The Impulsive Buy

  • REVIEW: Totino’s Pizza Stuffers (Pepperoni and Combination)

    Totino's Pizza Stuffers

    Totino’s Party Pizzas have a special place in my heart, which I hope they’re not clogging with trans fats.

    Even though I’ve never seen one at a party, it uses something called “Mozzarella Cheese Substitute,” and its crispy crust sometimes makes my upper palate raw, my mouth can’t help but water when a Totino’s Party Pizza is presented in front of me. So while I’ve never seen Totino’s Party Pizza served at a party, it does create a party in my mouth.

    But it’s not just being so damn tasty that makes a Totino’s Party Pizza so special, it’s also its price.

    When on sale, you can score yourself one with whatever loose change you can panhandle in 10 minutes outside the store you’re going to purchase it from. Of course, the more charming or desolate you are, the quicker you’ll probably get the one dollar you’ll need to purchase a Party Pizza.

    While Totino’s Party Pizzas are tasty and cheap, the two things they aren’t are portable and microwaveable. But Totino’s is trying to solve that with their new Pizza Stuffers, which takes the meat, sauce, and mozzarella cheese substitute on top of a Party Pizza and stuffs it into a golden crust. Think of it as Totino’s delayed answer to the Hot Pocket.

    I know Totino’s has their Pizza Rolls, but, seriously, those are meant for 10-year-olds.

    The Totino’s Pizza Stuffers come in three varieties: cheese, pepperoni, and combination (sausage and pepperoni). I skipped the cheese one because, really, there’s only so much mozzarella cheese substitute I’m willing to tolerate. Depending on which ethnicity you are, a Pizza Stuffer looks like either an empanada, a gigantic gyoza, a mini calzone, or some kind of dim sum.

    Totino's Pizza Stuffers Innards

    Preparing a Pizza Stuffer took me about two minutes of microwaving time, flipping it over once at the one minute mark. Just like Hot Pockets, Totino’s hasn’t figured out how to prevent their products from oozing when being microwaved. If you decide to microwave your Totino’s Pizza Stuffer, expect a softer crust that’s a little tough and chewy at the edges. I also baked them in a toaster oven, which takes 20 minutes to heat up at the instructed 425 degrees Fahrenheit. Since they don’t come with fancy crisping sleeves, a crispy crust can only be accomplished in an oven or toaster oven.

    If you find yourself staring into the freezer aisle case at your local grocery store because you’re trying to decide which Pizza Stuffers flavor to pick up, I’d suggest picking up the Combination one. The Pepperoni Pizza Stuffers were palatable, but I could hardly taste the pepperoni. Instead, it had a significant tomato sauce flavor. The only difference between the Pepperoni and Combination flavors is the use of pork sausage, but it makes a huge difference in terms of flavor because, unlike the pepperoni in the Pepperoni one, I could actually taste the sausage. I still couldn’t taste the pepperoni in the Combination Pizza Stuffers, but that was expected.

    Overall, the Totino’s Pizza Stuffers are a good snack or part of a complete lunch or dinner. If Totino’s Party Pizzas have a special place in your heart, both varieties will have a familiar taste, thanks to that sweet sauce they all have. They’re more expensive and less satisfying than a Party Pizza, but their size makes portion control much easier. Because, seriously, I could inhale a whole Party Pizza in one sitting.

    (Nutrition Facts – 1 Pizza Stuffer – Pepperoni – 280 calories, 130 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 760 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein. Combination – 270 calories, 120 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 700 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)

    *uses partially hydrogenated oil

    Item: Totino’s Pizza Stuffers (Pepperoni and Combination)
    Price: $3.99 (on sale)
    Size: 4 count
    Purchased at: Safeway
    Rating: 6 out of 10 (Pepperoni)
    Rating: 7 out of 10 (Combination)
    Pros: Combination flavor is good. Pork sausage brings the flava. If you enjoy Totino’s Party Pizzas, you’ll enjoy these. Portable and microwaveable. Totino’s Party Pizzas.
    Cons: Pepperoni flavor was a little disappointing. Uses partially hydrogenated oils. More expensive and less satisfying than a Totino’s Party Pizza. No crisping sleeves. Uses something called mozzarella cheese substitute. Eating a Totino’s Party Pizza in one sitting.

  • NEWS: Stab Your Butter Knife Into Land O’Lakes Cinnamon Sugar Butter Spread STAB! STAB! STAB!

    Did you know Land O’Lakes makes hot cocoa mixes?

    Well, they do.

