REVIEW: DiGiorno Meatless Monday Meatless Sausage Supreme Pizza

DiGiorno Meatless Monday Meatless Sausage Supreme Pizza Box

What is the DiGiorno Meatless Monday Meatless Sausage Supreme Pizza

Well, for starters, it’s a bunch of words. So going forward, I’ll probably refer to this as DMMMSSP, or “dimsup” if I’m saying it aloud. This is the frozen pizza maker monolith’s ode to fake meat, which has been quite the rage for the better part of recent history.

DiGiorno Meatless Monday Meatless Sausage Supreme Pizza Whole

How is it?

It feels as though this review should be split between “how’s the fake sausage” and “how’s the product, overall?”

DiGiorno Meatless Monday Meatless Sausage Supreme Pizza Closeup

So, to answer the first one — it’s great! Made with pea protein, you’d be hard-pressed to discern these crumbles from the real deal. (At least in terms of, you know, frozen pizza sausage.) There is a very convincing chew and real sausage-like seasoning. It’s peppery without being spicy.

DiGiorno Meatless Monday Meatless Sausage Supreme Pizza Slice

The pizza, however, is just okay. If you’ve had DiGiorno, you’re familiar with the bland, muted veggies (in this case, red and green bell peppers and onions), the overly sweet sauce that gets applied with a sauce cannon, and the crust which is thick and uncompromisingly bread-y.

Anything else you need to know?

“Meatless Monday” was started in 2003 by Sid Lerner, who advocated that people give up meat one day a week for both their health and the health of the planet. Is it weird that this was the first time I’ve ever heard of it? And I say this as someone who’s been a vegetarian for brief spurts in the past and regularly consumes meat-alternatives.

Conclusion:

While I used to think DiGiorno was tops in terms of the frozen pizza empire, it feels as though they have recently been passed on all fronts by multiple competitors. But while brands such as Urban Pie and Screamin’ Sicilian may best DiGiorno in most ways*, their meat-alternative options are, for now, nonexistent. Kudos to DiGiorno for taking the leap; hopefully, we’ll soon see more brands do the same.

*The best option, if you have it in your area, is Brew Pub Lotzza Motzza frozen pizzas, by the way.

Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: 20.8 oz
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/4 pizza) 300 calories, 10 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 750 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Marmite Peanut Butter (U.K.)

Marmite Peanut Butter Jar

In the last years of the 19th century, Justus von Liebig, inventor of Marmite, looked into an empty beer barrel, saw the yeast gunk there, and thought, “Yeah, Imma gonna eat that.” More than a century later, Unilever has released a new spread that combines Justus’ salty yeast extract with another culinary innovation of the late 19th century: peanut butter.

I have to ask, who is this product for? Peanut butter isn’t very popular in the Marmite-loving United Kingdom, and the peanut butter-loving people of the United States hate Marmite, if they’ve had it all.

Me. It’s for me. As someone who loves both ingredients in this spread, it’s possible I’m a target demographic of one, so I knew I had to try it.

Marmite Peanut Butter Spoon

Upon opening the jar, I give the contents a stir. This is an all-natural peanut butter with no sugar or added oils, so it’s separated. Then, I take my mixing spoon and give it a lick (because I’m efficient). The first flavor is of the familiar roasted peanut butter, quickly followed by salty yeast extract. It can be difficult to describe the taste of yeast extract spreads like Marmite if someone hasn’t had them before. It’s salty, and meaty, and a bit beery, and very, very intense.

The peanut butter and Marmite complement each other very well, but there’s no sweetness whatsoever. The Marmite even covers the peanuts’ natural sweetness, so the savory character can be a bit overwhelming. I usually prefer peanut butter without added sugar, but I have to wonder if this spread would have benefited if it had a salty-sweet thing going for it.

