Tag: Fast Food

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Chipotle Chicken Club Sandwich

Marvo 9 Comments

Jack in the Box Chipotle Chicken Club

I hate to admit, but Jack in the Box has taught me a lot about food.

The fast food chain introduced me to the tough-on-the-outside-but-soft-on-the-inside ciabatta bread. With a breakfast menu that’s available all-day, they assured me it’s okay to eat breakfast at three in the afternoon, seven at night, or right before I go to bed. And, Jack in the Box got me acquainted with the smoky and spicy chipotle pepper when they released their Chipotle Chicken Sandwich in the late 2000s.

Back then, the extent of my chili pepper knowledge didn’t go beyond the jalapeño, I believed breakfast ended at 10:30 in the morning because that’s when McDonald’s stopped serving it, and the breads Subway offered were the fanciest I knew of.

Jack in the Box’s latest chicken sandwich, which uses the chipotle pepper, is the Chipotle Chicken Club. The sandwich combines a spicy crispy chicken breast topped with chipotle sauce, hickory smoked bacon, American cheese, lettuce and tomato on toasted sourdough bread.

After unwrapping the sandwich from its paper enclosure, I was instantly a little disappointed with its size. It makes a newborn kitten look big and it doesn’t look like it’s worth the $4.79 I paid for just the sandwich. The Chipotle Chicken Club Combo here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean is $5.49, while most other places it’s $4.99, so the sandwich will be cheaper where most of you live. However, I wouldn’t complain so much about its size if I could buy the sandwich for $3.99.

While I’m in the complaining mood, I’d like to point out the thin chicken breast patty I got with my sandwich. Look at it in the photo below. They must’ve gotten it from the most flat-chested chickens on the farm. However, while the chicken patty was thin, it was also crispy. Well, the edges at least. Even after the 10 minute ride home from the drive-thru to my place, the chicken patty had a lot of crispiness. However, what was even more impressive was how much crispiness it had the following morning.

Jack in the Box Chipotle Chicken Club Innards

Oh, I should let you know that I now have a habit of splitting a fast food sandwich in two before eating it and putting the other half in the fridge so I don’t consume all the fat and sodium in one sitting. Anyhoo, after I microwaved the other half for about 40 seconds in its wrapper, I took a bite and noticed the chicken patty’s ability to maintain some of its crispiness. Ain’t fast food technology scary great?

With my complaining about the sandwich’s size and the flat chicken patty, you’d think I don’t care for the Chipotle Chicken Club. Well, I have to say it’s my favorite Jack in the Box chicken sandwich, because the chipotle sauce makes up for most of the sandwich’s faults. The chipotle sauce tastes as if Jack in the Box combined their taco sauce with their mayonnaise, but with a bit more smokiness. It’s a tasty sauce and it gives the sandwich a nice heat that might cause some of you to reach for some cool liquid relief. I was surprised the sauce had flavor and wasn’t all about the heat, like other chipotle items I’ve tried.

If you’re a bacon fan, the amount of piggie in this sandwich will satisfy your pork needs. I wouldn’t call the bacon included crisp, but I wouldn’t call it limp either. The sourdough bread is a little greasy, but as someone who has consumed his fair share of Sourdough Jacks, it wasn’t a surprise. As for the tomatoes, they made my sandwich look like Quasimodo’s back and didn’t really add anything, unless you consider having an ingredient that easily falls out something. I’d suggest ordering the sandwich without tomatoes or discard them and make the farmers who harvested them cry.

If you’re planning to try the delicious Jack in the Box Chipotle Chicken Club, do so soon because it’s only available for a limited time.

(Nutrition Facts – 686 calories, 329 calories from fat, 35 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 77 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,292 milligrams of sodium, 580 milligrams of potassium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 34 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Chipotle Chicken Club Sandwich
Price: $4.79 (sandwich only)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tasty, spicy chipotle sauce. My new favorite Jack in the Box chicken sandwich. A good amount of bacon. Impressive, but eerie, crispiness. Reasonably priced combo, if you’re paying $4.99. My new found willpower to not eat an entire fast food sandwich in one sitting.
Cons: Thin chicken patty. Kind of small. The tomatoes are useless. Awesome source of saturated fat and sodium. My lack of chili pepper knowledge in the mid-2000s. I used to think Subway bread was fancy.

