Tag: Dannon

REVIEW: Limited Edition Dannon Light & Fit Pumpkin Pie Greek Yogurt

Marvo 3 Comments

Limited Edition Dannon Light & Fit Pumpkin Pie Greek Yogurt

If there’s a Real Housewives franchise in the yogurt world, it would be Dannon.

The yogurt has so many spin-off varieties. Not as many as The Real Housewives, because I’m pretty sure the producers of the reality show have been scraping the bottom of the Earth and have plans for The Real Housewives of Ottawa (Canada) or The Real Housewives of Butte (Montana).

With so many yogurt spin-offs, it gives Dannon the opportunity to make pumpkin pie-flavored varieties for every one of them. The company has already done one for their Oikos line and now it offers a Light & Fit Pumpkin Pie Greek Yogurt.

If I had to compare the light pumpkin pie-flavored yogurt with a Real Housewives show, it would have to be all of them. With the light yogurt and the reality show, you know what you’re going to get and it’s not for everyone. With a Real Housewives show, there’s going to be a lot of cray cray, and with the light yogurt there will be sucralose and ace-k.

Limited Edition Dannon Light & Fit Pumpkin Pie Greek Yogurt 2

For a fat-free Greek yogurt, it’s very good and pumpkin pie-ish. The use of cinnamon helps with the flavor, and I think there are cinnamon specks floating in the yogurt.

Also, even though there aren’t any other spices listed, I could taste those others you’d get in a pumpkin pie. Yes, the artificial sweeteners slapped my mouth like the Housewives do amongst each other, but that’s the reason why it’s “pumpkin pie-ish.”

Dannon’s Light & Fit Pumpkin Pie Greek Yogurt is thick, creamy, a great source of protein, and has a pleasant pumpkin pie flavor. It’s a great addition to the yogurt company’s limited edition fall flavor lineup and, like many of The Real Housewives shows, I expect to see it again next year.

Purchased Price: $1.50
Size: 5.3 oz
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 80 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 140 milligrams of potassium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

QUICK YOGURT REVIEW: Evolution Fresh Inspired by Dannon Pineapple Passion Fruit Greek Yogurt

Marvo 2 Comments

Evolution Fresh Inspired by Dannon Pineapple Passion Fruit Greek Yogurt

This yogurt has 120 calories, so this will be a 120 word review.

Instead of an evolution, perhaps the yogurt should’ve gone through several revolutions in a blender because it’s a pain to mix evenly.

The yogurt layer is unusually thick and the thin fruit layer, which has pineapple and mango purees, pineapple bits, and passion fruit juice, sticks to the bottom like half-hardened glue.

Though it contains very little passion fruit juice, the fruit makes up 90 percent of the yogurt’s flavor and aroma. Pineapple is first in name, but last in flavor. Surprisingly, it isn’t overly sweet (thanks agave) and the Greek yogurt isn’t very tart.

I liked it, but I wish it had a stronger fruity punch.

Evolution Fresh Inspired by Dannon Pineapple Passion Fruit Greek Yogurt 2

Purchased Price: $1.50
Size: 5.3 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 120 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 170 milligrams of potassium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, 12 grams of protein, and 15% calcium.

REVIEW: Dannon Activia Dessert Strawberry Cheesecake

Marvo 7 Comments

Activia Dessert Strawberry Cheesecake

(NOTE: Please don’t do this. Thank you.)

Dear YouTubers,

You know what YouTube needs? No, not more cute cat/dog/turtle humping videos.

There needs to be videos of people attempting to eat dozens of containers of Activia consecutively. I’m not talking three or four cups of Activia, I’m talking Sam’s Club-sized cases of the stuff.

Why do we need these videos? Because, currently, there isn’t any video documentation of the effects of someone eating a shit-ton of Activia.

So which one of you daring amateur internet video producers will meet this challenge for a chance at viral video history? No matter how far you get or how many pieces of furniture you might soil, you’ll be internet famous, and could possibly be featured on Web Soup, tosh.0 or the offbeat news section of the USA Today.

Not willing to put your digestive system in harm’s way, you say?

