Tag: Crackers

REVIEW: Nabisco Wheat Thins (Spicy Buffalo and Zesty Salsa)

Marvo 3 Comments

Wheat Thins (Spicy Buffalo & Zesty Salsa)

I think it’s safe to say Nabisco Triscuits crackers are for refined palates, while Nabisco Wheat Thins crackers are for unrefined palates, and Nabisco Premium crackers are for nauseated palates.

Triscuit comes in flavors that sound like they were conceived by a food snob wearing a top hat and monocle. These flavors include Rye with Caraway Seeds; Rosemary and Olive Oil; and Dill, Sea Salt & Olive Oil. Even the name Triscuit sounds snobby.

Don’t believe me?

Say “Triscuit” with a French accent.

Do you believe me now?

On the other hand, Wheat Thins varieties, like their new Spicy Buffalo and Zesty Salsa, sound like flavors you might find on a Chili’s/Applebee’s/T.G.I. Friday’s menu.

These two new Wheat Thins flavors follow last year’s Smoky BBQ and Sweet Cinnamon. At the rate Nabisco is burning through adjectives, I’m expecting fruity, herbal, earthy, and umami Wheat Thins varieties in the next two or three years.

Wheat Thins (Spicy Buffalo & Zesty Salsa) Closeup

Spicy Buffalo Wheat Thins have a slightly menacing orange hue on one side, which make them look like they shared a BOGO spray tan offer with Snooki. Since only one side is seasoned, I’d recommend eating each cracker with the flavor side down. Once you start chomping, you’ll instantly taste the familiar flavor of buffalo wing sauce. It’s not a powerful buffalo wing flavor, but it’s definitely noticeable and delicious.

In order to recreate buffalo wing sauce in dry form, these Wheat Thins are seasoned with a combination of cayenne pepper sauce, garlic powder, and tomato powder. Eating these Spicy Buffalo Wheat Thins will create a very slight burn in your mouth, so have your Ranch Wheat Thins handy to cool it down.

As for Zesty Salsa Wheat Thins, they smell and taste like someone took a bag of regular Wheat Thins dumped chili powder into it and shook it. Okay, the way I just described them make them sound like they aren’t good, but they are good in the sense that, if there weren’t any Spicy Buffalo Wheat Thins around, I wouldn’t object to eating them.

The seasoned side of the Zesty Salsa Wheat Thins have a combination of dried green bell peppers and salt, so they look like leprechaun magic was cast upon them. As I said before, they taste like they were seasoned with chili powder. There’s also a slight sweetness to them, but I wouldn’t consider their flavor to be salsa-like. However, they are good and if your local store doesn’t have the Spicy Buffalo flavor, these Zesty Salsa Wheat Thins would be a good substitute.

Overall, the Spicy Buffalo and Zesty Salsa Wheat Thins are two great additions to the Wheat Thins lineup and will satisfy any unrefined palate.

(Nutrition Facts – Spicy Buffalo – 14 pieces – 140 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 90 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Zesty Salsa – 15 pieces – 140 calories, 50 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 105 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Spicy Buffalo and Zesty Salsa Wheat Thins reviews:
Junk Food Guy (Spicy Buffalo)
Junk Food Guy (Zesty Salsa)

Item: Nabisco Wheat Thins (Spicy Buffalo and Zesty Salsa)
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 9 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Spicy Buffalo)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Zesty Salsa)
Pros: Crunchy tasty goodness. Great for unrefined palates. Spicy Buffalo has that familiar buffalo wing sauce flavor. Leprechaun magic. BOGO offers. Premium crackers great for nauseated palates.
Cons: Zesty Salsa is not really salsa-like. Zesty Salsa not as good as Spicy Buffalo. Bad for refined palates. Snobby crackers. Saying “Triscuit” in a French accent. Nabisco is running out of adjective to use to name new flavors.

REVIEW: Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit

Marvo 14 Comments

Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit

Remember a few weeks ago when New York Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin took the NBA world by storm, creating the phenomenon known as Linsanity and the neologisms that soon followed, like Linspiration, Linderella, Linvincible, and Lincredible.