REVIEW: McDonald’s McCafe Cherry Berry Chiller

Marvo 16 Comments

McDonald's Cherry Berry Chiller

McDonald’s has always helped customers beat the heat during the summer months. For example, they’ve always filled three-fourths of their soft drink cups with ice before they add any beverage. If that’s not the definition of generous, then I don’t know what is.

This time last year McDonald’s rolled out their frozen strawberry lemonade to help cool us down. This year, the Golden Arches have a new frozen beverage, the Cherry Berry Chiller.

Rhyming AND alliteration? That’s a good start in my book.

The Cherry Berry Chiller, which sounds like something Care Bears would drink to keep cool in Care-a-lot and the Forest of Feelings, is made by blending ice with 100 percent fruit juice. Think of it as a 7-Eleven Slurpee for adults. Oh wait, I forgot, margaritas are Slurpees for adults. Okay, think of it as a better-for-you Slurpee.

At this point, I would like to say I really love the blenders at McDonald’s. They do an awesome job of crushing ice into fine crystals that I enjoy crushing even more between my teeth. I wish my $30 off-the-shelf blender from Target could do a comparable job.

The Cherry Berry Chiller uses cherry and raspberry juice, but I could taste other fruits, like a little bit of grape. (The ingredients list also includes apple juice concentrate.) Thanks to my stereotype of cherries, my mouth expected a very tart beverage, but instead it had a very mild tartness. The cherry stands out at the beginning of each slurp and the raspberry becomes more noticeable towards the end, but in between, there’s a good balance of cherry and raspberry. The combination tastes like a slightly watered down POM Wonderful pomegranate juice. While I have enjoyed McDonald’s other fruity blended beverages, I have to say that the Cherry Berry Chiller is the best tasting of the bunch.

McDonald's Cherry Berry Chiller Closeup

However, all is not perfect with it. Because it’s pretty much just fruit juice and ice, I noticed it tends to melt a bit faster than McDonald’s smoothies, which has yogurt to help prevent it from turning into liquid. Also, it’s a horrible source of vitamin C. Actually, according to the McDonald’s website, it has no vitamin C, which is strange because cherries and raspberries are good sources of the vitamin that prevents scurvy.

Overall, I have mixed feeling about McDonald’s Cherry Berry Chiller. It’s sweet, damn tasty, and refreshing, but by saying it’s made with 100 percent fruit juice, McDonald’s is giving me the impression that there’s some nutritional benefit from drinking it. But it turns out that’s not really the case since it doesn’t provide any vitamins, which is, you know, one of the benefits of consuming fruits.

(Nutrition Facts – 22 ounces – 330 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 40 milligrams of sodium, 81 grams of carbohydrates, 81 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 4% calcium, and 2% iron.)

Item: McDonald’s McCafe Cherry Berry Chiller
Price: $3.99
Size: Large
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Sweet, Damn tasty. Refreshing. Pleasant tartness. Made with 100 percent fruit juice. McDonald’s blenders. Rhyming. Alliteration.
Cons: Provides no vitamin C. My Care Bears knowledge. Appears to melt faster than McDonald’s smoothies. Drinking too many Slurpees for adults. McDonald’s being generous with the ice in their soft drink cups.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club

Jeff 5 Comments

Wendy's Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club

John Cusack was wrong. The world will not be destroyed by a Mayan calendar. It will come to an end by an angry and determined reanimated Dave Thomas stomping on the competition to the soundtrack of Joy Division’s “Transmission” …then the Universe.

How else to explain their shrewd ability to kick the King out on his ass and entrench themselves into the number two spot? Ronald McDonald should be afraid or at the very least slice Grimace up like Han Solo did to a Tauntaun and hide inside. I too would be scared of a zombie Dave Thomas in red pigtails.

Like the long-term girlfriend I had back in college, my affair with Wendy’s has been tumultuous. Sometimes I was all right with what I ate. Other times I was so disappointed I would watch a Uwe Boll film just to make myself happy again. I know a lot of you out there are extremely passionate about Wendy’s which makes me chuckle. To Wendy’s merit, they have worked hard to distinguish themselves from the big two.

