Tag: Dairy Queen

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Royal Reese’s Brownie Blizzard

Joe 4 Comments

Dairy Queen Royal Reese s Brownie Blizzard

In the interest of full disclosure:

  • The true answer to The Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is not 42, it is in fact, peanut butter.
  • Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are the George Washington of the Candy Mount Rushmore.
  • Brownies make cake their bitch.

That should put in perspective how excited I was for the latest Royal Blizzard, and why I hope you heed my warning. Dairy Queen took the awesome Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard, tossed in average brownie pieces, and added a glob of what I can only imagine Mr. Peanut’s excrement must taste like — an incredibly cheap, artificial tasting peanut butter that is salty enough to make a 60’s Star Trek salt vampire reach for a glass of water.

The Blizzard certainly makes a good first impression with both peanut butter cups and brownie pieces giving you their best come hither from the top of the vanilla soft serve. When isolated, the brownie has a slight fudgy quality but is unremarkable in every way.

Dairy Queen Royal Reese s Brownie Blizzard 2

The Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are perfection incarnate as always, but the peanut butter core is nothing like the uniform comet shape shown online. Instead, a glob of the creamed legume rested just beneath the surface. This ended up being a blessing in disguise as, to put it bluntly, the poor distribution prevented it from entirely ruining the rest of the treat. A Reese’s-only bite is outstanding, but that entirely defeats the purpose of this Royal Blizzard.

Dairy Queen Royal Reese s Brownie Blizzard 3

Be aware that while this is the October 2017 Blizzard of The Month, it has been consistently on the menu for a few months now. Regardless, don’t waste your time or extra pocket change on this one, just go with the classic Reese’s only Blizzard and BYOPB (and who doesn’t?) if you really want to add a core.

Purchased Price: $3.79
Size: Small
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small) 850 calories, 370 calories from fat, 41 grams of fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 560 milligrams of sodium, 105 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 83 grams of sugar, and 19 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Pumpkin Pie Blizzard

Joe 4 Comments

Dairy Queen Pumpkin Pie Blizzard

While I love all things fall, I am not amongst the crowd that mainlines PSL by day and does lines of pumpkin spice out of a hollowed out Jack-o’-lantern by night. That said, I do consider pumpkin pie itself to be a pillar of the season.

Dairy Queen seems to agree as the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard rises from the most sincere DQ pumpkin patch around this time every year. Having enjoyed this Blizzard in the past did not diminish my delight at the sight of a spice covered mountain of whipped cream thrusting far above the confines of its container.

This isn’t merely the subconscious overcompensation of the Blizzardista though, as a spoonful of the plentiful whipped cream, pie filling, and crust is integral to capturing the flavor of the genuine article.

The first bite immediately and boldly declares that this is pumpkin pie ice cream. It’s not as deep or as true to the flavor as I find in the likes of Talenti’s Pumpkin Pie Gelato for example, but that is comparing apples to pumpkins and this Blizzard more than captures the essence of its namesake. The only trick this treat plays is leaving the cinnamon notes more ghostly than corporeal, especially when the crust comes into play.

Dairy Queen Pumpkin Pie Blizzard 3

I don’t know what dark pact DQ made to prevent the pie crust pieces from becoming soggy, but it was worth every drop of blood. While lacking a tad in flavor, they remain uniformly crunchy and plentiful from the first bite to the last and add a needed textural contrast.

Dairy Queen Pumpkin Pie Blizzard 2

Despite not being my favorite Blizzard, I find myself looking forward to Dairy Queen’s take on pumpkin pie as a herald of fall while the weather still warrants a frozen dessert. If your homemade recipe is more haunted house prop than delicious seasonal staple, the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard is a worthy dairy-based alternative.

Purchased Price: $0.99* (regular $2.89)
Size: Mini
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Mini) 360 calories, 120 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 41 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.

*I only paid $0.99 for mine due to DQ’s BOGO of equal or lesser value for $0.99 deal.

