Fast Food – Page 197 – The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Whataburger Jalapeño Cheddar Biscuit

Kelley / May 5, 2014 / Reviews / 11 Comments

I’m not that big on biscuits. I owned a Limp Bizkit CD in my late teens, but I’m not proud of that fact, and I think we can all look back and realize we made some stupid mistakes at that age.

I feel bad for the biscuits that come with my KFC meals, because they always wind up neglected in favor of stuffing my face with fried chicken. Priorities, you know? They then go stale after one day and wind up in the trash.

I wish I could just tell the cashier to hold the biscuits and throw in an extra leg or something, but I’m pretty sure there’s no button for that on the cash register, and I try to avoid confusing fast food workers as much as possible. Understanding the talky-box at the drive-thru is difficult enough as it is.

Even when I order a breakfast sandwich, I’ll generally opt for English muffin over biscuit. They just seem to work better as breakfast buns, a phrase I’d like to make a dirty joke out of but can’t quite develop. Biscuits just tend to be more crumbly, which isn’t the most convenient for breakfast on-the-go, especially if you don’t want to show up at work with crumbs all over your slacks.

Before you label me a biscuit-hater, however, I will say that I’m way into biscuits and gravy. It’s one of my favorite breakfast foods, as long as I can afford the luxury of utensils. Whataburger is one of the few fast food locations that offers biscuits and gravy, and their sausage gravy is impressively delicious.

That said, I decided to branch out while on my mission to try Whataburger’s new Jalapeño Cheddar Biscuit. I could have just gotten the biscuit, but that seemed a little sad. Whataburger’s website encouraged me to substitute it for any of the other biscuit options on their menu, which immediately led me down the road of biscuits and gravy (oh, if I should ever find such an actual road flowing with sausage gravy), but I figured the spicy/cheesy combo would work better in sandwich form. Short story long, I decided to get a Jalapeño Cheddar Sausage and Cheese Biscuit Sandwich.

Right away, I could see the pepper bits in the biscuit, which is always encouraging. It had a nice, spicy scent to it, which mixed with the savory odor of the sausage patty very well. Furthermore, the jalapeño pieces were plentiful and looked as though they were fresh (as opposed to pickled) when they were baked into the biscuit, which generally indicates a spicier pepper experience.

I tore off some bites before I ate the sandwich as a whole so that I could isolate the taste of the biscuit itself. It was somewhat dry on the edges – a common problem with fast food biscuits, I’ve noticed – but the inner parts were fluffy and moist.

There was a nice kick of heat and the delicious flavor of fresh jalapeños right away, mixed in with the more subtle but welcome taste of cheese. When eaten as a sandwich, the cheddar in the biscuit was overwhelmed by the more aggressive cheese slice, but the jalapeños remained, giving my breakfast sandwich a little heat to compliment the sausage patty’s spices.

Whataburger set out to make a Jalapeño Cheddar Biscuit, and they succeeded. The peppers give it a little kick, but not so much that you’re questioning why you decided to set your mouth on fire at 8 a.m. While the cheddar flavor disappears in sandwich form, it’s still notable in the biscuit itself.

However, if you’re more into something a little sweet for your morning commute, this biscuit probably isn’t for you. Maybe it’s just me, but it doesn’t seem like maple syrup and jalapeños would play together very well.

As for the contents of my sandwich, the sausage patty wasn’t really anything spectacular – average thickness; tender and juicy with the standard breakfast sausage seasonings. That said, it’d be fairly difficult to make a ground pork sausage patty that wasn’t tender. The cheese was just a regular slice of American. A teensy bit disappointing, since Whataburger tends to be a cut above your average fast food when it comes to their burger offerings.

So, if you’re already a fan of biscuit sandwiches, I’d definitely recommend you substitute your regular ol’ biscuit with a Whataburger Jalapeño Cheddar Biscuit. It’s a savory, slightly spicy change of pace, and it’s only available for a limited time served between 11 p.m. – 11 a.m., so why not give it a go. If this were a commercial, I’d end this review with a sentence like, “Spice up your morning routine!”

But this isn’t a commercial, so just, you know, try the damn biscuit.

(Nutrition Facts [Biscuit only] — 1 biscuit — 350 calories, 200 calories from fat, 22 grams of total fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 730 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, and 8 grams of protein.)

