Tag: Frozen Food

REVIEW: Kid Cuisine Snack Stix Peanut Butter & Grape

Earnest 4 Comments

Kid Cuisine Snack Stix Peanut Butter & Grape

Kid Cuisine takes me back to a time in my life where preparing my own meals was more of a novelty than a necessity. The more I think about how many years have passed since I last tore open one of their sky blue boxes, cut the film cover with a pair of safety scissors, and entertained myself with the contents of their Fun Pack, the older I feel.

And even though my appreciation for word search puzzles appears to have an inverse relationship with my appreciation for home-cooked meals, I found myself more than willing to jump at the chance of coming back this once beloved, now neglected brand.

Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches might have also invoked similar rose-tinted memories of brown-bag lunches and boxes of Hi-C Ecto-Cooler, if it weren’t invoking memories of just the other day. You can find PB&J deep fried at the Florida State Fair, or smoothiefied on the Underground Menu at your local Jamba Juice.

Not only are the ingredients cheap, but the sandwich is easy to make – a major plus for lazy 20-somethings such as myself. Not to mention Smucker’s has been providing their convenient pre-made crustless variety for some time now. But Kid Cuisine is on the scene, so let’s see of they can give Smucker’s a run for their green.

Kid Cuisine Snack Stix Peanut Butter & Grape Shelf

Kid Cuisine Snack Stix can be found in the grocery store next to their other frozen dinners, thankfully at the same price. The box touts the product’s real fruit juice filling, lack of high fructose corn syrup, and baked-not-fried nature, which is reflected in the nutrition facts. I couldn’t help but compare them to their obvious competition, Smucker’s Uncrustables which, despite being similarly priced and almost identically serving-sized, manage to have more calories and fat than the new guy.

Meant to be a GoGurt-esque snack for kids on the go, a stick can be briefly microwaved from frozen or thawed in your lunch box for your convenience. It also has a recommended consumption window of up to eight hours after defrosting, so if you forget it on your kitchen counter before you leave for the day, just eat it when you get home. In the highly unlikely event you experience food poisoning as a result, I accept no liability.

Kid Cuisine Snack Stix Peanut Butter & Grape Frozen

Kid Cuisine Snack Stix Peanut Butter & Grape Closeup

The four unassuming, individually wrapped sticks slide out of the box looking like small Hot Pockets, with a soft bread texture reminiscent of SideShots. I have to admit, my inner child was slightly disheartened at the lack of a Fun Pack. The package suggests patiently waiting two minutes after their 15 second microwave time, which I obediently obliged, remembering well my disastrous past experience with an overheated Pop-Tart.

Kid Cuisine Snack Stix Peanut Butter & Grape Innards

The first bite revealed a modest flavor to accompany its modest appearance, with a somewhat disappointing amount of PB&J that further consumption showed to be… acceptable. The PB to J ratio was decent, something that I find most products often mess up (almost always too much jelly).

The PB&J itself I found a bit lacking in sweetness, with the bread tasting exactly as you would expect by looking at it. I fear that what they’ve gained in healthiness they’ve sacrificed in flavor, but when I remember that their target audience consists of sugar-sensitive children, I figure the ends justify the means.

Though personally underwhelming, I can’t help but respect the product’s healthiness, affordability, and mobility. Though I may never buy them for myself, I’m sure they’d be great for my nonexistent children.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Snack Stix – 160 calories, 25 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 65 milligrams of potassium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Kid Cuisine Snack Stix Peanut Butter & Grape
Purchased Price: $2.29
Size: 4 Snack Stix per box
Purchased at: Publix
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Real fruit filling. No HFCS. Healthier than Uncrustables. Hi-C Ecto-Cooler. Rose-tinted memories.
Cons: Not very sweet. Needs a little more PB&J. No Fun Pack. Overheated Pop-Tarts. Getting older.

REVIEW: Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs

Marvo 24 Comments

Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs

To ensure you don’t think of me as a devout carnivore, who shuns meatless products, I’m going to preface this review by saying I regularly buy Morningstar Farms products.

Whenever they go on sale, I buy their Meal Starter Grillers Recipe Crumbles to replace ground beef; I usually have a box of their BBQ Riblets in my freezer for those times when I’m too lazy to cook; and I regularly purchase the Costco-sized box of their Original Sausage Patties.

I’ve tried many Morningstar Farms products and they’re all decent or better. Oh, except for their veggie bacon, which is quite disgusting and haunts my taste buds every day.