Well, there’s a dillicious baked whole grain wheat cracker that has caused a dillirious frenzy in the snack world. What snack has caused this dillirium? Why it’s the dillectable Triscuit Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil.

Look at how easy it is to come up with a bunch of made up words using “dill.” It’s not dillficult. BOOM! I did it again. It’s so simple I’m surprised Nabisco didn’t use one and put it on the Triscuit Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil box, not even “dillicious.” They only put boring words and phrases, like “100% Whole Grain”, “Good Source of Dietary Fiber”, and “May Help Reduce the Risk of Heart Disease.”

I wonder if avoiding neologisms was dilliberate. BAM! I am a verbal machine that dillivers! Oh snap! You can’t stop me, you can only hope to contain me!

To be honest, I’m surprised I put this box of Triscuit into my shopping cart because I’ve never really cared for them. I’ve always considered Triscuit crackers to be “not Wheat Thins” or “shredded wheat cereal rejects.” However, the combination of dill, sea salt, and olive oil compelled me to get over my Triscuit bias.

On the back of the Triscuit Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil box, there are two suggested topping recipes, smoked salmon & dill and tangy greek. The box also says what wine would go well with these hors d’oeuvre. (Pinot Grigio, in case you were wondering.) Well, I recommend you avoid the topping and wine suggestions and just open the bag of Triscuit, stick your paw in the bag, pull out a handful of crackers, and stuff them into your mouth, because, just like women on a European beach, they’re quite wonderful topless.

Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit Closeup

Each woven whole grain soft white winter wheat cracker has noticeable specks of dill, and after I ate a couple I started seeing the sea salt granules build up on my fingers. A wonderful sour dill flavor, which kind of reminded me of pickles, was all I could taste when I put this cracker in between my food mashers. However, after several chews, the dill dissipated and was replaced by the garlic and onion powder added to the cracker. Also, at this time, the sea salt was slightly noticeable. But I really wish the dill flavor hung around longer.

Overall, the Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit crackers are a satisfying crunchy snack and I think they’ve helped me get over my Triscuit bias. They are dillightful and Lincredible.

(Nutrition Facts – 6 crackers – 120 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 110 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Other Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit reviews:
Junk Food Guy

Item: Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit
Price: $3.00
Size: 9 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful dill flavor. Crunchy. 22 grams of whole grain per serving. Reminds me of pickles. Decent source of fiber. Doesn’t need toppings. My ability to coin new words using “dill.”
Cons: Dill flavor needs to hang around longer. Putting smoked salmon on a Triscuit. My Triscuit bias. My ability to coin new words using “dill” since I’ll probably only use it for this review.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon

Drew 8 Comments

Limited Edition Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon Crackers Box

Ah, crackers.

For some reason I always find it hard starting off a cracker review. Maybe it’s because crackers aren’t a very sexy food. Candy is sexy. Fruit can be very sexy. Ice cream? Ice cream is definitely sexy, which is ironic since eating a lot of it will have the opposite effect on you. But crackers are not sexy. Nobody has ever eaten crackers off someone’s naked body, and if they have, I don’t want to know about it.

But hey, it can’t all be fast food and desserts — at some point you’ve got to devote some time to the staples, the unsung members of the snack world. And if that snack knows it isn’t glamorous but has gone to the trouble of decking itself out in sweet cinnamon for the holidays to make a good impression on your visiting relatives? Well, that says a lot. Be honest, ladies: what impresses you more, the guy who’s naturally gorgeous, or the one who goes out of his way to clean up, dress up, and put his best foot forward? Exactly. Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon are the homely guy who knows he doesn’t stand a chance with you, but dammit, he’s going to give it his best shot anyway. You’ve got to admire that.

