REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Thick & Fluffy French Toast

Kellogg s Eggo Thick  Fluffy Classic French Toast

The bread I buy has enough fiber to give me 15% of my recommended daily intake with two slices and has enough seeds in the crust to make a bird caw with excitement. It’s a practical bread I eat for the whole grains and the ability to say I’m eating healthy to my doctor. But it’s not one that makes a decent French toast.

Thankfully, Kellogg’s has its Eggo Thick & Fluffy Classic French Toast that doesn’t require me to whisk eggs, dip UPS driver uniform-colored bread in an egg mixture, and cook it in a skillet. It’s currently available in three varieties — Classic, Blueberry, and Cinnamon Brown Sugar. My local Target only had the Classic one made with Madagascar vanilla.

Using Madagascar vanilla is nice, but this could’ve had New Jersey vanilla and I wouldn’t know the difference between what comes from the coast of Africa or the shores of Jersey. But the vanilla itself is not enough to eat this topping-less.

Kellogg s Eggo Thick  Fluffy Classic French Toast with Syrup

It needs butter and something gooey on it, whether it be honey, cheap store brand pancake syrup (which is what I used), or pure maple syrup from a small farm in Vermont that costs $25 for 4 ounces. Okay, it’s not as if it tastes like plain bread slices, but pre-lightly sweetened or flavored it is not. It looks like a nice piece of French toast with the appropriate char and eggy color, and it has a nice soft and fluffy texture, but it lacks a flavor that makes it taste as if it’s gone through an egg mixture of any kind. That’s weird to me.

But who eats French toast without any toppings? Certainly not the French. And, as IHOP and Denny’s can attest, most certainly not Americans. When store brand syrup and cinnamon is added, it’s a tasty part of a complete breakfast.

Kellogg s Eggo Thick  Fluffy Classic French Toast Part of a Complete Breakfast

The only issue that truly irked me was the recommended toasting instructions that say to heat it at the lowest setting and two cycles may be necessary. But whether I was toasting one or two, I needed to light up the heating elements more than twice to get the pieces all warmed up. Of course, toasters differ so your results may vary.

Even with that problem and the lack of flavor when plain, Kellogg’s Eggo Thick & Fluffy Classic French Toast is still a fine product. Think of it as an easy to prepare canvas for your sane and insane French toast ideas.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: 6 slices/box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 slice) 140 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Kellogg’s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers

Kellogg s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers

These Kellogg’s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers aren’t shaped like Minions. That’s sad because, like Tic Tacs, their pill-like shape SCREAMS Minions.

So no Wafflers shaped like Bob, Carl, Chris, Darwin, Dave, Donnie, Eric, Henry, Jerry, John, Jorge, Josh, Ken, Kevin, Lance, Larry, Mark, Mel, Mike, Norbert, Phil, Paul, Steve, Tim, Tom, or Tony.

But I’m forgiving the brand a little because these Wafflers are not bad, with or without syrup. Now, if you’re familiar with Eggo Wafflers, you know they’re packed with flavor. In this case, it’s chocolatey chips and banana purée, so syrup isn’t necessary. Sure, you could add some, after all, they’re waffles with pockets to hold syrup, but they’re fine without.

Kellogg s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers 2

Kellogg s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers 3

They don’t make your toaster’s immediate vicinity smell like the yellow-skinned fruit while between the heating elements. But if you bring it up to your nose like you’re a monkey determining whether or not you have a banana in your hand, it’ll have a natural overripe banana aroma. The fruit puree baked into the waffle gives the breakfast item a pleasing natural flavor. So you fist-shaking Banana Runts haters, might not hate this.

The chips are exactly like what you’d taste with Chocolatey Chip Eggo Waffles — a slightly unnatural chocolate flavor. They’re not evenly spread across each waffle bar (yes, that’s what Kellogg’s called them), so some bites will be all banana.

I like these Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers, and I’m sure Bob, Carl, Chris, Darwin, Dave, Donnie, Eric, Henry, Jerry, John, Jorge, Josh, Ken, Kevin, Lance, Larry, Mark, Mel, Mike, Norbert, Phil, Paul, Steve, Tim, Tom, and Tony would also like them.

Purchased Price: $4.49*
Size: 16 waffle bars/10.7 oz. box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 waffles/4 waffle bars) – 230 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Eggo Seasons Confetti Waffles

Kellogg's Limited Edition Eggo Seasons Confetti Waffles

I have to admit it took me a minute to figure out why confetti was considered an Eggo Seasons flavor. I thought maybe there are some places where the snow is multi-colored, and it’s in celebration of winter? Then I wondered if maybe the waffles were hinting at party season?