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen’s Best Chocolate Cake Blizzard

Joe 12 Comments

Dairy Queen s Best Chocolate Cake Blizzard

Chocolate. Ice cream. Cake.

I’m not going out on much of a limb in declaring these to be some of the best things in life. Dairy Queen apparently agrees as they have dubbed September’s Blizzard of the Month, Best Chocolate Cake. The not so humbly named treat combines chocolate cake pieces with white icing and chocolate chunks nestled inside of cocoa fudge blended vanilla soft serve.

The site of chocolate islands awash in a turbulent sea of fudge-tinged ice cream invited me to become a willing castaway. Diving in, the cocoa fudge and chocolate chunks melded into a divine experience rich enough to make Count Chocula blush. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse as soon as my spoon included one of the titular cake pieces. See, the thing about a Blizzard unabashedly named Best Chocolate Cake is that it needs to wow you with, you guessed it, the chocolate cake.

Dairy Queen s Best Chocolate Cake Blizzard 2

Instead of the promised white icing rich chocolate cake, my taste buds were met with a dull, lifeless dry husk. While providing a coarser texture than the smooth chocolate chunks and creamy base, it failed to deliver on any semblance of the word “best.” Instead, I found myself wishing that they were left out entirely. They felt like speed bumps in the middle of a chocolatey superhighway.

If the white icing exists then it lends nothing to the cake as it is completely overwhelmed by the, admittedly fantastic, chocolate flavor from the other elements. Worse yet, the cake pieces seemed to sink to the bottom and hamper the delayed gratification of the last mix-in laden bites that are typically my favorite part.

Dairy Queen s Best Chocolate Cake Blizzard 3

Cake misstep aside, I very much enjoyed the Blizzard overall. If you can look past the ill-chosen moniker, the chocolate highs were more than enough to offset the dry cake lows. I hope to see the cocoa fudge and chocolate chunks play a role in future offerings sans cake pieces which are, in fact, not the best.

Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small) 830 calories, 350 calories from fat, 39 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 1 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 310 milligrams of sodium, 111 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 89 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen M&M’s Treatzza Pizza

James 2 Comments

Dairy Queen M M s Treatzza Pizza

Released in the mid-1990s, Dairy Queen’s Treatzza Pizza was one of those decades-defining consumer events – a’la Reebok Pump shoes and the Nickelodeon Time Blaster Alarm Clock – that seemingly EVERYBODY but me got to experience back in the day.

The commercials did a five-star job explaining why the $6.99 delicacy was more than a fast food gimmick – it was literally marketed as edible pop culture and digestible ephemera. Missing out on this was like missing out on Yikes! pencils and Pop-Qwiz popcorn – absolutely unforgivable.

Since I never tried the product in my youth, I assumed I would NEVER find out if the Treatzza lived up to all the hype. So when I heard the long discontinued product was coming back, I was ecstatic.

Even now I’m not entirely sure how long the Treatzza (which came in four glorious versions – more on that in just a bit) was sold. Some sources say the thing hung around as late as 2008, but I certainly don’t remember seeing the product on sale since at least 1999 in my neck of the woods. Obviously, I can’t tell you how the relaunched Treatzza compares to the original taste-wise, but it sure as sugar passes the eye test – this thing looks EXACTLY like it magically materialized from a 1995 sales circular ad.

Dairy Queen M M s Treatzza Pizza 2

Just like in the good old days, the Treatzza comes in four permutations: one topped with Heath bar chunks, one topped with Reese’s cups, a “Choco-Brownie” one and – my personal fave – one sprinkled with diced M&M’s.

The featured iteration has a fudge cookie crunch base, vanilla soft serve as the “sauce,” and is complemented with a fine chocolate drizzle. The pie is divvied up into eight fairly consistent slices, so it’s easily enough to feed two people or provide quick snacks for at least four.