Mind you, I do like regular Wheat Thins, but I’m used to eating them as little sandwiches with cheese and/or pepperoni slices in between. It’s rare that I’ll eat straight from a box of Wheat Thins, but that’s what seems most appropriate here, since neither cheese nor meat makes for a natural combination with cinnamon. I would guess that’s why these are limited edition for the holidays, since they lose a little bit of their versatility for party settings, where you’re more likely to want to make cracker sandwiches. However, what the cinnamon Wheat Thins lose in party food-ability, they gain back in solo use. After all, you’re more likely to dig into a box of something on the couch if it’s sweet and can be enjoyed straight out of the package, without needing to cut cheese slices or get out the platter and martini glasses, or whatever people without two young kids do at parties these days. (Network? Spin the bottle? Get crunk? I just don’t know.)

It’s fair to say my expectations were pretty high for this product, because let’s be honest, cinnamon is awesome and it’s pretty hard to screw up sprinkling it on a cracker. That’d be like praising me for writing a review that successfully uses the word “ass” three times… it’s just kind of expected. Plus the snowman on the box predisposes me to wanting to like whatever’s inside, a tactic the government would do well to remember when issuing jury summons. With all that being the case, my takeaway is that the cinnamon Wheat Thins are pleasant, and that’s probably the correct adjective. Not “amazing” or “mind-blowing” or “pulchritudinous,” but pleasant. A nice winter treat that would probably pair well with some hot chocolate while snuggled up with a loved one, watching Jimmy Stewart tough-talk an angel on Christmas.

[As an aside, do you know how hard it is to type “thins” rather than “things”? Your fingers just want to add that “g”. Try it!]

Limited Edition Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon Crackers Closeup

You’re familiar with what you’re going to get if you’ve ever had Wheat Thins before, because the size, consistency, and texture are the same as they’ve always been, the only difference being the addition of cinnamon and sugar. Speaking of which, I suspect this will be a polarizing product based on the amount of cinnamon per cracker. It’s not insignificant — no one will confuse these with having a “hint of” cinnamon. That said, they aren’t comprised solely of cinnamon and sugar pressurized and molded into the vague shape of a Wheat Thin either. I personally found them tasty and think most people will as well, but anyone hoping these would equate to a slightly larger version of Cinnamon Toast Crunch is advised to keep walking. (However, I did dip some in milk, just out of curiosity. Not bad, but not something you’d want to eat out of a bowl with a spoon.)

Like a lot of you would have guessed, Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon is a product that offers zero surprises. It’s exactly what the name implies it to be, and it looks and tastes exactly how you’d expect. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing, though — the crackers ARE tasty, and they’re a safe snack food you can enjoy equally with friends or home alone in your pajamas. (Those of you who wear them, anyway. I know our readers like to walk on the wild side.) If snack foods were an ’80s movie, they’d be the quiet nerd who never gets noticed until finally the stars align and Molly Ringwald takes a chance on him, only to discover that, hey, this guy’s got a little spice to him! That’s Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon. Enjoy them, and enjoy the holiday season!

(Nutrition Facts – 14 pieces – 140 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon
Price: $2.99
Size: 9.5 ounces
Purchased at: Wegman’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Reasonably nutritious. Snowman on box. Homely crackers who doll themselves up for you. Can be readily enjoyed solo. Unsurprising but pleasant taste. Decent in milk. Nabbing Molly Ringwald at the end.
Cons: Not bringing sexy back to crackers. No good for making mini-sandwiches. Doesn’t keep you guessing. Not an effective breakfast cereal replacement. Probably not enough cinnamon and sugar for some people.

REVIEW: Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar

Kelley 15 Comments

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar

I can’t think of sandwich crackers without thinking of grade school day care. Unnaturally bright neon orange crackers with some sort of peanut-related substance smeared in between. I’m sure they don’t serve those anymore, since some kid named Billy who eats his boogers has a peanut allergy so severe that just being in the same room with something that barely qualifies as peanut butter sends him into anaphylactic shock. Kids are such sissies these days.

