Tag: Candy

REVIEW: Lindt Lindor Limited Edition Gingerbread Milk Chocolate Truffles

Joe 4 Comments

Lindt Lindor Limited Edition Gingerbread Milk Chocolate Truffles

I know there are Santa-hatted zombies who advocate for the head first consumption of anthropomorphic treats. But as gingerbread-based lifeforms are known to bolt at the first sign of milk, I prioritize immobilization.

With no central nervous system, a headless treat may leave your cookie craving unfulfilled. For inexperienced or squeamish cookie eaters, Lindt is offering up Lindor Limited Edition Gingerbread Truffles. Sourced from the finest cuts of cookie anatomy, the classic Lindor milk chocolate shell is infused with gingerbread cookie pieces encapsulating a gingerbread truffle filling.

Lindt Lindor Limited Edition Gingerbread Milk Chocolate Truffles 2

The cookie bits add a pleasant grit to the standard and delicious chocolate shell, but all of the limited edition flavor comes by way of the creamy truffle center. As gingerbread cookies are far from creamy in their natural state, liquefying them must be a disturbing transmogrification that only those haunted by the memories of gingerbread houses gone awry can stomach.

The trauma of these tortured souls is evidenced by their Bond-villain like maniacal laughter as licorice bound gingerbread people are slowly lowered into magmatic vats of palm kernel oil.

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Unfortunately, the disturbingly produced core is much sweeter than any gingerbread cookie I’ve eaten and comes across with almost floral notes. These Mr. Big inspired chocolatiers must take particular umbrage with the housewives of the ginger-burbs where saccharin-based Botox is all the rage. A little less literal sweet revenge and a bit more bitter molasses may have produced a better balance and left a few more cookie families intact for the holidays.

While I possess the confectionary architectural aptitude of a blind Fraggle, I hold no ill will towards gingerkind. Even so, Lindor Gingerbread Truffles are worth trying for the novelty, but I will embrace my role as the apex predator of cookie munching interspersed with bites of a standard truffle when the mood for both strikes.

Purchased Price: $5.94
Size: 8.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3 Balls) 220 calories, 17 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 14 grams of sugar, 1 gram of dietary fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hershey’s Triple Chocolate Cookie Layer Crunch Bars

Adam

Hershey s Triple Chocolate Cookie Layer Crunch Bars

There are certain flavor combinations that are self-explanatory.

Whether it’s in Pop-Tart or donut form, s’mores is going to have elements of graham, chocolate, and marshmallow. While something birthday cake-flavored is going to taste like frosting, vanilla cake, and seven-year-old stale sprinkles.

Triple Chocolate is a bit more ambiguous. I feel like there was a time in my life when triple chocolate meant you were getting blasts of dark, milk, and white chocolate in one bite. Those days are long gone, shattered by internet killjoys armed with an air of self-importance and a Wikipedia link explaining that white chocolate IS NOT chocolate.

Subsequent moralizing about faux white chocolate’s adverse dietary effects, not to mention the gentrification of all things cocoa-related, caused candy companies to shop the free agency market to assemble a dream team of chocolate role players.

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Bittersweet, German, ganache, fudge, semisweet, Mexican, nibs, chocolate marshmallow, and “chocolaty” have all had their five minutes of fame in the trifecta, but for Hershey’s latest take on its Cookie Layer Crunch Bars, chocolate cookie pieces and chocolate crème join the milk chocolate rectangles.

Let’s get this out of the way: The graphic designer doing the box artwork should get a raise because the detail on the box is hardly what you see when you bite into each three-square bar.

For example, the box artwork makes the chocolate crème look like the cocoa equivalent of molten lava, but if there’s any ganache-like viscosity to the crème, Hershey’s must have left it in the factory. To be honest, it’s hard to pick out the crème as a distinct textural element at all.

Thankfully, there is some truth in advertising.

The crème, although chameleon-like in appearance, has a rich dark chocolate flavor that dissolves on your tongue and finishes each bite. It works especially well because it’s a nice contrast to the crunchy Dutch chocolate taste of the cookie pieces, which remind me of Chips Ahoy! Double Chocolate Cookie Thins.

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As much as I like the cookie pieces and the crème, I couldn’t help but think the bar gets dragged down by the run-of-the-mill chocolate shell. There’s nothing wrong with the taste and texture of Hershey’s milk chocolate per se, but its familiarity and rather pedestrian chocolate taste frame the entire bar in an air of, well, averageness.

