REVIEW: Cap’n Crunch’s Birthday Crunch Cereal

What is it?

Despite looking older than his age for several decades now, Cap’n Crunch is turning 60 this year, and as such, he has made himself a celebratory birthday cake-flavored cereal. What, you don’t make your own birthday dessert? Well, LOOK AT YOU, Mr. I-Actually-Have-Friends-and-Family-Who-Love-Me.

How are they?

Distinctly birthday cake-y. What is “birthday cake” flavor, anyway? Generic vanilla sugar cake? Anyway, the Cap’n manages to capture the flavor admirably with his multi-colored misshaped balls. If I had one complaint, it would be that the flavor is a bit muted; if a full-on grade school birthday party cake is a 10, these were about a 5. Depending on your love for birthday cake flavor, this is either a good or bad thing.

Anything else you need to know?

As mentioned above, this cereal is entirely composed of multi-colored, oddly shaped balls. There are no yellow pillows (barrels?) or brightly and solidly colored “berries.” File this under “mildly interesting.”

Also, it appears from the picture on the box that the irregularly shaped pieces are supposed to be singularly colored; maybe the dye wasn’t set when my box was packed because what I ended up with looks like a hippie’s shirt closet.

Conclusion:

If you like birthday cake-flavored things and Cap’n Crunch, you will likely enjoy this version of the Quaker classic. Just try not to get hung up on the fact that the 60-year-old Cap’n has no one who cares enough to make him a cake.

Purchased Price: $4.78
Size: 14.8 oz
Purchased at: Hy-Vee
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (38 g) 150 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugar (including 14 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolate Caramel Crunch Cereal

Cap n Crunch s Chocolate Caramel Crunch Cereal Box

What is Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolate Caramel Crunch?

Everyone’s favorite sea-based military cereal mascot is back with his newest flavor since 2019’s less-than-stellar “Cotton Candy” offering. This time, he’s bringing chocolate to the high seas (which he has done multiple times in the past), but pairing it with caramel, which, to the best of my research, is a flavor he has never attempted, ever.

How is it?

Cap n Crunch s Chocolate Caramel Crunch Cereal Dry

Not bad at all!

I can’t recall if I’ve ever had any of the previous chocolate varieties the Cap’n has offered, but this one starts off with a mild cocoa aroma and taste, and then BOOM, you’re in Caramel City. The caramel even makes it chew differently, with a bit more stickiness than standard Crunch Berries. There are light undertones of butter and salt, giving the whole affair a bit more complexity than you might expect from the wild-eyed, possibly-deranged sugar peddler of the sea.

Cap n Crunch s Chocolate Caramel Crunch Cereal Spoon

Anything else you need to know?

According to Wikipedia, there have been 30 or more varieties of Cap’n Crunch since Pamela Low developed the original in 1963, and of those 30+, only a handful have become regular offerings. So if you try this and like it, buy enough to make a strong impression, lest this version goes the way of Mystery Volcano Crunch, Deep Sea Crunch, Punch Crunch, Vanilly Crunch, or Galactic Crunch.

Conclusion:

Cap’n Crunch Chocolate Caramel Crunch is an insane amount of Cs for any one product. It also feels like one too many “crunches.” Even still, it’s a fine addition to the fleet. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to this fascinating Cap’n Crunch Wikipedia entry. (Did you know that “Captain Crunch Adams” was a short story character created in the 1940s by Allan Burns, who later created The Mary Tyler Moore Show and The Munsters? Or that cereal developer Pamela Low also had a hand in developing Heath, Mounds, and Almond Joy?)

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size:11.8 ox box
Purchased at: Hy-Vee
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 150 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein

REVIEW: Smartfood Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries Popcorn Mix

Smartfood Cap n Crunch s Crunch Berries Popcorn Mix Bag

When I first heard about Smartfood’s Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries Popcorn Mix, I thought, “Why isn’t there a Cap’n Crunch Kettle Corn Mix?”

But after putting more thought than anyone should about the idea, I realized, “Do I REALLY want popcorn kernel hulls lodged into whatever scratches are made by the Cap’n Crunch cereal?”

Nope.

This less hurtful snack combines Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries from Quaker, owned by PepsiCo, with berry-flavored popcorn from Smartfood, also owned by PepsiCo. Because of the added kernel seasoning, it would be difficult to recreate this combo after its limited time is up with merely a bag of plain microwave popcorn and box of Oops All Berries.

But this is tasty enough that it should come back, or be a permanent addition to the Smartfood lineup.

Smartfood Cap n Crunch s Crunch Berries Popcorn Mix Bag Closeup

Sadly, the popcorn itself isn’t colored like rainbow popcorn. Instead, at a quick glance, they look like plain popcorn. But there is a seasoning layer that makes the popped kernels look like they spent some time suntanning on the deck of the S.S. Guppy. That coating provides a noticeable amount of berry flavor and light saltiness. But it’s not enough to make the popcorn alone a satisfying snack or a product that should be added to the Smartfood lineup.

The Crunch Berries amp up the berry flavor to a level you’d get if you were, well, eating Crunch Berries cereal. I know. It’s a little anticlimactic. Maybe if I rephrase it with ship-speak? The cereal’s flavor hits the bow, stem, port, and starboard sides of my tongue full steam ahead with berry. It’s berry good.

