The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Burger King Birthday Pie

May 28, 2024May 27, 2024 Vin 4 Comments

What do Keith Richards and Burger King have in common?

Other than both being famously flame broiled, you’re probably absolutely shocked they’ve made it to their 70th birthdays.

I always expect my local BK to be a shelled-out husk on my next visit, only to be seen again in a YouTube compilation called “Absolute Dumpsters You Used to Eat at as a Kid.”

With that said, I’m a loyal BK defender, and I’m happy they still exist. Despite becoming one of the punching bags of the fast food industry, the King is celebrating his 70th birthday, so let us raise our Coca-Cola Freestyle concoctions in the air and toast – Long live the King. I doff my paper crown to thee.

How does one celebrate their royal seventennial? Well, with a Birthday Pie, of course. Ya know, birthday pies, the traditional capper for any great birthday celebration. A Birthday Pie sounds less real than the word “seventennial,” yet here we are.

BK hasn’t really hit us with many pie options over the years, but its mainstay, Hershey’s Pie, is great, so I was very much looking forward to this one.

I’ve been served Hershey’s Pie. I know Hershey’s Pie. Hershey’s Pie is a favorite of mine. Birthday Pie, you are no Hershey’s Pie. The concept is flawed from jump – it’s a pie filling that tastes like cake? Just give us cake. Let us eat cake.

The Birthday Pie tastes like three slightly contrasting versions of artificial vanilla in a cookie crust. On the surface, that seems appetizing enough, but it’s just very… vanilla. The pie consists of a birthday cake-flavored pie filling, which tastes like blended cake in a weird viscous form, so it kinda leaves you yearning for cake, which you only get in the form of little tease cake bites glued on top of the off-pudding, which is quite off-putting. (Thanks)

The cookie crust is vaguely “graham” flavored, but the filling is so wet it makes the crust limp. It, like me, had no integrity. There’s also whipped topping and sprinkles, so it’s just weighed down with more “sweet” nothings.

This slice just ends up having a vague combination of flavors I can really only describe as “generically sweet.” That’s what “birthday” flavor has become. It’s just sugar. Sometimes it’s confetti cake, sometimes it’s vanilla, but mostly it’s just “sugar flavored!” I think I’m officially over “birthday” as a flavor. Good thing McDonald’s is ushering in the world’s new favorite abstract flavor – “Grandma.”

If you’re interested in a mashup of low-quality vanilla pudding, soft Nilla Wafers, and whipped cream, go for it. Maybe you can make a wish for something better next year.

I should also note this thing has an encyclopedia of ingredients. If a European saw the label, they wouldn’t live to see another birthday.

I actually think this pie is a good metaphor for life because it got old in the blink of an eye. As Keith Richards’ friend, Whatshisface, once said, “What a drag it is getting old.”

Anyway, if you insist on trying the Birthday Pie, get the $6 Birthday meal, or get it free in the app on June 1st.

Now sing it with me, “at B-K, Happy Birth-day. You rule!*”

*Sometimes. Not this time.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 260 calories, 14 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 21 grams of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 3 grams of protein.

SPOTTED: 5/28/2024

May 28, 2024May 26, 2024 Marvo Leave a comment

Here are some interesting new products found on store shelves by your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of them, share your thoughts in the comments.

(Spotted by Robbie at Costco.)

Kirkland Signature Double Chocolate Chip Cookie 5-Count

(Spotted by Hydi M at Costco.)

Member’s Mark Raspberry Loaf Cake, Cheese Pocket Danish, Cinnamon Crumb Cake, Almond Bear Claw, and Iced Lemon Loaf Cake Assortment

(Spotted by Robbie at Sam’s Club.)

(Spotted by Robbie at H-E-B.)

(Spotted by Tommy at Price Chopper.)

Color-A-Treat Garfield Cookie Coloring Kit

(Spotted by Robbie at Walmart.)

Four Sigmatic Happy Gut Organic Herbal Tea

(Spotted by Sarah R at Whole Foods.)

(Spotted by Robbie at H-E-B.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

SPOTTED: Chef Boyardee Frozen Entrees

May 27, 2024May 27, 2024 Marvo 4 Comments

These make me want to see frozen SpaghettiOs. (Spotted by Jarred B at Target.)

SPOTTED: Limited Edition Takis Kaboom

May 27, 2024May 22, 2024 Marvo 1 Comment

Limited Edition Takis Kaboom.

In Canada, this flavor was described as ketchup and sriracha flavored. This US version is sweet and spicy sriracha flavored. (Spotted by Robbie at Five Below.)

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Cinnamon Churro Waffles

May 27, 2024May 23, 2024 Marvo 5 Comments

I have great news for you if you want a waffle with less flavor than Eggo’s original Homestyle waffles. These new Kellogg’s Eggo Cinnamon Churro Waffles will satisfy your unadventurous taste buds. But if you’re craving something with a delectable cinnamon and/or churro flavor, look elsewhere in the frozen food section. Or visit one of the fairs, carnivals, or festivals happening this summer because you won’t satisfy your sweet tooth with these frozen waffles.

In a frozen state, they smell faintly of cinnamon, and while being toasted, they emit an equally quiet cinnamon scent that’s only noticeable if you’re standing about two or three feet away from the toaster. After pulling them from the kitchen appliance, they seem to have an even weaker smell. But what my nose could detect by putting it just over the waffle reminded me of cinnamon swirl bread, but the parts that aren’t even close to the swirl. All this was not a good sign, but it prepared my taste buds for the disappointment that was to come.

If you offered this to a complete stranger and told them it was a cinnamon churro flavored one, any chances of you earning their trust and going from a stranger to a friend (or lover) would go out the door because they would see you as a liar since these have a taste that’s even lighter than its aroma. Because I know what these are supposed to be flavored, I kind of notice the cinnamon, but it’s not enough to convince me it’s also supposed to have a churro taste. Oddly, adding regular pancake syrup somehow unlocked some more cinnamon, but that still made them less flavorful than Eggo Homestyle Waffles. So, if you plan to eat these sans syrup, I pity your taste buds.

I thought about drizzling chocolate syrup on these, like what’s shown on the box, but I didn’t want to be disappointed anymore.

I don’t find Kellogg’s Eggo Cinnamon Churro Waffles to be awful. At least they don’t taste like the box they came in. I’ll finish them with disappointment and syrup. Definitely syrup.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: 12.3 oz/10 waffles
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 waffles) 180 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 390 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar (including 8 grams of added sugar), and 3 grams of protein.

Basic