Candy – Page 47 – The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Apple Pie Tic Tac

Mark / December 1, 2016 / Reviews / 3 Comments

Tic Tacs — the little candy that pretends to be a breath mint, even though I doubt they’ve ever freshened anyone’s breath. I don’t know about you, but my mouth feels worse when I have a Tic Tac.

But that doesn’t stop me from buying their holiday versions. Usually that means they just mix a few of their existing flavors into a new color scheme. But they’re branching out more into new flavors.

Hence the new Apple Pie Tic Tacs. I found them in the Christmas candy aisle (next to Candy Cane Tic Tacs), and the label says it’s “stocking stuffer size” (because obviously regular-sized Tic Tacs are too small to fit in a stocking), but other than that, these don’t scream Christmas. I associate apple pie more with Thanksgiving, so that’s a good thing.

I find it a little odd that they’re red, because when I eat apple pie, the apples are peeled, so it’s just a mixture of whites and tans. But I guess beige Tic Tacs wouldn’t sell well. The little apple pie drawing on the label looks like it could be full of giant red Tic Tacs (or else regular Tic Tacs in a tiny pie). Also, the apple on the label is green. Weird.

When I pop one in my mouth, it just tastes like apple, fairly similar to Green Apple Tic Tacs. (Both kinds are made with dried apples, but these specify that they’re dried red apples.) After I suck on it, other flavors kick in, though I can’t tell what flavors. It’s not really spicy, but it is vaguely reminiscent of pie. My niece and my sister said it tastes like Sugar Babies, but I didn’t taste that.

Regardless of what they taste like, these are good. Imma venture these are the best fruity Tic Tacs I’ve ever had. In fact, I might go so far as to say these are the best Tic Tacs I’ve ever had, period.

But, at the end of the day, they’re still just Tic-Tacs. They have no place on the Thanksgiving dinner table. But they will gladly be passed around afterward during the football game.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 piece – 1.9 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, less than 0.5 grams of carbohydrates, less than 0.5 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: 99 cents
Size: 1.7 oz. container
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes vaguely like pie. Better than most, or all, Tic Tacs. Seasonal flavors. Not excessively marketed for Christmas.
Cons: Doesn’t freshen breath. Inaccurate red color.

REVIEW: Shimmery White Chocolate M&M’s

Rachel / November 23, 2016 / Reviews / 6 Comments

I am of the opinion that there’s very little in life that can’t be improved by a bit of glitter. So you can imagine how excited I was to hear about Shimmery White Chocolate M&M’s – a limited edition with sparkles! Visions of glitzy holiday food crafts danced in my head.

After locating a small stash in the barely-yet-stocked holiday aisle of Target, I hurried home – careful not to jostle too much for fear of dislodging any shimmer. I sliced open the bag and feasted my eyes on…what’s the opposite of glitter?

Crusty patina?

There wasn’t a whiff of twinkle in this bag. Not even a glint. The smooth, dull red and green candies were mottled with pale opaque flecks. It looked a bit like the white-ish “bloom” you see on old chocolate – the stuff that instinctively makes people hurl perfectly edible chocolate across the room like a flaming snake. The white candies were just solid white, no patina or glow. I’m curious if they rolled off the production line like this, or if something happened in transit. In any case, they were a 100 percent shimmer fail.

The taste is the familiar M&M’s white chocolate that we’ve seen in other editions like Candy Corn and Boo-tterscotch – sweet and milky, but without additional flavor in this case. I do generally love the larger, rounder size and shape of the limited-edition M&M’s. It’s a tactile reminder that you’re indulging in something apart from the classic. But considering that the appeal of this particular product rests almost entirely in the visuals, I have to consider them a flop.

My dreams of Pinterest-worthy, shiny M&M-studded baked goods were out the window like a gin-soaked Santa who couldn’t manage the chimney. So I grabbed some edible glitter from the baking supply shop and fixed them for you, Mars. You’re welcome!

…and craft nirvana achieved.

(Nutrition Facts – 1.5 ounces – 210 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 28 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.19
Size: 8 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Taste is solid – the basic M&M’s white chocolate base.
Cons: I was promised shimmer! I want my shimmer!

Candy M&M's Mars

REVIEW: Vanilla Milkshake Whoppers

Vin / November 17, 2016 / Reviews / 4 Comments

Every year, post-Halloween, I see lists of peoples’ least favorite candies.

For some reason Whoppers always crack the list. I don’t get it. Even if you aren’t a huge fan of these “malted milk balls,” don’t you like a little variety? What’s wrong with a couple malt(ed milk) balls mixed in with the rest of your haul? (Don’t you dare simply refer to them as “Malt balls!”)

I’m actually surprised Whoppers are even still around. They feel like a candy of yesteryear. We as a culture just don’t seem to appreciate malt anymore. When was the last time anyone under the age of ancient ordered a malted milkshake?