So would Morningstar Farms’ new Veggie Dogs be a new favorite or something that will torment my taste buds for years?

Oh, should point out it seems weird the Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs box proclaims, in large sans serif letters, these veggie dogs are new, because they’re not. Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs were around for years and then disappeared from shelves for a long time, much to the dismay of many people.

But now they’re back, baby!

I know I tasted the original Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs, but I don’t remember what they taste like. Maybe because they were so horrible that my brain has hidden the traumatic experience deep within my mind. Or maybe I forgot because my knowledge of 1990s hip-hop lyrics wrote over the memory. But after tasting these dogs, I think it’s definitely the latter because these veggie dogs don’t make me want to spit them out.

Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs Closeup

I guess the nicest word I could use to describe these veggie dogs is tolerable. I mean, what should I expect for something that has just 0.5 grams of fat. They look like hot dogs and have a meat-like flavor, but it’s a fraction of the flavor with regular hot dogs. However, with enough ketchup, mustard, and onions on it, with my eyes closed, and me repeatedly saying “yummy” with my mouth full, I think I could trick my mind into thinking it’s a decent hot dog.

However, they’re skinny and don’t have the same feel as a hot dog. A hot dog’s exterior coating doesn’t give as easily as these Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs. Putting my fork through one of these dogs feels like putting a fork through unprepared SPAM. It’s a little off-putting, along with them looking like they have some kind of skin disorder.

Also, I would’ve been nice if they came in a pack of eight, like hot dog buns, but instead they came in an inconvenient pack of six.

I’ve had the misfortune of tasting two or three other brands of veggie dogs over the years. I don’t remember the brands, but just thinking of those veggie dogs make me a little nauseous because they were quite horrible. These Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs are definitely better. But as someone who occasionally enjoys a Costco hot dog after buying a Costco-sized box of Morningstar Farms sausage patties, I can’t say they’re nearly as enjoyable as a regular hot dogs.

However, if you’re a vegetarian, you’ll probably enjoy them a lot more.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 link – 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 430 milligrams of sodium, 15 milligrams of potassium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)

Item: Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs
Purchased Price: $4.99 (on sale)
Size: 6 veggie dogs
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Best veggie dog I’ve had. Tolerable, especially if you pile on the ketchup, mustard, and onions. Didn’t want to spit them out. Only 0.5 grams of fat. 7 grams of protein. My ability to lip-sync with 90s hip-hop.
Cons: Skinny dogs. Box contains six veggie dogs, so if you buy a pack of hot dogs buns, you’ll have two extra. Don’t have the same feel as a hot dog. They look like they have a skin disorder. Morningstar Farms Veggie Bacon.

REVIEW: Hot Pockets Snackers Baked Mac & Cheese Bites

Drew 8 Comments

Hot Pockets Snackers Baked Mac & Cheese Bites

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results; but they also say if at first you don’t succeed, you should try, try again.  So, are “they” advocating madness?  These are the kind of thoughts that run through my head as I review my second mac & cheese-based product in two reviews.  And a pretty good indicator of why I majored in English rather than Philosophy.

Hopefully you’re all familiar with Hot Pockets, or the slightly lower-calorie alternative Lean Pockets, my preferred indulgence because I like to pretend I could still swim a mile in less than 20 minutes (nope) and we can’t all eat like Michael Phelps. 

You may also be aware of HP’s “Snackers” brand, an attempt to offer a smaller alternative to their usual burrito-sized offerings.  The bag contains 12 pieces (3 servings) of pastry crust stuffed with macaroni & cheese and promises to microwave in just over a minute, which is big because regular Hot Pockets take 2 full minutes and who has that kind of time these days?  Not me, that’s an extra review and a half I could have written.  These things require a craftsman’s touch!

(By the way, I know 4 pieces may not sound like much as a serving size, but given how thick each triangle is, trust me that it isn’t insignificant.  I guess technically you could eat a full package as a meal, but that would be a lot.  Count on either splitting them with a friend or just not having a side dish if you decide to down the whole bag at once.)

Hot Pockets Snackers Baked Mac & Cheese Bites Closeup

Diving in, the crust is fairly light and flaky. This reaffirms the package’s boast that they’re baked, not fried.  If you’ve ever had a Hot Pocket before, you know what to expect, although these taste just a bit lighter.  And as I alluded to regarding the thickness, you’re not getting hosed as far as how much mac & cheese is stuffed into each one.  I certainly didn’t feel short-changed, and microwaving the triangles caused most of them to either spill out some cheese onto the plate or at least partially crack open, reinforcing the point. 

