Tag: Goldfish

What are Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Cheddar & Sour Cream Goldfish?

Pepperidge Farm has added a new blasted flavor to the Goldfish tank – Cheddar and Sour Cream.

How are they?

I’m a big fan of Goldfish. I’m an even bigger fan of Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles, so consider me stumped.

These are pretty bad.

I don’t really understand why. Cheddar Goldfish are delicious and iconic. I remember loving Flavor Blasted Sour Cream and Onion, so why did I find this flavor so off-putting?

I mean, they do deliver on the premise. They taste like cheese, and they taste like sour. That’s it, sour. I wouldn’t necessarily say “sour cream.” Not really sour cream and onion. They just tasted like sour cheese to me. If the flavor dust of the aforementioned Ruffles could rot, they’d taste similar to these.

I found the flavor to be very sharp. I’m not even talking sharp in the “sharp cheddar” sense, it was just a jolt of aggressively gross flavor that made me recoil, and it took a few more handfuls to mellow out.

Anything else you need to know?

Ok, I’m a total hypocrite because they did get a little more appetizing as I went along. I still managed to eat the bag in three sittings as opposed to my usual one.

Goldfish might be the most addictive snack on this watery rock we live on. I can eat ’em every day, and my mom says that’s ok. Sorry, I just wanted to get that old commercial jingle stuck in your head. I love the fishes ’cause they’re so delicious!

Seriously though, I eat way too many Goldfish. I’m practically up to my gills in Goldfish! My supermarket sells them for two bucks a pop, so I’ve probably had every flavor, and I’m pretty comfortable calling Cheddar and Sour Cream my least favorite. That includes the sweet varieties.

Conclusion:

There are probably five better Flavor Blasted styles of Goldfish on shelves right now. Just get the Flavor Blasted Cheddar. If they have the Sour Cream and Onion, grab those and eat both flavors independently because they don’t seem to mix.

Don’t get lured in by Cheddar and Sour Cream. They should join Luca Brasi and sleep with the fishes.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 6.6 oz bag
Purchased at: Stop and Shop
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (51 Pieces) 140 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 260 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 3 grams of protein.

What are Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Veggie Crackers?

Iconic Goldfish crackers have received a vegetable update, with two new flavors: Cheesy Tomato, made with tomato paste powder, and Sweet Carrot, made with carrot juice concentrate and carrot puree.

According to the packaging, one serving contains one-third of a serving of vegetables. The pictures in the middle of this review show the recommended serving size of 56 or 57 pieces.

How are they?

First of all, the smiling tomato and carrot shapes are adorable!

Taste-wise, I ended up liking the tomato version more than the carrot version, which was the opposite of what I expected. It tastes like tomato soup. Though it’s called Cheesy Tomato, it has less cheese than standard Cheddar Goldfish, so it likewise tastes less cheesy.

The Sweet Carrot version isn’t as sweet as, say, a graham cracker; it’s sweet in the same way that carrots are sweet. I find it a little bland. It reminds me more of sweet potato chips, with a texture that I might call mushy.

For both varieties, they aren’t as good as regular Goldfish, even though they are a little more expensive.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Pepperidge Farm seems to be implying that these are healthier than classic Goldfish. I’m no nutritionist, but the supposed health benefits appear to be minimal, and in some ways they are worse than the original.

The crackers make welcome additions to tomato soup and carrot soup, but still not as good as Cheddar Goldfish.

Conclusion:

Goldfish Veggie Crackers are a fun variation, but their flavor don’t compare to the OG.

Even so, I hope Pepperidge Farm brings us other veggie colors and shapes: broccoli, pumpkin, corn, and more. Crackers won’t replace vegetables, but they might help kids to think about them!

Purchased Price: $1.67
Size: 4 oz. bags
Purchased at: Dick’s Market
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Cheesy Tomato), 6 out of 10 (Sweet Carrot)
Nutrition Facts: Cheesy Tomato (57 pieces) 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, 0 grams of added sugars, and 3 grams of protein. Sweet Carrot (56 pieces) 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 2 grams of added sugars, and 2 grams of protein

Do the kiddos still use the word “epic”? I’m asking for a friend because, obviously, I know the answer because I’m totally cool. Wait. Do the kiddos still use the word “cool”? Anyhoo, Pepperidge Farm is using the word that may or may not be hip to help name its latest crunchy fish-shaped snack —- Goldfish Epic Crunch.