Wendy's Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club Beverage

Wendy’s is somewhat successful in an attempt to place themselves above the grease-shacks and giving customers a higher end fast food experience. Witness the sea salt fries, Black Label burgers, and signature drinks. On a side note, sea salt has become so ubiquitous…it’s like the ahi tuna of the late nineties.

Perusing the Wendy’s menu demonstrates an uppity foodie vibe. The new Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club fits right in with what reanimated Dave Thomas demands you to eat before he takes your soul like Shang Tsung (cue Mortal Kombat shout).

The folks at Wendy’s went ahead and picked up the tab for me to try the latest offering. However, I really fumbled the first time. Besides the enjoyable texture, I thought the sandwich was just okay. My wife asked why it was called a club since there was no sign of the promised Applewood smoked bacon and club sandwiches have bacon.

I said “shut up” and threw a sea salt fry hitting her left boob. Things bouncing off breasts make me laugh, but she was right…where the hell was the bacon?

Strange but true, Seventh Day Adventists own the property where this Wendy’s was located. Hence, no bacon in my club. They don’t eat pork which makes me wonder if their Baconator is just a plain cheeseburger with a wrapper in large red fonts? However, back from the dead Dave Thomas snarled and demanded I buy another at a different Wendy’s to truly get the experience.

Wendy's Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club Innards

The sandwich was wrapped in clean white butcher-like paper to underline the high-end feel. Ranch and guacamole smeared on butter toasted buns houses the entire ensemble which consists of a tomato slice, lettuce, a black pepper encrusted battered chicken breast that is adorned with a slice of pepper jack cheese, and sweet salty thick bacon slices. That sounds like a bold flavor megamix that only the likes of Bobby “I’m on a lot of reality shows” Flay can wrangle.

I believe there is no better first time bite than something that is simultaneously creamy and crunchy. Now that doesn’t mean I would dollop Cool Whip on pork rinds because mouthfeel or not, the thing has to be tasty. Although that combo does sound good after coming home late hammered on cheap scotch. It’s a proven equation, the creamy condiments and battered chicken is akin to buffalo wings and bleu cheese so of course this would work.

The guacamole is as authentic as the Mexican cuisine from Chipotle but here’s the surprising part, there are real chunks of avocado. Among the creamy bites are diced tomato and bits of onion. It is a step up from the questionable green globs some places try to pass off as the condiment, so I was a bit impressed.

Wendy's Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club Center

Said chicken was very moist, no doubt helped by the thick encasement of peppery batter which was awesome. As most things that tend to orbit close to ingredient overload, the pepper jack cheese gets lost in the guacamole. To be honest so did the ranch dressing and I am not sure there was a need for it anyway since the guacamole tempers the fried chicken.

They say bacon makes everything better right? It does because without it, the sandwich was slanting towards mediocre. However the bacon’s sweetness really compliments this towering 770 calorie behemoth. The two flavors that really come to the forefront are the sweet smoky bacon and the pepper.

I love spicy heat and I went through a phase where I would put Sriracha, the Thai hot chili sauce, on everything. Like my wife does with Reddi-wip, I would squirt that stuff straight into my mouth. So the sandwich is not as spicy as I would like but I have to say this colossus’ heat lingers and has a good punch.

Speaking of punch, the sandwich with bacon or not, is a little too salty at times for my tastebuds. As you can imagine some bites reminded me of gulping seawater when a wave crashed on me unexpectedly when I was a little boy.

The high sodium levels are not a surprise considering and the number of fat grams would make Dr. Oz wage war with a sharpened tongue depressor. Hey, assholes, this is not diet food, it is a hedonistic guilty pleasure between two slices of bread. Sometimes you need that in your life and despite the saltiness, it’s not that bad.

Wendy's Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club Splooge

Who needs a return of the living dead, red pigtailed Dave Thomas to crush your neck to kill you? Eating a couple of these in one sitting should give you a tasty coronary failure massive enough to blow up your heart Michael Bay style. Speaking of explosions, since the sandwich is practically an encyclopedia of all things yummy, it was freaking messy to eat. I grew frustrated at how things slid off or splooged out like a porn moneyshot. This happened to both sandwiches.

