Tag: Beverage

REVIEW: Pepsi Next Cherry Vanilla & Pepsi Next Paradise Mango

Marvo 18 Comments

Cherry Vanilla Pepsi Next & Paradise Mango Pepsi Next

Crystal Pepsi must be jealous of the reduced sugar Pepsi Next. During its year of existence, Pepsi never released other Crystal Pepsi flavors. Diet Crystal Pepsi doesn’t count.

But the reduced calorie Pepsi Next has been around for just four months and it already has two new varieties — Cherry Vanilla and Paradise Mango.

I know that probably would make Crystal Pepsi so mad it would want to pop its top, but it would struggle to do so because, after 20 years, all its carbonation is gone. Well, at least there is some love for Crystal Pepsi, in the form of a disorganized effort to bring it back via numerous Facebook fan pages.

Cherry vanilla is a flavor we’ve seen before from Pepsi. Remember Pepsi Cherry Vanilla and Diet Pepsi Cherry Vanilla? You don’t? Well, the Internet does and so do I. Pepsi Next Cherry Vanilla smells more like Pepsi Vanilla than Pepsi Wild Cherry, but in my mouth the vanilla and cherry flavors are equally balanced. Because of that, it has a milder cherry flavor than Pepsi Wild Cherry. There’s a slight artificial sweetener aftertaste, but it’s far less harsh than Diet Pepsi.

As for Pepsi Next Paradise Mango, its aroma didn’t register as mango to my nose, instead it smelled more like apricots. Because of my past experiences with mango flavored beverages, I presumed this soda was going to have an extremely artificial mango flavor, but I was pleasantly surprised that wasn’t the case. I don’t know how the mad scientists at Pepsi did it, but they created a cola with a nearly authentic mango flavor. I say, “nearly” because its aftertaste is a bit artificial and the soda as a whole becomes a little more unnatural tasting the warmer it gets.

Now this is the part of the review where I bring up aspartame and high fructose corn syrup. Just like regular Pepsi Next, both of these flavors contain the sweeteners. If the comments in our original Pepsi Next review are any indication, people have strong negative opinions about them and they like to share those opinions with other people. For those of you who don’t want to look back through the 100+ comments, here’s what I vaguely remember the comment thread looked like.

Commenter #1: “Aspartame is evil!”

Commenter #2: “High fructose corn syrup is making everyone fat! It’s evil!”

Commenter #1: “No, aspartame is evil!”

Commenter #2: “No, HFCS is evil!”

Commenter #1: “ASPARTAME!”

Commenter #2: “HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP!”

Commenter #1: “Oh my God, you’re so hot when you’re angry! Let’s make out!”

Commenter #2: “Okay!”

Commenter #1: “Mmmmm.”

Commenter #2: “Mmmmm.”

Commenter #1: “Oooh baby, you have a fine, tight aspartame.”

Yup, I believe the comments went something like that.

Pepsi Next Cherry Vanilla & Pepsi Next Paradise Mango are both really good. I want to say they’re a step above regular Pepsi Next, but that could be my taste buds talking who are slightly tired of Pepsi Next since I’ve been drinking a lot of it over the past few months. These two new Pepsi Next flavors should continue to make Crystal Pepsi jealous because they’re good enough to ensure the Pepsi Next line will exist longer than Crystal Pepsi did.

Disclosure: We received free Pepsi Next Cherry Vanilla & Pepsi Next Paradise Mango samples from the fine bubbly folks at Pepsi in order to do this review. They came in a nice plexiglass box with a beach scene at the bottom of it with real sand. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m going to do with the box.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 ounces – 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 15 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Pepsi Next Cherry Vanilla & Pepsi Next Paradise Mango
Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Received from the folks at Pepsi
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Cherry Vanilla)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Paradise Mango)
Pros: If you enjoy Pepsi Next and your taste buds want more variety, these will do nicely. Less sugar than regular Pepsi. Equal balance of cherry and vanilla. Nearly authentic mango flavor. Going to be around longer than Crystal Pepsi.
Cons: 38 mg of caffeine per can. Slight artificial sweetener aftertaste. Too many bring back Crystal Pepsi Facebook fan pages. Mango flavor becomes a little unnatural as the soda gets warmer. Those who hate aspartame and/or HFCS will not like it.

VIDEO REVIEW: Red Bull Total Zero Energy Drink

Marvo 5 Comments

I know what you’re yelling at your computer monitor.

“Hey! Didn’t you already review Red Bull Total Zero Energy Drink?”

Yes, you’re absolutely correct, I did post a written review of it. But, while writing the review, I came up with an idea for a video version. So here it is.

I’m still a beginner when it comes to shooting video properly, so the video quality isn’t as good as it should be. But, each video review I do is another learning experience…and hopefully a step towards better looking video reviews.

You can subscribe to these video reviews via either YouTube or iTunes.

REVIEW: Red Bull Total Zero Energy Drink

Marvo 16 Comments

Red Bull Total Zero

The list of beverages that contain the word “zero” in their name is significantly larger than zero.

