Tag: Candy

REVIEW: Snickers and Twix Chocolate Lowfat Milk

Louis 3 Comments

Snickers and Twix Chocolate Lowfat Milk

What are Snickers and Twix Chocolate Lowfat Milk?

Everyone loves the chocolate-based goodness of the well-known candy bars Snickers and Twix, right? Well, now the flavors of those beloved confections are mixed with low-fat milk to form a chocolate drink of sorts, because why not, this is America.

How are they?

With a wonderfully sweet smell and a surprisingly thick consistency, the stomach growls for these dessert-like beverages as both are poured slowly into the cups of my choice.

Snickers Chocolate Lowfat Milk

The Snickers low-fat milk is undeniably sugary, with a taste very reminiscent of what you’d expect: chocolate, peanuts, and nougat. The slight difference here is the faint coffee-like aftertaste that sits in the back of your throat for minutes after drinking. That doesn’t make it a bad thing.

Twix Chocolate Lowfat Milk

The Twix low-fat milk, on the other hand, is far more subtle, almost like drinking non-dairy creamer straight from the bottle. As a rich river of chocolate and cookie flavoring bunch up in your stomach after each gulp, the remaining caramel surprising overpowers every taste bud you have left. To be honest, I felt a little woozy after polishing off my bottle.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Thinking about the coffee-friendly aftertaste, I poured a little remaining Snickers milk into my morning coffee over the past couple of days and, I gotta say, this low-fat treat works far better as an additive than a snack to drink all by its lonesome.

Conclusion:

The Snickers and Twix low-fat milks are novelty drinks that are worth trying at least once.

Purchased Price: $2.49 each
Size: 14 fl. oz.
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10 (both)
Nutrition Facts: (per bottle) Snickers – 270 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein. Twix – 270 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kool-Aid Ghoul-Aid Scary Berry Popping Candy

Mark 5 Comments

Kool Aid Ghoul Aid Scary Berry Popping Candy

What is Kool-Aid Ghoul-Aid Scary Berry Popping Candy?

Kool-Aid has added to the list of popping candies with its new “Scary Berry” candy, just in time for Halloween. (Wait, what?)

How is it?

Kool Aid Ghoul Aid Scary Berry Popping Candy Packet

When I opened the pack, I was surprised to see three different colors and textures. The big, aquamarine pieces are standard popping candy, and that’s all I was expecting. The pop factor is comparable to Pop Rocks.

But there are also blue pieces. It’s been a long time since I’ve made Kool-Aid, but I think the blue bits are just Kool-Aid powder, or something close to it. They provide most of the flavoring, a typical, artificial blue raspberry flavor.

Kool Aid Ghoul Aid Scary Berry Popping Candy Closeup

And then there are pure sugar crystals, presumably to balance the tartness of the powder. Or maybe it’s to resemble the actual ingredients of Kool-Aid, with the popping candy taking the place of water.

Together, it’s a somewhat tart popping candy. Popping candy usually has little flavor, so I’m glad they added the raspberry powder. But overall, it just feels like chemicals in my mouth.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Outside of the packaging and the name, I cannot possibly figure out what this candy has to do with Halloween. I associate popping candy with the Fourth of July, raspberry is likewise a summer flavor, and the greenish-blue color evokes images of mermaids, not vampires.

Conclusion:

If you want popping candy, this is as good as any. But it’s also not much better than any of the others.

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: 3-pack (7 grams each)
Purchased at: Dollar Tree
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3 bags/21 grams) 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar (including 14 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Zombie Skittles

Mark 14 Comments

Zombie Skittles

What are Zombie Skittles?

This year’s new Halloween Skittles mix includes five fruit flavors: petrifying citrus punch (orange), mummified melon (green), chilling black cherry (purple), boogeyman blackberry (blue), and blood red berry (red). But lurking among all these colors is a “rotten zombie” flavor, so you can eat a zombie before it eats you. It’s like Russian roulette for your taste buds.

How are they?

Zombie Skittles Closeup

All the fruit flavors are lovely. Melon might be my new favorite Skittles flavor; black cherry is a nice alternative to typical cherry flavors; citrus, red berry, and blackberry are what you would expect.

But I know you came here for the zombie flavor.

It’s truly repulsive.

It starts out tasting like rotting fruit, and then it transitions to a somewhat meaty flavor, which is horrifying when you think about it. This flavor stops me in my tracks, and I almost want to laugh because it’s so bad.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Zombie Skittles Spoons

It’s easy enough to power through the zombie flavor (or spit it out), so it doesn’t entirely spoil the candy-eating experience. My educated estimate for the ratio of zombie to fruit is approximately 1:9, so most of them are safe.

That said, there is genuine relief when you get a fruity one.

Conclusion:

I probably will not buy these, nor will I be sad if they don’t come back next year. But they do exactly what they mean to do, and they’re a weirdly fun novelty candy. They would be great at a Halloween party.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free sample of the product. Doing so did not influence my review in any way.