While I find this snack to be wonderful, there is a minor, but correctable issue. When I first started eating it by blindly grabbing some from its bag, I’d feel for the cereal pieces and then feel for some popcorn before pulling out my hand. But almost every time, my fingers would pull out only popcorn. I guess the cereal piece I felt for slipped away somehow. Or I might have the worst luck or useless fingers. But being able to see the cereal pieces, pick one up, and then grab some popcorn helped tremendously.

While Smartfood Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries Popcorn Mix tastes pretty much like Crunch Berries, I did love having the two crunchy textures of popcorn and cereal at the same time in my mouth. Yes, this does seem like an odd combination, but I’m happy to report it works well.

DISCLOSURE: I received free samples of the product. (Thanks, PepsiCo!) Doing so did not influence my review, although it totally seems like it. But I assure you it did not.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 6 1/4 oz bag
Purchased at: Received from PepsiCo
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 3/4 cups) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cap’n Crunch’s Cotton Candy Crunch Cereal

Cap n Crunch s Cotton Candy Crunch Cereal

Cap’n Crunch’s Cotton Candy Crunch Cereal is a mystery to me, and a tongue twister.

After peeling open the box, my nostrils got a whiff of cotton candy that made me curse the bag in my way I had to open to get to that sweet cotton candy flavor in cereal form. But when I opened the bag and tried to Hoover a stronger scent up my nose, all I got was a dull sweet smell that doesn’t make me think of carnivals, fairs, and birthday parties for kids whose parents were richer than mine.

What’s even more disappointing is, when I eat it dry or wet, cotton candy flavor isn’t something I get. Instead, I taste something I’d consider to be Diet Crunchberries, which is a very light berry-like flavor that doesn’t make me think of Ferris wheels, games designed to be almost impossible to win, or rides that aren’t as scary as the natural disasters they’re named after, like Typhoon, Hurricane, and Tornado.

Cap n Crunch s Cotton Candy Crunch Cereal Closeup

It’s not entirely devoid of anything that tastes like those sugary clouds. There are moments, after finishing a bowl, that my taste buds will register something they consider to be “cotton candy.” But it’s fleeting and several minutes past when the flavor should’ve been there.

I expected it to be as if someone bigger and stronger than me used my body as a cotton candy stick and twirled me around the cotton candy maker, wrapping the sugar treat around my head. And when I’m pulled out, I look like a troll doll eating its hair. Sure, it’s a lofty ideal, but I’ve eaten half the box and I’ve experienced nothing that’s even a fraction of that.

Cap’n Crunch’s Cotton Candy Crunch Cereal confuses me. It also taunts me. Every time I pass by the box sitting on my kitchen counter, I can smell that familiar aroma of spun sugar. It’s as if the smell is the cereal’s way of saying to me, “I promise I’ll taste like cotton candy this time.”

But when I give in by opening the bag, it’s a different smell, and when I give in some more by crunching my way through another bowl, I don’t get any cotton candy flavor. Am I imagining the aroma? Am I going crazy? Am I in the Twilight Zone?

Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 11.4 oz. box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/4 cup – cereal only) 150 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 1 gram of sugar alcohol, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolate Berry Crunch Cereal

Limited Edition Cap n Crunch s Chocolatey Berry Crunch Cereal

What is Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolate Berry Crunch?

It’s Cap’n Crunch’s newest creation and ode to Valentine’s Day – Chocolate Berry Crunch. According to the box, this cereal is “decadence – if you like the taste of chocolate – Love. This. Crunch.” Combining the Cap’n’s classic red crunch berries with a choco-fied version of his usual yellow lined rectangles, this is a cereal that wants to lure you seductively into its milky bowl.

How is it?

Limited Edition Cap n Crunch s Chocolatey Berry Crunch Cereal 2

Truth be told it’s not nearly as sexy as the Cap’n wants us to think, but it’s also far from bad. The leading flavor is the very familiar nondescript fruit and sugary pop of red crunch berries, which comes along with a solid fluffy yet firm texture that soaks pretty easily in milk.

The chocolate pieces seem to be outweighed by the berries at around a 1-to-3 ratio, being much less dominant in most bites. The pieces themselves carry a mild cocoa flavor without any bitterness or sharp notes like in Cocoa Puffs. A little chocolate comes through the berry-forward mix, but even on spoonfuls of mostly crunchy rectangles, the chocolate is gentle, almost to a fault.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Limited Edition Cap n Crunch s Chocolatey Berry Crunch Cereal 3

The chocolate pieces stay firmer and soak up less milk than the berries, which towards the bottom of the bowl creates an interesting textural contrast. I also noticed that the leftover dairy carried a more chocolaty flavor than most of the eating experience, which made for a nice finish.

Conclusion:

This is a tasty cereal that falls right in line with the things most people love and expect from Cap’n Crunch, but it isn’t anything super new or groundbreaking you need to rush out and get before some new version of the Cap lines the shelves.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12.5 oz. box
Purchased at:
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3/4 cup) 100 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 0grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.