REVIEW: Java Monster Cafe Latte

Marvo 1 Comment

Java Monster’s new Café Latte doesn’t taste new to me because the moment the liquid hit my taste buds, I felt it was a canned coffee energy drink I’d had before. Maybe from Monster or Starbucks? At first, I thought it tasted like Java Monster Mean Bean. But after purchasing a can, comparing it side-by-side with Café Latte, and spending the rest of the day being overly productive and jittery with 400 milligrams of caffeine pumping through my veins, it turns out they’re not the same.

I’ll let the can introduce itself, “Gingerbread, cinnamon dolce, peppermint white mocha…your mobile app would even laugh at you for ordering that! For those of us who love their coffee the classic way comes Java Monster Café Latte. Coffee forward with the right amount of cream and sugar, then supercharged with the Monster Energy blend. Coffee done the Monster way, wide open, with a take no prisoners attitude and the experience and know-how to back it up.”

Um, wouldn’t the “classic way” be black?

Anyhoo, think of Café Latte as Mean Bean without the vanilla flavoring. The coffee taste is much more noticeable than with other Java Monster varieties, but it’s still so sugary and heavy on the cream that I think those who like to mask the coffee in their drinks will be satisfied. (Raises hand) I’ll gladly add Café Latte to my rotation of canned coffee energy drinks because it’s as tasty as any of the other Java Monster varieties, not including the Java Monster 300 line, which I find less flavorful. Now that I think about it, I’m surprised this didn’t roll out when Java Monster debuted or sometime over the past 16 years since then.

But my well caffeinated brain still doesn’t remember what specific drink this tastes like. I found a Reddit post that says it tastes like the discontinued Java Monster Kona Blend. It could be it, but I feel I’ve had it sooner than the last time I had Kona Blend, which was a long time ago. So I’m guessing it’s probably one of the Starbucks Doubleshot or Tripleshot energy drinks. I could find out by buying them all and comparing them, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my day AND evening wired.

Purchased Price: $3.19
Size: 15 fl oz can
Purchased at: Times Supermarket
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 220 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 3. grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 440 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 35 grams of sugar (including 24 grams of added sugar), 8 grams of protein, and 200 milligrams of caffeine.

SPOTTED: Kellogg’s Minecraft Frosted Flakes Cereal

Marvo 1 Comment

I still haven’t played Minecraft. I did accidentally watch a video of someone playing Minecraft on YouTube. (Spotted by Robbie at H-E-B.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email ([email protected]) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Steak Chile Verde Fries

Marvo 2 Comments

Taco Bell’s new Steak Chile Verde Fries has dumped on it many of the toppings we’ve seen on ALMOST EVERY SINGLE LOADED FRIES the chain has dumped onto the world — nacho cheese sauce, reduced fat sour cream, and three cheese blend. But what’s new, along with the Chile Verde Sauce, is something else I don’t recall ever being on one of Taco Bell’s loaded fries — Fiesta Strips.

(Waiting for the internet to correct me.)

I’m going to bring up the crunchy red chip strips before I even discuss the headlining sauce because I believe it’s a simple ingredient that should join the nacho cheese sauce, reduced fat sour cream, and three cheese blend on ALMOST EVERY SINGLE LOADED FRIES from now on. They provide little flavor but add a crunchy texture that no Seasoned Fries could ever achieve. Plus, they would make any loaded fries kind of feel like nachos at the same time.

Although, I’m less excited for them in the burrito version of this product because, as we’ve learned with other burritos that have had them, the chip strips are less fiesta and more feeble when encased in a flour tortilla with gloopy sauces and hot ingredients.

As for the new Chile Verde Sauce, it’s definitely verde and, without question, has chiles. Taco Bell says the sauce incorporates jalapeño, lime, and zesty herbs. The person who made my order didn’t incorporate much of the sauce onto it, so I didn’t get to enjoy it with most bites. When I could taste it, I noticed a pleasant peppery and slightly citrusy flavor, and it had a mild kick that didn’t take away from the condiment’s flavor. But beyond the sauce, it has the same flavors as previous menu items featuring Seasoned Fries and steak, which is still quite good without the green topping.

Overall, Taco Bell’s Steak Chile Verde Fries are another good limited time offryring from the chain. Its sauce is tasty enough that I’d like to experience it with other menu items in the future. Also, I’d like Fiesta Strips for all future loaded fries.

Purchased Price: $6.29*
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 550 calories, 34 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 1220 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar (including less than 1 gram of added sugar), and 15 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

SPOTTED: Tostitos Limited Time Only Summer Stars Tortilla Chips

Marvo

I don’t want to eat these. I just want to fling them at sheet of cake or something. (Spotted by Sage G at Target.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email ([email protected]) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

REVIEW: Vanilla Spice Cheerios Cereal

Marvo 7 Comments

Vanilla Spice Cheerios is the only Cheerios variety that has ever made me go down a 1990s music rabbit hole because I wanted to know if there was a Vanilla Spice in the Spice Girls. There wasn’t, and in the end, after finding out what Bell Biv DeVoe, Gerardo, and Boyz II Men were up to, I realized I was probably thinking of Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Spice Cheerios is also the least memorable flavor I’ve had.

You’d think combining vanilla and cinnamon cereals together would create something worthwhile, but I’m surprised by how bland this cereal is. Okay, “bland” is a harsh word that was used to describe me in high school…and me in college…and me at various workplaces after college…and this paragraph so far. There is some cinnamon flavor, so it’s definitely not as bland as I’ve been for almost my entire life.

But, um, the vanilla.

Is it there? With every spoonful, I keep asking myself that, and because it’s not noticeable I’m sure I could convince anyone in a blind taste test that this cereal is an equal mixture of Cinnamon Cheerios and original Cheerios. Even when I taste the pieces independently, they don’t scream, speak, or whisper vanilla, but they’re also not exactly plain Cheerios either.

I’m trying to remember if this was also the case with Vanilla Honey Cheerios that came out a year ago, but I don’t remember what it tastes like. Okay, my apologies, Vanilla Spice Cheerios. You and Vanilla Honey Cheerios are tied for the least memorable Cheerios varieties I’ve had.

Vanilla Spice Cheerios is a perfectly fine cinnamon-flavored Cheerios. But if you want that and with more flavor, you might as well get a box that has only Cinnamon Cheerios or purchase the excellent Cinnamon Cheerios Oat Crunch.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.

Size: 12 oz box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/3 cup w/o milk) 150 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar (including 8 grams of added sugar), and 3 grams of protein.