Speaking of, the fine folks at Hershey seem to think people still have a hankering for them with their release of Vanilla Milkshake Whoppers. I’ve always been a fan of the originals, and dug the Strawberry Milkshake Whoppers a good deal, so I snatched two of these cartons as soon as I saw them.

Upon ripping open said carton I was met with a vanilla scent that got masked quickly by the smell of cardboard. Once I poured the contents into a glass, they regained their pleasant vanilla smell.

The waxy outer coating had a “white chocolatey” flavor. I know it’s vanilla but it tasted like white chocolate to me. Let’s be real, there’s not THAT big a difference between the two anyway. Whether you taste vanilla or white chocolate, the flavor really doesn’t last long enough to make a major impact. This is a common theme among malt(ed milk) balls in my opinion.

After talking them up, allow me to knock Whoppers down a peg.

I don’t really like to chew on Whoppers. I feel like I immediately lose the outer flavor once I bite into the malt center. Malt is an overpowering taste. I much prefer to suck on Whoppers instead of biting them. I absolutely hate that previous sentence and didn’t want to write it, but hey, that’s how I like my Whoppers.

That being said, if you allow about ten Whoppers to melt in your mouth, the gritty texture of the ball itself starts to do a number on your tongue. This has always been my knock on them. Either you chew them and get that rock hard sugar stuck in your molars, or you suck them and get Cap’n Crunch mouth.

Still, letting them melt was the best way to really enjoy that outer “vanilla” flavor. The thing about Whoppers is that no matter the coating, the strongest taste will always be the malt itself. Just to test my theory I had a few chocolate Whoppers left over from Halloween, and it checked out. Once I chomped down it was just a maltfest.

And while I prefer not to chew them, I absolutely LOVE those weird chewy runt Whoppers that inevitably sneak into each batch. You guys know what I’m talking about? There are always one or two pieces that are smaller than the rest. Sometimes half the ball is caved in on itself. To me they’re like the bonus onion ring in an order of fries. I had three of those that had the texture of a Tootsie Roll and they were the MVPs of the carton.

I may have actually liked Vanilla Milkshake more than the chocolate originals. The jury is still out. They’re certainly better than those Easter Whoppers Robin’s Eggs.

Hershey should team with Burger King on these somehow, because I subliminally wanted a Whopper and a vanilla shake by the time I was done.

(Nutrition Facts – 18 pieces – 200 calories, 70 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 7 grams of sat fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 27 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.22
Size: 10 oz. carton
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Solid white chocolatey/vanilla flavor while it lasts. Super fresh malted milk ball centers. Milk carton packaging. Might be better than the original. The chewy runts of the Whopper litter.
Cons: Malt overpowers outer flavor. Scratches up tongue/roof of mouth if sucked on. Gets plastered in teeth if chewed. Gateway to wanting Burger King. Where have all the malts gone?

Candy Whoppers

REVIEW: Snickers & Hazelnut Bar

Vin / November 2, 2016 / Reviews / 8 Comments

When you think of chocolate and hazelnut, I’m sure Nutella immediately comes to mind. If not that, then surely everyone’s favorite re-gifted Christmas candy, Ferrero Rocher. But if I asked you to name something beyond that, what would you even say?

I mean sure there are fancy chocolates everywhere that feature hazelnut, but you can’t just grab one off a convenience store candy rack. That’s why I think Mars is smart to offer their Snickers & Hazelnut bar, as it fills a hole in the market you probably didn’t even realize was open. Rocher aren’t exactly sold next to the Kit Kat and Starburst at your local 7-Eleven.

That reminds me, I think I still have a rack of re-gifted Ferrero Rocher from last year that I’ll probably three-gift™ this Christmas. Nothing says “we’re not really all that close” like a plastic crate of Ferrero Rocher.

I had a fun sized regular Snickers (or nine) lying around, so I decided to stack them against the Snickers & Hazelnut Bar.

The new bar has a different flavor profile. It’s not super different, you still know it’s a Snickers, but there are definitely some dissimilarities. In regular Snickers, the peanut is probably the flavor you taste least. It provides the crunch, but can you really pinpoint peanut flavor? The hazelnut shines most here. Even mixed with the usual peanuts, it overpowers each bite. I’d go as far to say that if they went with just hazelnuts and no peanuts, the flavor might have been over the top.

Hazelnuts are pretty distinct and I tasted them more than the chocolate and caramel, which I imagine could be undesirable to some, but I quite enjoyed it. It also marries perfectly with the nougat, which I felt was more pronounced. It could have just been the bars I had, but I also thought the texture was softer than a regular Snickers.

I refuse to say it’s better than the original version, but it’s certainly not far off. Snickers are perfection. They are right up there with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups as candies that will forever rule the world. You simply can’t improve Snickers, but Mars certainly found a way to toss an almost equally delicious alternative at you.

