REVIEW: Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices

Marvo 1 Comment

Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices Cans

Much like the other Monster Juice line varieties, the artwork on the new Monster Papillon and Khaotic cans are striking. Both have a common theme — LSD hallucinations, I mean, butterflies.

Khaotic features light use of butterflies, while Papillon (French for butterfly) has large ones in its design. I also thought about putting a line or two about the butterfly effect here, but my brain shut down while attempting to comprehend its Wikipedia. Or I might’ve fallen asleep. I should’ve chugged one of these energy juices while reading it. The 160 milligrams of caffeine in each can might’ve helped.

Khaotic is a reformulation of the original Monster Energy Juice flavor, Khaos. According to the can, the flavor was lightened up, and the juice blend was adjusted. While Khaos has 30% juice, this has just 10%. According to its can, Papillon has a light, subtle flavor with hints of peach and nectarine, and it contains 5% juice.

Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices Glasses

As you can see in the photo above, both are orange, which might make you wonder whether the poured out beverages are sitting next to their appropriate cans. Is the lighter orange Papillon or Khaotic? Is the darker orange one Khaotic or Papillon? Am I messing with you, and the photo is actually correct? I guess you’ll have to purchase both to find out.

And if you do buy both, neither will disappoint because they’re tasty.

While Papillon’s can mentions peach and nectarine, the ingredients list specifies apple, peach, pear, and pineapple juice concentrates, along with mango and banana purees. Its aroma doesn’t quite smell like peach to me. Instead, my nose detects passion fruit. The flavor is peach-heavy, but at the backend I taste passion fruit, which is odd since the fruit isn’t mentioned on the can. Maybe the tropical ingredients listed give it that flavor.

It’s been a while since I had Khaos, but I remember not being impressed with it. But Khaotic is mighty refreshing, and it sure doesn’t taste like it has less juice. Much like Papillon, it contains a chaotic list of juice concentrates — apple, orange, peach, tangerine, pineapple, and white grape. All those fruits give it a tropical-like flavor, with pineapple and citrus standing out the most. It’s a great flavor, and I like it a tad more than Papillon.

Overall, both are great tasting additions to the Monster Juice line. While I don’t think they overtake my favorites, Pacific Punch and Pipeline Punch, I see myself buying either to mix it up every so often.

Purchased Price: More than I should on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz cans
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Papillon), 8 out of 10 (Khaotic)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) Papillon – 200 calories, 0 grams of fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 48 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein. Khaotic – 160 calories, 0 grams of fat, 115 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 37 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Drake’s Alpine Yodels

Vin 6 Comments

Drake s Alpine Yodels Box

What are Drake’s Alpine Yodels?

I don’t know about you, but Yodelers remind me of fresh alpine snow.

I guess the good folks at Drake’s agree because they’ve decided to invert the color (and flavor) of their classic chocolate snack rolls.

How are they?

I grew up with a guy named Al Pine.

He was just another generic white dude who didn’t really bring much to the table. I can’t say I necessarily enjoyed his presence, but he was… fine? Pretty boring. Decent guy, I guess.

Ok, I’m lying. Al Pine’s not real, but everything I said about him rings true to new Alpine Yodels. I’m pretty sure they’d be dead center on the “best snack cake” chart. These could literally be the barometer for average.

Drake s Alpine Yodels Coating

Obviously, the usual Yodel chocolate is replaced by a bland, “as mildly salty as sweet,” white plastic fudge. I think? I don’t actually know what Drake’s classifies its shell as.

Drake s Alpine Yodels Filling

When you couple that thin coating of milky nothing with a yellow cake and the usual crème, you’re left with just a benign vanilla-ish flavor that will make you yearn for chocolate.

Anything else you need to know?

Drake s Alpine Yodels Wrapper

Fresh Yodels have a great texture, so while these don’t burst with flavor, that aspect was still as enjoyable as I remember. Yet I’m bummed because I love a good Yodel, or Devil Dog, or Ding Dong.

