REVIEW: Gatorade Mashups

Children have been mixing drink flavors for as long as drink flavors have existed (or so I assume). And now, Gatorade has decided to get into the game by mixing “2 iconic flavors in 1” for their new Mashups.

Mashups come in two varieties: Cool Blue + Fruit Punch and Lemon Lime + Orange.

Let’s start with Cool Blue + Fruit Punch. Cool Blue is actually one of my least favorite Gatorade flavors, and it’s not nearly as good as the other blue one, Glacier Freeze. I just find it overly artificial and a little bitter.

But I like it much better mixed with Fruit Punch! Cool Blue is the dominant flavor, but it is less bitter. I don’t really detect much of the Fruit Punch, but I’m glad it serves a purpose by mellowing the Cool Blue.

Now for Lemon Lime + Orange, which is arguably three flavors. To no one’s surprise, three citrus flavors work well together! I think Lemon Lime is a little more noticeable than orange, but orange is still there. This one is really pleasant and refreshing.

I usually drink Gatorade from a powder. (It’s always nice to have on hand after a long run on a hot day, and powder seems more economical and less wasteful.) The readily available powders come in three of these four flavors. (The fourth powder flavor is Glacier Freeze rather than Cool Blue.)

I think I will stick to the powders rather than buying more of these Mashups bottles. But they have inspired me to try mixing the powdered flavors!

Purchased Price: $1.69 each
Size: 28 fl oz bottles
Purchased at: Lee’s MarketPlace
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Cool Blue + Fruit Punch), 8 out of 10 (Lemon Lime + Orange)
Nutrition Facts: (12 fl oz) 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 160 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar (including 21 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Aqua Blast Gatorade

As soon as I saw the bottle, I was hooked by the 80s retro yet somehow modern vibes. A bit of vaporwave never hurt anyone!

I wanted to go into this review blind, so to speak, so I avoided looking up what flavor it was supposed to be. If the aqua and purple were any indication, maybe grape? Blue raspberry? Dragonfruit?

Bzzztt! Wrong!

Upon opening the bottle, I was immediately hit with that sort of tangy, sharp-yet-sweet scent I usually associate with tropical fruit-flavored candy. Pouring some into a glass, the aqua hue mimics the exterior wrap on the bottle. Very neon, very aqua.

Having had a lot of Gatorade, I expected it to smell a lot stronger than it tasted, and it didn’t disappoint in that regard. The flavor is very much a sort of toned down pineapple gummy bear with a hint of something else, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, all wrapped in that sort of salty background note that electrolyte-enhanced beverages all have in common.

I took a few more sips and decided the flavor was probably a very pineapple-forward tropical fruit. Then I Googled and found out it was supposedly pineapple mango. I have to admit, I really don’t taste mango at all. Just a vague hint of something tropical beyond the pineapple. You could have told me it was pineapple guava or pineapple papaya, and I wouldn’t have doubted it.

In conclusion, it’s not bad. If Gatorade is your jam, you’ll probably like this one, especially if you like artificial pineapple-flavored things.

Purchased Price: $1.72
Size: 28 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Per Serving: 80 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 21 grams of total sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Gatorade Limited Edition Midnight Ice

Gatorade Midnight Ice, as its angsty color and name suggest, is a bit of an oddball. Most of the better-known Gatorade variants hint at their flavor via their color, like the grape-flavored light purple Riptide Rush, or blatantly call out the flavor in their name — you can’t get more straightforward than the orange, well, Orange. But it’s hard to put a finger on what fruit this black drink is supposed to evoke. It’s as if this emo-looking Gatorade is lamenting, “No one understands me!” In fact, it seems like the whole point of this flavor is to be mysterious and slightly spooky. Just look at the promo photos, which present Midnight Ice as an inky abyss darker than a vampire’s soul!

Unfortunately, as soon as you lay eyes on this flavor in real life, it’s apparent that its color is way closer to purple than jet black. And also… it tastes pretty similar to any other cool-colored Gatorades I’ve had. If you gave me a blind taste test of Midnight Ice and, let’s say, Cool Blue and Fierce Grape (and yes, I did have to pop onto the helpfully color-coded Gatorade Wiki to find those names instead of using my usual pet names for them, plain old “Blue” and “Purple”), I’m not confident I could tell the difference.

But of course, that comparison is only helpful if you’ve had a similar Gatorade flavor before. How would I describe this to someone with no frame of reference?

Honestly, I think the “purple=grape” association is so hard-wired that that’s my immediate comparison, even though upon further reflection, the taste doesn’t really feel as grape-y as the color does. When I close my eyes and open my mind, what comes to mind is that Midnight Ice is a rich yet mellow blend that’s kind of sweet, kind of tart, kind of tangy, kind of salty, and more than kind of artificial tasting… and yet all of these seemingly conflicting flavors work. It’s vaguely reminiscent of cough syrup yet so drinkable that the prospect of consuming a 28-ounce bottle feels comforting, not repulsive. It’s refreshing, the kind of more-exciting-than-water-but-still-not-too-overwhelming beverage that’s easy to crave and chug, whether you’re exercising, recovering from an illness, or just trying to beat the heat. All in all, while the drink isn’t as remarkable as its stark marketing would suggest, it’s definitely tasty, a fine addition to the Gatorade line (though I’m not sure I’d go out of my way to find it again since it’s only available in 28-ounce bottles at 7-Eleven or packs of 20-ounce bottles at Walmart).

