Tag: Hershey’s

REVIEW: Hershey’s Air Delight Aerated Milk Chocolate Bar

Stephanie 50 Comments

Hershey’s Air Delight Aerated Milk Chocolate Bar

When I lived in England, there were three things I did routinely for fun: Drink, watch reruns of The Simpsons, and eat chocolate. Not necessarily in that order, but often during the course of a single day. There was this milk chocolate candy bar called Wispa, which was very fun to say in a British accent and unique to my American chocolate sensibilities due to the fact that it was “aerated.” The chocolate had tiny air bubbles in it, which didn’t change the flavor of the bar in any way, but did make the texture a little creamier. Cadbury’s Wispa bar was sort of interesting for what it was at the time (it was discontinued after I left and renamed Dairy Milk Bubbly, which sounds HORRIBLE), but it was still a plain old chocolate bar that melted in me gob faster than I could say “Bob’s-your-uncle.” Gov’na.

Hershey’s Air Delight Aerated Milk Chocolate Bar Outtards

Inexplicably, aerated chocolate has been a trend in Europe for a long time (see also: Aero bars), and now, it’s finally landed on our shores. Hershey’s has released a similar milk chocolate bar that they have dubbed “Hershey’s Air Delight.” Just like the Wispa, it’s chock-full o’ holes. Irregularly-shaped holes. Now let’s get something nice and sparkling clear. I happen to be one of those people who has an unpleasant visceral reaction to the sight of many irregularly-shaped holes or circles clustered together on an object. Things like sea sponges and rashes make my skin crawl. I don’t believe I’m alone in this. OK, maybe I am… But at least I know that it could be a lot worse.

One of my very good friends can’t stand the sight of bubbles or a mound of beads when they are evenly-spaced and of equal shape and size, which you are probably far more likely to encounter in daily life. As a clean freak, the possibility of constantly getting the creepy-crawlies from dish bubbles would mean I was destined for a lifetime of discomfort, so I’m grateful for the small (evenly-shaped) things.

That being said, Hershey’s Air Delight Aerated Milk Chocolate uses these misshapen air bubbles to make you think they’ve packed more chocolate into the same package when they’re actually giving you less. Half of the candy bar you just bought is air. The Air Delight bar is divided into several rectangular pieces, just like the original Hershey’s bar, but the pieces are slightly thicker. When you bite into it, it feels a little bit crumblier and crispier than a normal chocolate bar, but that could be because the holes (ergh!) are collapsing upon each other. The aerated milk chocolate itself tastes like regular milk chocolate and seems a bit creamier.

Hershey’s Air Delight Aerated Milk Chocolate Bar Innards

Now, let’s get to the uncomfortable part. The holes (gah!) are like honeycomb. Teensy little bubbles in the chocolate. I tried not to look too closely lest I would want to scratch off my own flesh, but it was actually not that bad. I guess the knowledge that the bubble/holes are edible and not caused by pestilence makes it more tolerable.

Anyway, Hershey’s Air Delight is a fine milk chocolate bar with a nice milk chocolate flavor, even if the aerating process doesn’t really add anything to it but a slight crunchiness when you bite and a smooth creaminess when you chew — a small reward for blowing air holes in my candy. Now if they had been speed holes to make the chocolate bar go faster, that would have been awesome.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar (1.44 ounces/40 grams) – 200 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 300 milligrams of potassium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 22 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 8% calcium, and 2% iron.)

Item: Hershey’s Air Delight Aerated Milk Chocolate Bar
Price: $1.19
Size: 1.44 ounces
Purchased at: CVS
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Delicious Hershey’s milk chocolate flavor. Fanciful chocolate bar names spoken in foreign accents. Bigger, thicker candy bar pieces. Has a nice crunch. Melts in your mouth. Speed holes.
Cons: Irregularly-shaped holes. Aeration process does nothing more than inject air into the candy and siphon money from your wallet. Creepy-crawlies. European candy trends that don’t really make sense. Candy bar holes are not speed holes.

REVIEW: Nestle Soy Sauce Kit Kat

Marvo 31 Comments

DISGRACE!

I demand the limited edition Japanese Soy Sauce Kit Kat commit seppuku right now, because it’s nothing like what I expected.

What did I expect?

I thought the whole Soy Sauce Kit Kat was going to come in the color of death, much like actual soy sauce. I’m not talking about just black or the color of eyeliner around Pete Wentz’s eyes, I’m talking about a black so dark that it’s only found in black holes and in the chest cavity of those who kill kittens and puppies for pleasure.