Average chocolate shell aside, Hershey’s Triple Cookie Layer Crunch Bars are a cool upgrade from the original bar. It also makes a strong case that triple chocolate (the flavor, that is) should keep cookie pieces and crème around for another season.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 pieces – 210 calories, 13 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 6.3 oz. package/9 pieces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Awesome crunchy cookie taste in candy bar form. Chocolate crème gives the filling a rich dark chocolate complexity. Premium aesthetic in the packaging.
Cons: Chocolate crème is underrepresented and doesn’t have the gooey texture it does in the promo pic. Hershey’s milk chocolate feels pedestrian alongside other chocolate elements. The inability of candy and snack companies to assemble a triple chocolate dynasty.

REVIEW: Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes

Mark 1 Comment

Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes

Candy canes have two primary purposes. And the new Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes do a good job of fulfilling both purposes.

The first purpose is to be a festive decoration.

The color of a Butter Rum Lifesaver does not exactly conjure up images of Kris Kringle or winter wonderlands. Sia’s new Christmas song “Candy Cane Lane” describes a whole array of candy cane colors, yet brown or tan are not among them.

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Nevertheless, Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes are surprisingly festive and attractive, with a white base and two different shades of gold and brown. It looks way better than it would be if it were one solid rum color.

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It’s not as Christmassy as a traditional red, or even as festive as the multicolored cherry ones. But it would be perfect on a tree decorated with lots of gold ornaments, if that’s your thing. (It’s not mine.) I was surprised to find that the candy canes have inconsistent lengths.

The second purpose of a candy cane is, of course, to be candy. Peppermint is the classic flavor, and my favorite, but lots of people don’t like that, especially children. Kids tend to prefer fruity flavors, but I find them sickeningly sweet and artificial.

These Butter Rum Candy Canes will be a wonderful middle ground and will appeal to adults and kids. They taste like I remember ordinary Butter Rum Life Savers. Admittedly, it’s been a while since I had them, so I don’t know if they’re exactly the same, but if not, they’re close enough. The canes taste like a butterscotch candy, but a little more buttery. (I’m a teetotaler, so I can’t tell you if they taste like rum.)

I never noticed it until I had this variety, but there is a subtle candy cane flavor to most candy canes. I’m not talking about peppermint, but an underlying flavor that is unrelated to whatever the “real” flavor is. Peppermint candy canes have it, fruity candy canes have it, and these Butter Rum Candy Canes have it. Maybe I’m mistaking texture for flavor, but regardless, these definitely belong in the candy cane family.

Since these are true candy canes, they do come with typical candy cane hazards. The colored stripes dissolve faster than the white matrix and create sharp edges.

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Additionally, you can suck them into sharp swords. I associate swords with pirates. I also associate rum with pirates, so it fits.

I’m a mint-thusiast, so I’ll generally stick with the peppermint. But these are the best non-mint candy canes I’ve had in a while.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cane – 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 20 milligrams of sodium, 12 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 5.28 oz. box
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like Butter Rum Life Savers. A tasty middle ground between fruity and peppermint flavors. Looks festive even though it’s brown.
Cons: Typical candy cane hazards of sharpness. Butter Rum Life Savers do not have a naturally festive color.

REVIEW: Peanut Brrr-ittle M&M’s

Kyle 3 Comments

Peanut Brrr ittle M M s

While the weather on this packaging is frightful, Mars has launched a new seasonal M&M’s flavor that they hope you think is delightful.

Just in time for the holidays, Peanut Brrr-ittle M&M’s have popped up on Target shelves. To be honest, I wouldn’t have pegged peanut brittle as a holiday flavor, but my recent internet searches suggest that homemade peanut brittle makes a great Christmas gift. A terrible gift, but a gift nonetheless.

It’s also possible that Mars only chose Peanut Brrr-ittle for the punniness of the name. If that’s the case, I’m glad that Brrr-occoli or Brrr-ussel Sprouts didn’t make it past the testing phase.

Since these M&M’s are a Target exclusive, you’ll have to journey through the holiday labyrinth that is the Target Christmas section. If you can avoid the shattered ornaments on the ground, the unorganized stockings strewn about, and the incessant droning of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” from a chorus of battery operated gyrating conifers, you’ll land upon the Peanut Brrr-ittle M&M’s nestled between the other holiday varieties.