C’mon. Several of you kings and queens of consumption have done it before by trying to either down a gallon of water, chug a gallon of milk, quaff an entire bottle of tequila, guzzle a bottle of pancake syrup or drink a two liter bottle of soda. There are many more but I don’t want to make you chug down YouTube videos of folks chugging down various liquids because I want you to chug a case of Activia.

If one of you attempts this digestive endeavor, might I suggest calling the video: The Activia 14 Minute Challenge. Might I also suggest that if you get tired of eating whatever Activia flavor you end up with from Sam’s Club, you should mix it up with the Activia Desserts Strawberry Cheesecake.

Activia Dessert Strawberry Cheesecake 2

If you thought regular Activia made eating digestive bacteria taste good, then you’re going to really love cups of the Activia Desserts Strawberry Cheesecake yogurt…until you eat about a dozen of them in a row. But for the first couple of containers, you’d probably enjoy their sweet and tangy flavor, along with the smoothness of the yogurt. Although you might be disappointed that the yogurt tastes more like regular strawberry yogurt than strawberry cheesecake flavored yogurt, but it’s quite good for regular strawberry yogurt.

Why is it so good?

Because the yogurt doesn’t contain any artificial sweeteners, has real pieces of strawberries and has more sugar than a Frosted Ice Creme Sandwich Pop-Tart. So the Activia Desserts Strawberry Cheesecake yogurt is good for you because of the digestive bacteria, but it’s also bad for you because it’s like eating candy.

Activia is supposed to help with “slow intestinal transit.” But if one of you takes The Activia 14 Minute Challenge, Activia could help you reach a level of internet celebrity that’s equal or greater than the sneezing baby panda bear…and it could also help you achieve quick and violent intestinal transit.

I look forward to seeing the videos soon.

Love,
Marvo

(NOTE: Again, please don’t do this. Thank you.)

(Nutrition Facts – 1 container/4 ounces – 140 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 240 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 6 grams of protein and 20% calcium.)

Item: Dannon Activia Dessert Strawberry Cheesecake
Price: $3.00 (on sale, $3.50 reg.)
Size: 4 pack
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good if you like strawberry yogurt. Contains probiotic cultures. Contains pieces of fruit. Smooth yogurt. Good source of calcium. Sneezing baby panda bears.
Cons: Doesn’t really taste like strawberry cheesecake. Great source of sugar. Eating a case of Activia. Slow intestinal transit. Quick and violent intestinal transit.

REVIEW: Dannon Caramel Yogurt

Kayla 11 Comments

I’m simple when it comes to yogurt, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy plain yogurt. Ugh, just the site of it makes me throw up inside my mouth a little. I’m simple in the way that I don’t need my bacteria infused snack to get fancy on me, like when fruit on the bottom was the “it” thing. I didn’t enjoy that, partly because I’m such a lazy bastard and mixing up the fruit with the yogurt was too much of an effort. Then came drinkable yogurt, which surprised me that there were even lazier bastards out there who believe putting a spoon up to their lips was way too much to work.

Now we have yogurt that helps you become regular, which, again, boggles my mind. I would think Activia would make you stay irregular, because every time you would see the porcelain goddess, you would think about Jamie Lee Curtis’ bowel movement, whether it be pre-Activia Jamie Lee Curtis all bloated and bitchy or post-Activia Jamie Lee Curtis running for a toilet like she just had a feast at Senor Frog’s.

Dannon’s new Caramel Yogurt doesn’t come with a packet of caramel drizzle sauce to put on it (although that would be a good idea). It doesn’t come in a bottle that’s the size of Polly Pocket’s flask, nor does it make promises for helping you drop the kiddies off at the pool, but this old school-style yogurt doesn’t need all of the glitz and glamour. It’s a no nonsense yogurt with a sweet caramel flavor that’s pretty good.

I’m usually a Yoplait Light girl, but I occasionally indulge in a coffee flavored yogurt from Dannon. The only creepy thing about Dannon’s yogurts is the fluid that always just chills on top. I know it’s common with some yogurts, and it’s not a total phobia, but it just weirds me out a bit. Yoplait doesn’t have this phenomenon and it’s much creamier in taste and texture than Dannon’s. Plus, it has fewer calories overall, if you stick to Yoplait Light.