I compared Midnight Ice to an emo teen earlier, but while those kids usually defend their style by asserting, “It’s not just a phase,” Midnight Ice can’t say the same. It’s a limited edition, so I’d recommend trying it soon if you want a fun new sports drink… or if you’re just trying to develop a more discerning palate for differentiating between similarly colored Gatorade flavors.

Purchased Price: $3.69
Size: 28 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per bottle) 190 calories, 0 grams of fat, 160 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Gatorade Water

“If you want a revolution, the only solution, evolve.”

Sage advice from an extremely catchy tune Gatorade used in ads about a decade ago.

Fast forward to today annnnd I guess the revolution is over, because… Gatorade. Water.

Gatorade Water? That’s devolution!

Step aside Fierce Grape, Riptide Rush, and Frost Glacier Freeze. There’s a new Gatorade flavor in town – nothing. Some ad wizard probably made your yearly salary (x10) to come up with that.

Do you love electrolytes but hate fun? Well, Gatorade Water might just be for you.

Have you ever known someone who’s always had a beard, but then they shave their beard, and then you see their clean-shaven face sans beard, and you think, “Oooof, you shoulda kept the beard?” Gatorade Water.

What’s next, Ben & Jerry’s milk?! Lay’s potatoes? … I’d try ’em both.

Ok, ok, I’ll stop being so cynical. After all, there’s some merit to Gatorade Water. I’m not gonna act like it’s the first bottled alkaline water with electrolytes. There’s clearly a market for this. Smartwater exists, but I still can’t shake the fact this feels dumb.

It’s kinda hard to review water. It’s water. I know there is literally at least one water sommelier out there who would disagree, but H2O is H2O.

Everyone knows someone who insists they can tell the difference between waters, but I guarantee if they were put to the test and blindfolded, that claim would be proven false. Anyway, I’m one of those people now. They’re all liars, but I’m not. I can tell the difference. I don’t think this is very good water.

I’m a Poland Spring loyalist, and when comparing that “pure spring water” to this, I could really tell the difference. This has that dull “dryness” on the finish that I can only assume is from the bit of alkaline and sodium used to lyte up the electros. I can’t really explain it, but I think it’s a common complaint people have with Aquafina, Dasani, or possibly both.

For some reason, I feel like this type of water can never get truly cold or refreshing. I had it in the fridge for a good 36 hours, and it just never got above “slightly chilled.” Does any of this make sense?

Perhaps it has to do with the pH of 7.5 “or higher?” I don’t actually know what that means for drinking water, but I guess it’s not “Planet Hollywood.” Quick Googling seems to indicate that 7.5 is about right for most water.

I drank this at the gym, and it just didn’t stack up to my usual Poland Spring. I also didn’t stack up, as I was pumping weights so tiny that one particularly nosy trainer asked me if I “tore my rotator cuff or something?”

Gatorade Water has “what plants crave,” but I, a “human man,” wasn’t invigorated like I would’ve been if I swigged on a flavored Gatorade or my usual cold Poland Spring. This is just dry tepid nothing. The bottle is sleek and has a solid cap construction, though. I’ll give it that.

Look, it’s water. Am I being too hard on water? Perhaps, but there are plenty of other waters and sports drinks that are better than this, so I say don’t even bother. You can always just have what I’m having – Hatorade.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 23.7 Fl. Oz.
Purchased at: ShopRite
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 65 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Mystery Flavor Gatorade

To be honest, I was really hoping Mystery Flavor Gatorade ended up being the company’s attempt at creating an actual Haterade. But it’s not because I imagine Haterade would be green in color and taste extremely sour and bitter, and that is not what this is.

Like many mystery flavor beverages, the liquid is a cloudy white with no chance for clues as to what it could be. But it’s also a color that many standard Gatorade varieties come in.

It has a strawberry scent, and its flavor leans towards strawberry with a slight sour kick. A part of me thinks it’s strawberry lemonade, but I’m leaning more towards strawberry kiwi. However, both are already in the Gatorade universe, and I don’t think it would be fun if the mystery flavor is one that currently exists. So I’m just going to combine the two and say my guess is strawberry kiwi lemonade.

There’s a QR code on the side of the bottle that led to a dead link when I scanned it with my phone. I’m sure it’ll be fixed someday. I don’t know if there are clues via that link, but the bottle does tell you to “Scan to Guess Mystery Flavor,” so maybe it’s just a website to enter your guess. As for mine, I will trust my taste buds and their experiences after having tried thousands of products over decades. I’m going to believe that they have the ability to determine what flavor this Gatorade variety is. I’m 90 percent confident they have the correct answer. Okay, 75 percent. A portion of me thinks it might be some other berry plus kiwi.

Whatever this flavor is, it’s tasty and as good as all the other dozen or so Gatorade options I’ve tried, but it doesn’t really stand out. If I was handed a cup of Mystery Flavor Gatorade during a 10k run, I’d drink it and think nothing of it because it’s such a normal tasting sports drink. If this was an attempt to think outside the box, like with a cotton candy or pumpkin spice Gatorade, it probably would’ve stopped me in my tracks.

In the end, it’s a perfectly fine tasting Gatorade. It’ll quench your thirst, give you electrolytes, and is suitable to dump on a coach who just won the big game. But I wish this ended up being a bit more exciting, like winning the big game.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 28 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 190 calories, 0 grams of fat, 380 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 48. grams of sugar (including 48 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.