Messy or not, I would recommend at least trying this sandwich from Wendy’s once. It is a step above the similar fried chicken choices from other chains. While Wendy’s and I will still have that hate/love relationship, I have to give credit for what they have done. They are raising expectations from a fast food perspective. Win or fail, Wendy’s is at least offering something different and isn’t that what we want in the end?

(Editor’s Note/Disclaimer: We received a gift card from Wendy’s in order to review their Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club. We hope our aunts and uncles will give us gift cards for Christmas in order to buy something we want, instead of giving us clothing from Sears or chocolate Santas.)

(Nutrition facts – 770 calories (less if you go to the pigless Wendy’s), 42 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,790 milligrams of sodium, 58 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugars, and 41 grams of protein.)

Other Wendy’s Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club reviews:
Brand Eating

Item: Wendy’s Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club
Price: $4.79 to $5.49 (sandwich only)
Size: N/A
Purchased: Wendy’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: There are creamy chunks of avocado. The peppery batter on that chicken is delicious. Joy Division. Spicier than most offerings than other fast food restaurants. Bouncing things off boobies. Bacon.
Cons: It is so messy to eat which is annoying. Some of the flavors get lost. Can be a bit salty. Picturing a red pigtailed back from the dead Dave Thomas frightens me. Every Uwe Boll film ever. Baconless.

REVIEW: Subway Smokehouse BBQ Chicken Sub

Adam 12 Comments

Subway Smokehouse BBQ Chicken

I have good news and I have bad news when it comes to Subway’s new Smokehouse BBQ Chicken sandwich. The good news is that’s it’s significantly better than just smearing BBQ sauce over Subway’s “Oven Roasted” Chicken. The bad news is that you may very well incur the wrath of an esteemed sandwich “artist” in ordering one.

If the guy smoking freshly-killed chicken with Applewood out back in his shack in the North Carolina woods is the Rembrandt of the barbecue universe, then I suppose we should extend the metaphor and proclaim Subway’s very own “artists” as the equivalent of first graders during arts and crafts time.

I knew the sandwich was new and expected some kinks going in, but the look of befuddlement I received when asking for the sandwich (despite, I should add, several prominent displays in the windows for it) was enough to make me wonder if my artist had even brought her brushes to work. That she continued to refer to the meat as “pork” and asked me if I wanted cheese with it made me question if it wasn’t “switch place with your spouse at work day,” but the real kicker was when she proceeded to grow noticeably angry at my polite insistence that she construct this masterpiece to include whatever the picture called for.
 
Clearly, I must not understand tasteful art.
 
But I do understand barbecue, and when it comes to something you can order at a suburban fast food restaurant, this is about the high point. Obviously that’s not saying a lot should you live south of the Mason-Dixon Line, but who are we kidding, this is a Subway review. The chicken itself is an admirable stab at smoked and pulled chicken. Despite coming from one of those dreaded pre-portioned containers held in a refrigerator, it manages to convey a certain less-than-cloying sweetness with an unexpected lightness of acidity and tang of apple cider vinegar.

Subway Smokehouse BBQ Chicken Innards

The shredded chicken has a mild spice and hint of smoke flavor, which, I’m almost 100 percent certain, was conveyed in the meat and not just the sauce. The meat avoids any fatty strings or cartilage, and has a succulent taste about it which could pass for the kind of really solid imitation pulled chicken BBQ your Weight Watchers Aunt (or Charles Barkley) makes in the slow cooker. Above all, it’s a step up from Subway’s floppy Oven Roasted Chicken, which, even with barbecue sauce, mostly just tastes like rib meat and salt.

Subway Smokehouse BBQ Chicken Next To Oven Roasted Chicken with BBQ

That said, the portion is meager and looks nothing like the advertisement. Crunch (like slaw) is needed on top, while a potato bread base could go a long way to imitate the authentic barbecue experience. Some shaggy interior decorating and southern rock music wouldn’t hurt to inspire the faux atmosphere either, although something tells me that may clash with the artist process.