That said, they’re not messy — I didn’t have any problems with cheese spilling out unexpectedly or big pieces flaking off, so feel free to eat these one-handed on the couch without a napkin like the savage you are.  No one is judging.

The macaroni itself is a good consistency, soft but with just enough firmness to be appealing.  It actually looks pretty similar to Kraft Mac & Cheese, but the cheese is a bit different, slightly creamier than Kraft’s flavor without being especially sharp. 

Also, it’s a little hard to describe, but the cheese almost feels like a different component than the macaroni; there’s a lot of it, and it tends to ooze around the cracks and crevices formed by the pasta and spill out in large quantities.  I’m not complaining because it tastes the same either way, but rather than truly coating the macaroni, the cheese feels more like it’s sharing space with it.  They don’t exactly meld, but it’s plentiful and tasty, so I can’t complain too much.

Probably the only other criticism I would level against the Macaroni & Cheese Bites is that they lack that certain edge, the extra component that really distinguishes good products from great products. 

Don’t interpret that as a criticism — I like the Bites, and I wouldn’t at all mind getting them again.  But an extra flavor of cheese inside, maybe something with more bite like colby jack, would’ve really put it over the top.  But as it is, this is a good, solid snacking choice that’s quick and easy to make and will fill you up.  You could do a lot worse.

(Nutrition Facts — 4 pieces — 220 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of total fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 460 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugars, and 6 grams of protein)

Item: Hot Pockets Snackers Baked Mac & Cheese Bites
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 10 oz. / approx. 12 pieces
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Bypassing one useless degree for a slightly-less-useless one.  Light, fairly soft crust.  4 pieces makes a good snack.  Only takes a minute and change to make.  Triangles are stuffed full of mac & (especially) cheese.  Swimming references, because when people only notice your sport once every four years, you’ve gotta jump on that opportunity.
Cons: We have yet to break the 1-minute microwave mark.  Pasta and cheese feel more like amiable co-inhabitants than a happy couple.  Not being able to eat like Michael Phelps.  Could use a little more kick.  Not lacking in fat and sodium

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Granola Chocolate Chip Waffles

Marvo 2 Comments

Kellogg's Eggo Granola Chocolate Chip

Blueberry was the first ingredient Kellogg’s began baking into their almost Simpson’s skin-colored frozen waffles. Later, they made a waffle with chocolate chips.

Just like a beginning chainsaw juggler getting comfortable with throwing one chainsaw into the air and later moving up to two chainsaws when they haven’t lost a limb after several throws with one chainsaw, Kellogg’s started off with one ingredient, but became brave and added another. One of the first results of that bravery was their Limited Edition Seasons S’mores Waffles.

And now Kellogg’s is doing it again with their new Eggo Granola Chocolate Chip Waffles.

Actually, if you want to get technical, they baked three ingredients into these new waffles: chocolate chips, granola pieces, and rolled oats. Ah yes, granola — a hippie sustenance, Nature Valley’s cash cow, and the other reason, besides keeping hydrated, why it’s so important to have water while hiking.

The chocolate chips and rolled oats are super easy to spot in each waffle. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for the granola pieces, which involves a closer inspection. The chocolate chips stand out because, obviously, their dark color makes them look like blackheads on the Simpson’s skin-colored waffles. As for the rolled oats, they’re noticeable because they look like trilobite fossils encased in waffle batter.

Kellogg's Eggo Granola Chocolate Chip Closeup

Sadly, while these Eggo Granola Chocolate Chip Waffles were warming up in my toaster, they didn’t make my kitchen smell like Eggo Homestyle frozen waffles were being pounded with heat from toaster filaments. When I took them out of the toaster, they had a nondescript aroma. I couldn’t even detect the scent of the chocolate chips while putting my nose close enough to the waffles that it looked like I was snorting cocaine off of them.

The chocolate chips, granola pieces, and rolled oats are, for the most part, spread evenly throughout each waffle. But that really didn’t matter because, without syrup, these Eggo Granola Chocolate Chip Waffles were as bland as white cotton panties. The chocolate flavor was so faint that I wondered if the semisweet chocolate Kellogg’s used in these waffles was really sub-sweet chocolate or hypo-sweet chocolate.

