REVIEW: Snoop Cereal (Fruity Hoopz, Cinnamon Toasteez, and Frosted Drizzlerz)

Are you a fan of rap music and/or the classic recipe book “From Crook to Cook”? Do you want your breakfast cereal to serve a charitable mission? Or are you just tired of seeing toucans and wacky anthropomorphic amalgamations of various food products have all the mascot fun? If you’ve answered yes to any of those questions, you might want to check out the three new flavors of Snoop Cereal (and if you’ve answered yes to all of them, wow, you have really specific tastes).

As the name suggests, these cereals and the colorful animal characters that tout them were indeed created by Snoop Dogg (and Master P, in a collaboration between their Broadus Foods brand and Post), and they even have lyrics on the boxes to match. But what’s more interesting is that proceeds from each purchase are donated to charities that help homeless families and fight food insecurity.

How are they, though? Well… let’s just say that if you’ve ever consumed a sugary cereal before, my findings probably won’t surprise you…

Fruity Hoopz with Marshmallows

At first glance, this “sweetened multigrain cereal” looks just like Froot Loops. On second and third and fourth glance, it does too… so, okay, you’ll probably be familiar with what you’re getting into. I thought maybe the loops looked a bit thicker than I expected, but that didn’t impact the eating experience much. You’ll smell them before you taste them, a fruity, cloying perfume that perfectly foreshadows the sugar-glazed, slightly floral burst of crunchy sweetness to come.

The most “unique” element here (if it can even be called that) would be the marbits, of which I was lucky to find about one per generous spoonful, but at the risk of sounding like a broken record, they are also not super revolutionary. Again, they seemed to me a bit larger than what other cereals like Lucky Charms provide, but they have that same eminently chompable texture, soft yet with an audible crack after you bite down and before they melt pleasantly and cotton-candy-ishly in your mouth. I prefer my cereal with milk and found that these left the milk with a delightful syrupy sweet flavor, but after intending to eat just a few dry pieces, I (perhaps predictably) had a lot of trouble stopping, so you can’t go wrong either way.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/3 cup) 150 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 19 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein

Cinnamon Toasteez

This may be obvious just from the box, but I couldn’t find a huge difference between this “sweetened crispy wheat and rice cereal” and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, both appearance-wise and flavor-wise. A few of the pieces I had were extra cinnamon-studded, with stripes closer to black than brown and a slightly more potent taste, but these are mostly just sweet with a vague air of cinnamon-y-ness. I think the OG Cinnamon Toast Crunch tastes a bit more of actual cinnamon and therefore is a bit better, but unless you’re particularly picky, this should definitely make a more-than-serviceable substitute.

It’s also neat that, ranging as they do from lightly wavy to practically bent in two, the pieces aren’t perfectly square, giving them extra texture and dimension, and some are studded with air bubbles that contrast the general brittleness well. Their flat shape also allows a cool crispiness when sampled straight from the box, though I found these just as appealing when they were soggy with milk. But strangely, while the cinnamon dust became very visible in the milk that collected at the bottom of my bowl, it didn’t seem to affect its flavor whatsoever, so that was a bit of a bummer.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 180 calories, 5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 14 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

Frosted Drizzlers

This “sweetened, crunchy, frosted whole grain wheat cereal” seemed the most novel to me, but that’s probably just because I don’t eat a ton of its doppelganger, Frosted Mini Wheats. (And probably also because, I’ll confess, when I purchased them, my brain only really registered the word “Frosted,” so I expected something… flakier.) Like the Hoopz, these pieces seemed unusually but not unpleasantly jumbo-sized; I couldn’t tell if they were longer than your typical pillow of shredded wheat cereal, but they certainly seemed thicker.

This is the cereal where I felt milk made the biggest difference for the better. Despite a generous dusting of sugar, the strong wheat flavor and bristly texture pretty thoroughly outweighed any hints of sweetness when eaten dry, but they tasted noticeably nicer when soaked in milk. This flavor was decent, but something about eating an easily countable number of ginormous pieces instead of the seemingly infinite number of tiny pieces that other cereals tend to offer just feels less fun. Plus, I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that I was chewing on a bunch of tiny wicker baskets. Oh, and these produced an even more flavorless milk than the Cinnamon Toasteez.

Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (21 biscuits) 210 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 5 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 12 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.

