REVIEW: Good & Gather Collabs Ann Kim Pickle Pie Pizza

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The box for this Good & Gather Collabs Ann Kim Pickle Pie Pizza says it’s a “Product of Italy.” I’m a little skeptical about that because, as a country known for its fine cuisine, I’m not sure a pickle pizza is something folks in Italy would be proud of. Sure, consume enough bottles of Sangiovese, and that pride might go out the window. However, this product has another P surprise — potato chips.

I’m not going to lie. The idea of a pickle and potato chip pizza sounds great. I did enjoy pickle-flavored ice cream, so I guess the chances of me enjoying this is not far-fetched. However, the pickles here are pretty poor. They don’t taste like the dill ones in a cheeseburger. Instead, they remind me of the pickled plum in the middle of my bento’s rice. Okay, 75 percent of you may not have experienced Japanese ume, but it’s the only way I can describe its sour flavor.

While the pickles mostly get lost in the ranch sauce, cheese, and potato chips, it’s still noticeable enough to bring down the bites with it. However, their flavor, thankfully, doesn’t get absorbed into the rest of the pizza, so simply removing them made things taste better. Without them, the combination of crust, potato chips, mozzarella cheese, and ranch sauce brings back tasty memories of dipping potato chips into French onion dip. I enjoyed the pizza at this point, and this really should’ve been the Good & Gather Collabs Ann Kim Potato Chip Pie Pizza.

While its flavor sans pickles was surprising, I was equally surprised about how pleasantly crispy the wood-fired crust’s exterior was at the ends.

However, what was 1,000,000 times more surprising than that was how crispy the potato chips were after being frozen and then heated on top of a layer of cheese and a sauce. They were like I pulled them straight out of the bag. How in food science did this happen? Is it because the instructions say to let the frozen pizza sit at room temperature for 15 minutes? Did the cheese’s oil deep fry the chips and revitalize their crispiness? Is this a “Product of Italy” because it’s the only country allowed to do this magic?

If you’re a dill pickle lover, this Good & Gather Collabs Ann Kim Pickle Pie won’t give you what your taste buds want. But if you’re willing to discard the pickles, you’ll still get a unique-tasting pizza thanks to the other P ingredient.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Size: 17.1 oz
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/4 pizza) 290 calories, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 690 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Trolli Gummi Pop

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Being a fan of all things sour, I’m certainly no stranger to the Trolli brand… I also really love popsicles, so I figured I had a good idea of what I was getting into. Well, dear Impulsive Buyer, I’m here to tell you that I was 100% wrong.

These are, in a word, weird. In two words, they’re very weird. That’s not to say that they’re bad, not exactly, or that you shouldn’t try them. I’m just hoping that some of you will be better informed than I was before jumping into this big old pop of strange.

The flavor is great. Very reminiscent of a good Sour Brite Crawler but kicked up a notch, although not in sourness. I actually found these to be even less sour than the aforementioned Sour Brite Crawlers themselves. My Walmart, unfortunately, only had the Cherry Lemon variety, but I like both of those flavors, and that turned out to be important, as they are strong despite their frozen state. They never reach cloying or unpleasant levels at all, but both the lemon and the cherry are most assuredly there, and they announce their presence with gusto!

Next, we have no choice but to talk about the texture. It’s not gummy at all, like I’d been expecting, but nor is it exactly a popsicle either. Rather, it exists in some unique, third state…maybe even a different state of matter entirely, somewhere between Jell-O and an Italian Ice. The only thing I’ve ever tasted that even comes close to this texture was a “Not Melting Popsicle” from Kanazawa Ice I had while on a trip to Japan. It’s wholly unique, but not terrible, at least not once you get used to it.

Trolli Gummi Pop Cherry Lemon 4.

Did I hate these popsicles? No. Did I enjoy them? Also, no, but not as strong of a “no,” if that makes sense. I liked them enough to finish the box, and I’d probably buy the blue variety if I happened to see them (even if just to try that texture on my favorite flavor).

Purchased Price: $4.97
Size: 10 pops
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pop) 70 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of total carbs, 0 gram of dietary fiber, 15 grams of total sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: DiGiorno Thanksgiving Pizza

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It seems to me that in recent years, more food companies have been embracing Thanksgiving dinner as a collective meal to put in other foods. Sandwich shops have been offering turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sandwiches for a while. And this year, DiGiorno has pizza-fied the classic November meal!