Part of the reason Marmite and peanut butter go so well together is that they’re versatile ingredients with savory and sweet applications, and have a fandom willing to explore the culinary limits. I’ve spent countless hours exploring Instagram looking for weird peanut butter sandwich combinations. Think peanut butter and pickle is weird? Try the next-level peanut butter with sauerkraut and onion, or peanut butter on eggs. On the other hand, a thin swipe of Marmite is a great addition to marmalade or cheese on toast.

Marmite Peanut Butter Spread

To test the versatility of this combined spread, I knew I had to do more than lick a spoon. I prepared a piece of toast with the classic peanut butter and strawberry jelly combination, as well as peanut butter and sharp Wisconsin cheddar. The Marmite PB&J proves I was right that this spread benefits from some sweetness. It tastes like standard PB&J with an umami flavor boost. The peanut butter and cheddar is a bit more challenging. It’s already a combo that leans in hard to unctuousness, and the Marmite does nothing to cut the fatty flavor. I liked it, but I also like peanut butter on sloppy joes, so your mileage may vary.

Look, I know I’m weird. I’m willing to pay $19.99 to have a small jar imported. Is it worth that price? No. Is it worth the much more reasonable £2.40 at Tesco? Yeah. Or, you could just buy some peanut butter and Marmite and mix them yourself.

Purchased Price: $19.99
Size: 225g
Purchased at: Amazon.com
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (15g) 88 calories, 6.8 grams of fat, 0.9 grams of saturated fat, 280 milligrams of sodium, 1.8 grams of carbohydrates, 1.2 grams of fiber, 0.9 grams of sugar, and 4.2 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Shake Shack Chocolate Spice Shake

Shake Shack Chocolate Spice Shake Cup

What is the Shake Shack Chocolate Spice Shake?

Chocolate Spice is one of three holiday shake flavors at Shake Shack this season. Its website describes it as “holiday-spiced chocolate frozen custard blended with crumbled chocolate cookies, topped with whipped cream and cinnamon.”

How is it?

As I sipped my shake, I thought, “This is a sophisticated chocolate shake!”

In my first sip, I did get a bit of cinnamon. But overall, this shake tasted like dark chocolate. It’s certainly unlike any other chocolate shake I’ve had.

Honestly, I didn’t realize that the cookie pieces were cookies. I just thought they were a special kind of chocolate that quickly dissolved in my mouth, like chocolate candies that don’t get hard when they’re cold. They didn’t clog my straw (thanks for the compostable straw, Shake Shack!), and they were a wonderful addition to the shake.

Shake Shack Chocolate Spice Shake Top

The only element that was lacking was the cinnamon. I detected it at first, but then it just blended in with the “sophistication” of the shake. After I finished, I could taste it lingering in my mouth, but the chocolate overpowered it.

I live for seasonal things. This shake was amazing, but it just didn’t seem very seasonal to me.

Anything else you need to know?

This was my first time ever going to Shake Shack, and if there was one closer to my house, I would totally go more often. But my wallet and my body are thankful that I don’t have one nearby.

Conclusion:

Shake Shack’s Chocolate Spice Shake is a classy take on a classic shake. Just don’t expect a ton of spice.

Purchased Price: $5.79
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available on website. At least 840 calories.

Click here for our previous fast food reviews.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Froot Loops Candy Canes

Froot Loops Candy Canes Box

What are Kellogg’s Froot Loops Candy Canes?

Rainbow-colored candy canes that taste like Froot Loops! Should we start referring to Toucan Sam as Toucane Sam?

Uh, sorry.

How are they?

Froot Loops Candy Canes Necklace

After the disappointing Froot Loops Peeps this past spring, I didn’t have high hopes for the candy canes. Do they actually taste like Froot Loops?

Yeah, they really do!

My brain keeps expecting there to be some Froot Loops dust or Froot Loops milk around. But nope, it’s just a typical candy cane that tastes like Froot Loops.

I expected these to be fruitier, like the ubiquitous, multicolored cherry candy cane. But these are first and foremost a cereal-flavored candy. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true! I will forever be a mint-thusiast, but these are as good as any non-minty candy cane. (Well, except for those Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes, if they’re still being made.)

