Fast Food – Page 216 – The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Wendy’s Flatbread Grilled Chicken Sandwich (Smoky Honey Mustard & Asiago Ranch)

Jasper / April 25, 2013 / Reviews / 12 Comments

If you’ve watched more than 10 minutes of live television in the last few weeks, you’ve almost certainly seen the ubiquitous commercials for the new Wendy’s Flatbread sandwiches. And if you’ve already seen the commercials, then you invariably have two questions. These are the two answers:

1) Yes, the sandwiches are actually quite good.
2) The redhead’s name is Morgan Smith Goodwin.

If you want to learn more about 2), you’ll have to go down that internet wormhole for yourself. I do, however, have plenty more information on 1).

Let’s start with the Smoky Honey Mustard Flatbread. The simpler of the two sandwiches, it’s got grilled chicken, mixed greens, two slices of tomatoes, and a whole lot of honey mustard inside the flatbread. The flatbread itself really is the star of the show here – with various grains and seeds offering some crunch to complement the otherwise thick and chewy bread, it’s tasty and filling and just feels healthier than everything else on the menu.

The greens are also useful in that regard, with leafier and presumably more nutritious varieties than plain old iceberg lettuce. All good news if maybe you’re getting a late jump on your spring diet, and maybe your friend is throwing a too-early-in-the-season-and-no-one’s-swimsuit-ready party in the Hamptons soon, and maybe your mother recently told you your pants look tight from the extra pounds in your butt. These are all complete hypotheticals, so you definitely didn’t hurt my feelings, Mom.

The nomenclature of these new products is weird but appropriate; perhaps the flatbread comes before the grilled chicken because there’s so much more of the former than the latter. The chicken was juicy and well-seasoned and generally very tasty, but there just wasn’t enough of it. Each flatbread contained what looked to be half a grilled chicken fillet sliced into four or five strips, which couldn’t cover the entirety of the sandwich.

I took several bites that consisted of only bread and honey mustard, particularly around the hinge of the flatbread. And speaking of the honey mustard, I couldn’t detect any smokiness at all. It wouldn’t surprise me if it was the exact same honey mustard as the dipping sauce for the chicken nuggets. I guess “smoky mustard” is one of those phrases that gets thrown around but actually means nothing, like “elegant wine” or “corporate values” or “do you know who I am? I’m Reese Witherspoon!”

The Asiago Ranch Flatbread Grilled Chicken Sandwich has a couple more ingredients than the Smoky Honey Mustard, with three strips of bacon, asiago cheese, and ranch dressing instead of honey mustard. As you might expect, this sandwich had a much stronger taste.

The excellent-as-usual Wendy’s bacon added texture and flavor, while the cheese and ranch dressing made for a very rich combination. Again, I thought there was too little chicken. Also, the extra toppings here made for a much messier eating experience, which should be an extra consideration if your spring diet is a subset to the overall life goal of being less of a slob.

I liked both of the new Wendy’s Flatbread Grilled Chicken sandwiches, and each of them would make for a decent-sized meal on its own (I bought them at the same time but saved half of each for lunch the next day). If I had to choose just one, I would probably go with the Smoky Honey Mustard Flatbread – it’s cheaper ($3.59 vs. $4.19) and has fewer calories (370 vs. 530), and its milder flavors suited my taste buds better than the richness of the Asiago Ranch. I’d recommend you go try either one for yourself. If nothing else, Wendy’s franchises seem to have lots of Morgan Smith Goodwin cardboard cutouts these days.

(Nutrition Facts – Smoky Honey Mustard – 370 calories, 150 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 550 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 22 grams of protein. Asiago Ranch – 530 calories, 270 calories from fat, 30 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 940 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 30 grams of protein.)

