REVIEW: Dunkin’ Hash Brown Brisket Scramble Bowl

“Cellar door” is often cited as the most beautiful sounding phrase in the English language, but I think I’ve discovered the new top phonesthetic… which is definitely not a word I just discovered two seconds ago.

Ya had a good run, “cellar door,” but you’re downright hideous next to “brisket bowl.” Ahhh, “brisket bowl.” Just let it roll out – Brisket. Bowl. Doesn’t that feel good? Doesn’t that sound good?

Dunkin’ thought so, that’s why it put out a “Hash Brown Brisket Scramble Bowl.” I mean, that doesn’t flow as well, but I guess it still sounds great. I should’ve known the joint that removed “donuts” from its name would opt against short and sweet alliteration.

So, while that name is a little too gussied up, I’ll let it slide because, well, that sounds delicious. Does it taste as good as it should’ve sounded?

Nope, but it almost got there.

The Hash Brown Brisket Scramble Bowl consists of hash browns, scrambled eggs, smoked cheddar cheese, poblano peppers, caramelized onions, cheddar queso, and what I thought would be the star of the show, shredded brisket.

On paper, that sounds really good, and it’s not terrible, but like the name I keep harping on, and this review I’m sure, it needed some editing.

I’ll start with the good. I love Dunkin’s hash browns. They’re crispy, they’re zesty, and they’re a perfect size. No complaints. I liked the fluffy egg chunks too. In fact, I would’ve liked about 25% more egg. These ingredients make for a great base, unfortunately the meat is usually where Dunkin’ lacks for me.

The brisket was a mixed bag. I didn’t expect KC BBQ, but I was at least expecting tender strips. I got a few sinewy, chewy strings of beef that I had to spit out in a napkin. That was a real buzzkill because other bites were actually nice. Still, I had to go into each forkful with trepidation. It was a game of roulette. Say I got ten bites of brisket, four were good, three were inedible and three got lost in the sauce.

The little bits of poblano were a big hit, but I honestly had no clue there were onions in there. They must’ve just blended into the queso, so they literally got lost in the sauce. I’m a “less is more” guy when it comes to sauces, so I could’ve done with less queso too. Also, this is an absolute salt bomb. Grab a coffee.

I don’t ever wanna spit out part of the meal I’m eating, but for some reason, I still give this a light recommendation. It doesn’t need to be tossed behind the cellar door. Hell of a callback there…

I can sit here and tell you the brisket was terrible, but honestly, I think their bacon and sausage are usually pretty unremarkable too, so at least it was a change from the norm.

I think these little bowls are a good portion size, so if you’re just looking for a small breakfast, it’s worth a try. Maybe I just got a bad batch of meat. I might get this again and dump the contents into a tortilla, because I imagine it would make good contents for a breakfast burrito. “Brisket Breakfast Burrito” – now that sounds beautiful.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 Bowl) – 340 calories, 22 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 110 mg of cholesterol, 1300 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 10 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Mexican Street Corn Whopper

NOTE: We also reviewed the Fried Pickle Ranch Whopper and Maple Bourbon BBQ Whopper

After taking my first bite of Burger King’s Mexican Street Corn Whopper, the only thing that circled my brain was that this Whopper’s taste reminded me of a Taco Bell Crunchy Taco Supreme. If the fast food chain that tells us to Live Más ever decided to make a burger, which I predict will happen within the next five years, I imagine it would taste like this.

When I thought about it more than one should when thinking about a fast food cheeseburger, it shouldn’t be a surprise that this Whopper tastes similar to a taco because there are several corresponding ingredients. Both have tomatoes, some kind of cheese, ground beef, and not-quite-completely-green but not-quite-completely-white lettuce. Both have a tanginess from sauces; sour cream with the taco and street corn spread with this burger. Finally, the tortilla strips are a stand-in for a taco shell’s flavor and have a pleasant crunch that would make any crunchy taco proud.

The Mexican Street Corn Whopper is supposed to have a spicy queso, but as I ate it, I didn’t notice anything that would be considered spicy anywhere on the Scoville scale. So I wondered whether it was included in my order, but I tasted a queso flavor while eating it, so that cheesiness makes me believe it was included.

