REVIEW: Hostess Mystery Flavor Twinkies

Unless he commits a series of particularly heinous murders or, god forbid, becomes an elected official, it stands to reason that we will not know the name Dude Dad in five years. (To be frank, I didn’t know it before buying this box of Twinkies.) Like 98% of all modern day internet characters, he is transient by nature, and will be gone as quickly as he appeared, a mildly concerning but short-lived rash in YouTube form.

It is fitting, then, that he is the spokesdude for Twinkies’ new mystery flavor; mystery flavors, be they for soda or snack cake, are not made with permanence in mind. Instead, they exist as a quick way for their brand to make a buck when all of their standard offerings are lagging.

So what IS Twinkies’ new mystery flavor? Opening my first package, I got a slight odor of “mildly burning plastic.” That dissipated quickly, however, and I was left with the scent of straight-up Twinkie. The spongy outer cake is traditional Twinkie, so no clue there. The cream, however, was distinctly different from a traditional Twinkie filling and, quite honestly, all over the map. My first thought was, “Oh, this is just cream cheese flavored?” And then, “No, wait— this is definitely berry.” By my third dip, I was convinced it was something tropical—pineapple, perhaps—but I was getting cotton candy notes by the fourth taste.

In the end, I had no idea. I tried the filling from two more Twinkies and had similarly diverging tastes each time. I even managed to add Key Lime and “something citrusy” to my list of guesses, and if I had to absolutely wager on something, I’d go with “Key Lime pie.” I’ll keep trying to guess because, hey, these are pretty decent, so I don’t mind having to eat them. (It’s worth noting that if this is a Key Lime Twinkie, it wouldn’t be the first time. There was a Ghostbuster-related “Key Lime Slime” flavor in 2016, of which we said, “The lime flavor is very subtle. It tasted like a regular Twinkie with a faint citrus flavor.” Which, yeah, precisely—these too.)

Visiting Hostess’s Instagram didn’t help; comments on their post about the mystery flavor yielded a wide and hilariously diverse range of guesses, including Cherry Limeade, blue raspberry, Pina colada, bubble gum, Twizzler, raspberry lemonade, birthday cake, peanut butter fluff, and Swedish Fish, to name just a few.

Visiting Dude Dad’s Instagram helped even less. However, I did get to see him attempt a humorous video exploring the differences between state’s firework laws, one where his wife did a better job mowing than him, and one where he and his wife went rollerblading wearing loud 90’s attire while singing along to “This Is How We Do It.” I think I’ll add “How did this guy get 1 million followers” to my list of mysteries. Thanks for the double mystery, Hostess!

Purchased Price: $3.48
Size: 13.58 oz box/10 pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cakes) 280 calories, 9 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes

Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes Both

What are Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes?

Available in Chocolate Mocha and Caramel Macchiato flavors, these individually wrapped donuts are infused with caffeine via unflavored coffee bean extract. Per the wrapper, each Jumbo Donette contains 50-70 milligrams per pastry, or about the caffeine content of one cup of coffee.

How are they?

Although I’m not a regular coffee drinker, I do consume caffeinated beverages – usually diet soda or sparkling water – each morning. My daily caffeine intake ranges 40-75 milligrams. More than that makes me struggle to fall asleep at night, and if I want to stay up late, I usually just over-think embarrassing moments from my past.

Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes make some intriguing caffeine claims, and since their caffeine content falls right within my usual range, I was eager to test them out. For two days in a row, I ate one in lieu of my morning caffeinated beverage.

Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes Mocha Mug

Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes Mocha Split

Both Chocolate Mocha and Caramel Macchiato varieties are the size I would consider to be standard for a donut (equivalent to three regular Donettes, for the Hostess brand-minded). The pastry is dense and chewy, with some inconsistency throughout the texture. Pockets of the donut contain tough, gummy crumbs, which felt unusual. Both products are also covered with a smooth, sweet icing glaze that, happily, doesn’t create the oily aftertaste I’ve experienced with other packaged baked goods.

Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes Macchiato Mug

Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes Macciato Split

Of the two varieties, I preferred the Caramel Macchiato flavor. Although I couldn’t taste any hint of espresso, the caramel flavor was strong, creamy, and sweet. The Chocolate Mocha variety is bland by comparison, tasting of mild coffee and very little chocolate. Both varieties, which list natural and artificial flavorings as their main flavor source, would have benefitted from a stronger coffee taste.

Most importantly, was the best part of waking up a Jumbo Donette (not in my cup)?

It sure helped! Both days, I felt as alert and energized as I normally do after my daily intake, and the effects sustained throughout the day. If you are a five-cup-a-day coffee drinker, a Boost Jumbo Donut will probably feel like a drop in the metaphorical mug, but it was just enough for me to substitute one or two daily beverages. I guess we could always chalk it up to the placebo effect, but that in itself is also a very powerful thing.

Anything else you need to know?

The wrappers note that this product is not recommended for pregnant women, children under 18 years old, or individuals sensitive to caffeine.

For the caffeine-conscious, keep in mind that caffeine content per cup of coffee can vary wildly from the 50-70 mg a Boost Jumbo Donette promises. Many online sources can estimate the content of your favorite caffeine source if you wish to compare like I did.

Conclusion:

Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes Stack

Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes provide a gentle, well, boost from the infused caffeine. Neither variety completely recreates the flavors found in your favorite coffee shop, but both will provide an effective pick-me-up.