Purchased Price: Free
Size: 3.6 oz. bag
Purchased at: Received from Mars
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz/28 g/27 pieces) 110 calories, 1 gram of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of total sugar, 21 grams of added sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Creepy Cocoa Crisp M&M’s

Mark 4 Comments

Creepy Cocoa Crisp M M s

What are Creepy Cocoa Crisp M&M’s?

The Target-exclusive Halloween M&M’s for 2019 are dark chocolate with a cocoa crispy center, in festive colors of brown, red, and orange.

How are they?

Creepy Cocoa Crisp M M s Innards

I was underwhelmed by the Target-exclusive Cookies & Screeem of yesteryear, but these Creepy Cocoa Crisp are a decided improvement. I like dark chocolate M&M’s, but they’re even better with the crispy texture! My family members who don’t much care for the Crispy variety enjoyed these.

My only disappointment is that it’s hard to taste the cocoa element in the crisp part (which is the same color as the chocolate). The dark chocolate overpowers it. But that’s a minor quibble, because they’re still wonderful. This is a simple concept, but it works very well.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Creepy Cocoa Crisp M M s Red M Mcula

With the package portraying the Red M&M holding a bowl of chocolate cereal while wearing a vampire costume, it seems obvious Mars is channeling Count Chocula. But that cereal is made of corn, whereas the M&M crispy parts are made of rice flour. I appreciate the creativity —- it’s not predictable, but it still has a seasonal connection.

Conclusion:

The colors, flavor, and texture combine to make this limited-edition flavor a winner. Since Red is dressed as a vampire, I imagine repurposing a line from The Munsters to tell him how I feel about this candy:

Me: “I really dig you!”

Red: “And someday I’ll return the favor!”

Purchased Price: $3.19
Size: 8 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts:: (1 oz./28 grams/30 pieces) 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 25 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugar (includes 16 grams of added sugars), and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Archie McPhee Fried Chicken and Lobster Candies

Denis 1 Comment

Archie McPhee Fried Chicken Candy

Fried Chicken and Lobster Candy are the latest “I dare you to eat this” candy from Archie McPhee, which offers a wide variety of wild and weird products. Previous confectionery offerings included coal, bacon, wasabi, and gravy. And now you can save all the hassle of preparing fried chicken or lobster and just eat them as candy instead.

Archie McPhee Lobster Candy

How are they? They’re bad. Epically bad. (Even Archie McPhee categorizes them on the website as “bad candy.”) Of course, I didn’t expect these to be good, but last year I tried Mr. McPhee’s candy canes that were clam and mac & cheese flavored (not together; that would be gross). They were somewhat palatable, even if they missed the mark as far as replicating the intended taste. These varieties do bring out the stated flavors a little more, but they are truly awful.

Archie McPhee Fried Chicken Candy 2

Besides having a less-than-pleasing appearance, the fried chicken version had a bit of burnt, sitting-out-for-three-hours smell to it. These made me think of when you go to your favorite fast food chicken joint just before closing time — which as a former fast food worker I highly recommend against — and you get whatever was sitting under the heat lamp about to be tossed in the trash.

Archie McPhee Fried Chicken Candy 3

As for the taste, it reminded me of overcooked fried chicken skin, and not even good fried chicken. I’m talking school lunch or low-level buffet fried chicken.

Unfortunately, things got even worse when the lobster version entered my mouth.

Archie McPhee Lobster Candy 2

It had no real smell at first, although after sucking on it for a bit, it exudes a rather fishy odor. The taste was almost indescribable. Granted, much of my recent lobster-eating experience involves either a fast food seafood restaurant or food truck, which may or may not be serving actual lobster, but I have done the whole wear a bib and use that fancy lobster claw crushing thing in the past.

Archie McPhee Lobster Candy 3

This taste did not bring me back to any of those, but I imagine it might be what lobster would taste like if you left it in the fridge for a month and then decided to take a bite. This one got spit out even faster than the fried chicken flavor.

Archie McPhee Lobster Candy Top

The only positive thing I can say about this experience is that the package designs are pretty solid. The image of the smiling lobster dousing him or herself with butter is both disturbing and delightful.

Are you curious what would happen if you tried both candies at the same time? Because I care deeply for your gastrointestinal safety, I decided to answer the question for you. The answer: gagging and near vomiting. But if you need to produce some actual puke to get out of going to school or prove to your boss that you need to leave work early, this might do the trick.

As harsh as this review might be, I’m a fan of strange, disgusting and creative food, so I do have to give Archie McPhee credit for putting these out. They would make a good gag gift, or if you are truly evil, maybe mix a few of these in with some regular wrapped hard candy and set up a hidden camera. Hilarity will surely ensue.

Purchased Price: $5.95 each
Size: 2.5 oz. box (about 12 pieces)
Purchased at: mcphee.com
Rating: 1 out of 10 (both flavors)
Nutrition Facts: The packaging says to call Archie McPhee for nutritional info. Since I didn’t finish a single piece and don’t ever intend to, I felt no need to call.