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Upon opening the bag, I was greeted by what looked like a traditional package of holiday Peanut M&M’s. I did a double take – had I picked up the wrong bag on the shelf? Had there been a horrible error on the M&M’s assembly line? Thankfully not – the smell of these M&M’s is very different from the traditional variety, a strong dark caramel scent that borders on artificiality.

Those same caramel notes come through in the taste, similar to what you’d find between the peanuts in a traditional brittle. While the basic peanut still sits in the center of each candy, the chocolate coating offers the aforementioned caramel flavors with hints of a more roasted flavor, similar to a hazelnut. I found the flavoring to be inconsistently applied across the M&M’s I sampled (read: most of the bag), as some tasted more heavily of the normal peanut interior, and some bordered on an overwhelmingly artificial caramel coffee creamer flavor.

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While I found these M&M’s to have a jarring taste at first, I warmed up to them over time as I got used to the nontraditional flavor. I will say that it’s difficult to eat more than a handful of these at each sitting, as the peanut brittle taste does get a little bit overpowering the more you munch.

Thankfully, the Peanut Brrr-ittle M&M’s feature a RESEALABLE ZIPPER! (their emphasis, not mine), so you can save a few to leave out for Santa on Christmas Eve.

Overall, these M&Ms are a perfect way to get your peanut brittle fix without any of the danger of burning yourself with hot sugar on the stove.

(Nutrition Facts – 1.5 ounces – 220 calories, 12 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 20 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 22 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.19
Size: 8 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Caroling while eating. Roasted, caramel flavor. Oh so punny. RESEALABLE ZIPPER!
Cons: Stocking slalom on the way to the shelf. Overwhelming in large quantities.

REVIEW: Brach’s Fruit Cake Nougats

Mark 15 Comments

Brach s Fruit Cake Nougats

In many European folk tales, a family discovers that their child has been replaced with a changeling, a hideous, ill-tempered fairy baby.

I think Brach’s has a changeling on its hands.

I have always loved their Christmas Nougats: wonderful white peppermint, gorgeous green wintergreen, and pretty pink cinnamon.

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But the new member of the family, Brach’s Fruit Cake Nougat, is nothing like its siblings. It’s brown. And it doesn’t have the festive tree in the middle—just a few fruity globs that are drab when mixed in with the brown.

When I open up the bag, I get a whiff that is vaguely reminiscent of baked goods. But not grandmotherly baked goods. I never lived in a fraternity, but I imagine this is what a baked good in a frat house smells like.

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The flavor has that same off-putting baked-good vibe to it. Sometimes I detect a nuttiness. But mixed in with the baked good is a strong flavor of Fruity Pebbles. I like Fruity Pebbles, but not combined with whatever that other flavor is. Even once I’ve finished, the flavor lingers in my mouth.

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I find it perplexing that they decided to go with a fruitcake flavor. I’ve always felt that fruitcake jokes are more common than fruitcakes themselves. I even had to buy a fruitcake as a point of reference, because I haven’t had them enough to remember what they taste like.

In addition to the gummy, fruity bits, Brach’s uses real cranberries and raisins. Props to them for trying to make it like an authentic fruitcake. I guess. These candies don’t taste like the fruitcake I got; the fruitcake actually tastes better.

I can’t help but wonder who is really going to buy this —- and then who is really going to like it. They had so many other holiday flavors to choose from. Spearmint, gingerbread, sugar cookie, eggnog, cranberry orange, hot cocoa -— not all of those would be good as nougat, but most of them would be better than fruitcake.

In many of those European folk tales, the family would throw the changeling into the fire. It would escape out the chimney, and their own child would be restored to them.

Brach’s should treat their Fruit Cake Nougat the way any sensible person would —- kill it with fire!

Then maybe we’d get to see a lovely Christmas Nougat baby that actually belongs in the family. Spearmint, perhaps?

(Nutrition Facts – 4 pieces – 130 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 21 grams of sugar (including 17 grams of added sugars), and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 9.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walgreens (exclusive flavor)
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Uses actual cranberries and raisins. Has a Fruity Pebbles taste.
Cons: Tastes like baked goods from a frat house. Lingering flavor. As hideous as a changeling. Inferior to the other Christmas Nougats.