The rolled oats and granola pieces (which were made using sugar, honey, and molasses) also didn’t bring anything to this waffle party, except two grams more fiber than Eggo Homestyle Waffles. I thought the granola would at least add a little crunch, but my molars didn’t detect any. Thankfully, the waffle itself was crispy on the outside and soft inside.

Of course, waffles are eaten with syrup, and a light coating of the caramel colored sugar gravy did make these waffles much more tolerable. However, because the waffle itself had little flavor, all I pretty much tasted was syrup.

Overall, I think hippies would say the Kellogg’s Eggo Granola Chocolate Chip Waffles are a waste of granola.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 waffles – 200 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 350 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Kellogg’s Eggo Granola Chocolate Chip Waffles
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 8 waffles
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Thank goodness for caramel colored sugar gravy. Decent source of fiber. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. Rolled oats look like trilobite fossils. Prefixes.
Cons: The waffle itself is extremely bland. A waste of granola. Faint chocolate flavor. Granola doesn’t add crunch or flavor. White cotton panties. Having to type “Kellogg’s is” kind of irks me.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Thick & Fluffy Mixed Berry Waffles

Stephanie 4 Comments

Kellogg's Eggo Thick & Fluffy Mixed Berry Waffles

Okay, Eggo, we get it. You make some pretty great frozen waffles. In fact, I’d say that you’ve got the frozen waffle game ON LOCK. But can you please stop gloating? We understand that you want us to give you the R.E.S.P.E.C.T. you sorely desire when we get home.

I know I’m proud of you. But making the umpteenth delicious waffle variety is really pushing it. I simply cannot stress enough the importance of humility in the art of frozen breakfast-making.

See, with your new Thick & Fluffy Mixed Berry Waffles, you take things a bit too far by adding real fruit into your already delicious batter. Eggo, I know you’re at the top of the game, but you’re humiliating the competition at this point. Just slow your roll. Go easy on them.

Now, Thick & Fluffy Mixed Berry waffles are full of mixed berry flavor. Even though it doesn’t taste like real fruit, I want you to know that I still appreciate the effort. It’s a sizeable leap away from some of the other frozen waffle lines out there who only offer blueberry flavor. Blueberry is old hat.

By giving us strawberry and blueberry together, you’re breaking the mold with a VARIETY of berries. You clearly wanted to present a waffle wherein strawberry and blueberry flavors mingle in perfect harmony… but before you get too smug, Eggo, let me point out that the strawberry flavor overpowers the blueberry flavor just a smidgen. That doesn’t completely ruin the effect, though, nor the name. The berries are blended. They are mixed, which makes for some delicious waffles. I see you, Eggo.

Kellogg's Eggo Thick & Fluffy Mixed Berry Waffles Closeup

Let’s not forget the convenience factor. When it comes to toaster waffles, especially waffles of a certain thickness that tend to take a little longer to toast… it’s not always easy to get it just right. You’ve made a Thick & Fluffy waffle and that is indeed thick and fluffy, but one that is still a cinch to get to that desirable level of golden brown crispiness without the burnt edges. Delicious and hot and golden brown. And sweet enough to skip the syrup… but why would you ever do that? I say bring on the sweetness!) This is a good waffle, Eggo. But now you’re just showing off.

So please hear me out. I admire the level of toasty goodness you’ve achieved with this new creation, Mixed Berry – one that is on par with the yummy-ness of the other Thick & Fluffy flavors, Original and Cinnamon & Brown Sugar.

But please, just take a moment to think of the other brands, the ones you’ve left behind: Kashi, Aunt Jemima, Krusteaz, Nature’s Path, Van’s, and any store brand. Think of how they might feel when you show up with yet another tasty breakfast item that will yet again fill the bellies of Americans with warm, toasty, sweet waffle-y goodness. They’ll feel jealous, that’s what.

That’ll do, Eggo. That’ll do.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 waffle/55 grams – 160 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 45 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Kellogg’s Eggo Thick & Fluffy Mixed Berry Waffles
Purchased Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Size: 6 waffles/11.6 oz
Purchased at: Vons
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Full of mixed berry flavor. Sweet enough to skip the syrup. Humility. Aretha.
Cons: Jealousy. Mixed berry flavor doesn’t taste like real fruit. Show-offs. Strawberry flavor overpowers the blueberry flavor.