Fast Food – Page 142 – The Impulsive Buy

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Jurassic Chomp Blizzard

Joe / April 3, 2018 / Reviews / 4 Comments

What is it?

One of two new Blizzards available on Dairy Queen’s Summer Blizzard menu. What better time to release your summer specials than the second week of spring? The Jurassic Chomp mixes “colossal” choco dipped peanut butter bites with fudge topping blended vanilla.

How is it?

If you love peanut butter and chocolate, hold onto your butts. Listed in the ingredients as buckeyes, the choco-dipped peanut butter bites are colossal in taste if not size. While pleasantly abundant, they do not appear to be any larger than what I normally find in a Blizzard.

The candy is dominated by nutty peanut butter deliciousness with just the right amount of salty grittiness and a chocolatey finish. The choice to infuse the vanilla base with fudge topping hatches an Indominus rex of a flavor by exquisitely balancing the heavier peanut butter of the buckeyes. The resulting combination had me devouring my Blizzard faster than a hungry Tyrannosaurus stumbling upon a lawyer in an outhouse.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Apparently, dinosaurs love peanut butter and chocolate as much they love wreaking havoc on theme parks. This is second time these flavors have been featured by Dairy Queen in Jurassic Blizzard.

Despite the similarity in name and general flavor, the Jurassic Chomp is significantly different than the Jurassic Smash Blizzard that was a cross promotion in 2015. Released alongside Jurassic World, the Smash was comprised of “smashed” peanut butter cookies, chocolate chip cookie dough, peanut butter, and choco chunks.

There is no Jurassic World themed container or other advertising for the Chomp currently, but that can change if this becomes June’s Blizzard of the Month to coincide with the new movie.

Conclusion:

With a peanut butter and chocolate flavor as impressively large as it’s real world namesake, this is one Blizzard I’m chomping at the bit to sink my teeth into again.

Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: Small
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small) 660 calories, 29 grams of fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 86 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 73 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Arby’s Gyro Loaded Curly Fries

James / April 2, 2018 / Reviews / 4 Comments

After venison sandwiches, the monstrous Meat Mountain, and a mustard-slathered Cuban, I suppose the old Athenian route was one of the few remaining avenues left for Arby’s to explore.

Enter the Gyro Loaded Curly Fries, a limited-time-only companion piece to Arby’s armada of Greek-themed seasonal items such as the Greek Gyro Salad and the, uh, just plain old Gyro.

Arby’s proprietary Curly Fries, I suppose, need no introduction. We all know how fantastic they are. This newfangled edition ups the ante with a nice mixture of traditional gyro ingredients, including Tzatziki sauce, red onions, diced tomatoes and, of course, a heaping helping of gyro meat (which, in this instance, is a combination of beef and lamb.)

Two things make this dish stand out. First, the spices are really good. Of course, since I don’t work there I have no idea what the local Arby’s is putting in these things, but my well-traveled taste buds picked up all sorts of flavors that are more than atypical for a fast food haunt, including what appears to be cumin and coriander. For something you can pick up via a drive-thru window, this thing tastes astonishingly comparable to “real” Greek cuisine.

Secondly, the Tzatziki sauce is outstanding. My big fear was that it would be either too weak and watery or too thick and overpowering, but give the meat maestros at Arby’s some credit, they came pretty darn close to striking a nearly perfect balance on this one. It’s extremely unlikely, but I’d love to see this delicious yogurt become a permanent addition to the sauce bar.

Your mileage will vary on the quality of the meat. The slivers are a little chewier than you’d expect, and the very well seasoned exterior might be a turn off to those of you with blander appetites. I guess my biggest gripe is that the chunks of gyro meat are just too small and too few and far in-between the fries. Really, you’d need to get a double order of meat for the meat-to-fries ratio to come out even, so do keep that in mind before you flip open your wallet.

The tomatoes and red onions are kind of an afterthought. The former are so small and inconsequential that you barely taste them and the latter are probably a wee bit too big and overpowering compared to the rest of the dish. Simply put, the fries and the onions just don’t gel at all in terms of taste and mouthfeel, no matter how much sauce you add into the mix. I’d recommend skipping the onions altogether, but hey – that’s just my personal preference.

On the whole, this is a much better than anticipated side item. It’s filling and feels fresh. Of course, it’s not for all tastes, but as long as you’ve got a penchant for spicier offerings, you’ll probably get a kick out of these specially dressed Curly Fries.

