REVIEW: McDonald’s Poutine (Canada)

McDonald's Poutine

Is there anything more Canadian than eating a poutine? Watching hockey, maybe. Or drinking coffee from Tim Horton’s. I’ve got a confession to make, though: I don’t particularly like hockey or Tim Horton’s. I know! I know! I’m pretty sure the only thing keeping me from being deported is my abiding love of poutine.

Seriously, what’s not to love? Fries. Check. Delicious. Cheese curds. Yep, delicious. Gravy. You know that’s delicious. So it’s no surprise that when you combine those elements, you (usually) wind up with a delicious final product.

Oddly enough, McDonald’s only recently started serving poutine in Canada (they’ve had it in Quebec for a while, but the rest of the country has been sadly poutine-free). This doesn’t seem like a big deal until you realize that McDonald’s was the last poutine hold-out among the big burger chains. That omission has finally been rectified.

It costs $3.99, which isn’t crazy expensive, nor is it a particularly great value for the amount of food you’re getting.

The biggest obstacle in McDonald’s quest to bring a great poutine to the masses: their very thinly-cut fries. Though McDonald’s fries are some of the better fast food fries out there, a poutine really requires a more substantial fry to hold up to the onslaught of gravy. And how does McDonald’s solve this issue? By doing nothing at all; sadly, the thin fries are just as problematic as you’d think.

To be fair, the idea of McD’s creating a separate type of fries just for their poutine is pretty much a pipe dream. It would be nice, but it’s never going to happen.

McDonald's Poutine Closeup

So yes, the fries sog up. In fact, they were soggy right from the first bite (though spending a couple of minutes taking pictures before I started eating probably didn’t help in that regard — but I suspect that this was a lost cause either way).

The gravy is a fairly generic chicken gravy; it tastes fine and gets the job done, but it’s nothing that anyone is going to get too excited over. If you’ve ever had a middling canned gravy from a supermarket, you know what to expect.

It also wasn’t quite hot enough. The heat level in a poutine is a bit of a balancing act; you don’t want it to be so hot that the curds completely liquefy, but they do need to soften a bit more than the curds did here.

The curds, however, are pretty good. The biggest test of a good cheese curd is whether or not it squeaks when you bite into it, and these had a decent amount of squeak.

And of course, kudos must go to McDonald’s for avoiding the cardinal sin of poutinedom — substituting shredded mozzarella for the cheese curds, or, even worse, shredded cheddar (the horror… the horror). Any restaurant that serves poutine with shredded cheese is basically announcing to the the world: “Hey, guess what? We’re garbage and we serve garbage!” Harsh? Maybe. True? You know it.

(Nutrition Facts – 510 calories, 30 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 1010 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fibre, 1 gram of sugar, and 17 grams of protein.)

Item: McDonald’s Poutine (Canada)
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: A passable poutine that doesn’t get anything horrifically wrong. Squeaky curds. Will satisfy a poutine craving in a pinch.
Cons: Thin fries that immediately sog up. Boring gravy. Not hot enough. A little overpriced for what you’re getting.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Egg White & Turkey Breakfast Sandwich

Jack in the Box Egg White & Turkey Breakfast Sandwich

Jack in the Box’s Egg White & Turkey Breakfast Sandwich is a weirdo!

Weirdo! Weirdo! Weirdo!

I thought it was going to have a turkey sausage patty or maybe some turkey bacon, like a normal breakfast sandwich, but it doesn’t. Instead it uses the same turkey found in Jack in the Box’s Grilled Sandwich.

Weirdo! Weirdo! Weirdo!

And it’s not layers of turkey, it’s just one slice that significantly sticks out from under the bun, making it look like the sandwich is sticking its tongue at me.

Weirdo! Weirdo! Weirdo!

The breakfast sandwich also comes topped with a tomato slice. What!? Tomato on a fast food breakfast sandwich?

Weirdo! Weirdo! Weirdo!

However, even though Jack in the Box’s Egg White & Turkey Sandwich is a weirdo, I love this little weirdo. And if loving this weirdo makes me a weirdo, then so be it! I’ll point my finger at myself and yell…

Weirdo! Weirdo! Weirdo!

The combination of turkey, American cheese, tomato, and egg with a toasted regular bun seems like something overnight Jack in the Box employees developed out of boredom during some downtime between the hours of 2 a.m. and 4:30 a.m. Thank you bored Jack in the Box employees (or a chef in Jack in the Box’s test kitchens), because I think it’s a wonderful way to start my morning.

Or afternoon.

Or evening.

Or end my night of debauchery, since this breakfast sandwich is available 24 hours a day.

What I like most about the sandwich are the egg whites, an #FFFFFF glob of protein with a noticeable buttery flavor. They have a nice, soft texture and I prefer it over Jack’s regular fried egg. Thankfully, egg whites can be substituted for the regular fried egg in any other breakfast sandwich at no extra cost. So get ready Jack in the Box employees for all my special breakfast orders.