I’m also pretty sure I haven’t had sandwich crackers since those grade school days. I think time has shown that I’ll eat some pretty juvenile shit – I was about to write that I’d eat Dunkaroos if they still existed, but Google just told me they do, so now I’m conflicted – but there’s something about sandwich crackers that makes me wince. Perhaps there’s a deep-seated feeling of abandonment caused by having to go to day care after school. More likely it’s that my friends and I used to scrape all the peanut butter out of the sandwiches and use it like a greasy substitute for Play-Doh. I once made the perfect sculpture of a nose. It was the pinnacle of my artistic career.

These Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar aren’t sandwich crackers, however. These are filled crackers. At least, according to Ritz, that’s what they are. But I can see through Ritz’s facade. Look at that packaging. The cracker looks like it’s sitting on a pristine marble countertop. The “k” in “Crackerfuls” is sprouting a stalk of wheat from its head, presumably indicating that it is natural or healthy. And yet, for the menfolk, it is made clear that there is 75% more filling, so nobody will make fun of you for eating wimpy, under-filled sandwich crackers. I mean, filled crackers. No, I mean sandwich crackers.

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar Package

In size, they certainly aren’t your kids’ crackers, coming in at 4.5 inches long by 2 inches wide, with a generous amount of filling. I’d say almost too generous, but the ratio of cheese-to-cracker is just about right, although the cheese does squish out the sides when you bite down, making for a less than tidy snack.

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar Crackers

The crackers have a pleasant buttery taste, just like regular Ritz, but they aren’t flaky and are much more sturdy, helping to compensate for the heft of the filling. The cheese, when tasted by itself, has a bit of a grainy feel to it, but when eaten as a sandwich, the cracker seems to cover that up. The cheese has the consistency of a soft cheese spread (hence the squishing out the sides).

It also tastes a lot like a processed cheese spread, which is my biggest complaint. Ritz seems to be marketing these crackers to a more adult market, and while the cracker is quite tasty, the cheese filling tastes too artificial for most adult palates. I still eat cheese-in-a-can, but I’m not exactly “normal”. I also think the cheese is too soft; most adults don’t want cheese spread squishing out everywhere, and the consistency adds to the feeling that you’re definitely not ingesting actual cheese.

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar Innards

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar filled crackers seem caught between two demographics. Too large for a child’s snack and lacking the flashy packaging that would make a kid scream at their parent until it wound up in the shopping cart, and yet too unrefined and artificial-tasting to appeal to most adults, who would probably take the individually-wrapped sandwiches to work and then find themselves embarrassed to be wiping processed cheese spread off their faces. Ritz got the cracker right, but the cheese all wrong, and with 75 percent more of it, that just makes that downfall more obvious.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack – 190 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of total fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 4 gram of monounsaturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 300 milligrams of sodium, 70 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugars, 2 grams of protein, 0% vitamin A, 0% vitamin C, 6% calcium, and 4% iron.)

Item: Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar
Price: $3.29
Size: 5 filled crackers
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Crackers were buttery and held together well. Using peanut butter as a substitute for Play-Doh. Sandwich was large enough for an adult snack. The opportunity to watch a co-worker eat a messy sandwich cracker.
Cons: Cheese tasted too processed. Kids screaming for junk food at the grocery store. Cheese was too soft and messy. Being that adult eating a messy sandwich cracker.

REVIEW: Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ

Jeff 4 Comments

Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ

Man, I love bourbon. That slow burn that creeps down your throat, when it’s so acrid you can taste the Southern anger. Mmmmmmmm! Dessert is a maraschino cherry topped in a Manhattan and breakfast is black coffee with two fingers of Maker’s. My liver says otherwise, but there is nothing like sitting in a chaise lounge with your striped pajamas on, The Weather Channel’s Storm Stories on the flatscreen and a rocks glass with some heat. I keep hoping to see Jim Cantore shoot up like that cow did in Twister.

And always accompanying my vice is that recognizable yellow box of Wheat Thins. For as long as I can remember, Wheat Thins slathered with supermarket onion dip or a gummy block of cheap Monterey Jack cheese has always been my drunk eats. Bourbon and Wheat Thins are like peanut butter and jelly to me. I love my bourbon and I love my Wheat Thins. Making me decide between either is like asking who would I choose, saving my wife or my collection of Morrissey albums from Ragnarock (neither, I would choose my bourbon).