DiGiorno’s version omits the stuffing, however, and combines turkey with the ingredients of a green bean casserole. The pizza features roast turkey, green beans, crispy onions, dried cranberries, and gravy. The non-Thanksgiving elements are mozzarella and cheddar cheese, all topped on a Detroit-style crust. Just bake for 23 minutes, and you have a warm meal ready.

Let’s start with the star of the show: the turkey. I was worried the turkey would be gristly or rubbery. But nope, it has a pleasant chew and flavor. It’s not quite what you pull out of the oven on Thanksgiving, but it’s close.

The green beans are fine. They’re slightly crispier than canned green beans. If you don’t like green beans, you will wish they weren’t there. For me, I could take them or leave them.

I don’t really notice the onion’s crispiness, but I can taste their presence. The savory flavor I associate with green bean casserole permeates the pie.

The dried cranberries impart a bit of sweetness to the otherwise ultra-umami dish. I’m glad cranberries got represented. But if you don’t like pineapple on pizza, maybe they’ll be too much for you. At least they’re tarter than pineapple.

The gravy has a nice texture, but there’s something about the seasonings in it that tastes a little odd to me. Not bad, just weird. Maybe my palate is just too unsophisticated. The oddness might also come from the crispy onions.

I’m picky about cheese, so I’m glad they opted for the tamer options of cheddar and mozzarella. That way, it can keep the feel and definition of pizza, even though it’s Thanksgiving, without being too tangy. And the crust might be the best part: soft, slightly chewy, just a little sweet.

I love to eat leftover pizza cold, and I’m happy to report that DiGiorno Thanksgiving Pizza is at least as good cold as it is heated.

I’m really happy this pizza exists. Your family will be mad if you serve it instead of an actual Thanksgiving meal (and it would break the bank to serve a crowd), but it’s a fun product to eat on a random cozy November night or bring to a Friendsgiving. It’s only available at Kroger-affiliated stores, but I hope it will expand to other retailers in the future.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Size: 20.6 oz box
Purchased at: Smith’s Marketplace
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/4 pizza) 400 calories, 21 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 480 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 5 grams of total sugars including 3 grams of added sugars, and 12 grams of protein.

REVIEW: DiGiorno Deadpool & Wolverine Spicy Wolvie Pie Pizza

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As a lifelong X-Men fan, I have a bone (claw?) to pick with DiGiorno. Over his fifty-some-odd-year publication history, Wolverine has been many things, but “spicy” isn’t one of them. Now, if they were to release a Spicy Gambit Pie with Cajun seasoning, that would be thematically appropriate and fairly innovative for a frozen pizza. Why not opt to do this? The concept was right there!

“But Karen,” you say, “The movie being promoted is called Deadpool & Wolverine. Gambit is probably not even in it.” Oh, you think you’re so smart. Did you know that Gambit was in Wolverine: Origins back in the day with both Wolverine AND Deadpool? Did we get any pizzas for that movie? I think, after sitting through that, a Gambit-themed pizza is the least Marvel can do for me.

Nevertheless, the Wolvie Pie is the one we were given, thus the one I will review. If you’re interested in these Deadpool & Wolverine DiGiorno tie-ins, there are actually four to choose from: The Wade Special (pineapple and black olives), Gimmi Chimi (spicy cumin sauce, beef topping, jalapeno and cheddar and mozzarella), Maximum Pep (lots of sliced and diced pepperoni), and the Spicy Wolvie Pie (pepperoni, chorizo and bacon.) The idea behind the Wolvie pizza is that Wolverine likes eating meat, so you should too. Clearly, Wolverine also likes sodium.

All varieties come with a Deadpool mask except the Spicy Wolvie. Why wasn’t a Wolverine mask included? That’s just lazy.

I was a little confused about the toppings. It’s obvious what the pepperoni is, of course, but which of the tiny little bits of meat were the bacon and which were the chorizo? The taste of the chorizo was dominant, so if you’d told me all the little bits were chorizo, I would have believed you. Not a lot of bacon flavor here.

The chorizo gave the pizza a nice level of heat. It was more than a “subtle” level, but definitely not as spicy as something like Wendy’s Spicy Nuggets. I kept trying to decide whether or not this pie was spicy enough; sure, there’s some spice there, but “Spicy” is literally in the title. I think it should have been pushed a little further.

That said, it’s still an enjoyable meal. If you’ve had any DiGiorno pizza before, you’ll know exactly what to expect here, but the funny branding adds a little bit of joy to the proceedings. If you find you enjoy role-playing Wolvie and mirroring his eating habits is not enough, you could always go out and hit on a few redheads, although I doubt DiGiorno would take responsibility for that.