Subway Smokehouse BBQ Chicken Portion

If you prefer chicken to beef, have exactly four dollars (plus tax) to spend, and decline to dine outside the confines of fast food restaurants, I can see this being a frequent purchase. If, however, you happen to just be some schmuck who’s running late for work and falls victim to unrealistic advertisements (like me), then I would suggest passing. That is, unless you insist on some finger painting and stick figure drawing, for which I’m sure your sandwich artist would be happy to provide on your complimentary napkin.

(Nutrition Facts – 6-inch sandwich – 380 calories, 60 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 950 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of carbohydrates, 5 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 32 grams of protein.)

Item: Subway Smokehouse BBQ Chicken Sub
Price: $4.00 (6-inch)
Size: 6-inch
Purchased at: Subway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Chicken gets good BBQ sauce coverage and has a nice smokey-sweet flavor. Not too salty. Better than Oven Roasted Chicken. 32 grams protein (allegedly). Fingerpainting.
Cons: Getting yelled at by a sandwich artist. Holding up the line at Subway. Too little meat. Needs crunch. Bring your own Skynyrd. Admitting I don’t dislike healthy crock pot “BBQ” chicken.

REVIEW: Panda Express Shanghai Angus Steak

Marvo 9 Comments

Panda Express Shanghai Angus Steak

With menu items like Beijing Beef and their new Shanghai Angus Steak, it’s safe to say Panda Express likes using alliteration and Chinese locations in their entree names, so I’m hoping the next item that pops up on Panda’s menu is Canton Chicken Feet.

If you’re a Chinese cuisine expert, or read Wikipedia entries about Chinese cuisine for 15 minutes, you would know Shanghai is not known at all for steak. Instead, Shanghai, one of the most populated cities in the world, is known for two other foods that begin with the letter S: seafood and stinky tofu. While I could see Shanghai Shrimp being served at Panda Express, I don’t think most American palates and olfactory organs could handle stinky tofu.

But back to Panda Express’ new Shanghai Angus Steak, which consists of thick slices of Angus Top Sirloin marinated with Asian seasonings, asparagus, mushrooms, and Panda’s new zesty Asian steak sauce.

PanEx wasn’t kidding when they said on their website that this entree has “thick cut slices” of Angus steak. (Yes, I’m going to start calling Panda Express, PanEx, like I call American Express, AmEx. Be one of the cool kids and do the same.) Look at the photo above. Then look at the photo below. Some of those chunks are the size of baby limbs.

Baby limbs!

Panda Express Shanghai Angus Steak Closeup

And they’re also as tender as I imagine baby limbs to be. Occasionally, there was some connective tissue or something else, which made part of the meat a little tough, but 98 percent of the time the thick steak slices were easy to chew. The Angus steak also has a nice flavor that wasn’t overwhelmed by the dish’s sauce, which I’ll talk more about in a moment.

The mushroom slices were also substantial. Their size made me wonder if any Smurfs are now homeless. As for the asparagus, the stalks were chopped into one inch pieces, but there weren’t any asparagus tips in the two Shanghai Angus Steak servings I purchased. The “zesty Asian steak sauce” tastes like a light teriyaki sauce with a slight kick at the back end. I could’ve done without the zesty part, but the rest of the sauce was pleasant and, again, it didn’t drown the flavor of the steak.

The Shanghai Angus Steak isn’t as tasty as PanEx’s Beijing Beef, but it’s significantly healthier. A serving of Beijing Beef has 690 calories, 40 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, and 890 milligrams of sodium, while a serving of Shanghai Angus Steak has 220 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, and 910 milligrams of sodium.

Just like when you order a shrimp entree at PanEx, you have to pay an extra dollar for the Shanghai Angus Steak. Is it worth it? I say yes.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 serving – 220 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 910 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 21 grams of protein.)

Item: Panda Express Shanghai Angus Steak
Price: $9.69 (2-entree plate)
Size: 2-entree plate
Purchased at: Panda Express
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Baby limb-sized slices of Angus steak. Huge mushrooms. Tender steak. Pleasant Asian steak sauce. One of the healthier items on the menu. Good source of protein. Calling Panda Express, PanEx.
Cons: Not as tasty as Beijing Beef. Zesty part of sauce seemed unnecessary. Charging an extra dollar per serving. Around for a limited time. Not as tasty as Orange Chicken. Stinky tofu. Homeless Smurfs.