REVIEW: Dunkin’ Turtle Signature Latte

A wise man once said, “I like turtles.”

Who could argue with that?

Not I. Whether it be the living, breathing reptiles or those of the Teenage Mutant Ninja persuasion, they’re all cool with me. Perhaps my favorite turtles though are those little chocolate, pecan, and caramel cluster candies. I really like those turtles, so when I noticed Dunkin’ added a Turtle Signature Latte to the app, I acted in the complete opposite way of a turtle… ya know, fast. I ordered one quickly.

The new Turtle Signature Iced Latte features mocha and butter pecan syrup swirls, espresso, and whole milk topped with whipped cream, caramel drizzle, and crunchy cocoa caramel crumbles.

On the surface, this might just seem like a rejiggering of flavors Dunkin’ has always featured, but I gotta say, it found the right balance with this one.

The mocha-heavy espresso packs a dark and rich wallop, while the butter pecan swirl adds a smooth caramel-y flourish. Just that coffee portion is great on its own, but the topping was my favorite part. Whipped cream and caramel drizzle are all fine and good, but that’s standard fare. It was the cocoa caramel crumbles that really took this to the next level.

They tasted like little cookie crumbs and the crystalized sugar coating on candied nuts. Not only that, they might be the first Dunkin’ topping I’ve ever had that didn’t just melt away. They held their crunch and lasted the entire drink, and I got bits in almost every sip.

It might seem weird or even unappetizing at first to think of sipping up crispy bits in a watery iced coffee and not something with a milkshake-type consistency, but trust me, they’re good. I’d buy a bottle of these as a garnish tomorrow.

Yeah, not much to complain about here. My only small gripe is one that I’ve always had with Dunkin’s mocha flavor – it leaves a dry, almost gritty film in my mouth when I’m done. I usually have to chase it with a bottle of water. At least I’m staying hydrated, right?

I should also note I couldn’t make any dairy substitutions in the app. It’s whole milk or nothing, but I imagine you can finagle something different if you talk to an employee.

I think turtles represent good vibes, and this drink lives up to the namesake. Dunkin’ is doing a big Butter Pecan push for the summer, so this latte will probably hang around for a while. It’s not an everyday coffee because it’s way too indulgent to start every morning with, but you should definitely try it at least once. I’m kinda bummed Dunkin’ is not pairing this new drink with turtle-flavored donuts. They coulda iced ’em like little turtle shells!

Whatever, I’m sure the butter pecan donut is good, and Dunkin’ will do a chocolate caramel hybrid donut at some point. For now, I’ll probably just enjoy this latte a few more times over the coming months. Cowabunga, dudes!

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: Small
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 270 calories, 5 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 48 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 43 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Bakery Series Canned Iced Coffee

Dunkin’ has released three new canned iced coffees inspired by its bakery offerings to excite pastry and coffee aficionados alike. The Bakery Series includes the Brownie Batter Donut, Cake Batter Donut, and Coffee Cake Muffin iced coffees. Will they be able to capture the essence of their namesake baked good and turn it into a caffeinated treat?

As a coffee snob who is also an absolute garbage person who will drink any swill if it has enough sugar and cream, I appreciate that Dunkin’ can straddle that line. While my Technivorm Moccamaster demands to be fed Ethiopian Yirgacheffe and gives me the side-eye if I drink it any way but black, I think Dunkin’ offers a good quality brew that can be doctored up without ruining it.

The three pale brown beverages are very sweet with a cream flavor, and the coffee flavor is mild. The dominant taste can be guessed from the names: Chocolate Brownie and Cake Batter Donut taste like chocolate and vanilla, respectively, and Coffee Cake Muffin tastes like cinnamon.

The issue with these three has nothing to do with the flavor, which is good if uninspired, and everything to do with the over-ambitious naming. Dunkin’ has released a Brownie Batter Donut that featured a thick, batter-like filling that was distinct from their run-of-the-mill chocolate crème. But how do food scientists translate chocolate filling, much less chocolate brownie batter filling into an iced coffee that’s not simply chocolate flavored? They mostly don’t.

To the extent that these beverages have a flavor other than plain chocolate, vanilla, and cinnamon, it’s of additives used to replicate the ineffable “batter” and “muffin” essence. The result tastes good when gulped down, but slightly off-putting if you stop to study it, especially with the plainer cake batter flavor. Vanilla lets more weird science-y flavor through.