Here, I’ll let you count some of them: Coke Zero, Sprite Zero, VitaminWater Zero, Powerade Zero, Propel Zero, Monster Absolutely Zero Energy Drink, Rockstar Zero Carb Energy Drink, Fanta Zero, Dr Pepper Zero, Big Red Zero, Sodastream Zero Cola, Pibb Zero, Virgil’s Zero Root Beer, Diet Rite Pure Zero, Schweppes Zero Cream Soda, Mello Yello Zero, and now Red Bull Total Zero Energy Drink.

Wow. That’s a lot of zeroes. I haven’t seen that many zeroes since Chicago White Sox pitcher Philip Humber’s perfect game. Or if you’re reading this in 2013 or beyond, or have no idea what a perfect game is…I haven’t seen that many zeroes since I stood in between two parallel mirrors and looked at an infinite reflection of myself.

Companies attach the word “zero” to their beverages for several reasons. They either contain zero grams of sugar, zero calories, zero grams of carbohydrates, or any combination of the three. Although with some beverages, I’d like to think the word “zero” equates to the zero creativity used to come up with a name, instead taking whatever another company used.

As for Red Bull Total Zero Energy Drink, it has no calories, zero grams of sugar, and zero grams of carbohydrates. Although, if I wanted to be a total prick about it, I could say it’s not “total zero” because it has 60 milligrams of sodium and less than one gram of protein. Oh, I should note my head hurt trying to wrap my brain around the fact that for some strange reason the 12-ounce size has ten calories. That there is some crazy ass food math.

Wait, I just thought of something.

If Coca-Cola, who started this “zero” beverage trend, makes Dasani Zero bottled water, I swear I’m going to punch a polar bear in the face.

Red Bull Total Zero has a similar aroma and the same amber color as the other two Red Bull varieties (original and sugar free), and it has the same amounts of taurine and caffeine, both of which are supposed to give Red Bull drinkers wings. I estimate I’ve consumed almost 50 cans of Red Bull, but despite all that liquid and lots of bell ringing, I have yet to get my wings.

Red Bull Comparison Chart

As for Red Bull Total Zero’s flavor, it isn’t as syrupy as regular Red Bull and it’s slightly more artificial sweetener-y than Red Bull Sugar Free, but it has that distinct Red Bull flavor. In order to be calorie, carb, and sugar free, Red Bull Total Zero contains the Three Sweeteneers: Aspartame, Sucralose, and Acesulfame K. Red Bull Sugar Free contains just Aspartame and Acesulfame K.

Overall, I think Red Bull Total Zero is decent, but between it and Red Bull Sugar Free, I prefer the latter because it’s smoother. Sure, the sugar free version has ten calories and three grams of carbohydrates, but that’s an insignificant difference. I think I just burned ten calories and three grams of carbohydrates by typing this paragraph.

(Nutrition Facts – 8.4 ounces – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Our video review:

Item: Red Bull Total Zero Energy Drink
Price: $2.29
Size: 8.4 ounces
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Has familiar Red Bull flavor. No calories, carbs, and sugar. It’s a Wonderful Life reference. Another option to mix with alcohol. Perfect games in baseball.
Cons: Not great if you hate aspartame and sucralose. Pricey when compared with other energy drinks. Slightly harsher than Red Bull Sugar Free. Excessive use of the word “zero” in the beverage industry. Dasani Zero.

REVIEW: Glaceau VitaminWater Attention

Marvo 13 Comments

VitaminWater Attention

When I first saw the new VitaminWater Attention bottle, I thought to myself, “Finally, a VitaminWater for horny men!”

The label is green, which everyone knows is the horny color, and if you’ve got a dirty mind, the word “attention” screams erection. And the red liquid represents the blood which…well, you boys and girls know how an erection works.

I thought a VitaminWater for sexual health was a logical next step since it seems there’s a VitaminWater for every situation. Need energy? There’s VitaminWater Energy. Need to focus? There’s VitaminWater Focus. Want healthy skin? There’s VitaminWater Zero Glow. Want the courage to face a tiger in a raw meat vest? There’s probably a VitaminWater for that too and it might be called VitaminWater Nerve or something like that.

And the list goes on and on until the break of dawn.

However, after reading the label, it turns out VitaminWater Attention isn’t liquid Viagra, instead it’s kind of a liquid Ritalin that helps one focus. Color me Viagra blue with disappointment.

So how does VitaminWater help one focus?

I was hoping they found a way to bottle YouTube cat videos because, my goodness, they’re really good at grabbing my attention and keeping it, but instead Glaceau does it with a 1-2 punch of 87 milligrams of caffeine and 15 grams of glucose.

With the amount of caffeine it has, I believe VitaminWater Attention is the most caffeinated VitaminWater on the market, and it has more of the good stuff than a skinny can of Red Bull. While this VitaminWater has a decent amount of caffeine, I’m not sure about the glucose. But I do know studies have shown glucose helps with mental performance.