According to the packaging, the snack has a tortilla crunch and big flavor, and that “big flavor” is available in three varieties — Ranch, Nacho, and Honey BBQ. While Ranch and Nacho have graced the surface area of previous Goldfish, Honey BBQ appears to be a first for the snack.

The hollow pieces are more massive than regular Goldfish, and they do have an epic crunch that reminds me of rolled tortilla chips, but they don’t have epic flavor.

They’re not completely tasteless, but the seasonings are light in flavor, and they fade quickly, leaving behind mostly the whole grain tortilla base to torture my taste buds until I eat more.

The reason why these don’t do it for me is because, with all three varieties, they’re like diet versions of some of my favorite snacks. Ranch reminds me of Cool Ranch Doritos; Nacho evokes Nacho Cheese Doritos; and Honey BBQ brings to mind Fritos Honey BBQ Flavor Twists (the best Fritos, IMO). I’d rather have the tasty goodness of the originals than diet versions.

However, much like Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese Doritos, eating Goldfish Epic Crunch will lead to getting the seasoning on your fingers, which will turn your digits into savory suckers after you’re done eating. Although, it’s not as potent as what you’d get from Doritos. But, if you think about it, whatever seasoning ends up on your fingers won’t be on the Goldfish, which is where it needs to be.

My unscientific guess at how much lighter the taste is to those classic snacks would be about 50 percent, which is not strong enough to compel me to keep sticking my hand into the bag to catch more of these Goldfish. I wish they were, to use a Pepperidge Farm trademark, Flavor Blasted.

Overall, Pepperidge Farm’s Goldfish Epic Crunch is something I wouldn’t try again. With regular cheddar Goldfish, the salty and cheesiness makes me want to keep stuffing my mouth with them. But I don’t want to do that with these. They do have an epic crunch, but their flavor is wiggity wiggity wack.

Do the kiddos still use “wiggity wiggity wack”?

DISCLOSURE: I received a free sample of the product. Doing so did not influence my review in any way. Although, you probably guessed that while reading this review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 5.5 oz. bags
Purchased at: Received from Pepperidge Farm
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (26 pieces) Ranch – 130 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Nacho – 130 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Honey BBQ – 130 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

I won a goldfish from the fair when I was ten. I was so excited holding him in his bag on the drive home. Oh the fun we were gonna have… Then, I realized all he did was swim in circles. About a month later I had to flush him down the toilet. That was basically the same experience as buying and eating Twisted Grilled Cheese Goldfish Puffs.

The instant you tear open the bag, you’re met with no smell. Seriously, there is barely a hint of a scent from these things. I’ve never had a cheese based snack that didn’t have a distinct aroma. These smell like cardboard.

The lack of smell didn’t bother me at first because artificially flavored cheese isn’t exactly my favorite cologne, but then I tasted them and, yeah, we’re just dealing with a bland product here.

The flavor itself reminded me of Wise Cheez Doodles, only with much less flavor. These are the cheese puff equivalent of Fruit Stripe gum. The instant you get hit with the cheese flavor, you lose it. The only other sensation I got was a “corny” aftertaste. Not “corny” like my writing, but “corny” like “I just ate corn.”   

I’ll tell you one flavor I never thought of once while eating these – grilled cheese.   There’s really nothing “grilled cheese” about them. I kinda figured you’d get a nice buttery element with the cheese, but nope. Nada. 

They could have tagged this with any description they wanted and it would have been on par with “Twisted Grilled Cheese.” That name is strictly a marketing ploy. I was really hoping they would have been more in line with the Flavor Blasted Cheddar Goldfish crackers, but alas, they were just weak cheese doodles.

You’re probably wondering where the “twist” comes in. So am I. Each puff has little green sprinkles on them, which I assume are pepper flakes, because there is a small heat element. Very small. This of course is backed up by the fact that neither “pepper” nor anything really relating to “pepper” is listed in the ingredients. So…either way, the heat lingers on your tongue longer than the actual cheese flavor.

It’s not all bad though. The texture is the saving grace – on a scale from “fresh puffed Cheeto” to “stale Cap’n Crunch cereal piece,” it definitely lands closer to the former.  There is a nice light crisp to each bite, but in time, I could feel them shredding the roof of my mouth.