Item: Whataburger Jalapeño Cheddar Biscuit
Purchased Price: $2.64
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Whataburger
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Jalapeño peppers were plentiful and offered a nice kick. Dreaming of a sausage gravy road. Most of the biscuit was fluffy and moist. Finding a biscuit I wouldn’t throw in the trash. Cheddar in biscuit added a nice touch. Definite flavor upgrade from a regular biscuit.
Cons: Biscuit edges are dry. Owning a Limp Bizkit CD. Cheddar in biscuit disappears when paired with cheese slice. Sounding like a commercial. Breakfast not offered all day at Whataburger. Wow, that’s a lot of fat for one biscuit!

QUICK REVIEW: Panda Express Orange Chicken with Bacon

Marvo / May 1, 2014 / Reviews / 3 Comments

Purchased Price: $7.89 for 2-entree plate, plus 50 cent upcharge
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Panda Express
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Does bacon make Panda Express’ Orange Chicken better? Yes. Applewood-smoked bacon pieces are thick and their smoky and salty flavor goes well with the sweet orange sauce. I received more pieces of bacon than pieces of chicken (your servings may vary). Orange Chicken exterior remains slightly crispy even after being drenched with sauce and sitting in a tray for a while.
Cons: 50 cent upcharge for it. Its color is lighter than their Orange Chicken and it has a slightly milder flavor than their regular Orange Chicken, but the chicken gets easily stuck between my molars like their Orange Chicken. Panda Express says it’s spicy, but I’ve never considered their Orange Chicken to be spicy. Has almost double the sodium and saturated fat than regular Orange Chicken. Bacon not crispy, but what should I expect for bacon that’s been drenched with sauce and sitting in a tray for a while.

Nutrition Facts: 510 calories, 240 calories from fat, 27 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 1020 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 19 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fiber, and 21 grams of protein.

Fast Food Panda Express

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Jamoca Almond Fudge Iced Coffee

Jack / April 30, 2014 / Reviews / 4 Comments

I sometimes use the seasonal flavors at Dunkin’ Donuts as my only calendar.

Say what you want about a system of time based scientifically on the position of the Earth as it travels around the Sun, but I can tell when it’s spring when the heart-shaped donuts get replaced by the donuts with Peeps on them. It’s that simple—no equinoxes or solstices required.

This year though, accompanying those little marshmallow chicks plopped on top of donuts, Dunkin’ Donuts teamed up with corporate homie Baskin-Robbins to bring two new coffee and latte flavors based on popular ice cream flavors from the frozen treat chain: Cookie Dough and Jamoca Almond Fudge.

I immediately went for the Jamoca Almond Fudge, a flavor I used to get at a Baskin-Robbins in my hometown back when it peaked in the summer of ‘07. This was before more exciting and trendier places like Cold Stone Creamery distracted people and my old Baskin-Robbins was eventually replaced, with true poetic irony, by a FroYo joint.

But, having long since gotten over the pain of losing that beloved ice cream shop in a global conglomerate chain of over 6,500 locations, I never really got over the pain of losing that Jamoca Almond Fudge. I have always been a fan of nutty/chocolaty combos and I was hoping that the Dunkin’ version would do it justice, because Baskin-Robbins are often hard to come by.

Before I get started though, I gotta ask you all for some help. What the hell is “Jamoca”? Wikipedia tells me that it’s a portmanteau of the words Java (coffee) and Mocha, but doesn’t that just seem repetitive? Doesn’t “mocha” already mean chocolate and coffee? Is it possible that somewhere along the lines of coffee that is flavored like ice cream that is flavored like coffee and fudge that is flavored like almonds some things could have gotten a little mixed up?

But who cares! By the first sip all my etymological confusion disappeared faster than that late Baskin-Robbins of my younger days. I had opted for the iced coffee variety because I wanted to stay true to the whole “ice cream” deal and I was instantly thrilled. The first thing I noticed was that killer almond flavor, a perfectly nutty taste that went great with the original coffee-tinted ice cream, but even better in a cup of actual coffee. Fans of Dunkin’ Donuts’ hazelnut coffees rejoice—this one’s for you!

While it might sound obvious—it’s in the name for God’s sake—I couldn’t get over how distinctly fudgy it tasted. Seriously! All too often I find that things boasting a fudge flavor often just mean chocolate, and while there are of course much worse things in the world, I was definitely digging a true fudge flavor coupled with a lack of deception.