VitaminWater Attention is Fuji apple and watermelon flavored, which explains the green label and red liquid much better than my reasoning (see 2nd paragraph). If you like watered down apple flavored products, that’s not like drinking severely watered down apple juice, you’ll enjoy this particular beverage. However, if you’re hoping for a watered down watermelon flavored product, VitaminWater Attention is probably not for you. There is a little bit of watermelon flavor, but it comes with the slight tartness at the end of each swig. Yes, tartness doesn’t happen with actual watermelon, but does with a particular watermelon hard candy I’m tired of naming that rhymes with Golly Blancher.

Although VitaminWater Attention doesn’t have a lot of watermelon flavor, I kind of like it. It’s pleasant and refreshing. As for helping me focus, I thought the caffeine did its job, but it’s hard for me to determine if the glucose did anything. With cocaine, 15 grams is a lot, but I have no idea if 15 grams of glucose is a lot or a little.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bottle – 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 31 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% vitamin C, 100% vitamin B6, 100% vitamin B12, and 100% pantothenic acid.)

Other Glaceau VitaminWater Attention reviews:
Foodette Reviews (Really hated it)
Drink What (Enjoyed it)

Item: Glaceau VitaminWater Attention
Price: $1.00 (on sale)
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant watered down apple flavor. 87 milligrams of caffeine. Awesome source of Vitamin C. Awesome source of B vitamins. VitaminWater for every situation. No bitterness from caffeine. It’s got electrolytes.
Cons: Not much watermelon flavor. 31 grams of sugar per bottle. Not sure if 15 grams of glucose is a lot or a little. Not a VitaminWater for sexual health.

REVIEW: MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer (Black Cherry and Green Thunder)

Marvo 76 Comments

MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer (Black Cherry and Green Thunder)

Update: Click here for our regular MiO Liquid Water Enhancer review

The new Black Cherry and Green Thunder MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancers are kind of like NyQuil. They both have camel case names, both come in a cherry flavor and some weird green flavor, and they both make me grimace when I consume them straight out of their containers.

However, while NyQuil contains antihistamines and alcohol to make one sleepy, MiO Energy contains caffeine and B vitamins to make me hold back Mr. Sandman for a while.

Because of the caffeine they contain, the MiO Energy bottles have a warning that states they’re not for children and should not be added to alcoholic drinks. I also thought they didn’t have any warnings about squirting it straight into your mouth instead of a glass of water, but on the opposite side of the children and alcoholic beverages warning, the bottle says, “Always dilute concentrate.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t read that until after I squirted some Black Cherry and Green Thunder MiO Liquid Water Enhancer down my gullet, so my heart could’ve exploded. Thankfully, it didn’t.

When a 1/2 teaspoon of MiO Energy is squirted into eight ounces of water, the mixture provides 60 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine, which is 20 less milligrams than a Red Bull. MiO Energy is also cheaper than a Red Bull. For the price of one bottle of MiO ($4.99 regular price), which can make 18 servings, you can only buy two 10-ounce cans of Red Bull, or if you’re at a bar, half a can of Red Bull.

When mixed with water, both MiO Energy flavors have a slight medicinal flavor, which will probably be off-putting to many drinkers. At first, I didn’t care for the Black Cherry flavor because it kind of reminded me of watered down cough syrup. But it’s grown on me and now I think it tastes more like a cherry Tootsie Pop.

Green Thunder tastes like an energy drink. If you’re someone who likes to try all kinds of energy drinks, it tastes like one of those cheap energy drinks that tries to copy the flavor of Red Bull, except without any carbonation. For those of you who don’t like to try all kinds of energy drinks, it has a pleasant sweet and tart flavor. Although, as I mentioned earlier, it’s also slightly medicinal. I like both flavors, but if I had to pick a favorite, I’d choose Green Thunder, but not by much.

As for its ability as an energy booster, I think it did a pretty good job, providing me with a jolt of energy that lasted a few hours. To be honest, I was surprised by how well it worked since it has less caffeine than I’m used to consuming.

MiO Energy costs the same and comes in the same 1.62-ounce size as regular MiO. However, a bottle of MiO Energy makes only 18 servings, which is 25 percent fewer servings than a bottle of regular MiO.

But who cares about that, besides cost-conscious people? I certainly don’t because MiO Energy has sweet, sweet caffeine, and that’s all that matters to me and my tired ass.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 tsp – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% niacin, 10% vitamin B6, and 10% vitamin B12.)

Item: MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer (Black Cherry and Green Thunder)
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 1.62 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Black Cherry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Green Thunder)
Pros: Contains sweet, sweet caffeine. Black Cherry tastes like a cherry Tootsie Pop. Green Thunder taste like an non-carbonated energy drink. Good energy booster. Easy to make.
Cons: Makes less serving than regular MiO. Slightly medicinal flavor might be off-putting. Contains a pitiful amount of B vitamins. Squirting MiO straight into my mouth.