Other Wendy’s Smoky Honey Mustard Flatbread & Asiago Ranch Flatbread reviews:
Grub Grade
Foodette Reviews
Brand Eating
Man Reviews Food

Item: Wendy’s Flatbread Grilled Chicken Sandwich (Smoky Honey Mustard & Asiago Ranch)
Purchased Price: $3.59 (Smoky Honey Mustard)
Purchased Price: $4.19 (Asiago Ranch)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Smoky Honey Mustard)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Asiago Ranch)
Pros: Flatbread is thick and chewy. Grains and seeds make it feel healthier. Chicken is juicy and well-seasoned. Greens are leafier than regular iceberg lettuce. Wendy’s bacon is always excellent. Both sandwiches have relatively few calories. Morgan Smith Goodwin is an Alyson Hannigan lookalike. Celebrity DUI jokes.
Cons: Not enough chicken. Honey mustard wasn’t smoky at all. Asiago Ranch was a little too rich for me. Asiago Ranch was very messy to eat. Spring dieting. Yes, fine, I didn’t wait for lunch to finish the sandwiches. Please don’t steal any Morgan Smith Goodwin cutouts.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Egg White Delight McMuffin

Marvo / April 24, 2013 / Reviews / 18 Comments

When I saw the marketing photos of McDonald’s new Egg White Delight, I thought it looked as if someone took a photo of a regular McDonald’s Egg McMuffin and then added a sepia tone or an Instagram photo filter to it. Thanks to its egg whites, white cheddar cheese, and Canadian bacon on a whole grain English muffin, the breakfast sandwich doesn’t have much color.

The Egg McMuffin is the healthiest McDonald’s breakfast sandwich. Well, WAS the healthiest because the Egg White Delight is being marketed as a healthier-for-you Egg McMuffin. A regular Egg McMuffin has 300 calories 12 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 260 milligrams of cholesterol, 780 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of fiber, and 18 grams of protein. An Egg White Delight has 250 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 800 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of fiber, and 18 grams of protein.

Hmm, 40 percent less fat, 90 percent less cholesterol, and 50 fewer calories? Sounds like it’s going to be 40 percent less fun, 90 percent less contentment, and 50 fewer satisfying chews. But, surprisingly, the Egg White Delight was kind of nice.

There’s a noticeable flavor difference between the two breakfast sandwiches. With the Egg McMuffin, the egg and cheese stand out more, but with the Egg White Delight, I thought the Canadian bacon and cheese were front and center. The egg whites do have a little flavor, but they mostly freak me out because they look like a pale lettuce leaf that was peeled from the inner most layers of a lettuce head.

I’m glad the Canadian bacon’s flavor shines through in the Egg White Delight because in the Egg McMuffin the Canadian bacon is being…well, Canadian. It’s being nice and letting the egg and cheese be at the forefront. The lean meat’s saltiness does well with the saltiness and flavor of the white cheddar. As for the English muffin, just like most Egg McMuffins I’ve had, it has crispy edges and does a wonderful job with containing the sandwich, making sure nothing falls out.

The white cheddar, which was also used on McDonald’s Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger, has a slightly better flavor than the orange American cheese. Or my taste buds feel that way because they’re tired of eating the orange stuff with Big Macs and McDoubles and are happy about the change. While the white cheddar is slightly better tasting, it doesn’t melt as well as the American cheese slices. Any part of the cheese that was caressed by the warmth of the toasted English muffin, egg whites, and Canadian bacon was somewhat melted. But any part of the cheese that stuck out of the sandwich was hard.

I’m surprised by how much I enjoyed the McDonald’s Egg White Delight because I thought it was going to taste as awful as their McLean Deluxe. But then again, maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised because I’m used to eating egg whites and egg substitutes. So I guess all I have to say is:

Gonna buy that baby, gonna take a bite,
gonna grab some Egg White Delight.
My motto’s always been; if it’s lite, it might be all right.
Why eat something that could make your pants tight.
When you may chew on something healthier to start your day.
And they help compensate for the hash browns anyway.

Thinkin’ of you’s workin’ up my appetite
looking forward to a little Egg White Delight.
Fryin’ Canadian bacon and toastin’ muffins make taste buds ignite
and the thought of eatin’ you is getting so exciting.

10:30 AM isn’t in sight. Egg White Delight. Egg White Delight.

(Nutrition Facts – 250 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 800 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of sugar, 5 grams of fiber, 18 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A, 25% calcium, and 10% iron.)