Jack in the Box Egg White & Turkey Breakfast Sandwich Closeup

The sandwich doesn’t have a sauce, but the cheese melts to the point where it looks and gives the sandwich flavor like a sauce. Because there’s only a slice of turkey, it doesn’t really stand out flavor-wise, but it’s noticeable. As for the tomato slice, it’s still weird seeing it on a breakfast sandwich, even after having three of these within the past week. I can’t think of any other fast food place that does that, but I hope others follow because the lone tomato slice does add flavor and a slight crunchy texture to the sandwich.

I have to say, I find it funny I’m writing about the American cheese and tomato in a positive manner, because I usually write stuff like “the cheese was there only to prevent the other ingredients from falling out” or “the tomato was there only so you could say you ate veggies today.” Times have changed.

Last year, I gave the McDonald’s Egg White Delight a positive review. But I have to admit Jack in the Box’s Egg White & Turkey Breakfast Sandwich is better tasting, especially the egg whites. Also, thanks to the American cheese and tomato, it’s more colorful than the Egg White Delight, which looks like someone used a sepia photo filter on it.

It’s definitely weird looking.

Weirdo! Weirdo! Weirdo! McDonald’s Egg White Delight is a weirdo!

(Nutrition Facts – 248 calories, 52 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 22 milligrams of cholesterol, 833 milligrams of sodium, 241 milligrams of potassium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 18 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tasty way to start my morning. Buttery egg whites, American cheese, and tomato slice make this a yummy sandwich. Cheese and tomato actually add flavor. Lower in fat and calories than Jack’s other breakfast sandwiches. Available all day. Proud about being a weirdo as an adult.
Cons: Tomato on a breakfast sandwich is weird. Not much fiber compared with the McDonald’s Egg White Delight, which uses a whole grain muffin. Only one slice of turkey. Still high in sodium. Being called a weirdo as a kid.

QUICK REVIEW: Taco Bell Grilled Stuft Nacho

Taco Bell Grilled Stuft Nacho

Purchased Price: $1.79*
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Great value for its size (each side is about seven inches). Super cheesy thanks to TWO nacho sauces (the usual Taco Bell nacho cheese sauce and their new zesty nacho sauce). It smells like the wonderful Crunchwrap. Six grams of fiber.
Cons: There isn’t much flavor beyond the seasoned beef and cheese. Most of the red tortilla strips were soggy. New zesty nacho sauce wasn’t zesty enough for me. Seems like another Taco Bell product except in a different form. Reduced fat sour cream gets lost among the two nacho sauces and is just lubricant that allows the seasoned beef to fall out easier. The word “stuft” still bothers me and my computer’s spellcheck.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll pay less than I did.

Taco Bell Grilled Stuft Nacho Innards

Nutrition Facts: 570 calories, 290 calories from fat, 32 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 960 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Jack in the Box Southern Style Biscuits (Bacon, Egg & Cheese and Sausage, Egg & Cheese)

Jack in the Box Southern Style Biscuits (Bacon, Egg & Cheese and Sausage, Egg & Cheese)

Purchased Price: 2 for $4.00*
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Bacon, Egg & Cheese)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Sausage, Egg & Cheese)
Pros: Reasonably priced at 2 for $3 (or $4, if you live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean). The biscuits are tasty and have a nice, mild buttermilk flavor. It’s available all day. The Sausage, Egg & Cheese is better than the Bacon, Egg & Cheese because the sausage does a better job of trying to get its flavor past the biscuit. Biscuit doesn’t have a lot of trans fat like a particular fast food chain’s does.
Cons: I understand the biscuit is the highlight, but it shouldn’t overwhelm the other ingredients, especially the sausage and bacon. Jack in the Box bacon is subpar and wasn’t spread evenly on my sandwich. Egg flavor and it’s butteriness isn’t there thanks to the biscuit. Biscuit falls apart a bit too easily.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

Jack in the Box Southern Style Biscuits Sausage, Egg & Cheese

Jack in the Box Southern Style Biscuits Bacon, Egg & Cheese

Nutrition Facts: Bacon, Egg & Cheese – 410 calories, 227 calories from fat, 25 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 242 milligrams of cholesterol, 1176 milligrams of sodium, 188 milligrams of potassium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 16 grams of protein. Sausage, Egg & Cheese – 534 calories, 340 calories from fat, 38 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 264 milligrams of cholesterol, 1240 milligrams of sodium, 228 milligrams of potassium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 18 grams of protein.)

REVIEW: Domino’s Sandwich Slices (Italian Club and Garden Chicken Club)

Domino's Sandwich Slice Box

When it comes to new fast food items in test markets, I’ve always been a bridesmaid, never the bride. Seeing other people in test markets get to try delicious (or not) new menu items made me unreasonably jealous.

Well now it’s my turn, bitches! Eat it! Oh wait, you can’t yet. But I will. And I’ll leave any further bragging out of the rest of these paragraphs.

When I first got the promotional email from Domino’s advertising their new Sandwich Slices, I was interested; but once I read the bottom of the email, I went from interested to excited: “We don’t mean to brag, but we think our new Sandwich Slice is pretty amazing. And we want you to be one of the first people in Phoenix – actually one of the first people in the world – to try it.”