(Nutrition Facts – 820 calories, 530 calories from fat, 49 grams of total fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,650 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of total carbohydrates, 6 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugars, and 14 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: The seasonings are superb. The Tzatziki sauce is surprisingly rich. Lamb and Curly Fries go together way better than we ever could’ve possibly imagined.
Cons: The onions are a bit much. The slices of meat are a tad too small. Having to listen to the cashier refer to it as a “GUY-RO” instead of a “YEAR-OH”…repeatedly.

Arby's Fast Food

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Blizzard

Joe / March 30, 2018 / Reviews / 1 Comment

Let’s get this out of the way. Dairy Queen’s April Blizzard of the Month, Peanut Butter Cookie Dough, does NOT contain cookie dough that is peanut butter flavored. Rather, peanut butter topping is blended with vanilla soft serve and filled with chocolate chip cookie dough and choco chunks.

While I’m not the brightest tool in the shed, I expected peanut butter cookies and not merely “topping.” It’s not unlike the unfulfilled promise of the Star Wars prequels. Sure, Star Wars: The Phantom Menace has both “stars” and “wars”, but many expecting to see the “Star Wars” of the beloved original trilogy were sorely disappointed.

That said, the chocolate chip cookie dough and choco chunks work well together. The chunks add a pleasant snap and welcome contrast to the buttery base and soft, gritty cookie dough pieces.

The real draw though is the top-billed combo with peanut butter. The topping description is apt as it creates a uniform and smooth peanut butter ice cream with only a rare vanilla heavy bite. It’s not overly potent, but with no concentrated gobs of the luscious legume, that is to be expected.

Despite worshiping at the altar of Mr. Peanut, I feel, though tasty, the peanut butter topping flavored ice cream clashes with the mix-ins. The cookie dough, in particular, is slightly masked whereas the standard cookie dough Blizzard is enhanced by the complementary fudge.

In the end, I suspect chocolate chip cookie dough fans will be disappointed that the flavor is muted. Conversely, peanut butter lovers will wish they had fulfilled the tantalizing promise of the name by using peanut butter cookie dough. What we are left with is something Jar Jar would say “isa okeeday, no bombad and missa thinkin some people ganna be little bitty underwhelmt.”

Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small) 730 calories, 31 grams of fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 360 milligrams of sodium, 99 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 76 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein..

Blizzard Dairy Queen Fast Food

REVIEW: McDonald’s Szechuan Sauce

Vin / March 21, 2018 / Reviews / 5 Comments

Don’t mention Rick and Morty. Don’t mention Rick and Morty.

On a recent episode of Rick and Morty… Dammit!

Do I need to give you guys a recap of McDonald’s Szechuan Sauce Mania?

Fine.

Here’s the CliffsNotes version – a plot line in a time-traveling episode centered on McDonald’s Szechuan Sauce from the 1990’s. Rick and Morty fans, being some of the most boisterous on the net, demanded Mickey D’s bring it back. They did. It was a disaster. Only some restaurants carried it, and entitled fanboys lined up outside like they were getting Hamilton tickets. Few succeeded. The “lucky” patient few started selling them on eBay for laughable prices, and that’s how I got mine.

Here I sit $375 poorer finally ready to try a sauce that escaped me as a child. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!

I’m kidding. McDonald’s acknowledged the demand and brought Szechuan Sauce back. You can pretty much get it anywhere for free with your order.

The sauce smelled like Asian ginger salad dressing to me, which I’ve always been fond of. I had to remove it from the packet to see its brownish orange color. It also had little black pepper flakes –- more on those later.

My flavor vessel of choice was the McNugget because it seemed like the obvious choice. After a dip, I noticed Szechuan had basically the same viscosity of BBQ sauce.

I apologize for being all over the map of Asia, but the flavor profiles put me in mind of multiple sauces that span different countries. I got mostly teriyaki flavor, a little sweet and sour, while also putting me in mind of that much thinner soy-based sauce you get with an order of shumai or gyoza at a Japanese restaurant.

There was definitely a little ginger, some tang, and a pinch of citrus which I thought was from something like orange zest, but that’s not a listed ingredient. The major “flavor” lacking here was any heat whatsoever. I figured those pepper flakes would provide a nice kick, but any spice was negligible. That was disappointing.

