Tag: Ice Cream

Confession time: I was once a fan of a jam band. It’s not the sort of thing one admits to easily, but I feel like we’ve built up a level of trust. For years I resisted efforts by friends to convert me to the jam band mentality. In college my roommates would eagerly put on Phish’s “Meatstick,” and I’d shake my head while leaving for class and still be rolling my eyes an hour later when I returned in time to hear the final notes. What was the appeal of long, rambling songs that were the musical equivalent of Grampa Simpson telling a story? But in late 2001, I got dragged along to see O.A.R. play at a local club, and I… just… connected. It was a perfect storm of the general contentment and malaise that sets in midway through senior year, meeting laid-back songs about drinking, hanging out with friends, and crazy games of poker.

And with that, I was hooked. I went to a half-dozen O.A.R. concerts, successfully converted friends and family, watched them on Letterman… and for a brief period of time, I longed to attend Bonnaroo. Never very seriously — I think even then I realized only liking one band was not a good basis for attending a three-day musical event. But still, it remains the one festival I’ve ever really given any serious thought to, and my ears perk up whenever I hear it mentioned. Enter: Ben and Jerry and their latest hippie offering. Not to get stereotyped as the ice cream guy, but today we’re looking at Bonnaroo Buzz, yet another Fair Trade-certified flavor from everyone’s favorite not-necessarily-gay duo from Vermont.

For starters, please don’t ask me to explain how the flavor has any connection with Bonnaroo whatsoever — it’s coffee and malt ice cream with whiskey caramel swirls and English toffee pieces mixed in. Seems like a more appropriate title might be “Flavo(u)rs of the British Isles,” or perhaps “Feck th’ English (Though Their Toffee’s Not Bad),” but I guess that would be a hard sell to your more conservative grocery stores. It still doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, though, because while I’m certain many of the attendees at any given Bonnaroo are indeed buzzed, I think that’s an entirely different buzz from the kind one gets from coffee. I like imagining Ben and Jerry trying to explain it to consumers: “Naw man, we wanted to put the good stuff in, but ‘the Man’ wouldn’t let us. It’s cool though, just talk to Steve, he’ll hook you up. In the meantime we just put in whiskey, and coffee, and toffee, ’cause that totally rhymes, man! Whoa… did you ever really look at the back of your hand?” Then it’s just twenty minutes of giggling.

Bonnaroo Buzz has the misfortune of having to follow up on me reviewing two good-to-very-good Ben & Jerry’s flavors, and unfortunately it doesn’t quite measure up. Coffee ice cream fans may want to bump that score up by a point or two, but it just doesn’t hit exactly the right balance, with not enough caramel flavor spread throughout. Or rather, the smoothness of the caramel is able to briefly balance out the coffee bitterness, but it fades quickly while the bitterness lingers, which is not ideal. The toffee tastes good, crunchy but not teeth-shatteringly hard, although there were two massive chunks that really needed to be broken up into smaller pieces; not sure if that’s standard or if I just got an “off” carton. Still, I can’t say that the toffee flavor ever blended seamlessly with the ice cream so much as being two decent but distinct tastes. And I don’t know about you, but when I see the word “whiskey” on any product, I expect to be drunk after I’ve consumed a quarter of it, so strike three, Bonnaroo Buzz.

In general terms there’s a limit to how “bad” Ben and Jerry’s ice cream can really be — you’d still take it if it was offered to you — but compared to many of its forebears and peers, Bonnaroo Buzz isn’t in the same class. For O.A.R. fans, it’s like when they start playing “Delicate Few”… you kind of look forward to it, but then when you hear it you remember it’s not really one of your favorites and it’s probably time for a pee break. But, hell — every song is someone’s favorite, so if coffee ice cream is your thing, give it a shot. The rest of us will be in line for the bathroom.

(Nutrition Facts — 1/2 cup — 280 calories, 130 calories from fat, 14 grams of total fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 25 grams of sugars, 4 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 0% vitamin C, 10% calcium, and 0% iron)

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Bonnaroo Buzz
Price: $4.79
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: “Hey Girl” live. Senior year malaise. Getting your British on. Smooth caramel. Solid but not adamantine toffee. Ice cream that could conceivably get you drunk.
Cons: “Meatstick.” Getting stereotyped as the ice cream reviewer. Names that don’t make sense. Lingering coffee bitterness. Toffee boulders. Ice cream that doesn’t actually get you drunk.