I wanted it to be so black that if I were to touch it, I would either wither and turn into a pile of dust or my fingers would end up in an alternate universe where dinosaurs still roam the lands and Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have their own reality show called Survivor: Heidi and Spencer Trapped on an Island Forever With Hungry Dinosaurs.

Instead it has a white chocolate exterior and a tan wafer interior.

While the Soy Sauce Kit Kat didn’t come in a color that was blacker than the void where Simon Cowell’s heart is supposed to be, I thought it was going to have a strong salty soy sauce flavor that’s so real that I would want to melt each Kit Kat finger down to liquid form and dip my spicy tuna roll or salmon nigirizushi into it. But the Soy Sauce Kit Kat doesn’t have a hint of soy sauce flavor, instead it has a strong maple syrup scent and taste.

WTF, Japan!

I expected, nay, I wanted to be disgusted by this flavor of Kit Kat. I also wanted to brag about how I was man enough to consume a salty, black Kit Kat that made my saliva glands close shut by getting a t-shirt that said, “I Survived a Soy Sauce Kit Kat.” But no, Nestle, the makers of Kit Kat in Japan had to rain on my parade and sic Godzilla on my floral floats and marching bands.

Now I’m stuck with a box of delicious tasting, crispy, maple syrup-flavored, white chocolate Kit Kat, which is the complete opposite of what I wanted. The only thing that kind of disgusted me was the unusually long length of time the maple syrup flavor lingered in my mouth, but it didn’t make me gag like a salty soy sauce flavored candy would’ve.

What are those crazy bastards in Japan going to do to mess with my taste buds next time? A Natto (fermented soybeans) Kit Kat that tastes like cotton candy? A Seaweed Kit Kat with a caramel flavor?

DISGRACE!

(Note: The AV Club reviewed these last year.)

Item: Nestle Soy Sauce Kit Kat
Price: FREE
Size: 12-pack
Purchased at: Received from parents
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice maple syrup flavor. Crispy. Heidi and Spencer being eaten by dinosaurs. The variety of Kit Kat flavors in Japan. Being able to say I ate something disgusting.
Cons: Doesn’t have a hint of soy sauce flavor. Doesn’t come in the color of death. Fingers are smaller than regular sized Kit Kat. Hard to find outside of Japan. The maple syrup flavor lingered in my mouth longer than I wanted it to. Limited edition. Having your parade attacked by Godzilla.

York Mints

Marvo 15 Comments

(Editor’s Note: To understand this review, please watch this old York Peppermint Pattie commercial.)

When I bite into a York Mint, I get the sensation that my balls have been groped a little too long by the cold, gloveless hands of my doctor, making me cough more than I should. While my testes slowly crawl up into my body to get away from the doctor’s rough, cold fingers, I wonder if it really was necessary to take my temperature with a rectal thermometer.

When I bite into a York Mint, I get the sensation that I’m sitting with a beautiful, intelligent girlfriend in the middle of romantic, candlelit Italian restaurant, holding her hands in mine and expressing my eternal love by whispering to her, “I love you dearly. When I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but now I think you’re even more beautiful. I love everything about you. Your smile. Your eyes. Your mind. Your heart. Your soul. When I caress you, kiss you, or touch you, I feel only happiness that I never want to end. My soul is complete with you and I want to be with you forever.”

Then after pouring out my heart and soul, she says, “I’m leaving you because I’m a lesbian and I have you to thank for helping me realize that.”

When I bite into a York Mint, I get the sensation that I wake up half naked in a bathtub of ice in an abandoned, cockroach-infested apartment and on a table next to the tub is an old Nokia cell phone with a half-charged battery and a note that has the carefully-written address of my location and the words, “We’ve taken one of your kidneys, call 911 immediately.”

All of this happened after meeting some dude with an Eastern European accent about a futon couch he was selling for $20 on Craigslist because he was moving to another city.

When I bite into a York Mint, I get the sensation that I kind of got gypped. I expected them to be typical breath-freshening mints, like Altoids or Certs, since they were placed on the same shelf as all the other mints and gums. However, they are mint candy dipped in dark chocolate with a mint shell. Basically, they’re York Peppermint Patties in the form of Sixlets-sized balls, which I wish my doctor would grope instead of mine. There were about 30-35 pieces in the shiny, attractive tin and three York Mints have ten calories, zero fat, and three grams of sugar.

