REVIEW: Cap’n Crunch’s Birthday Crunch Cereal

Brandon 4 Comments

What is it?

Despite looking older than his age for several decades now, Cap’n Crunch is turning 60 this year, and as such, he has made himself a celebratory birthday cake-flavored cereal. What, you don’t make your own birthday dessert? Well, LOOK AT YOU, Mr. I-Actually-Have-Friends-and-Family-Who-Love-Me.

How are they?

Distinctly birthday cake-y. What is “birthday cake” flavor, anyway? Generic vanilla sugar cake? Anyway, the Cap’n manages to capture the flavor admirably with his multi-colored misshaped balls. If I had one complaint, it would be that the flavor is a bit muted; if a full-on grade school birthday party cake is a 10, these were about a 5. Depending on your love for birthday cake flavor, this is either a good or bad thing.

Anything else you need to know?

As mentioned above, this cereal is entirely composed of multi-colored, oddly shaped balls. There are no yellow pillows (barrels?) or brightly and solidly colored “berries.” File this under “mildly interesting.”

Also, it appears from the picture on the box that the irregularly shaped pieces are supposed to be singularly colored; maybe the dye wasn’t set when my box was packed because what I ended up with looks like a hippie’s shirt closet.

Conclusion:

If you like birthday cake-flavored things and Cap’n Crunch, you will likely enjoy this version of the Quaker classic. Just try not to get hung up on the fact that the 60-year-old Cap’n has no one who cares enough to make him a cake.

Purchased Price: $4.78
Size: 14.8 oz
Purchased at: Hy-Vee
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (38 g) 150 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugar (including 14 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Stuffed Biscuit Bites

Vin 5 Comments

Dunkin’ has a new bite-sized breakfast snack, so naturally I had to review it.

I’m not sure why, but this has basically become my Bat Signal. If the folks there “Munchkinify” something new, I have to try it as soon as possible and share my dopey opinion with you fine folks online.

Stuffed Bagel Balls? Check.

Mini Pancakes? Got ’em.

Snack-sized Wake-up Wraps? Reviewed ’em.

Shot glasses full of cappuccino? Actually, they haven’t done this, and rightfully so. That would be a terrible idea.

Eh, who am I kidding? I’d be there in the first week ready and willing to give my review, just like I was for Dunkin’s new Stuffed Biscuit Bites.

As much as I wanna sit here and give a glowing review of these tasty little discs, I don’t know if I should because I’ve been bamboozled!

Dunkin’s Biscuit Bites are almost identical to the Omelet Bites I reviewed last year. When I took my first bite, I immediately knew I’d had these before. They’re almost literally a repackaging of the same product in a slightly different casing. I’ll be fair, though, and actually review the Biscuit Bites because, after all, I liked the Omelet Bites.

I would say these are a slight step down, mostly due to the dry and bready shell coating. They still have a nice texture, but I was hoping there would be a buttery Southern-style biscuit base. Instead, it’s more of a soft stuffed bread with a light biscuit flavor.

If you’ve ever had one of those giant crusty knishes from a Jewish deli, the exterior really reminded me of one of those. I prefer square fried knishes myself, but I also like those, so this isn’t a knock in terms of the flavor. It was just a little too dry for such a small presentation.

If an “egg knish” was a thing, this is it. Whereas I would douse my knish in mustard, the egg, cheese, and bacon interior of the Biscuit Bites wasn’t enough to fully overcome the dryness.

Like the Omelet Bites, the stuffed portion here tasted exactly like the inside of a Pillsbury Toaster Scramble. While the bacon isn’t really noticeable by the eye, the slightly artificial flavor is there in droves, and the cheesy eggs act as a nice glue to keep everything intact. Despite harping on the dryness, I was still pleasantly surprised these weren’t in any way mushy.

So, these are new, but not really?

Ultimately, I liked them, but these are just a carbed-up repackaging of an old idea. I’m still a sucker for the small bites, and these held me over for a few hours, as I expected.

There’s an offer all month in the app where you can get these for free with a drink order, so you might as well try them out.

If you liked the Omelet Bites and think the idea of an “egg knish” sounds fun, you’ll have a good time. I’d probably ask for some syrup or, forgive me, ketchup the next time I get these to moisten them up a bit.

Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: 2 Bites
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 260 calories, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 690 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of total sugars, and 10 grams of protein.