Item: McDonald’s Egg White Delight McMuffin
Purchased Price: $3.89 (The price is higher than you’ll probably pay because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Canadian bacon and cheese stand out. As good as an Egg McMuffin. It’s healthier than an Egg McMuffin. Toasted English muffin with slightly crispy edges. Afternoon Delight.
Cons: Cheese doesn’t melt very well. Doesn’t have much color; looks like someone put an Instagram filter on it. Egg looks like pale lettuce. McLean Deluxe.

Fast Food McDonald's

REVIEW: Burger King Donut Holes

Margaret / April 19, 2013 / Reviews / 5 Comments

I’ve developed a few personal rules about breakfast:

Don’t mix orange juice with coffee.

Don’t put grapefruit in the omelette.

Don’t put broccoli in the chocolate ice cream.

If you want a donut, get one.

The last of these, while the seemingly simplest of the bunch, is not always easy. When the craving for a rotund chunk of fried dough strikes, there’s no stopping it, but, in a city where the only fresh-made Krispy Kreme is in an underground cement “garden” and the price of artisan donuts could empty the bank, it’s easy to find yourself stranded in lower Manhattan without a reasonably priced fried dough option in sight…but what’s this?! Burger King offering me instant puffs of fried dough?

It proposed such unknown…and yet such happiness. And are we to deny ourselves potential happiness for fear of the unknown? Nay, dear readers! We are not chicken-bellied fools! We boldly go forth and pursue happiness!

It may be a Whopper box, but you can’t fool me!

You donuts and your secret identities.

I take a bite and, ahhh, yes, warm donut holes. Or rather, doughy, cube-like shapes. Nothing scary at all. At the same time, nothing too spectacular. On first bite, the dough is warm and a bit chewy, the glaze sticky and sugary. This is a yeast dough, to be sure, somewhat reminiscent of the cross between a grocery store donut and a brioche roll.

However, this joyous experience is time-sensitive. Give these suckers two minutes and the dough takes on taste and texture of a frozen Pillsbury dinner roll that’s been put in the microwave a few seconds. The eating process gets to be a bit of a calisthenic session for the jaw.

The glaze was simple enough, tasting mostly of sugar, sugar, and sugar, a one-note satisfaction to which I’m especially keen on, although I wouldn’t have argued if a little vanilla or cinnamon showed up in there. Both in the warm and cool phases, the glaze remained sticky. I was hoping this sugary patina may dry and crackle along the edges like a Krispy Kreme, but it remained shiny and thin as the wax on a 1957 Ferrari Testa Rossa at a car show.

One of the more frustrating qualities of fast food restaurants is the 10:30 breakfast shutdown. Oh, the days that have passed where my 4:30 p.m. sausage biscuit craving is left unfulfilled! Luckily, BK put these donut holes on their all-day menu, so, if the craving hits, you can trust BK will be there with your yeast rolls and sugar.

But, overall, I don’t think I’m up to buying these again. Maybe it was the weather or the lunch rush, but the dry dough and thin glaze didn’t fill the empty donut pocket in my soul. If you really, really need a glazed fix or enjoy microwaved dough, these are an acceptable stand-in, but I would recommend the grocery store Krispy Kreme first.

(Nutrition Facts – 5 donut holes – 280 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 300 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 18 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.)

Other Burger King Donut Holes reviews:
Brand Eating
Man Reviews Food
Serious Eats

Item: Burger King Donut Holes
Purchased Price: $1.40
Size: 5 donut holes
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Available any time of day. Sweet glaze. A good idea. Nice portion.
Cons: Dry. Tastes of microwaved dinner roll. Tough to chew. Weak glaze. Grapefruit in an omelette. Low Krispy Kremes population in Manhattan

Burger King Fast Food

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Old Fashioned Butter Pecan Iced Coffee

Adam / April 8, 2013 / Reviews / 4 Comments

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always struggled with walking into Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s not that I’m drunk and end up stumbling into glass doors or anything like that, but rather, it’s the unfortunate predisposition I have to being both very, very indecisive, as well as having insatiable cravings for the kinds of things that keep dentists working overtime.