So if you like York Peppermint Patties, you’ll probably like York Mints. But if you’re looking for a mint to freshen your breath when you’re sitting with your attractive significant other in the middle of a romantic, candlelit Italian restaurant, holding their hands in yours and expressing your undying love, I’d suggest getting some Altoids and then bracing yourself for the possibility that you’ve helped them come out of the closet.

Item: York Mints
Price: $1.99
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: If you like York Peppermint Patties, you’ll like these. $20 for a futon couch. Craigslist. Zero fat. Pretty, shiny tin. Dark chocolate, albeit very little.
Cons: They’re minty candy, not breath-freshening mints. Getting a kidney removed without your approval. Un-gloved doctor’s hands. Anal thermometers.

REVIEW: Hershey’s Kisses with Peanut Butter

Marvo 47 Comments

(Editor’s Note: Today’s review is mostly for the dudes out there, but it might have some helpful tidbits for you ladies as well.)

Holy crap! It’s Valentine’s Day and you did absolutely nothing for your woman! All the roses are sold out. Too late to make dinner reservations ANYWHERE! The candy stores are closed. Well don’t fret, homie! The Impulsive Buy has got your back, dawg!

First off, tell your honey to come over to your place at a certain time. Then go buy a couple of bags of Hershey’s Kisses with Peanut Butter, about $250 worth of small vanilla-scented candles, some fresh strawberries and grapes, a few mylar heart-shaped balloons, some nice parchment, a calligraphy set, a tiger print loincloth, and the latest issue of GQ magazine.

Some optional things include, condoms, satin sheets, edible water-based lubricant, fuzzy handcuffs, the key to open the handcuffs, a feather, massage oils, Barry White and Marvin Gaye CDs, a paint brush, and the game Twister.

When you have everything, the first thing you should do is make a trail of Hershey’s Kisses with Peanut Butter from the front door to the bedroom.

If you live in a dorm room, you’re not going to need many Hershey’s Kisses to lead a woman to your bedroom. If you live in the Playboy Mansion, on the other hand, you also won’t need as many Hershey’s Kisses, because there is a 99 percent chance that a woman is already in your bedroom.

Now when she opens the door, make sure she sees the trail of Hershey’s Kisses. Use a lit candle, a flower, a balloon, or a picture of Brad Pitt to grab her attention toward the trail of chocolatey goodness. Also, leave a note that’s written on nice parchment in calligraphy that says, “The number of Hershey’s Kisses you pick up, will be the number of kisses I’ll give you tonight.”

You don’t have to mean it, but it sounds super romantic.

Since the trail leads to your bedroom, you have to make your room romantic. Since chicks dig candles, place the small vanilla-scented candles all over the room. Unless she’s a pyromaniac, then I’d consider not having any candles, matches, or lighters in your place. I’d also consider unplugging your stove and oven.

The most important thing about the candles is to not light them all. Maybe light about 25 percent of them, because you don’t want a lot of light, you want a little illumination, because it looks more romantic and you’ll have a lot of unused candles, which you can return to the store the next day.

In your bedroom, you should also have a bowl of fresh strawberries and grapes. When she’s in your bedroom, lying next to you, feed her the fruits. You want to make her feel like Cleopatra in one of those Egyptian wall drawings or in one of the many Technicolor films about her life.

Before she arrives, make sure you have your tiger-print loincloth on. It has to be a tiger-print loincloth because what you want to convey to her is that you are an animal. A Spongebob Squarepants loincloth will not work because it will convey that you are an eight-year-old who hasn’t had an erection yet.

The GQ magazine has a double role here. Scan through the magazine and look at all the poses the male models are in and pick one that you like. When your woman enters the room, the pose that you are in should be the pose that you pick.

The other role the GQ magazine plays in this romantic scene is it’s something you can read while you wait for your woman to arrive.

Now when she enters the bedroom, tell her to come closer, and use one of these lines.

1. “These Hershey’s Kisses maybe sweet, but you’re sweeter.”
2. “These Hershey’s Kisses with Peanut Butter may have the winning combination of chocolate and peanut butter, but you and I make an even more winning combination.”
3. “If you think you’ve got a lot of “Kisses” now, come next to me and I’ll give you even more.
4. “I’ve got Hershey’s Kisses all over my body. Why don’t you come here and find them?”

After all of that, she should want to make sweet, sweet lovin’ with you, unless she either thinks you look really silly in that loincloth or she found out about the sexual transmitted diseases you have.