One note, if you hate Wheat Thins…you can stop reading. This product will not change your mind. And if you hate Wheat Thins, you need to do a self-evaluation since there are more important things to hate than a snack.

I was very surprised when I walked in from the awful day of work and noticed a box of Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ crackers on the counter that my wife bought me. Now I have never been a big fan of the flavored Wheat Thins because I have a rule, why mess with perfection unless it includes a hand shandy? Looking at the box, coupled with my recent behavior of “drinking too much” (as if there is such a thing), I knew I was not getting either.

Defeated, I grabbed the box and sighed. I was leery of them because it seems like every snack has some version of BBQ flavor. So I took off my jacket and tossed it on my stained ottoman. Loosening my collar and tie, I folded my sleeves 50’s dad style and walked over to my wet bar. I grabbed a glass and poured a couple of shots of hello dolly.

After a swallow or two or five, I returned to the box and decided to give them a chance. The box promises a whole 10 grams of whole grain per serving which is fine and dandy, but I was more interested in the taste.

Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ Closeup

The crackers had that recognizable square shape and a very faint orange-red shade versus the mustardy brown color of Wheat Thins. They smelled like the normal ones, toasted grains and wheat.

Wow! The sweetness was a wonderful contrast to the subtle smoke (as the ingredients list natural smoke flavoring). The smokiness was a punch of garlic and onion. The sweet taste was definitely from the tomato powder used and let me tell you, it was “sucking on a ketchup packet” good. I know you readers out there suck on ketchup packets when no one is looking. It is okay, I won’t tell anyone. As long as you ignore that everyone’s hands have probably molested the hell out of those things, you’re in for a good time normally.

Anyhow getting back to the Wheat Thins, the sweet flavor is not candy sweet nor is it a heavy syrupy sweet. It may not appeal to everyone, but I loved it. I can’t think of anything close to the flavor because while it is similar to other barbecue chips, it has its own character. The Smoky BBQ deserves a try at the very least.

I thought these were damn-o-riffic! The barbecue flavor wasn’t that fakey sugary musk that cheap BBQ potato chips have. I also wouldn’t say it was savory like umami (what an overused term that I now have partaken in) but the taste was close to that sweet and savory thing we all love. It’s similar to Kansas City style barbecue, heavy on the tomato paste and sweeter than other barbecue sauces. After eating more than I should, the flavor was never tiring. Now make sure you have something to drink, the crackers can get a bit salty if you eat too many.

Snacking on these alone are perfect enough but if you want to change it up a bit, an aged white cheddar or some other mild tasting milky cheese would absolutely work. I think brie or even a tub of cream cheese would be a fine accompaniment which would mellow some of the BBQ flavor. A box of Silk Cut ciggies would do the same, but smoking and eating at the same time is gross.

I ate so many that half a box was left after I went to town on them and didn’t care how awful I looked with my joe boxers (those smiley face ones), black socks and a stained white T-shirt.

I have to admit, Wheat Thins BBQ Thins don’t mix well with bourbon but I doubt many of you will be drinking that while eating them. I went ahead and brushed the crumbs off my shirt and onto my lap. I drained my glass after I was rebuffed by the wife again and took comfort knowing that I could place my paws all over the Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ. Yum Yum Yum.

(Nutritional Facts — 14 crackers — 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 65 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ
Price: $3.99
Size: 9.5 ounces
Purchased: Publix
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Unique and great addictive barbecue taste. You will not get tired of the flavor. Morrissey. That scene when the cow shoots up rocket style in Twister, man I still laugh pretty hard. The barbecue taste is not fake tasting. Pink Floyd’s Ummagumma.
Cons: It may be a bit too sweet for other people’s taste. If you dislike Wheat Thins, do not bother. Can be a bit salty. Helen Hunt’s forehead, it’s so big I can scrawl another face on it. Jim Cantore’s delivery. The word Umami.