Now, let’s talk about that creamy street corn spread. Thank goodness this didn’t have actual Mexican Street Corn lurking between the sesame seed bun. Because I can’t imagine a mere burger bun overcoming gravity’s attempt to pull down the loose corn kernels while it’s also trying to prevent the lettuce and tortilla strips from falling out. The street corn spread is not a gooey sauce like a queso. Instead, it’s slightly grainy. As for its flavor, it’s cheesy, somewhat peppery, and corny. I guess its spices help the flame-grilled beef patty taste like Taco Bell’s seasoned beef.

The Mexican Street Corn Whopper is tasty, and I enjoyed it slightly more than the Fried Pickle Ranch Whopper, but I feel its name is inaccurate because it tastes like a Taco Bell Taco Supreme to me.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 710 calories, 38 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 970 milligrams of sodium, 62 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 40 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Maple Bourbon BBQ Whopper

NOTE: We also reviewed the Fried Pickle Ranch Whopper and Mexican Street Corn Whopper

I might’ve been the only person in the world who REALLY enjoyed Burger King’s Candied Bacon Whopper, which came out earlier this year. It was the sweetest burger I’ve ever had, which is saying a lot because I’ve eaten a Carl’s Jr. burger with a pineapple on it. So it’s not surprising that I also REALLY enjoy the new and equally as sweet Maple Bourbon BBQ Whopper that’s part of the fast food chain’s Million Dollar Whopper Contest.

The burger comes with a 1/4 lb flame-grilled beef patty, maple bourbon BBQ sauce, crispy onions, crispy jalapeños, smoky maple candied bacon, and American cheese on a sesame seed bun. If left out in the open with the top bun off, it would look appealing to birds looking for a turnkey nest because of the satisfying helping of crispy onion and jalapeño pieces, which also give the Whopper some crunch.

After taking a few bites of my burger, I thought it didn’t have the crispy jalapeños because I didn’t detect any heat. But after picking up a few of the fried strings that had fallen out of my Whopper and tasting them, I noticed some of them had a faint kick. However, even after eating several of them with every bite, I wouldn’t consider this anywhere near spicy. And that makes me sad because I really wanted to repeatedly use the word “swicy” in this review.

Instead, the best portmanteau I would like to use over and over again to describe this burger is “savoreet.” While the beef patty, crispy onions, crispy jalapeños, and cheese give this a noticeable savoriness, this Whopper leans more on the maple side, thanks to the abundant BBQ sauce and candied bacon. However, the crispy onions and jalapeños don’t have bold flavors like their fresh versions. Instead, they create an appreciated nondescript savoriness that helps cut through the sweetness. The bacon’s smokiness and saltiness are there but aren’t as noticeable as its maple flavor, which adds to the BBQ sauce’s sweetness. But all that sugary goodness creates a Whopper that I find tastier than the other two contest finalists. Also, that sweetness makes me wonder what this would taste like if the sesame seed bun was replaced with Liège-style waffles.

I imagine some might find the Maple Bourbon BBQ Whopper to be saccharine or don’t like the idea of a sweet Whopper at all, but I love its savoreetness, and it’s got my vote for the Million Dollar Whopper Contest. Even though I’d be surprised if it won.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 880 calories, 45 grams of fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1460 milligrams of sodium, 78 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 41 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Dark Toffee Bundt

Starbucks’ limited-edition holiday lineup this year has all of winter’s most beloved flavors—peppermint, gingerbread, sugar cookie, and even toffee! While the latter sounds like it could make a delicious signature latte (can you say “toffee coffee” five times fast?), it’s actually attending this holiday party in food form via the Dark Toffee Bundt cake.

Though this is a new offering, it has a classic feel: it fits right in with those aforementioned faves, boasting a distinctive flavor like peppermint, a hint of cozy zing like gingerbread, and a sweetness like a sugar cookie. And while Starbucks is currently cooking up coffee cakes and cake pops, I don’t recall ever seeing it sling a bundt before, so I was also looking forward to that shot of novelty.