Dairy Queen M M s Treatzza Pizza 3

Naturally, the fog of nostalgia could impair my judgement, but regardless of its retro appeal this thing is just delightful. We’ve all had brownies topped with ice cream before, but the Treatzza feels like an entirely different kind of dessert. Here, the cookie, ice cream, fudge, and M&M’s merge into a delicious singularity. Conceptually it might be nothing more than an open-faced ice cream sandwich, but all the ingredients just gel into blissful, congealed harmony. It’s yummy, it’s filling, and I’d swear eating it automatically transported my taste buds back to the DQ of my youth, circa the opening night of Batman Forever.

Dairy Queen M M s Treatzza Pizza 4

Yes, it’s just a giant frozen cookie with an entire M&M’s Blizzard dumped atop it, but I suppose that’s what makes it beautiful. Considering the $10 price point and (presumably) low consumer demand – not to mention it takes up so much space in the freezer – there’s no way this one’s going to be around for more than a few months.

All I can say is try it while you can, folks – that is, unless you feel like waiting around to 2037 to get your third chance.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 slice – 200 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $9.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: The totally phat crunched up M&M’s taste both boss and fly on your tongue. The vanilla ice cream IS all that and a bag of chips. You and seven of your homeboys can share a pie while blasting a cassette tape of “Gangsta’s Paradise” on a loop for an hour in the parking lot.
Cons: The $10 price tag is inflation-tastic. The cookie crust might be a tad too hard to chew for some consumers. Wondering if this will or will not bring us one step closer to the resurrection of Dunkaroos and/or a Hootie and the Blowfish comeback.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Guardians Awesome Mix Blizzard

Tiffany 3 Comments

Dairy Queen Guardians Awesome Mix Blizzard

With the launch of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Marvel teamed up with Frito-Lay for a Doritos bag that plays music and Dairy Queen for the Guardians Awesome Mix Blizzard Treat.

I think Frito-Lay got the better end of the integration stick, even though everything about the Guardians Blizzard sounds fantastic. I mean what’s not to love about mini brookies (brownies and cookies baked together), caramel, and choco chunks blended with creamy vanilla soft serve?

Brookies are pretty frickin’ awesome! Except when you can’t really taste them.

Dairy Queen Guardians Awesome Mix Blizzard 2

I should have suspected that it would be a hodge-podge of unidentifiable sweetness when the received treat looked nothing like hero shots featuring healthy chunks of brookies. My Blizzard looked more like chocolate chip ice cream and it tasted that way. It was good, but if I wanted plain chocolate chip ice cream, I would have just gone to the supermarket for a pint.

As I continued to eat, I would occasionally get a bite of rich, delightful fudge – guessing that was from the brookie. Unfortunately, it was a fleeting delight that quickly faded back into the sugary indistinctness. I want bigger chunks, dangit! I think a brookie sundae in DQ’s Hot Desserts section would have been much more satisfying.

Dairy Queen Guardians Awesome Mix Blizzard 3

Also, I couldn’t taste the caramel. I could see the remnants lining the cup, but no warm caramel notes at all – just cloying sweetness. As the cherry on top, said sweetness was paired with a strange artificial aftertaste. I couldn’t tell if it was coming from the soft serve, the caramel, or the brookie?!

Dairy Queen Guardians Awesome Mix Blizzard 4

Even though all the mix-ins were a bit too blended for my liking, I did enjoy the texture. The soft serve was creamy and the mix-ins broke up the monotony of vanilla soft serve. I kept thinking that Cold Stone Creamery would make a killer version of this.

Don’t get me wrong. The Guardians Awesome Mix Blizzard isn’t bad. It just isn’t awesome.

(Nutrition Facts – Mini – 380 calories, 14 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 45 grams of sugar, 8 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.09
Size: Mini
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like chocolate chip ice cream. Good texture.
Cons: Hodge-podge of unidentifiable sweetness. Cloying sweetness + artificial aftertaste = Ugh.