When it comes down to it, Jamoca Almond Fudge is perhaps the perfect flavor to transition over to an iced coffee. It maintains all the chilly creaminess and flavor of the original ice cream with the added benefit a more powerful coffee taste. While it may not be as much of an experience as an actual ice cream cone, this one, unlike the original from Baskin-Robbins, is perfectly socially acceptable to enjoy at 7:00 a.m. without looking like your life is falling apart.

(Nutrition Facts – Medium – 170 calories, 0.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 35 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Dunkin’ Donuts Jamoca Almond Fudge Iced Coffee
Purchased Price: $2.39
Size: Medium/24 fl oz.
Purchased at: Dunkin’ Donuts
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Intensely satisfying flavor that really does Baskin-Robbins’ flavor justice. Corporate partnerships. The fact that I was literally sitting in a Dunkin’ Donuts looking out the window at another Dunkin’ Donuts a little ways down the road when I bought this.
Cons: Ok, I only realized in retrospect that all three flavors come in latte and iced latte versions. (All the advertising I had seen made it appear that only buttery pecan comes in a latte variety. Whoops, I guess at the end of the day its all just a few squirts of flavored high-fructose corn syrup). Not socially acceptable to enjoy ice cream at 7:00 a.m.

Dunkin Dunkin Donuts Fast Food

REVIEW: McDonald’s Peaches & Crème Pie

Jeff / April 30, 2014 / Reviews / 14 Comments

Is it wrong to like McDonald’s pies over the traditional circular homey baked kind? Not any more wrong than laughing out loud in the theater during a sad scene. I apologized profusely to my wife when I erupted with guttural laughter as Christoph Waltz maniacally beat that elephant off-screen in “Water for Elephants.”

I don’t think animal abuse is funny at all but the scene was so corny, I had to laugh. Worse, I said sorry as I chuckled. Apologizing while snickering appears just as sincere as when your girlfriend who is about to dump you says, “We need to talk.”

What I will not apologize for is having a penchant for McDonald’s pies, which maybe even a bit borderline obsessive.

Famished after running mundane errands, the mind was elsewhere as my eyes were glazed staring at the drive-thru menu at McDonald’s. I knew my wife would get the Quarter Pounder with Cheese and no bun due to her gluten allergen. I was ready to follow suit until my eyes fixed on the pie offering… Peaches & Crème.

Images of fireworks, the mention of “Stephen Strange” in Captain America 2, and former WWE wrestler Chyna getting boogety-humped by X-Pac in the “leaked” sex video flashed in my mind.

I’ve eaten a variety of McDonald’s pies and while they don’t blow me away, they mostly always satisfy. It’s like a color by the numbers action film where everybody plays a familiar archetype. You know, the-sensitive-but-tough guy, the-jokey-but-tough-guy-when-it-counts, and the-misunderstood-jerk-who’s-actually-a-good-guy, blah blah blah. That’s how McDonald’s pies are to me, I love them but they aren’t exactly paradigm shifting.

Sometimes, however, there’s a detour in those films and you’re fully invested only hoping they can deliver.

That is the McDonald’s Peaches & Crème pie.

I’m serious and the bad news is, not only is it a limited offering but from my unscientific research, I don’t think they are widely available. It is not even listed in McDonald’s own website, which make me feel like I found the “secret” negative worlds in Super Mario Brothers.

I spent more time looking for the existence of this pie online than I did watching YouTube clips of unofficial appearances by Superman and Spiderman in Bollywood films.

The crust, as always, was golden brown. This crust was flecked with sugar crystals which welcomed you to take a big friggin’ bite into it. The crust was buttery and crispy with a perfect “Goldilocks zone” thickness that broke away in your mouth pleasantly the way Filo dough does.

The filling in the pie needs to taste good, but I think the texture is just as important as the filling. Maybe that’s why I like the clown’s pies so much, that mass produced crust is what I imagine what perfect pie crust is.

As for the fillings themselves, they are mundane and ordinary alone. The crème part tastes a little bit like cheap cream cheese frosting. The peach filling taste of reduced syrupy canned peaches has a slightly distant herby flavor, which is interesting in a very good way. The chunks of peaches are a nice touch to add another element of the mouthfeel equation, if there is such an equation.

However, when the peaches, crème, and crust are combined, it’s like alchemy. The pie is a cheap section of heaven, where the inventors of pogs and die cut comic book covers go (if you believe in heaven). And if they are there, I have a closet full of apologies they need to give me.

The crème really tones down the syrupy sweetness and adds that tiny addition of savory. It’s akin to something acidic to cut through something rich. And I cannot begin to truly explain the essential crust, which just brings it all together.