Right off the bat, I got festive vibes from the green and red sprinkles (which the website, perhaps unnecessarily but certainly amusingly, specifies are “holly-and-berry-shaped”). That’s not all, though: the dark color of the cake and its rich, dense texture brought to mind other seasonal stalwarts like fruitcake and figgy pudding. The bundt shape was visually appealing enough that I almost felt a little bad ruining those pristine ridges by biting into them. Fortunately for you, reader, my hunger won out over my aesthetic appreciation.

I noticed a slight sheen on the top of the cake that made me worry that it might be sticky enough to cause a mess, but thankfully, the eating experience was relatively clean. The shiny glaze was only applied to the top, so when I picked the cake up from the sides, my hands came away clean (I wish I could say the same about certain other holiday treats—looking at you, candy canes).

The cake had a satisfying heft that was a nice complement to its rich, hearty taste: sweet but not too sweet, with notes of molasses and brown sugar adding complexity and comfort. It didn’t necessarily scream “toffee,” but it was good enough that it didn’t bother me much. I also enjoyed the texture, as the outside was lightly springy while the inside was dense but still crumbly. It was perhaps a bit dry, but I think a fudgier consistency would have been overwhelming, so I appreciated that the graininess made it feel lighter than I was expecting from its solid stature, more afternoon snack than evening ender. (It was certainly tasty and filling enough to serve as a dessert, but it was convenient that it didn’t crash me into an insta-food coma.)

I think this is a treat that would lend itself well to being served heated, but unfortunately, that’s not the default. I was too shy to consider asking an employee, but I think a warm temperature would go great with the warm flavors and amp up that pleasant Christmasy coziness even further. Even as-is, I didn’t feel like this was lacking, and I walked away stuffed and jolly as a Christmas stocking. If Santa ever gets tired of Christmas cookies, I’m sure he’d find the Dark Toffee Bundt a fine replacement, and you might too.

Purchased Price: $4.84
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 330 calories, 15 grams of fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 29 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein

REVIEW: Burger King Fried Pickle Ranch Whopper

NOTE: We also reviewed the Maple Bourbon BBQ Whopper and Mexican Street Corn Whopper

It’s been a while since Burger King had the courage to put fries into a burger, and over a decade later, the fast food chain has mustered enough resolve to once again use fries as a burger topping. Although this time, they are not French fries. Instead, it’s Pickle Fries in the new Fried Pickle Ranch Whopper that’s part of the Million Dollar Whopper Contest.

The offering features a 1/4 lb flame-grilled beef patty, lettuce, creamy pickle ranch, fried pickles, bacon, and Swiss cheese on a sesame seed bun. As you can see, this description I copied and pasted from the Burger King website calls them “fried pickles,” but they are definitely the same Pickle Fries the chain rolled out with these Million Dollar Whopper Contest finalists. And there was a good number of them in my order.

While I enjoyed Burger King’s Pickle Fries, in my review of them, I wrote I wish they had a more robust dill flavor or a pickle ranch sauce. Well, one of those solutions is offered with this burger. The pickle ranch sauce has a pleasant mild dill taste and a mild ranch flavor. It does enhance the fries instead of muting them, maybe because a lot of it was applied to my order. However, even with both ingredients, I wouldn’t say this Whopper has enough pickle flavor to make me dill-irious. Also, the combination of the wet ingredients—lettuce and pickle ranch—makes the usual crispy exterior of the fries into something slightly soggy. However, the snap of the pickles was still noticeable.

The Swiss cheese adds a salty creaminess, but I feel it’s there more to prevent the bacon from sliding out. Speaking of ingredients falling out, the Burger King lettuce is gonna Burger King lettuce and try to escape from your Whopper, but whatever amount sticks around, they do somewhat replace the crunch that is lost from the soggy pickle fries. The flame-grilled flavor from the beef patty and the saltiness and smokiness from the bacon also make themselves known with every bite.

However, while I enjoyed Burger King’s Fried Pickle Ranch Whopper, I wouldn’t give it my vote for the Million Dollar Whopper Contest. While it has a couple of unique ingredients, I wish the pickle flavor was stronger, and I think the other finalists are more dill-icious.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 870 calories, 50 grams of fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 120 milligrams of cholesterol, 2120 milligrams of sodium, 64 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 42 grams of protein.