Purchased Price: 2 for $3.75
Size: 2.5 oz. (71 g) each
Purchased at: Sheetz
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Caramel Macchiato), 5 out of 10 (Chocolate Mocha)
Nutrition Facts: (Both flavors) 300 calories, 15 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hostess Limited Edition Lemonade Stand Twinkies

Hostess Limited Edition Lemonade Stand Twinkies Box

What are Hostess Limited Edition Lemonade Stand Twinkies?

The classic golden sponge cake of a Twinkie now has a pink-colored, lemon-flavored creamy filling. It’s summertime Americana (lemonade stands) stuffed inside year-round Americana (Twinkies).

Luckily, these cakes are flavored like lemonade, not lemonade stands, which would taste like wood and paint.

How are they?

Hostess Limited Edition Lemonade Stand Twinkies Split

When I cut the Twinkie open, I could faintly smell the lemon. This was a promising sign: lemon was definitely present, but it didn’t smell like Lysol.

Fortunately, this initial impression continued when I ate the cake. It tasted primarily like a standard Twinkie, but there was just enough of a subtle lemon flavor to bring it up a notch. It’s simple, but sometimes simple is best. These Twinkies didn’t blow my socks off, but I wouldn’t mind buying them again.

Hostess Limited Edition Lemonade Stand Twinkies with Lemonade

Anything else you need to know?

According to the internet, there were lemon Twinkies back in 2012. Honestly, I don’t understand why it’s taken Hostess so long to bring them back. It seems like an obvious combination, and it works quite nicely.

Conclusion:

If you’re looking for a lemon-heavy dessert, this ain’t it. But if you like regular Twinkies and want something just a little different, these will hit the spot.

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 13.58 oz. box
Purchased at: Smith’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cakes) 280 calories, 9 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 32 grams of sugar, 31 grams of added sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hostess Strawberry Cheesecake Donettes

Hostess Strawberry Cheesecake Donettes Bag

What are Hostess Strawberry Cheesecake Donettes?

Lemon? Orange? Blueberry? Nah. This year’s quintessential summer flavor, at least according to Hostess, is a dense and creamy strawberry cheesecake. These mini donuts feature strawberry-flavored cake with a cheesecake-flavored glaze.

How are they?

They are hit or miss.

Hostess Strawberry Cheesecake Donettes Cake

The cake carries a pleasant and decently authentic strawberry flavor that I enjoy, but the moisture level is as unpredictable as a summer shower. While the sweetness level is solid, every other mini donut I try is offensively dry with a crumbly off-putting texture that kills the vibe.

Hostess Strawberry Cheesecake Donettes Glaze

The cheesecake component is relatively light, with a subtle tang that does just enough to differentiate itself from a standard glaze. While the flavor is decent, the coating lines the roof of my mouth like uncooked fat, and if that were ever served to me as a cheesecake, it would be sent back in a flash. The flavor balance is good, but like with the cake, the texture is off and takes away greatly from the snacking experience.

Anything else you need to know?

Cheesecake originated in Greece and was often served as a wedding cake. That’s pretty cool, right?

Conclusion:

When the Donettes aren’t dryer than a July night in the desert, they’re okay. But I don’t feel confident putting my hand into the bag and pulling out something that won’t disappoint. If you’re a sucker for all things cheesecake, these may be worth your time, but they miss the mark on delivering a snackable ode to a fine dessert.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 10.5 oz bag
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3 donuts) 210 calories, 10 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 16 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Hostess S’mores CupCakes

Hostess Limited Edition S mores Cupcakes

What are Limited Edition Hostess S’mores Cupcakes?

If you miss roasting marshmallows around the fire pit with friends, Hostess has a new s’mores spin on its classic Cupcake to hold you over.

How are they?

All the elements are here – graham flavored cake (I think?), marshmallow cream, and that delicious sheet of chocolate with the iconic white squiggle, yet I found these ultimately disappointing.

Hostess Limited Edition S mores Cupcakes Bottom

I mean, they’re delicious, but they don’t taste THAT much like s’mores.
The “yellow” cake is clearly brownish and tastes mildly like honey graham crackers, but the box does not indicate that. Assuming I’m correct, that was a great touch. They should’ve ramped up the flavor a lot more, though.

Hostess Limited Edition S mores Cupcakes Side

The cream does taste like marshmallow, but not enough to really separate it from the standard Hostess filling. If you’re expecting Marshmallow Fluff, I’m afraid you’re burnt.

Hostess Limited Edition S mores Cupcakes Top

The chocolate is as perfect as it’s always been. No complaints here*. The weird fondant-like texture has always been delicious and reminds me of my fading youth. I wish Hostess sold these in individual slices like George Costanza’s chocolate pudding skin idea.

*Complaint here instead – the squiggle should have been marshmallow flavored.

Anything else you need to know?

With all that said, there’s still just enough here to differentiate from a regular Hostess CupCake. It’s not the “s’more bomb” (which is not an actual thing people say, well, unless you wanna make it a thing) I was hoping it’d be, but I definitely think you should pick up a box.

S’mores are a hot treat, but do what I did and freeze a few of ’em. They’re phenomenal when chilled.

Conclusion:

I’ve never had a Hostess CupCake I didn’t enjoy, and this s’mores variety isn’t changing that, but it still kinda burns my marbits that S’mores CupCakes didn’t rival my all-time favorite flavor, Orange.

Here’s the thing – these might be better than the originals, but they don’t deliver on the flavor promised enough. I guess Hostess ultimately decided to take the “less is s’more” approach so people wouldn’t forget about the O.G.

Purchased Price: $2.86
Size: 12.7 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 CupCake) 170 calories, 6 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 135 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of total carbohydrates, 22 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of fiber, 1 gram of protein.