they’re a fun treat and a nice change of pace, but if you had to eat them every day you’d be jonesing for the regular variety before long.  If you’re feeling particularly mischievous, mix some HoPJs in with ordinary Tostitos at your next get-together and watch people’s faces.  Don’t do that with Hint of Lime Tostitos, though.  I once grabbed an innocuous-looking chip at a party and bit down, only to have to restrain myself from spitting it out because of all the people around.  First blood to you, lime chip.

Perhaps the most ringing endorsement I can offer is that after opening the bag, the Hint of Pepper Jack Tostitos lasted a total of 3 days in my house, whereas we still have 2 of chocolate creme Twinkies I reviewed last month left over.  That should tell you all you need to know.  From what I understand, the HoPJs are being treated as a permanent new flavor in the “Hint of” line, but you and I both know chips are only as permanent as there are consumers buying them.  So if you’re worried that these won’t have the mass appeal to stick it out, be sure to pick up a bag now.

(Nutrition Facts — 1 oz./about 6 chips — 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack Tortilla Chips
Price: $3.99
Size: One package
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Five foods is all you really need.  Intriguing smell.  Being played by Samuel MF’ing Jackson.  Edible by masochists and wimps alike.  Tastes good.  Mixing with regular Tostitos and watching the fun.  “Pepper Jack” would be a cool nickname when you’re old.
Cons: One step above a salt lick.  Mulleted Superman.  More of an occasional curiosity than a regular snack food.  Lime chips.  I fought the wine and the wine won.