These cereals are tasty, if unlikely to be anything you haven’t seen or snacked on before. You won’t miss much if you don’t try them, but hey, knowing that your sugar rush comes with a side of helping those in need is pretty sweet.

Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: 12 oz box (Fruity Hoopz and Cinnamon Toasteez), 18 oz box (Frosted Drizzlerz)
Purchased at: Target

SPOTTED: 7/27/2023

Here are some interesting new products found on store shelves by your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of them, share your thoughts in the comments.

The Republic of Tea S’mores Tea
The Republic of Tea Butterscotch Caramel Tea

(Spotted by Allison H at World Market.)

Drumroll Chocolate Glazed Donuts
Drumroll Vanilla Glazed Donuts

(Spotted by Robbie at H-E-B.)

Fruit Roll-Ups Spongebob Squarepants Meme Edition Strawberry Sensation

(Spotted by Robbie at H-E-B.)

Welch’s Color Your World Mixed Fruit Fruit Snacks

(Spotted by Robbie at Walmart.)

Favorite Day Mini White Fudge Dipped Sandwich Cookies

(Spotted by Robbie at Target.)

Kroger Limited Edition Pineapple Coconut Seltzer
Kroger Limited Edition Blue Raspberry Seltzer
Kroger Limited Edition Cotton Candy Seltzer

(Spotted by Robbie at Kroger.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

SPOTTED: Tim Hortons Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Tim Hortons Birthday Cake and Mocha Cereal Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate
Tim Hortons Cinnamon Swirl and Medium Blend Black Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

I kind of want to know what combined all four of these flavors would taste like. (Spotted by @TheJoshCatlett at Walmart.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

SPOTTED: Maple Brown Sugar Chex Cereal

It has never crossed my mind until now that I could be making muddy buddies with flavored Chex cereal. (Spotted by Robbie at Kroger.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

REVIEW: Pillsbury Banana Bread Batter

You’ve been there. It’s Saturday, and you want banana bread, but all of your bananas are green! Rats! There’s no way to rapid-ripen them, so what do you do?! Boy oh Pillsbury doughboy, does General Mills have a solution for you with its new ready-to-bake Banana Bread Batter.

Okay, maybe that scenario isn’t very realistic, but thankfully this banana bread batter is. It’s also kind of hilarious. I don’t know why a bladder bag full of bread batter is so funny, except to say that a tube of goo will always garner a giggle. The product is pretty straightforward. You simply spray a loaf pan with non-stick spray, squeeze the batter goo into the pan, try not to eat all the goo instantly because, for some inexplicable reason, this batter tastes better than most cookie doughs you’ve tried, and then bake.

The batter needs a little assistance getting into all the corners of the pan, so you need to smooth it out a bit. No big deal, and so far, this is the most effort I’ve put into the entire process aside from cutting off the bag’s tip. The first time I made this, I ignored the step in the instructions to let the batter sit out at room temperature for 15 minutes before baking. Instead, I squeezed it out immediately after removing it from the fridge and baked it for the 60-minute recommended bake time.

When I did this, I baked the joy straight out of it. It was way overdone, had developed a thick bottom crust, was pretty dry, and lacked flavor. I was super disappointed, but it turned out the way it did because of user error. It’s reasonable to expect that a loaf of bread that needs to be baked for an hour should be checked on at around 50 minutes or so. Also, the batter tasted so good that I had to try again. I have to give you all an honest review experience!

I picked up another tube of goo to redeem myself! This time I let it sit on the counter for 15 minutes before squeezing the batter into my greased loaf pan. I also decided to add mini chocolate chips because, well, morsels. I reduced the baking time to 50 minutes and checked the loaf with a toothpick for doneness. This second attempt was an enormous success. This banana bread has a natural banana flavor that is not overpowering. The texture is fluffy, almost like a cake. I would say, as compared to homemade banana bread, most homemade recipes are far more moist and sticky dense. But for how quick and easy this is (assuming you don’t have to do it twice because I did that for you), it’s pretty good! It scratches an itch!

Overall I’d say Pillsbury’s Banana Bread Batter is unique and absurdly convenient for a consumer need that I’m not entirely certain exists. But it sticks the landing with a fluffy, tasty cake bread ending. I would suggest adding mix-ins like chocolate chips, walnuts, or maybe even another real banana to jazz it up a little.

Purchased Price: $6.49
Size: 30 oz log (makes 1 loaf)
Purchased at: Mariano’s (Kroger)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/15 of a loaf) 190 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar (including 14 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.