Hey, that makes me think about what a Jean Grey pizza would be like. Maybe a strawberry dessert pizza to honor her color scheme? Or a much more spicy Ghost Pepper pie to allude to the universe-scorching heat of the Phoenix Force? DiGiorno, when the MCU finally starts churning out X-Men movies by the dozens, you really have no excuse not to go down this road. Just get on making that Spicy Gambit pizza, and maybe I’ll give you my ideas for the perfect pizza incarnations of all twelve million X-Men characters.

Purchased Price: $6.49
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/4 pizza) 350 calories, 17 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 810 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, and 16 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hot Ones Hot Pockets

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These new spicy Hot Pockets are way more complicated than you were expecting. Not in taste though. That’s straightforward. What’s complicated is everything else. Allow me to explain.

First, like a music festival or an early 2000s Southern rap album, these Hot Pockets are presented by someone other than Nestle alone. These are all branded as “First We Feast presents: Hot Ones,” then the name of the type of Hot Pocket. And then, if that wasn’t enough, each one is “made with” some sort of non-Hot Pocket sauce. The Hot Habanero Pepperoni & Sausage is made with “Los Calientes Rojo,” the Smoky Green Chili Cheesesteak is made with “Los Calientes Verde,” and the Spicy Garlic Chicken & Bacon is made with “The Classic Garlic Fresno.”

I know, I’m sorry. It’s a lot.

In case you’re like me and wildly disconnected from most modern media, allow me to explain. (By copy/pasting from Google.) “First We Feast is an online food-culture magazine and YouTube channel. The site co-produces the YouTube series Hot Ones with Complex Media, its parent company.”

Okay, so in retrospect, I’ve heard of this. Hot Ones is the thing where celebrities eat really hot wings and, I don’t know… it’s funny? It’s touching? Whatever it is, it’s a lucrative enterprise. Because here we are, with branded Hot Pockets.

The Hot Habanero Pepperoni & Sausage

This thing OOZED sauce — cloyingly sweet sauce. I think my entire Hot Pocket had two small shards of pepperoni and three, maybe four sausage chunks. The pepperoni and sausage are the same meats used in all other Hot Pockets, so if you’ve had any of those, you know the drill. Salty, chewy, nothing to write home about. But really, this sauce. Oof. And how was the hotness? I mean, that’s really the whole point, right? It was… noticeable but not overly aggressive. The box suggested that the heat level was a 5 out of 10 — the same as the Smoky Green Chili Cheesesteak — and I don’t feel like the heat matched at ALL. It was much milder. So, if you had this one and found it tolerable from a heat perspective, please don’t assume the cheesesteak one will be the same. It’s not.

Smoky Green Chili Cheesesteak

This one BURNED. The heat kicked in fast and was prevalent throughout. What I found interesting, though, was how quickly the heat subsided. It didn’t last more than 20 or 30 seconds after each bite. The steak was the same nib-like meat they use in the delightful Jalapeño Steak & Cheese variety, which I sadly cannot find anywhere around here anymore. In fact, this was reminiscent of that, though it’s missing the cheese sauce, which is a shame. And there didn’t seem to be as much steak. And this had a green chili that mostly just blended in. So, okay, I guess it’s not much like the Jalapeño Steak & Cheese at all. Nor is it good.

Spicy Garlic Chicken & Bacon

At least this one tried something different? Although I didn’t really get much heat from this — it was a 2 out of 10 on their arbitrary Hot Ones scale — it had the most nuance, mostly due to a mild smoky component, though I don’t know if this came from the chicken, the bacon, or the garlic sauce. (For what it’s worth, there were no discernible pieces of bacon, and the chicken’s prevalence was about as impressive as the sausage and pepperoni inclusion on that version.) This was the winner of the bunch — not that that’s saying much.

Purchased Price: $2.98 each
Purchased at: Hy-Vee
Rating: 3 out of 10 (Pepperoni and Sausage), 4 out of 10 (Green Chili Cheesesteak), 5 out of 10 (Garlic Chicken and Bacon)
Nutrition Facts: Pepperoni & Sausage – 290 calories, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 790 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein. Green Chili Cheesesteak – 280 calories, 11 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 700 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein. Garlic Chicken & Bacon – 280 calories, 10 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 760 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 10 grams of protein.