But I realized that, as much as I like to think it may one day happen, snow will always be white, and party season is a year-round thing. It finally hit me that Eggo Seasons Confetti Waffles are in celebration of the New Year. DUH! Gosh, I can be real a tool sometimes.

After Cincinnati Bengals running back Jeremy Hill ran me and my brother to a fantasy football championship and prize money that would make Bill Gates jealous ($400 each), the reasons to celebrate were aplenty. So with that said, screw the New Year, I got these waffles to celebrate fantasy football pride, being better than my friends, and, of course, money.

Unfortunately, the party ends there, as the waffles themselves really weren’t worth celebrating. Now that doesn’t mean they’re bad, it just means they aren’t as flashy as the colorful confetti specks make them out to be, at least in terms of flavor.

Kellogg's Limited Edition Eggo Seasons Confetti Waffles Naked

Hopeful for the ever awesome Pillsbury Funfetti flavor, my hopes were dashed just a few bites into my first waffle. There is a little bitty, teeny tiny, super duper small hint of Funfetti flavor to the toaster waffles. Like, maybe 9/100ths of the taste is Funfetti. There isn’t any noticeable texture to the confetti. It just seems to be a dye, which could explain the lack of flavor with the confetti.

Disappointed, I tried a few different methods to see if I could find these waffles’ sweet spot. I had one with maple syrup, one with butter, and one with both.

Kellogg's Limited Edition Eggo Seasons Confetti Waffles Naked

When you add anything to the waffle, that tiny inkling of extra flavor disappears faster than that one person at every New Year’s party who gets too drunk too fast, only to disappear into some random bathroom in the house to throw up, pass out and not be seen again until the next day. Then everybody is like, “Hey, where’s Jeff?” And you all take a quick look around the room before shrugging the thought of Jeff’s presence off and resuming your horribly orchestrated group dance to Edai 600’s “Koopa Bitch.”

The waffles aren’t all bad though. They still have that classic Eggo taste we all love. Well, at least those of us with souls, meaning that dressing them up with syrup, butter, peanut butter, Nutella, whatever your waffle topper of choice is, they will still be tasty. It’s just disappointing the confetti doesn’t really add much.

Reminds me of this time I was out at a bar and the band on stage announced they would be playing a cover of Rush’s “YYZ.” Being a huge fan of the Holy Trinity, excitement stirred in my bones. Unfortunately, it was the single worst rendition of the song I had ever heard. The rhythm guitar was laughable, they skipped over the guitar solo and they didn’t even have a drummer! Being as drunk as I was, I booed throughout most of the song. Then for some reason the lead singer gave me a hat with the Bud Light logo after the set was over. Um… thanks?

The whole situation just didn’t make much sense, much like these Limited Edition Eggo Seasons Confetti Waffles.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 waffles – 170 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 330 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Eggo Seasons Confetti Waffles
Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 8 waffles
Purchased at: Wegmans
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Still pass as Eggo waffles. Jeremy Hill. Having a group dance to “Koopa Bitch.” Being rewarded a Bud Light hat for incessant booing.
Cons: Almost nonexistent confetti flavor is a massive disappointment. Disappearing Jeffs. Having to endure pitiful covers of Rush songs.

QUICK REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Cinnamon French Toast Bites

Kellogg's Eggo Cinnamon French Toast Bites

Purchased Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 4 pouches
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Pieces are soft and easy to tear apart. Smells pleasant when being microwaved. Comes in microwaveable pouch. Ready in about 70 seconds. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. Wittle French toast look so adowable that I want to eat them up…Oh wait, I did.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like French toast. Have some cinnamon handy (or syrup) because the light cinnamon flavor will have some of you reaching for it. Pleasant aroma disappears once it’s out of the microwave. No toaster instructions. Why do they make my fingers greasy? Part of an unsatisfying breakfast.

Kellogg's Eggo Cinnamon French Toast Bites Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 1 pouch – 180 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 270 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.

QUICK REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Drizzlers Vanilla Icing Waffles

Kellogg's Eggo Vanilla Icing Drizzlers

Purchased Price: $3.19
Size: 6 waffles/box
Purchased at: Publix
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Waffles toast up crispy. Icing akin to cinnamon roll icing. 10 vitamins and minerals. Excellent for making breakfast sausage sandwiches. Excellent for making ice cream sandwiches. Fulfills lifelong goal to draw on a waffle. Filling in the waffle nooks reminds me of Tetris.
Cons: Homestyle waffle base is pretty bland on its own. Only 3 icing packs for 6 waffles. Must sustain patience for the icing to defrost. Must sustain patience for waffles to toast. Realizing I have no patience.

Kellogg's Eggo Vanilla Icing Drizzlers Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 2 waffles and 1 icing pack – 280 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 430 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.