And ya know why? Because I’m still eating them as I type. Here I am, talking about how boring these Goldfish are, yet they’re going down like water…which is ironic because I think Pepperidge Farm’s main reason for shaping their crackers like fish was due to the fact they pair so well with water. I’ve never eaten any variety of Goldfish without chugging a bottle of H2O due to excessive salt dehydration. These are certainly no different. Salt city.

Twisted Grilled Cheese Goldfish Puffs are probably the worst Goldfish product I’ve ever had. Not to go all superficial on you guys, but they aren’t even as cute as regular goldfish. They’re fatter and more squished in appearance. There’s a certain sadness hidden behind each of those smiles. Although to be fair to Twisted Grilled Cheese, the original Cheddar sets an unrealistic standard for Goldfish alike. Real Goldfish have curves.

So, in conclusion, are these better than most puffed cheese snacks? No. Are they better than regular cheddar Goldfish crackers? Not even close.

There are so many cheesy alternatives in the supermarket, there’s almost no reason to buy these unless you are a Goldfish completist. Still, I can’t give them a super low score because of their inherent eatability – which I’m being told is not a word. Tomato, tuh-ma-toe.

(Nutrition Facts – 1.1 oz – 140 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, .5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Pepperidge Farm Twisted Grilled Cheese Goldfish Puffs
Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 6 oz. bag
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Light and crisp. Addicting. Snack smiles back. Catchy advertising jingles of yore.
Cons: Bland. Salty. Mouth roof rippers. False grilled cheese advertising. Weakest twist since M. Night’s most recent flick.

Look, I know.

I know I shouldn’t have tried to pogo through Times Square. Or put the Tootsie Roll in the Easy Bake Oven. Or tried to build a tent in gale force winds in the middle of the Mexico desert. I do ridiculous things sometimes because I’m curious if they can be done. Somebody should stop me.

But nobody did. Not when I was walking to the grocery. Not at the back of aisle 3. Not the guy hacking up sirloin at the meat counter. So, unhindered by human or meat cleaver, I dive in to Pepperidge Farm Cheeseburger Goldfish Crackers, one-by-one.

Starting simple, the cheddar is familiar and orange as the hunk of cheese from whence it came. It’s wonderful in that nutty, salty, and savory way. It’s perhaps a bit too safe, but it’s also nice to be reminded that there’s a reason these have been bobbing about since 1962.

I’m surprised and disappointed to find the ketchup tastes much similar to the cheddar cracker, but with a very, very, very, very minuscule hint of canned tomato paste. Some may say the tomato isn’t there at all, but, if you close your eyes and use your imagination, you can taste a tomato-y afterthought at the end. Those looking for the sweet tang of ketchup shall be sad in this tomato effort, but the sprinklies of salt coating each fish help things along. It’s not a bad fishy, but not noticeably different enough from the cheddar to declare its taste as unique.

Now, on to the most curious beast: the burger cracker.

No skipping around the tulips: it’s pretty good. No hints of metal, artificial smoke, or burnt-charcoal. There’s a salty, savory, roasted-portabella edge with a hint of caramelized onion bits found at the bottom of the pan. Sure, it may not be the medium-rare hunk of cow I look for, but it holds its own, and, in that capacity, it goes excellently with the cheddar. The two eaten together may encourage you to shovel up every last crumb of the bag as if you were raised by wolves. Do not be ashamed of being raised by wolves: scoop those crackers down, you wolf-human.

Maybe it’s the smell of charcoal in the air, but I think I like these. I really do. They’re not spectacular, even a little too safe, but they’re also not putrid.

They’re savory, nutty, cheesy and easy to chomp. It would be exciting to see Pepperidge Farm go further with the idea of the burger: give me some jalapeño, Colby, and mustard-coated Goldfish. Bacon and bleu. Give me all the pickle-flavored fishies you can muster. I shall eat them. Eat them all. If I’m going off the deep end, so be it.

But maybe you will join me? Here? In the deep end? It’s nice. And way fun. And has lots of crackers.

(Nutrition Facts – 56 pieces – 140 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Pepperidge Farm Cheeseburger Goldfish Crackers
Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 6.3 oz. bag
Purchased at: Morton Williams
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Nutty. Savory. Burger cracker not gross. Cheddar remains unchanged. Brown bits of caramelized onions. Salt sprinklies. Benefits of being raised by wolves. Pogo sticks.
Cons: Ketchup tastes like cheddar. Absence of tang. Can’t order medium rare. No pickles? Trying to set up a tent in gale force winds.