Conclusion:

If the shell was double the thickness with a stronger white chocolate flavor, these would creep up the list. But for now, I stand by the assessment that they are the most average snack cake of all time. Maybe that’s your thing, but if I indulge in a snack cake, it might as well be worth the calories.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 11.6 oz box
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Cakes) 280 calories, 15 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 170 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of total carbohydrates, 24 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Church’s Chicken Sandwich

Brandon 13 Comments

Church s Chicken Sandwich Wrapper

Sometimes, I forget that Church’s Chicken exists.

And I do not mean this as a slight to what is arguably one of the more popular fast food fried chicken restaurants in the United States. (In 2018, there were 1,000+ Church’s locations, which put it behind places like KFC and Popeyes, but ahead of shops like Zaxby’s, Bojangles, and Raising Cane’s.)

It sometimes takes me driving past a Church’s to remember that Church’s is a place. And then I go, “Do they have these everywhere?” And then I think about Kendrick Lamar saying, “Park it in front of Lueders, next to that Church’s Chicken” in “Backseat Freestyle,” and I go, “Well, they have them in Compton and in Kansas City, so, yeah, probably everywhere.”

All this to say, I’m usually well past the Church’s by the time I consider stopping. And that’s a shame because, if you didn’t know, Church’s has the absolute best biscuit in fast food fried chicken. The secret, you see, is that they slather them with honey butter right when they come out of the oven. I’m not exaggerating when I say I could happily eat seven or eight of them in one sitting. (And then feel very terrible about myself, sure, so I won’t. But it’s a fun thought.)

And it is this very same honey butter that Church’s hopes will set it apart from the competition as it joins the Great Fast Food Chicken Sandwich War that Popeyes started in 2019.

But does it work? Let’s discuss.

Church s Chicken Sandwich Pickle

Aside from the honey-butter brushed brioche bun, the rest of the setup is pretty standard chicken sandwich fare — dill pickle slices, a slathering of mayo, and a chicken breast filet. As with most competitors, Church’s offers an original and a “spicy” variety. The latter includes, you guessed it, spicy mayo, and in an interesting twist, a pickled jalapeño pepper that Church’s suggests “squeezing” over the filet, “San Antonio-style.” (I’m serious. The steps are all right there on the website.) Anyway, for the sake of this review, I went with the regular one.

Church s Chicken Sandwich Split

The filet itself was a little bit bigger than Chick-fil-A’s, but a bit smaller than Popeyes. It had more of a crunch than either, which was nice. That said, it didn’t have as much flavor, either. It is a relatively muted chicken, with little discernible seasoning beyond salt and garlic powder. It was very juicy, though, which definitely scored it points.

The pickles were boring fast food pickles. They provided a nice acidity, but they were floppy and chewy, almost entirely void of crunch. Similarly, there was too little mayo on the sandwich for me to notice what kind of impact it may or may not have had.

Which leaves us with the bun.

Church s Chicken Sandwich Top

This soft, sweet pillow of delight is what sets this chicken sandwich apart from the pack. Think King’s Hawaiian wedded with a nice stick of butter, and you’re on your way to imagining this taste. The bun could have used a bit more toasting — it was chewy around some edges — but overall, it was an A+.

So, while the chicken itself was only moderately above average, and the other two inclusions were boring and lacking, the bun elevated the entire experience to new heights, giving fast food fans a welcome new chicken sandwich option.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 651 calories, 34.5 grams of fat, 7.18 grams of saturated fat, 63.7 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,770 milligrams of sodium, 53.4 grams of carbohydrates, 3.36 grams of fiber, 8.49 grams of sugar, and 31.79 grams of protein.

Click here for our previous fast food reviews.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Flipz Pumpkin Spice Covered Pretzels

Ann

Limited Edition Flipz Pumpkin Spice Covered Pretzels Bag

Some snacks are so ubiquitous that I’m surprised there isn’t more branded competition in the US retail snack world. Chocolate coated pretzels are definitely one of those treats. Everyone understands what they are, and they’re generally appealing. But there’s maybe one or two brands tops that immediately come to mind.

When it comes to coated pretzels, Flipz is that sturdy standby brand, occasionally dabbling in seasonal flavors like Gingerbread or Caramel Sea Salt. This year, it’s Pumpkin Spice Flipz, and I was cautiously optimistic that these would be delicious. The back of the bag even promises these Flipz pair well with “…friendz!” Cute.