Dannon Caramel Yogurt has 50 more calories than most Yoplait Light varieties, but it struggles in flavor and texture. I guess I could describe Dannon’s taste as more yogurty; it has that bite that Yoplait really doesn’t have and the caramel flavor is very light. It’s almost an essence of caramel, but that doesn’t make it bad, it’s just not a true dessert type yogurt. If you’re calorie conscious and like your yogurt tasting like pudding, I would stick with the Yoplait Light. But if you have an odd fetish with yogurt fluid, I would send you towards the Dannon.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 container – 150 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 350 milligrams of potassium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein, 0% vitamin A, 0% vitamin C and 25% calcium.)

Item: Dannon Caramel Yogurt
Price: Free
Size: 6 ounces
Purchased at: My Parents’ Refrigerator
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: No-frills yogurt. Knowing that there are lazier people than you. Making fun of Polly Pocket’s drinking problems. Sweet caramel flavor. Anything is better than plain yogurt.
Cons: A bitchy and bloated Jamie Lee Curtis. Flavor is very faint. Jamie Lee Curtis with chronic diarrhea. No caramel drizzle packet. Yogurt fluid.

Dannon Frusion

Marvo

Dannon Frusion

A few weeks ago I reviewed the Yoplait Nouriche, a fruit smoothie. If you didn’t read the review, I wasn’t too impressed with it because of its price and taste.

However, one good thing came out of buying the Yoplait Nouriche and that was getting a coupon for $1 off its competitor the Dannon Frusion. I also received a coupon for $1 off my next purchase at the national grocery store chain I shop at. This all means a cheap Dannon Frusion for me…so I thought.

Coupons are a consumer’s and a quasi-review website editor’s best friend, if you remember to use them. Somehow I have this bad habit of having coupons and forgetting to use them. I usually put them in my wallet, because I know I have to open up my wallet to pay for my groceries, but I still forget about them.

When I went to the national grocery store chain I shop at, I immediately went to the dairy section to see what flavors of Dannon Frusion they had. Unfortunately, they only had two: Peach Passion Fruit and Berry Blend.

I decided to go with the Peach Passion Fruit, because I could use a little passion. After I got everything else on my shopping list, I headed to the checkout. While the female cashier was ringing up my groceries, we began to talk about (and I’m not making this up) my ass.

The conversation went something like this:

Female Cashier: Do you or your groceries need help to your car?

Me: I don’t think anyone could carry me to my car.

Female Cashier: Why do you say that?

Me: I have a big ass.

Female Cashier: (laughter) Lemme see.

Me: No. Bum looker. Cheeky monkey.

Female Cashier: Come on, lemme see.

Me: You can look at it as I walk away.

(I walked away pushing my cart)

Female Cashier: Nice butt.

(I smiled)

When I got home, I pulled out my wallet and realized that I didn’t use my damn coupons. I started cursing at myself and looked at the receipt to see how much the Frusion costs. I expected it to be about the same price as the four-dollar Yoplait Nouriche (which has dropped in price since the review), however I was pleasantly surprised that the Frusion was significantly cheaper at $2.49.

So here I was stuck with two coupons, one of which expired that day. I instantly decided to drive to another national grocery store chain I shop at, hoping they would have more of a selection of flavors. They had one other flavor, which turned out to be Strawberry Kiwi.

Headed toward the cashiers, this time with the coupons in my hand to make sure I used them. Also, I made sure to go to a male cashier, because I’m definitely not going to talk about my ass with another guy.

With the coupons, I paid 49 cents for this Frusion.

For the next two mornings I was able to enjoy a Dannon Frusion. After trying them, I like them better than the Yoplait Nouriche, which was a bit too tart for my tastes. I enjoyed both flavors I purchased and would definitely buy more, if I ever get another coupon.

Item: Dannon Frusion
Purchase Price: $2.49 Peach Passion Fruit / $0.49 Strawberry Kiwi (with coupons)
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Cheaper than the Yoplait Nouriche. Not as tart as the Nouriche. Good fruit combinations. I apparently have a nice butt.
Cons: Even though they’re inexpensive, I wish I didn’t need a coupon to be able to purchase them. It would be cool if they were priced the same as Dannon yogurt.