Overall, it’s a solid McNugget sauce. I haven’t had it in years, and after eating four of them, I coulda crushed a 20-piece without much struggle.

If I had to rank Szechuan Sauce against the rest of the McDonald’s dipping sauce roster, it would land smack dab in the middle. It’s not overtaking classics like BBQ or Honey Mustard, but it’s better than Sweet and Sour. I also don’t care much for Ranch and Buffalo, so keep that in mind.

If McDonald’s decided to put out a Snack Wrap with Szechuan Sauce, it would be excellent. I’m no marketing genius, but McDonald’s should have taken advantage of the hype and released a couple other menu items that featured this sauce.

So yeah, this stuff is good, but not worth the ridiculous hype. Ya boy Rick Sanchez made it seem like Ambrosia but it’s just a run of the mill, solid dipping sauce.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available.)

Purchased Price: $1.29 for the Nuggets – I got 2 Sauce Packets for free. (To eBay I go!)
Size: 0.90 oz.
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Basically a light spin on teriyaki Sauce. A solid dipping sauce. McDonald’s giving the (obnoxious) people what they want. Bonus sauce packet. McNuggets nostalgia. A review 20+ years in the making. I know how to spell “Szechuan: now.
Cons: That entire Rick and Morty fiasco. Not having a Snack Wrap with Szechuan on the current menu.

Fast Food McDonald's

REVIEW: Chick-fil-A Frosted Sunrise

Adam / March 20, 2018 / Reviews / 1 Comment

Orange you glad Chick-fil-A parlayed their popular Frosted Coffee and Frosted Lemonade formula into orange sherbet form?

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Actually, while the concept of the new Frosted Sunrise (a combination of Chick-fil-A’s soft-serve Icedream and Simply Orange orange juice) follows the same premise of the chain’s existing drink/soft-serve mashups, the marketing plan appears totally different.

Take, for example, the listing of the Frosted Sunrise under the “drink” section of Chick-fil-A’s menu and not the “Treat” section. Even the name, Frosted Sunrise, conjures up images of a 100 percent of your daily vitamin C and lasting energy to embrace your eight hours of sedentary office work.

In a word: wholesome.

And, as it happens, the Frosted Sunrise does taste more wholesome, which is exactly the last thing I want in my orange-flavored frozen dairy drinks.

Perennial child of the 90s I am, I just can’t get Orange Flintstones Push-Up treats out of my head. Together with orange sherbet, this tag-team of artificial citrus formed approximately 71 percent of my dessert intake from the ages of 7-10.

That’s not to say I don’t love me a good Florida orange (or a clementine for that matter). But when it comes to combining oranges with cream, there’s a certain level of socially-engrained flavor balance that’s to be expected. Unfortunately, Chick-fil-A’s Frosted Sunrise skews too far toward the fresh-squeezed orange, creating a clashing matchup of full-bodied and slightly bitter orange with a weak soft-serve flavor.

Overwhelmed by this cognitive dissonance, I trudged on. As I slurped more and more sunrise (note: save that phrase for a future poem) I noticed the flavors being a bit evener. The initial strong natural orange flavor, which in this application was not exactly optimal, quickly dissipated to the point where the milky sweetness of the Icedream became the guiding flavor.

Childhood sherbet equilibrium obtained, I was content (I also had a brain freeze, although I take full responsibility for that). Still, the fact that the flavor shifted so dramatically struck me as problematic, especially when Chick-fil-A’s Icedream lacks the rich milkfat to tame the initial heavy citrus bursts.

Overall, Chick-fil-A’s Frosted Sunrise does a lot of good things and has elements that will please both natural orange enthusiasts and artificial orange nostalgics like me. However, in doing so, it fails to leave both completely satisfied throughout, making it less enjoyable than Chick-fil-A’s Frosted Coffee and Frosted Lemonade.

(Nutrition Facts – Small – 320 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of sat fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 135 milligrams of sodium, 60 grams of carbohydrates, 47 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein, 25% calcium, and 60% Vitamin C.)

Purchased Price: $2.89
Size: Small
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Strong orange sherbet finish. Healthier breakfast alternative to a milkshake (which technically you can get at breakfast but…) Clean, strong refreshing flavor.
Cons: Natural orange flavor clashes and overwhelms the dairy for half of the drink. Slight bitterness can be off-putting. Not enough richness in the dairy. Inconsistent flavor.

Chick-fil-A Fast Food