In all seriousness, if you can find it, it is worth a try. I know the strawberries and crème pies are still regularly sold and if you can’t find the limited peaches one, the strawberry version will give you a good idea of what this is all about. I sincerely hope this pie makes it to the regular line-up.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available on website.)

Item: McDonald’s Peaches & Crème Pie
Purchased Price: 89 cents
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: The crust, the filling and the crème all play an equal role of deliciousness. Sugar crystals on the crust. Chunks of peaches. Inappropriate laughing.
Cons: It’s a limited offering. If you eat the crème and the peaches alone (but who does that? And if you do, you need help). Inappropriate laughing.

Fast Food McDonald's

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Cookie Dough Iced Coffee

Natalie / April 29, 2014 / Reviews / 3 Comments

I remember when Cookie Monster was able to do whatever the hell he wanted. Cookies were a breakfast, cookies were a condiment, and if he wanted to sit in the greenroom scarfing down cookies like Joey Chestnut does hot dogs on the 4th of July, nobody was gonna kill his vibe. C was for cookie, and that was good enough for him.

Then after 40 years of letting him live like a free man, PBS had to get parental and alter his diet to reflect more moderate and healthy lifestyle choices. Through clenched teeth, the Cookie Monster was forced to declare that cookies were really just a “sometimes” food and that eggplant was cool too.

Now that The Man has killed his one pride and joy, I’m guessing you can find Cookie Monster spending every off the clock hour in a Dunkin’ Donuts, inhaling these Cookie Dough Iced Coffees to try to get back the feeling of his lost love.

These probably do not taste enough like cookie dough to completely fill the void, but they do taste close enough to temporarily soothe the heartbreak.

I was excited to try this new Baskin-Robbins inspired Dunkin’ Donuts product, not just because the two names fit easily into my accent that makes me drop the g’s at the end of my -ing verbs. I also was desperate to know what their interpretation of the cookie dough flavor would be. Earlier this year, the world brought us Cookie Dough Oreo cookies, and the overwhelming Internet consensus seemed to be that they tasted like coffee. So I was perplexed. Would this Cookie Dough Iced Coffee also taste like coffee? Would it taste like an Oreo?

No, but the people over at Dunkin’ have a better handle on the cookie dough flavor than the folks at Nabisco (although I would not have been disappointed had this tasted like an Oreo.) I can’t say that I would’ve immediately recognized this as cookie dough in a blind taste test. However, in my opinion the cookie dough experience is like 75 percent texture, so I don’t think I’d recognize anything as immediately having the flavor. When told that this is a Cookie Dough Iced Coffee, I have no trouble believing them.

The drink has a strong vanilla flavor, with a little bit of a chocolate aftertaste. It is very sweet, but I find that this is much more tolerable in cold coffee drinks than hot ones. You could probably ask for less syrup if you were inclined. I did not, since I also ordered it with skim milk, and already felt high maintenance enough for my local Dunkin’ Donuts that is tucked inside of a gas station.

Sadly, I do not live near a Baskin-Robbins, so I could not try the corresponding Cookie Dough Ice Cream and compare the two. I think you could probably do something great with the two together though. At one of my first jobs I learned that ice cream makes for an incredible coffee creamer, so I imagine that the combination of the coffee and the ice cream it was inspired by would be unreal. Your blood sugar would probably describe the spike it would get in the same way.

All in all, this is good, and I will probably order it again. It is not ice cream or actual cookie dough, but it is relatively close and is disguised as something acceptable to be having at 9 a.m. Stay strong, Cookie Monster, and keep drinking the iced coffees. They’ll never know the truth.

(Nutrition Facts – 16 oz with cream – 170 calories, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 135 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 24 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Dunkin’ Donuts Cookie Dough Iced Coffee
Purchased Price: $2.17
Size: 16 fl oz.
Purchased at: Dunkin’ Donuts
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Actually tastes reminiscent of cookie dough. Baskin-Robbins Dunkin’ Donuts is fun to say five times fast. Cold and sweet and refreshing. You can feel like you’re having cookie dough ice cream while everyone else thinks you’re a responsible adult. The Cookie Monster that didn’t answer to anyone. Caffeine boosts.
Cons: Potentially obnoxious coffee shop orders. Lack of Oreo flavored iced coffee. The plight of The Cookie Monster. Blood sugar spikes.

Coffee Dunkin Donuts Fast Food