Finally, here’s a little warning for you: DO NOT EAT ANY OF THE HERSHEY’S KISSES WITH PEANUT BUTTER!

Why?

Because you don’t want peanut butter breath while making sweet, sweet lovin’.

Also, because the Hershey’s Kisses with Peanut Butter are frickin’ addictive. If you eat just one, your romantic trail of chocolaty goodness to your bedroom will disappear. They’re not as good as Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, but they’re pretty darn close.

So if you follow these steps, you will dodge the last minute Valentine’s Day bullet, get a little sweet, sweet lovin’, and get to pretend you’re Tarzan with your tiger-print loincloth.

(Editor’s Note: Thanks to Sasha_Kitty who told me about the Hershey’s Kisses with Peanut Butter a few months ago. I would’ve reviewed them sooner, but I didn’t find them until the other week. I will blame this on the fact that I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.)

Item: Hershey’s Kisses with Peanut Butter
Purchase Price: $3.79
Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Pros: Damn good. The combination of chocolate AND peanut butter. Addictive. Sweet, sweet lovin’.
Cons: Peanut butter breath while making sweet, sweet lovin’. Being laughed at while wearing a tiger-print loincloth. My lonely Valentine’s Day.

Hershey’s Kissables

Marvo 42 Comments

As some of you may know from being long time readers of The Impulsive Buy, I am an awesome kisser.

But this wasn’t always the case.

I remember the first girl I ever kissed. It happened during my senior year in high school and I was seeing a girl who was a junior at a different high school than me. Her name was…

Oh, maybe it would be safe to NOT put her name here. She might deny it if she ever found out I wrote about it.

Anyway, we were lying face to face on the carpet of her family’s living room, just talking about typical high school things. Then she stopped talking and looked deeply into my eyes. I noticed her look, stopped talking, and then looked deeply into her eyes. She drew her face closer to mine and closed her eyes. My male carnal instincts knew that she wanted to kiss me, so I closed my eyes and drew my lips towards hers. As our lips touched…

What the hell!?! I sound like a trashy romance novel. Blech!

Anyway, we made out for ten minutes. She knew what she was doing, but I didn’t. So when we pulled our lips apart, I looked at her and she looked at me, then I looked at her mouth. You know the term “swapping spit”? Well we did that, but I took it a little too literally.

I either had really overactive saliva glands, thought her mouth was a spittoon, or I was a Pavlonian dog, because there was saliva running down her chin and a shimmering ring of saliva around AND above her lips.

Sadly, that extremely wet, sloppy kiss probably led to her decision to break up with me a week later.

However, after years of training with pillows, my fists, CPR dummies, numerous photos of either Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie, or Lisa Loeb with their lips cut out, and bowls of Jello, I have become an expert kisser. A makeoutologist, if you will.

I now know when to kiss, how much pressure to use, when to use the tongue, when to gently bite her lower lip, when to kiss her on the chin, when to kiss her on the eyelids, when to stick my tongue in her ear, when to suck on her nose, and when to lick her eyebrows.

Don’t believe me? Just watch this video of me making out.

Despite dozens of photos with lips cut out and all my other efforts, I am apparently still not as kissable as the new Hershey’s Kissables, which are candy coated mini chocolate Hershey’s Kisses.

What do they have that I don’t have?

Multi-colored candy coatings?

Yeah, that’s great if I wanted to be in a Benetton ad, but I don’t.

Shaped like Hershey’s Kisses?

I hate to say this, but Hershey’s Kisses have always looked like steaming coils of dog poop.

Tasty chocolatey goodness?

If I had some chocolate pudding and rubbed it all over me, I could be tasty chocolatey goodness too.

Seriously, there’s nothing really special about Hershey’s Kissables, because they taste like M&M’s. However, tasting like M&M’s is a good thing, because I love them M&M’s.

If you hate M&M’s then you probably won’t like these, and you probably hate puppies and kitten too.

(Editor’s Note: Check out Cybele’s Candy Blog for another review. Go read TG’s take on Hershey’s Kissables. Finally, The Message Whore also reviewed them, but I can’t find the review due to his server crashing, but go show LordJezo some love.)

Item: Hershey’s Kissables
Purchase Price: 55 cents
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Tasty chocolatey goodness. Tastes like M&M’s. Colorful like a Benetton ad. I’m a makeoutologist.
Cons: My first kiss. Hershey’s Kisses look like coils of dog poop. I might have overactive saliva glands. My ability to write love scenes for trashy romance novels.