I felt like a pizza princess! Or, in this case, the Sovereign of Sandwich Slices.

The promo email also called them “The best thing since sliced bread. Literally.” If we’re going to go down the literally meme hole, I’d think maybe Alexander Fleming would object to this statement; although, you could argue that sliced bread played a part in the discovery of penicillin, so…penicillin, sliced bread, Domino’s Sandwich Slices. Sharing the spotlight.

Getting to the Slices themselves – when I saw them, I was immediately reminded of Stouffer’s French Bread Pizzas. The concept is pretty much the same: the foundation seems to be part of Domino’s Oven Baked Sandwiches, which is then topped like a pizza.

Domino’s advertises four different Sandwich Slice varieties: Pepperoni Garlic Bread, Ham & 4 Cheese, Garden Garlic Chicken and Italian Club, but you can create your own with whatever toppings Domino’s has to offer.

I went with the Garden Garlic Chicken and Italian Club, because Domino’s suggested them and that meant I wouldn’t have to make any agonizing topping choices on my own.

While I chose two Slices with different toppings, they shared some fundamental similarities. First of all, the sandwich bread-to-pizza ratio was just right – there wasn’t so much bread that it overwhelmed the toppings, but the bread was able to support the toppings without caving or becoming soggy. That said, it wasn’t at all tough and had that oven-baked quality to it.

Each Sandwich Slice was 7-8” long. The banner outside my local Domino’s declared that they are “great for lunch!”, with which I both agree and disagree. On the one hand, it sucks when you’re at work craving pizza and nobody else wants to get in on that with you, at which point you can either get a sad personal pizza or a regular-sized pizza and look like a giant glutton.

Sandwich Slices seem like a great solution to this problem, except I found that one Slice wasn’t quite filling enough, but two Slices would have given me a case of Work Itis, which is never good.

Perhaps someone with a larger appetite than mine would have found two to be just right, but I think if they’d just extended their slices out to maybe 12 inches, that would have been the perfect lunch portion.

That said, I was pleased that the toppings did a good job of reaching all the edges of the bread. I hate when the first bite of a sandwich is nothing but bread. Well, the cheese at least did a good job.

Here’s the thing: if you’ve ever been in a situation where there are communal pizzas, you’ve probably done the Instant Topping Calculation – that thing where your eyeballs scan the pie, looking for the pieces that were blessed with the most toppings. Don’t act like you haven’t done it.

With the Sandwich Slice, you have to take your chances, much like you would hope that ordering a jalapeño burger from a drive-thru would result in getting more than one pepper slice on it.

Here is where we get to the individual Slices.

Domino's Sandwich Slice Italian Club

Domino’s describes the Italian Club Sandwich Slice as “Salami, ham, bacon and vine-ripened tomatoes over a creamy ranch sauce. Baked with a cheese blend of 100% real mozzarella and provolone on a slice of our signature rustic bread.”

I’m going to quietly ignore the fact that ranch sauce has absolutely no business belonging on something called an Italian Club, but I will say that it did work surprisingly well with the meats, possibly because it was very understated twang. While I enjoyed that, I guess ranch fans might have wanted more.

Domino's Sandwich Slice Italian Club Halves

Speaking of more, what I would have wanted more of was salami and bacon. My Italian Club Sandwich Slice was very ham-heavy; while this made for an enjoyable sandwich vibe, I do find it the most pedestrian of the three meats.

Domino's Sandwich Slice Garden Garlic Chicken

As for the Garden Garlic Chicken, Domino’s calls it “Grilled chicken breast, vine-ripened tomatoes and fresh baby spinach over a garlic parmesan sauce and a cheese blend of 100% real mozzarella and provolone. Baked on a slice of our signature rustic bread.”

I much preferred the Garden Garlic Chicken over the Italian Club. There was a piece of tender chicken in pretty much every bite, complimented nicely by the juicy tomatoes.

Domino's Sandwich Slice Garden Garlic Chicken Halves

The real star here was the garlic parmesan sauce. It went great with the toppings and was so garlicky I’m pretty sure I could have fended off a vampire from a hundred feet away. The spinach seemed to disappear into the background, but the sauce combined with the cheese and the other toppings more than made up for this deficiency.

All in all, I found Domino’s Sandwich Slices to be a success. While there were some faults, like the slightly too-small size of the Slice and the fast food vagaries of the toppings, but each Sandwich Slice was covered well and the bread base held up well in both taste and topping support. Not a bad deal for a $2.99 lunch treat.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available on Domino’s website.)

Item: Domino’s Sandwich Slices (Italian Club and Garden Chicken Club)
Purchased Price: $2.99 each
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Domino’s Pizza
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Italian Club)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Garden Chicken Club)
Pros: Nice bread-to-toppings ratio. Being in a test market! The garlic and chicken were delicious together. Penicillin. Toppings reached all edges of the sandwich. Instant Topping Calculation.
Cons: Not quite big enough for a satisfying lunch. Getting Work Itis. Not enough salami or bacon on the Italian Club. Bridesmaid dresses. Spinach seemed to disappear on the Garden Chicken Club.