    And that was your Land O’Lakes Lesson of the Day.

    Here’s a bonus lesson.

    Land O’Lakes now has a cinnamon sugar butter spread that you can use on pancakes, waffles, or French toast. Or spread some on an English muffin, bagel, or a piece of toast. Or entice your kids to eat vegetables by using it to cook carrots, squash, or sweet potatoes. Or if you just don’t give a damn, you can eat it straight out of the container.

    (NOTE: Please give a damn and DON’T eat it straight out of the container.)

    The sweet spread contains no artificial ingredients and is made using only seven ingredients: cream, sugar, canola oil, water, cinnamon, salt, and citric acid.

    A tablespoon of Land O’Lakes Cinnamon Sugar Butter Spread has 70 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein. The new Land O’Lakes Cinnamon Sugar Butter Spread comes in a 6.5-ounce tub and has a suggested retail price of $2.49.

  • PRIZE DRAWING: Because Sharing Is Caring and I’m Not Going To Eat Three Candwiches Before May 26, 2012

    In order to get my hands on the Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly Candwich, I had to purchase it online and in a pack of four. Since I needed only one Candwich in order to review it, I’m stuck left with three unopened cans.

    I thought about what could I do with those three Candwich cans which have May 26, 2012 expiration date. I thought about doing something honorable and donating them to a food bank. I thought about throwing one into the ocean and letting the currents take it on a journey across the Pacific Ocean and hopefully ending up in the hands of someone in Mexico. But, instead I decided to give them away via a prize drawing and let three randomly chosen Impulsive Buy readers experience the wonder and not-so-delight of the Candwich.

    To enter The Impulsive Buy’s Can I Get A Candwich Drawing, leave a comment with THIS post. I don’t really care what you say in your comment, but it would be cool if you used your favorite portmanteau in it.

    Please don’t forget to fill out the email field because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. The Impulsive Buy will stop accepting entries on Sunday, August 7, 2011 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. Only one entry allowed per person, and it’s open to everyone who’s 18 years old or older.

    Good luck!

    Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails in the following languages: Japanese, Chinese, Spanish, and gibberish. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you weekly takeout menus. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or your fear of the Candwich.

  • NEWS: Jack in the Box’s Jumbo Breakfast Platter Is More Filling Than That Bowl of Cereal You’re Going To Eat

    Update: Click here to read our Jack in the Box Jumbo Breakfast Platter with Sausage review

    This week, Jack in the Box rolled out their Jumbo Breakfast Platter which consists of mini pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash browns and your choice of bacon or sausage.

    Since Jack in the Box’s breakfast menu is available all day, you can order a Jumbo Breakfast Platter for lunch, dinner, or after an evening of drunken debauchery at three in the morning with the goat you have no idea how you acquired.

    A Jumbo Breakfast Platter with Bacon has 657 calories, 37 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 422 milligrams of cholesterol, 1298 milligrams of sodium, 55 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 27 grams of protein. A Jumbo Breakfast Platter with Sausage has 747 calories, 47 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 438 milligrams of cholesterol, 1168 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 26 grams of protein.

    The Jumbo Breakfast Platter is available for a limited time for $2.99 at participating locations. Unfortunately, those who want to get their glutton on in Kansas City, Tulsa, and Oklahoma City are SOL since the Jumbo Breakfast Platter won’t be available in those cities.

  • NEWS: Beer Battered Onion Rings Ruffles To Be Available Next Month At The-Giant-Blue-Superstore-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named

    beer battered onion rings

    Update: Click here to read our Beer Battered Onion Rings Ruffles review

    Earlier this year, Frito-Lay held a contest to determine what the next flavor of Ruffles potato chips would be. The flavors that were pitted against each other mostly read like a menu at a truckstop diner and included Sloppy Joe, French Dip, Pepperoni Pizza, Beer Battered Onion Rings, Fried Pickles, Baby Back Ribs, Smothered Chicken Fried Steak, Wasabi Ranch, and Spinach Bacon Dip.

    After the voting was completed and the flavor dust settled, Beer Battered Onion Rings ended up victorious and next month they’ll be available as an exclusive flavor at The-Giant-Blue-Superstore-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named.

    The Ruffles Beer Battered Onion Rings continues Ruffles foray into unique savory flavors and follows Molten Hot Wings and Loaded Chili & Cheese, which were introduced earlier this year.

    Unfortunately, the flavor will only be available at U.S. location of The-Giant-Blue-Superstore-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named.

    Hello Foodbeast.

    Source: Frito-Lay Snacks Blog