Anything else you need to know?

Froot Loops Candy Canes Tree

Besides being eaten, candy canes are best used for decorating trees or gingerbread houses. The rainbow stripes would make these ideal for various decorating themes: tropical, children, pride, psychedelic, whatever makes your days merry and bright. But just like the cereal, the colors are a little muted.

Also, there’s a caution label on the back: “Hard candy may contain sharp edges that can cause injury. Please enjoy carefully.” If you’ve ever had a candy cane before, you already knew that.

I believe these are only available at Kroger stores and online.

Conclusion:

Froot Loops Candy Canes Cereal

Kellogg’s Froot Loops Candy Canes are surprisingly true to their namesake cereal. If you like the cereal and you like candy canes, go for ’em.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free sample of this product. Doing so did not influence my review in any way.

Purchased Price: Free
Size: 5.93 oz. box
Purchased at: Received from Kellogg’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 piece) 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 11 grams of sugar (includes 11 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Cluck Sandwich with Mystery Sauce

Jack in the Box Cluck Sandwich with Mystery Sauce Pouch

Update 9/8/21: We also tried the BBQ version! Click here to read our review.

I don’t hang out with a gang of teenagers and a dog in a van who rip fake monster masks off the heads of conniving folks. So I’m probably not going to solve what the Mystery Sauce is in Jack in the Box’s new Cluck Sandwich.

It features Jack’s new thicker and crispier 100% all-white meat fried chicken fillet, pickles, and the chain’s Mystery Sauce on a toasted brioche-style bun. There’s also a Deluxe version with cheddar cheese, guacamole, bacon, tomatoes, lettuce, and mayo on a brioche-style bun.

Jack in the Box Cluck Sandwich with Mystery Sauce Closeup

As you can see, I decided to go with the regular version since the Deluxe doesn’t come with the Mystery Sauce. Why? That might be the real mystery here.

The first thing I noticed after pulling the Cluck Sandwich out of the pouch that all post-Popeyes Chicken Sandwich chicken sandwiches seem to come in now is that it’s less like a cluck and more like a cheep. The previously mentioned Popeyes offering is noticeably larger. But thank goodness Jack’s new fillet is thicker. Or is it?

Jack in the Box Cluck Sandwich with Mystery Sauce Split

I mean, is Jack counting the breading as part of the thickness like how I use the top of my spiky gelled hair to determine my height? To be honest, I really can’t say it’s noticeably thicker than Jack’s previous chicken. But thank goodness Jack’s new fillet is crispier. Or is it?

Jack in the Box Cluck Sandwich with Mystery Sauce Crunch

Jack in the Box Cluck Sandwich with Mystery Sauce Crispy

Just kidding. It is, but only at the edges of the fillet. It’s not a hearty crunch, but it’s better than what came before. Taking a closer look at the breading, there’s some seasoning in it, which gives the fillet a slightly peppery flavor when eaten separately. It’s not Popeyes-great, but it’s a step above Jack’s previous chicken.

Now I’ll attempt to solve the Mystery Sauce. I thought it was a combination of peppery barbecue sauce and Thousand Island dressing (minus the chopped bits) with my first taste. But after a few more bites and licks, I realized its flavor is like a less zesty Burger King Zesty Sauce, which is the only excellent dipping sauce at Burger King. And that sweet, tangy, and peppery condiment gets enhanced with the pickles’ tang and slight sweetness from the brioche bun.

With all of that said, Jack in the Box’s Cluck Sandwich is the best tasting chicken sandwich I’ve ever had from the chain and I’d be happy if it ended up being a permanent addition to the menu. Is it better than a Popeyes Chicken Sandwich? No, but while I think the current king of chicken sandwiches has better tasting chicken and a better bun, I prefer Jack’s Mystery Sauce over Popeyes’ mayo.

Purchased Price: $4.99*
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 490 calories, 22 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 1260 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 23 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

Click here for our previous fast food reviews.