If you are a candy purist who loves the chocolate and caramel in Snickers, you may not like the hazelnut version as much, but I still think you’ll enjoy it immensely.

Seriously, Snickers are so good, they are the only candy bar that can get away with releases where they simply add bits of another type of nut. Snickers with almond were good. Snickers with mixed nuts were better. I’m anxiously awaiting the Snickers & Macadamia Bar. Snickers & Cashew would probably be great. What about Snickers & Pecan? Snickers & Filbert? I’m not sure I even know what a filbert is, but bring it on.

And in case you’re wondering, Snickers & Hazelnut tastes better than a crispy Ferrero Rocher. Give me a few of these for Christmas instead and I won’t have to feign my appreciation. You won’t have to shell out as much cash for the “decadence” of fancy gold foil.

So if you’re hungry, why wait? You probably shouldn’t wait.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 240 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: 78 cents
Size: 1.76 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Hazelnut is the star of the show. Nougat tastes more pronounced. Slightly softer texture than regular Snickers. Snickers branching out with more nut varieties. Three-gifting™.
Cons: Chocolate and caramel flavors not quite as strong. The lack of “easy” chocolate and hazelnut candy bars. Lazy Ferrero Rocher gifters. Why aren’t Nutella candy bars in every store?

Candy Mars Snickers

REVIEW: Limited Edition Twix White

Vin / October 18, 2016 / Reviews / 11 Comments

I think the Walmart cashier was flirting with me when I bought this new Twix White. She smiled and made a little joke that I’m “not supposed to eat white after Labor Day.”

That’s actually what she said.

While I applaud her for not being a total mope, and while I did give her a courtesy laugh, that didn’t stop me from gazing at the self-service registers longingly.

I’d made my first blunder of the day; hopefully Twix White wouldn’t be the second.

Twix, which everyone knows stands for “Twiggy Sticks” have been available in the U.S. since 1969. Outside of a previous limited run in 2005, the white chocolate variety hasn’t been available until now. Just don’t get too attached, because these are also labeled “Limited Edition.”

The latest Twix commercials have informed me I’m supposed to pick a winner between the Right Twix bar and the Left Twix bar, so I ate them with that in mind.

Upon opening the package and taking a big whiff that basically smelled like nothing, I opted to go with the Left Twix cookie first. Yes, Twix insists on referring to itself as a “cookie” instead of a “candy bar,” which for some reason bugs me to no end. You’re a candy bar, Twix. Own it.

The texture of the Left Twix was exactly as I expected — perfect. Twix is one of my favorite candies texture wise, because of the delicious and easy to chew layer of caramel. I never have to worry about it getting stuck to my teeth because it immediately mixes with the crunchy cookie center and the outer chocolate so well.

The White Chocolate coating had a standard white chocolate flavor I’d tasted in the past, but it was actually milder than I expected. Without that instant punch of chocolate, I feel like I definitely tasted the cookie and caramel a lot more here than with a normal Twix.

This might sound crazy, but between the caramel, the cookie, and the mild white chocolate, there was a slight saltiness in each bite. The white chocolate’s sweetness didn’t really shine through until the very end, and the aftertaste was still pretty weak.

I’m not sure white chocolate, especially the kind used here, has enough flavor to carry a Twix bar. I guess I like my white chocolate to be overly sweet. I’m talking “have two bites then take a break” sweet. There isn’t as perfect a marriage of flavors here like there is in a regular Twix. Overall, I found the Left Twix to be pretty boring.

The Right Twix however was in-cred-ible! Wow! I don’t know what they’re doing over at Right Twix, but good lord was this “cookie” fantastic!

I’m just kidding. Those commercial are dumb. They tasted exactly the same — boring.

It’s a shame too, because this was one of the freshest Twix I’d had in a long time. Not since Mo, Sol, or Lem stole George Costanza’s Twix from that car dealership vending machine have I had a Twix this fresh, and I eat a lot of em. I already bought a bag of Mini Twix to give out to trick or treaters on Halloween. The bag won’t survive beyond October 25th. Believe me.

While these weren’t a huge hit for me, I do appreciate this slow burning trend of white chocolate-izing our favorite candy bars, and I really hope it continues until there are none left.

In the end, Twix White pales in comparison to regular Twix.

I’d appreciate a courtesy laugh for that one.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 230 calories, 110 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 22 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: 78 cents
Size: 1.62 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Great texture. The never failing Twix caramel. White chocolate-izing our favorite candy bars. The underrated Seinfeld episode I referenced. Well meaning cashiers. Great price.
Cons: Mild white chocolate. Twix not actually standing for “Twiggy Sticks.” Stupid ads. Twix shunning its candy bar heritage. Finishing the Halloween candy before Halloween. Courtesy laughs.

Candy Twix