REVIEW: Dot’s Homestyle Pretzels Cinnamon Sugar Pretzel Twists

Erin 9 Comments

What are they?

Dot’s Homestyle Pretzels, the once regional savory snack that’s recently been expanding into stores nationwide, has come out with a limited-time Cinnamon Sugar seasoned version for the holiday season.

How are they?

If you’re familiar with the original Dot’s, you know these pretzel twists are seriously hard to stop eating, and this new variety is no different. The buttery, sweet scent smells just like an Auntie Anne’s cinnamon sugar pretzel or a freshly made piece of cinnamon toast. It’s a nostalgic flavor that Dot’s has taken a little deeper with notes of vanilla, maple, and molasses.

Anything else you need to know?

These pretzels don’t come cheap. A one-pound bag regularly runs somewhere in the 5-8 dollar range where I’m at. You can fairly regularly find them on sale, especially while they’re making a push to get into new markets, so if you see them for less, don’t hesitate to scoop them up.

Conclusion:

I think you get what you pay for here; these are so delicious. If you took them to a holiday party, they would disappear in a flash, and everyone would love you for bringing them. A warning, though. You should only do that if you bought several bags because you’ll want to hoard these for yourself.

Purchased Price: $7.49 (not on sale)
Size: 16 oz bag
Purchased at: Jewel-Osco
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (16 pretzels) 130 calories, 5 grams of total fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 260 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 6 grams of total sugars including 5 grams of added sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Van Leeuwen Limited Edition Glass Onion Ice Cream

Jenna 5 Comments

“I think it tastes like a garlic bagel with cream cheese,” whispered the conspiratorial cashier as I purchased my pint of Van Leeuwen’s new limited edition Glass Onion ice cream. Fittingly for a mystery film tie-in, this ice cream is a mystery flavor, but the genre that was more on my mind was horror. Rest assured, though, that this flavor’s name is not a red herring — it assaults you with an overwhelming odor of onion as soon as you peel open the pint.

Pushing onwards to investigate the scene of what some might call a food crime, I noted the ice cream base seemed to be vanilla, streaked with a viscous dark brown swirl. Before my first spoonful even made it to my mouth, I was impressed by its soft-but-not-airy, velvety-but-not-heavy texture that hinted at high quality.

If I had to sum the taste up in one word (other than “HUH?”), it would be “complex.” The foremost flavor was undeniably — and unsurprisingly — the prominent and dominant onion, which seemed to originate from the gooey, gluey swirl and was potent with a faintly acrid aftertaste that was welcome amidst the decadent vanilla’s silky sweetness. I couldn’t quite pinpoint the rest of the swirl’s unusual (or onionusual) taste, but it seemed to have notes of both sweet and savory, which made me guess that it involved sea salt caramel. I was genuinely shocked and delighted when, after I’d finally gotten acclimated to this strange but also strangely addictive flavor, a scoop of what had been heretofore smooth suddenly also included a brittle chunk of… something.

I’m betting that this mysterious mix-in was intentionally hidden deeper in the pint to add an element of surprise. I detected some sugariness and crispiness that made me think of honeycomb, and also made me eager to find another of these pieces. But as my ice cream rapidly melted, I encountered no more of the cryptic crispies, only a series of increasingly oversaturated patches of swirl that tasted like straight-up onion powder, but with odd, extremely intense notes of tartness and acidity that reminded me of balsamic vinegar. Once the vanilla ice cream had become too soupy to be an adequate counterbalance, the omnipresent onion just became overpoweringly gross. On that low note, I headed to Google so I could more thoroughly curse the culprit behind this fetid frenzy of flavors.

It turns out that this is vanilla ice cream with Greek yogurt, bourbon caramelized onion jam, and – yes!!!! – crystallized honeycomb candy (I guess I just got an extremely sparse batch). Like any satisfying mystery, the clues are all clear in hindsight: I can see now how the Greek yogurt was what provided that inexplicable tartness, while the swirl’s ambiguous flavor profile and consistency do, in retrospect, seem quite jammy, and hey, I at least get some partial credit for picking up on an element of caramel, right?