Limited Edition Flipz Pumpkin Spice Covered Pretzels Waft

When I opened the bag, I was hit with a waft of pumpkin spice aroma so strong that I could have closed my eyes and convinced myself I was standing in the candle aisle of a HomeGoods. It was powerful. There was a slight buttery vanilla scent as well. I was a little concerned the flavor would be terrible.

Limited Edition Flipz Pumpkin Spice Covered Pretzels Innards Bite

Fortunately, the smell straight out of the bag is a strange tease compared to the actual taste of these covered pretzels. The taste is sweet and pretty reminiscent of white chocolate Flipz at first. You can taste the salty pretzel, and then there’s a lingering aftertaste of pumpkin spice.

The pumpkin spice flavor is so mild at first that I’m not certain I would have noticed it if I wasn’t trying to detect it. I do think the flavor builds as you eat more, but it certainly takes its time. Not at all like the experience of opening the bag. While a lot of pumpkin spice-flavored snacks tend to overdo it, these left me wanting more.

There was also a white drizzle across some of the pretzels, but it was purely decorative. They all had a similar blend of white chocolate, vanilla, and pumpkin spice flavor despite the amount of drizzle on top.

Limited Edition Flipz Pumpkin Spice Covered Pretzels Drizzle

Overall, these seasonal Flipz are fine. You could probably open a bag of these as a fire-safe alternative to lighting a pumpkin spice candle in a small room. Thankfully, the taste isn’t at all overwhelming, and you could easily eat a full serving without wanting to boycott pumpkin spice-flavored snacks until next August.

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 7.5 oz pouch
Purchased at: Jewel-Osco
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz/7 pieces) 150 calories, 5 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of sugar, 12 grams of added sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Birthday Party Edition Planters and Natural Light Beer Flavored Peanuts

Holly 7 Comments

Birthday Party Edition Planters and Natural Light Beer Flavored Peanuts Can

What are Planters Natty Light Peanuts?

In celebration of Mr. Peanut turning 21, Planters has teamed up with the maker of Natural Light Beer (Anheuser-Busch) to release beer-flavored peanuts. Even though the brand has expanded into some unique flavors the past few years, this is certainly the most unique it has done.

How is it?

Birthday Party Edition Planters and Natural Light Beer Flavored Peanuts Closeup

Ooof. Admittedly, I had some pretty high hopes for these. I enjoy the taste of beer and was imagining the yeasty flavor mixing with the salted peanuts. What I was expecting and what I got were two entirely different things. They didn’t have a strong smell upon opening the container outside of the normal peanut smell you expect. Examining the nuts up close, I noticed what appeared to be a hard sugar glaze similar to those of the sugared nuts you’d get at a fair.

Upon eating one, the immediate flavor was SUGAR. Like, I checked to see if it was the first ingredient (it’s not, by the way) because it was such an overwhelming flavor. As for the beer/yeast flavor, it is sadly non-existent. It’s been a minute since I had a Natural Light, but you don’t forget that taste and it’s nowhere to be found with this snack.

Birthday Party Edition Planters and Natural Light Beer Flavored Peanuts

There is an odd aftertaste that seems like it could be beer-flavored if someone from the other room screams “BEER FLAVORED” at you. Considering “Beer” is listed as the last ingredient under the “Less than 2%,” it’s not a shock that it’s not predominant.

Anything else you need to know?

They make sure to let you know they are non-alcoholic on the packaging. Which is a shame because I think they might taste better the more intoxicated you’d get eating them.

Conclusion:

Birthday Party Edition Planters and Natural Light Beer Flavored Peanuts Closeup Can

If you like roasted, sugary peanuts with the occasional odd aftertaste, these are for you. They might even be a good option if someone in your family turns 21 because the packaging’s novelty will amuse them. But if you are looking for a fancy new addition to your charcuterie board, skip these and get something better.

Purchased Price: $4.48
Size: 10 oz can
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz/ about 47 pieces) 150 calories, 9 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.