Never mind the fact that Dunkin’ Donuts presents me with a sugary catalogue filled with fried dough in all shapes and sizes, but I oftentimes find myself in a Dunkin’ that shares their space with the 31 flavors of Baskin-Robbins.

What starts out as a late afternoon coffee pick-me-up can easily turn into three scoops of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, followed by the inevitable and actual physical struggle of walking out of Dunkin’ Donuts thanks to a sugar high not seen since that fat kid in Matilda ate that whole chocolate cake.

The way I see it, the new Baskin-Robbins-inspired iced coffee flavors from Dunkin’ are, or at least should be, the ideal way to kill two birds with one stone and get both my coffee kick and ice cream sugar fix (as for working donut ingestion into that mix, I leave that up to Baskin-Robbins’ R&D).

Since I recently returned from a business trip in which I experienced the full brunt of that sweet southern concoction of nuts, butter, cream, and sugar known as pralines, I felt like the Old Fashioned Butter Pecan Iced Coffee was calling my name. And because I stress the utmost in scientific and accurate reporting on all things tooth decaying and artery clogging, I made sure to grab a cone of Baskin-Robbins’ Old Fashioned Butter Pecan Ice Cream at the same time.

The Old Fashioned Butter Pecan Iced Coffee didn’t taste exactly like the ice cream flavor that shares its name, but the former is still very good. Because I wish for my iced coffee to have the rich taste of actual milk fat and not just the watery and dull taste of lactic acid, I chose to have my iced coffee with cream instead of skim milk. I highly suggest this.

The syrup itself is plenty sweet, but not cloying in the way you’d expect from the stuff that gives snow cones their flavor. It’s actually remarkably balanced when taken with the rest of the beverage, with a roasted pecan flavor that’s only heightened by the mellow and smooth Dunkin’ coffee. There’s also a depth of sweetness that tastes like brown sugar or maple syrup.

Taking turns sipping from my iced coffee and licking my Butter Pecan Ice Cream cone, I found both products enjoyable, if moderately different in flavor. The iced coffee focused the pecan flavor more in terms of what I would call a “creamery fresh” sensation with a sophisticated roasted vibe, while the ice cream drew most of its flavor from the buttery and oily flavors of the big ass pecan sticking out of the cone.

I didn’t find Dunkin’ Donuts’ take on sister chain Baskin-Robbins’ Old Fashioned Butter Pecan Ice Cream to be an exact replication, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a bold and interesting new take in the overcrowded fast food iced coffee market which screams for flavors beyond vanilla, hazelnut, and caramel. The roasted and full-flavored coffee notes, as well as the brown sugar, give the Old Fashioned Butter Pecan Iced Coffee a kind of pralines and cream flavor that’s in some ways preferable to the “Old Fashioned” Butter Pecan flavor of the Baskin-Robbins ice cream, and much more lively than the par-for-the-course shot of vanilla-flavored syrup.

(Nutrition Facts – small – 140 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and 6% calcium.)

Item: Dunkin’ Donuts Old Fashioned Butter Pecan Iced Coffee
Purchased Price: $1.69
Size: Small
Purchased at: Dunkin’ Donuts
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Much better than standard iced coffee syrup. Tastes like butter pecan. Creamery fresh taste has roasted pecan flavor thanks to the smoky notes of coffee. Pralines ‘n Cream thing going on. Killing two birds with one stone. Dunking ice cream in coffee gives new meaning to the ‘Dunkin’ in Dunkin Donuts.
Cons: Doesn’t have actual pecans in it. Butter flavor could use some work. Finding a way to work donuts into the equation

Coffee Dunkin Donuts Fast Food

REVIEW: Pizza Hut Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza

Matt / April 5, 2013 / Reviews / 19 Comments

Pizza Hut likes to do things differently. In the past, they’ve been known to shove hot dogs inside of their pizza crusts, or even decorate the perimeter of a pie with cheeseburgers. It seems that Pizza Hut has once again decided to deviate from the traditional pizza crust formula with the introduction of the new Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza, which was launched in the United States on April 3 and will be available for a limited time only.

The Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza encircles a pizza with cheese pockets containing a blend of five different cheeses: asiago, fontina, mozzarella, provolone, and white cheddar. For just $12.99, hungry citizens all over the US can purchase a single topping Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza. Today, I was one of those citizens.

As my stomach growled with unimaginable voracity, I picked up the phone and dialed my nearest Pizza Hut. The exchange went something like this…

Pizza Hut Employee: Pizza Hut. How can I help you?

Me: Hi, I’d like to order a Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza.

Employee: …a what?

Me: A Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza.

Employee: Do you mean…a Stuffed Crust Pizza?

Me: No, I mean a Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza.

Employee: *silence*

Me: It’s a new pizza that was released yesterday. Do you have it?

Employee: Oh, umm…please hold.

After being placed on hold for a short while, the employee returned and allowed me to finish my order, assuring me it would be thirty minutes until my pizza arrived. I was nervous, worried that the delivery person would hand me a pizza box containing a normal, non-crazy pizza.

I can only imagine the chaos that occurred at that Pizza Hut when I hung up the phone: employees running every which way, knocking over boxes of crusts, cheeses, and sauces, searching for some sort of clue to help them learn what exactly a “Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza” is, and exactly how one can be prepared. Soon, a riot begins, and a few unfortunate individuals lose their lives while searching for the Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza recipe.

(A moment of silence for the victims of the Great Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza Massacre of 2013.)

The thirty minutes I spent waiting for my pizza were long and trying. Eventually, the delivery person arrived, and I gave him the cash in exchange for his Cheesy Crust. I opened the box, and found myself standing before a pizza somewhat shaped like a chrysanthemum. Extending from the main body of the pizza were sixteen cheesy prongs, begging to be devoured. I could wait no longer; I picked up my first slice and took a bite.

The main pizza portion of Pizza Hut’s new Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza offers few surprises. The sauce is Pizza Hut’s usual sweet tomato sauce, and the cheese provides a pretty standard mozzarella taste. The crust, however, is noticeably thinner than a standard Pizza Hut pizza’s crust, providing a bit less support, which leads to a sagging slice. However, this might not be deemed an issue for fans of Domino’s and Papa John’s.

The real difference shines through with the pockets of cheese. Whether eaten before the rest of the slice or after, the five cheese blend tastes noticeably different compared to the rest of the pizza. The lack of sauce in the pockets really serves to highlight the flavor of the cheeses. I was unable to identify the unique flavor of any of the five cheeses. Instead, the five cheese flavors blend into one uniform taste, which comes through as slightly sharper than the standard Pizza Hut mozzarella.

The texture of the cheese inside the pockets is nearly identical to the texture of the cheese in the main body of the pizza, though slightly more spongy. I was hoping that the crust surrounding the pockets would be crispier than the rest of the crust, but it was softer than expected, most likely moistened by the cheese that sat inside of the pockets.

The pizza, though slightly overcooked, was still pretty satisfying. I imagine it would be best eaten straight out of the oven, with the cheese inside of the pockets still slightly melted from the heat. As the pizza cools down, the cheese becomes more spongy and less appealing in general.

Overall, the Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza was a pleasant deviation from the standard pizza offered by Pizza Hut, but I feel like the inclusion of the cheese pockets was not enough to warrant a repeat purchase of this pizza. Its flavor is not a significant improvement over the standard pizza’s flavor, and in my opinion, Stuffed Crust is a much better option for those pizza fans looking for that extra cheese kick. All things considered, I encourage any cheese-lovers out there to try the Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza while it lasts!

This review is dedicated to the victims of the Great Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza Massacre of 2013: Michael “Cheesy Crust” Robinson III, Edward “Big Eddie” McPizzaPants, and Sergeant Tony O’Sauce. Our love goes out to their friends and family.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available on website.)

Item: Pizza Hut Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza
Purchased Price: $12.99
Size: Large
Purchased at: Pizza Hut
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: An enjoyable pizza. Five cheese! Cheesy prongs.
Cons: Sagging slices. Five cheese flavors blend into single flavor. Unappetizing when cooled down. Cheesy massacres.

Fast Food Pizza Pizza Hut