I’d like to end this review by quoting another beloved piece of cinema: Shrek, where the metaphor “Onions have layers” is used to remind us that even weird things are always more nuanced than they appear. Much like onions (and ogres), Glass Onion ice cream certainly does have layers, but I can understand why some might not want to experience them. Now that I’ve cracked the case, I can’t see any reason to ever revisit this product myself. Hopefully the movie fares better!

Purchased Price: $10.50
Size: 14 oz
Purchased at: Van Leeuwen
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 250 calories, 14 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar (including 18 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Spicy Nacho and Cool Ranch Jalapeno Doritos Dips

Vin 9 Comments

I’m sure by now you’ve all seen TikTok’s hottest new dance craze, the Dorito Dip.

What’s that? You haven’t? That’s probably because I just made it up.

Here’s something you won’t believe I’m not making up – Frito Lay makes Doritos-flavored dips now.

Do you love Doritos but wish they came in a wetter and gloopier form? Have you ever wanted a chip to taste like a Dorito, but inexplicably just didn’t get Doritos? Then you’re in luck because new Spicy Nacho and Cool Ranch Jalapeno Doritos Dips are hitting shelves nationwide.

I don’t know if I’ve ever actually dipped a Dorito, but you better believe I wanna dip stuff into the essence of Dorito… so that’s exactly what I did.

My dippers of the day were Santitas Tortilla Chips (underrated chips that someone once told me are literally repackaged unflavored Doritos), ridged potato chips, a soft pretzel, and Chicken McNuggets.

Starting off, Cool Ranch Jalapeno was only decent, and I actually liked it more for the addition of the jalapeno.

I didn’t necessarily think they’d be able to match the absolute perfection of Cool Ranch Doritos flavor, but I still needed more. It’s there, but the intensity is dialed down a ton. While the jalapeno gives it a nice crisp and spicy pepper flavor, the Cool Ranch takes a back seat. This flavor needs to be a dusty coating. It just doesn’t work as well as a sour creamy base.

To be fair, it still tasted pretty good with the Santitas and the soft pretzel, but it’s probably not even better than your run-of-the-mill ranch or onion-style dip.

As for Spicy Nacho, well, it just doesn’t need to exist. If I were to rank Spicy Nacho on the Dip Scale™, I’d put it slightly above the dip from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

It’s no better than a mid-tier queso or nacho cheese. Fine, but whatever. I had to concentrate to get the distinct Nacho Cheese Dorito flavor that really only popped on the finish and was masked by the “spicy” of it all. Push comes to shove, you’ll know it’s based on Spicy Nacho Dorito, but it pales in comparison to the chip.

It’s not a bad pretzel companion, but it just didn’t enhance any of the other stuff. Santitas worked fine enough with both, but plain potato chips were a bust, and every McNugget dipping sauce works better.

Dorito flavor only succeeds as a dust. I’d steer clear of these unless you’re having a big spread and looking to pick up a couple of dips anyway. Just get the Cool Ranch and opt for a queso. Frito-Lay has a better Tostitos-branded one right down the aisle.

These don’t mention refrigeration after opening and are apparently shelf-stable for six months. Maybe I’m a wuss, but I find that pretty off-putting, just as I found the texture to be that of an off pudding. Wordplay.

These feel like they were dumped on shelves with no fanfare or marketing, and maybe for good reason. They’re a strange release at a strange time of year. They probably coulda done okay in the summer, but during Christmas? We’ll see how far the Doritos name takes them. I don’t think they’ll fly off shelves, but it’s not too late to try and move some units with the soon-to-be viral Dorito Dip.

Purchased Price: $4.98 each
Size: 10 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: (Spicy Nacho) 4 out of 10, (Cool Ranch Jalapeno) 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 tbsp) Spicy Nacho – 40 calories, 3 grams of fat, .5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein. Cool Ranch Jalapeno – 50 calories, 5 grams of fat, .5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.