Vanilla, chocolate, and cinnamon coffee are classics for a reason, and that’s mostly what these are. Dunkin’s reach exceeded its grasp in attempting to capture a pastry in a can, but the result is still an enjoyable coffee experience.

Purchased Price: $2.49 each
Size: 11 oz cans (325 ml)
Purchased at: Woodman’s Market
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 200 calories, 6 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 mg milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 grams of fiber, 30 grams of sugar (including 22 grams added sugar), and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Breakfast Taco

I think we’ve all gotten a little sloppy with our fast food naming conventions. Put something inside a tortilla shell and we’ll call it a taco. That’s pretty much what I was expecting from Dunkin’s new “Spring” item, the Breakfast Taco. I figured it would just be some eggs, cheese, maybe a little bacon, and…wait, Dunkin’ already makes that. It’s called the Wake-up Wrap, and it’s been on the menu for ages.

I was concerned: Was it possible that Dunkin’ was relaunching almost the exact same product under a different name? Who do they think they are, Taco Bell?

But no, Dunkin’ made something that’s not only different from its other offerings but hard to find anywhere in fast food breakfast land: a taco with a flavor profile that bespeaks its Mexican origins.

First, there are two versions: plain or with a bacon topping. I wanted to actually taste all of the subtle flavors without having to deal with that overbearing bacon flavor, so I went with the first option.

The taco starts with corn. Dunkin’ calls it “fire-roasted corn,” but it didn’t taste particularly roasted to me; it was just a pleasant, sweet flavor. Not overly sweet or syrupy, but just the natural sweetness of the vegetable. At first, the corn was so dominant that it was hard to discern the other flavors, but it’s a dish with surprising depth. I noticed more subtle flavor notes as I ate, which is an experience I don’t often get with breakfast food.

One of those subtle flavors is from the jalapenos. I need to be clear that this is not a very spicy item; the heat is mild and just quietly adds depth. Sometimes, when I make curry for dinner, I make it with only a smidgen of spices so that my spice-timid 7-year-old will eat it. That’s the kind of heat level this is: you know it’s there, and that’s enough.

I also picked out the herbaceous bite of cilantro, which adds a lot of brightness. More prominent is the melted sharp white cheddar cheese, which adds a dairy tang to the proceedings. It isn’t noticeable in every bite but offers a nice, salty contrast when it pops up.

Lastly, there is a “tangy” lime crema, but I only really tasted it at the very end of the taco, when all I had left was crema and a little tortilla. It could have just been my taco, or maybe the crema is another ingredient that is meant to be subtle.

Dunkin’ could have bunted the ball here and just made glorified scrambled eggs in a tortilla shell, but it went the extra mile and is offering customers a novel experience, not just different from other Dunkin’ menu items but different, period. Will it win out over more cheesy, eggy, bready foods in my personal breakfast rotation? Maybe. While I may not order it every time I go to Dunkin’, I’m really glad the option is there. I take my hat off to Dunkin’ for trying something new.

Purchased Price: $2.59
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 180 calories, 9 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 500 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Caramel Chocolate Cold Brew

You know that Coke commercial where people from around the globe gather to sing about how they’d like to buy the world a Coke and teach everyone to sing in harmony? Well, I would like to buy everyone (or at least those who enjoy sweetened iced coffee) a Caramel Chocolate Cold Brew from Dunkin’.

It features cold brew mixed with caramel chocolate syrup that’s topped off with a layer of chocolate cold foam and cocoa caramel sprinkles. I’m repeating the word cold, but this drink is firing on all cylinders. It’s so harmonious and an excellent example of a sweet coffee drink that still tastes like coffee and not a cup of sugar that may have coffee in it somewhere.

Taking it from the top, the cocoa caramel sprinkles are not traditional sprinkles. It looks like the drink has been scattered with pebbles, and this was no more apparent than when I set mine on a stoop to take a picture and it camouflaged perfectly. They’re sort of like the coating on those chocolate eclair ice cream bars but less solid. If you eat them at first, they feel a bit crunchy, like an ice cream topping, but I let some melt into the drink and found no trace of them at the bottom.

