Santa is being blackmailed by a candy cane consortium. This cabal holds torrid photos of him chain smoking candy cigars while downing eggnog in underground, high-stakes Candy Land games.

That’s the narrative I have constructed anyhow to explain how a cane-shaped hard candy holds dominion as the de facto peppermint-flavored Christmas treat over chocolate alternatives. Refusing to bow to Santa’s shame-induced minty mandate, Baskin-Robbins is making York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream their December Flavor of the Month. Mini York peppermint patties are mixed with a dark chocolate mint ribbon in mint flavored ice cream.

Packing enough peppermint punch that Baskin-Robbins must have clearcut Mr. Mint’s Peppermint Forest to meet menthol demand. Take that big candy cane! York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream certainly believes in truth in advertising.

Mint flavor relentlessly and refreshingly wages a cold war on your mouth while the chocolate mint ribbon adds a smooth, fudgy component and provides a consistent if somewhat muted chocolate note. Once one of the plentiful peppermint patties come into play, the already pleasant experience is enhanced by a crisp snap in addition to the fully present classic flavor.

Despite the heavy peppermint hand, it never crosses the candy colored line into being too much of a good thing. A bit more cocoa flavor, courtesy of surface mining Chocolate Mountain’s chocolatey ore perhaps, would provide a better balance, but that is a minor quibble.

The unfortunate loss of habitat driving a dejected Mr. Mint from a life of lumberjacking to that of figure skating aside, peppermint fans, and York Peppermint Pattie fans in particular, are well served by this satisfying take on the genuine article. Baskin-Robbins makes my nice list for exchanging the questionably ubiquitous candy cane for the underrepresented but delicious York Peppermint Pattie.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: Large scoop (4 oz.)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Single Scoop) 300 calories, 18 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 27 grams of sugar, 2 grams of dietary fiber, and 4 grams of protein.

Bucking the ho ho ho-hum trend of cramming peppermint or gingerbread into every new or limited flavor this time of year, Baskin-Robbins’ November Flavor of the Month is Tiramisu. Tiramisu-flavored ice cream is filled with pound cake pieces, a chocolate mocha ribbon, and chocolate flakes.

Coffee is unabashedly the dominant flavor in this dish, emanating a distinct smell and exercising as much subtlety as a Targaryen barbecue. The tiramisu-flavored ice cream base seems enjoyable on its own, but I had difficulty isolating it from the generous mocha ribbon.

Unfortunately, this proves to be too much of a good thing as a coffee-flavored ribbon in a coffee-flavored base leaves a somewhat bitter aftertaste and feels as unnecessary as taking a dip in Goo Lagoon when you already live in a pineapple under the sea.

It also creates a problem for the semi-sweet chocolate flakes which add a nice snap but fail to punch up the chocolate notes enough to stand out despite decent representation. Meanwhile, the scarce pound cake pieces are relegated to merely providing a pleasant spongy texture as their flavor is completely overshadowed by the coffee.

Perhaps the rich buttery essence of a mascarpone swirl would have resulted in a more balanced and authentic flavor than the coffee overload created by the mocha ribbon.

I like a bold coffee-flavored chocolate ice cream, and this certainly fits that bill; it just isn’t the iconic, layered taste experience you know and love in ice cream form. This rendition of tiramisu is as authentic to its Italian heritage as a Brooklyn plumber riding a dinosaur.

Baskin-Robbins says a 4 oz. scoop has 26 milligrams of caffeine.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: Large scoop (4 oz.)
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small Scoop) 260 calories, 13 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 24 grams of sugar, 1 gram of dietary fiber, and 5 grams of protein..

According to everyone’s favorite feline, this time of year is all about the candy, candy, candy, candy. Fortunately, instead of placating him with an unholy lasagna ice cream, Baskin-Robbins has brought us the Candy Bar Mashup as October’s Flavor of the Month. Chocolate ice cream is swirled with caramel and then stuffed with Snickers, Twix, and Milky way pieces. 

First things first, either let yours temper before eating or don your Rockbiter costume. The sample I tried of the returning and pun-awesomely named Trick Oreo Treat contained a Baby Ruth bite that was equivalent to chewing cement.

After letting it sit, my Candy Bar Mashup was the perfect consistency, no trip to the dentist necessary beyond the cavity it probably induced. If you have tried the aforementioned candy bars, then you know what to expect from this by and large. The chocolate ice cream is tried and true; and while good, the caramel swirl doesn’t bring anything new to the table as it’s a core component of the traditional bars.

Unfortunately, my scoop consisted primarily of Twix which crowded out its cohorts and left only a couple of small Snickers pieces and a hint of Milky Way for the other bites. The experience as a whole is chameleonesque, becoming a frozen version of whatever candy bit you happen to nosh. This makes the uneven ratios an even greater shame as despite Milky Way being my least favorite of the group as just a candy bar, I quite enjoyed it in this context.

Oddly, the ingredient list mentions Twix last of the three. One would expect it to be roughly equivalent to the other pieces at worst rather than reigning as the Jack Skellington of Candy Bar Mashup Town. All in all, this is more treat than trick, and I could see myself grabbing it again while I await the Great Pumpkin on Halloween night.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: Large scoop (4.0 oz.)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Single Scoop) 290 calories, 15 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 28 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.