This tasty rubble is being admirably held up by a thick layer of chocolate cold foam that’s surprisingly stable. I’m often disappointed by drinks with cold foam because they’re great for the first sip or two, but then the foam just disappears. I was shocked that this foam held up while I walked with it for several blocks and maintained a presence on top for most of the time it took me to finish the drink. It was chocolatey and sweet without being overly so with a nice whipped consistency.

The majority of the drink is cold brew with a caramel chocolate syrup, and somehow despite all the additions here sounding like the makeup of a candy bar, this isn’t saccharine. The chocolate and caramel flavors accentuate and don’t overwhelm the cold brew. It tastes like drinking coffee but a sweeter and more indulgent variety than my everyday cup. Often the specialty drinks at Dunkin’ can feel more like dessert, but this one was smooth and coffee-centric with a pleasant bitterness that plays well with the cocoa and caramel notes.

As someone who usually takes their coffee less adorned but sometimes likes to have a sweeter version, this really struck a perfect balance. I have a terrible voice and could never teach anyone to sing, but if I had the funds to get everyone who likes iced coffee a Caramel Chocolate Cold Brew, I think I’d please people across the coffee consumer spectrum, and we’d all get caffeinated in harmony.

Caveat: I tried this a second time from a different Dunkin’ to totally different results. The cold foam was still great, but the cocoa caramel gravel was replaced with cinnamon sugar. The drink tasted disappointingly like straight chocolate syrup with little to no caramel or coffee. I would not want to buy anyone that, including myself.

Purchased Price: $5.19
Size: Medium
Purchased at: Dunkin’
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 220 calories, 4 grams of total fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of total carbs, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 44 grams of total sugar (44 grams of added sugar), and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Stuffed Biscuit Bites

Dunkin’ has a new bite-sized breakfast snack, so naturally I had to review it.

I’m not sure why, but this has basically become my Bat Signal. If the folks there “Munchkinify” something new, I have to try it as soon as possible and share my dopey opinion with you fine folks online.

Stuffed Bagel Balls? Check.

Mini Pancakes? Got ’em.

Snack-sized Wake-up Wraps? Reviewed ’em.

Shot glasses full of cappuccino? Actually, they haven’t done this, and rightfully so. That would be a terrible idea.

Eh, who am I kidding? I’d be there in the first week ready and willing to give my review, just like I was for Dunkin’s new Stuffed Biscuit Bites.

As much as I wanna sit here and give a glowing review of these tasty little discs, I don’t know if I should because I’ve been bamboozled!

Dunkin’s Biscuit Bites are almost identical to the Omelet Bites I reviewed last year. When I took my first bite, I immediately knew I’d had these before. They’re almost literally a repackaging of the same product in a slightly different casing. I’ll be fair, though, and actually review the Biscuit Bites because, after all, I liked the Omelet Bites.

I would say these are a slight step down, mostly due to the dry and bready shell coating. They still have a nice texture, but I was hoping there would be a buttery Southern-style biscuit base. Instead, it’s more of a soft stuffed bread with a light biscuit flavor.

If you’ve ever had one of those giant crusty knishes from a Jewish deli, the exterior really reminded me of one of those. I prefer square fried knishes myself, but I also like those, so this isn’t a knock in terms of the flavor. It was just a little too dry for such a small presentation.

If an “egg knish” was a thing, this is it. Whereas I would douse my knish in mustard, the egg, cheese, and bacon interior of the Biscuit Bites wasn’t enough to fully overcome the dryness.

Like the Omelet Bites, the stuffed portion here tasted exactly like the inside of a Pillsbury Toaster Scramble. While the bacon isn’t really noticeable by the eye, the slightly artificial flavor is there in droves, and the cheesy eggs act as a nice glue to keep everything intact. Despite harping on the dryness, I was still pleasantly surprised these weren’t in any way mushy.

So, these are new, but not really?

Ultimately, I liked them, but these are just a carbed-up repackaging of an old idea. I’m still a sucker for the small bites, and these held me over for a few hours, as I expected.

There’s an offer all month in the app where you can get these for free with a drink order, so you might as well try them out.

If you liked the Omelet Bites and think the idea of an “egg knish” sounds fun, you’ll have a good time. I’d probably ask for some syrup or, forgive me, ketchup the next time I get these to moisten them up a bit.

Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: 2 Bites
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 260 calories, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 690 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of total sugars, and 10 grams of protein.