Ah, spring — that magical time of year when a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of ice cream.  And love, I guess, but my wife just gave birth a couple of months ago after a difficult pregnancy, so I’ve been strongly advised to just stick with the ice cream.  Fair enough.

As they’re wont to do, Ben & Jerry have put down their bong and unleashed some new flavors on us.  This time it’s with a valuable social message, encouraging everyone to volunteer in their communities, complete with a website link on the carton to find volunteering opportunities near you.  But not so fast, Walmart shoppers… these are Target exclusive.  Each carton even includes a “Together for Volunteerism” sticker with one of B&J’s cows (also known as “a cow”) posing next to the Target dog, which always looks to me like Spuds MacKenzie passed out and his friends drew a bullseye on his face.  (If you’re too young to know who Spuds MacKenzie is, I hate you.)  Said exclusivity wasn’t any problem for me, but if you live in a Footloose-esque rural community too small or remote to play host to a Tar-jay, you’re out of luck.  Please accept my sympathy, as I try to recall which of the three nearby Targets I bought these from.

Speaking of which, apparently by purchasing this ice cream I’m reaping the benefits of Fair Trade Certified cocoa and coffee.  I’m not at all politically minded and lack the time to watch The Daily Show anymore, so I’m not sure if that means I’m tacitly supporting equitable trade practices.  From what I know of Ben and Jerry, presumably it’s some hippie thing, but as long as I don’t have to give up meat or start wearing Birkenstocks, I’m fine with it.  Of course, the other thing Ben and Jerry are known for is inserting puns into their ice cream names, and these are no exception.  Volun-Tiramisu is almost a little TOO on the nose, but it works.  On the other hand, “Peanut Butter World” confuses me.  After some thought, I decided maybe the implication is that volunteerism will lead to a better world, and “butter” sounds kind of like “better,” so… yeah?  If that’s the case, I have to say they’re really reaching.  Of course, it’s possible all of you got it immediately and can’t imagine how it wasn’t obvious to me from the beginning.  Like how I didn’t realize those “Every kiss begins with Kay” commercials are making a pun about the actual letter “k” until I heard it on a radio show’s “things you just figured out” segment.  It’s embarrassing to find yourself in the same company as people who only just realized why it’s called a QWERTY keyboard.

I was slightly leery of the Peanut Butter World before digging in because peanut butter and I have an understanding: if it brings its friend chocolate, they’re both welcome in my mouth, but I’ve never been willing to buy seats for PB’s solo act.  Turns out I needn’t have worried, as this flavor is composed of really creamy, decadent chocolate with peanut butter swirls in it, along with some chocolate cookie bits.  It’s kind of like eating a cold, liquidy Reese’s peanut butter cup that someone has coated with crumbled Oreos, only way more rich than any Reese’s could ever be.  It is also insanely unhealthy — after a half dozen spoonfuls, I felt suddenly motivated to name my heirs and divvy up my worldly possessions — but that’s the price you pay for supporting a good cause.  At least that’s what I’m telling myself, and you should too.  In any event, it’s worth it, because this is some seriously good ice cream.  There’s just enough peanut butter to remind you it’s there without being overpowering, while the chocolate is definitely dominant.

If I was nervous about the Peanut Butter World, I had no idea what to expect from the Volun-Tiramisu.  Tiramisu is such a unique flavor, and I’ve never been the world’s biggest coffee drinker.  But like the peanut butter above, the coffee was noticeable but subdued, enough to make you aware of its presence without taking over.  And I wouldn’t have been able to spell “mascarpone” before buying this ice cream, let alone tell you what it tasted like, but it turns out it’s good, very light and lingering in contrast to the heaviness of the Peanut Butter World.  The carton also proclaims that it has a cocoa dusting, but I wasn’t able to detect any traces of it.  I also don’t think there’s any actual rum in it, although since I was drinking a beer at the same time, I can’t be sure of that.  However, while it was definitely good, a little went a long way.  I’d had my fill after a few spoonfuls, whereas if it weren’t for self-control and shame, I could have easily polished off a pint of Peanut Butter World in one sitting.  That might actually be a plus for Volun-Tiramisu in the sense of aiding your portion control, since while it’s not as bad for you as its partner, it’s not exactly making you thinner with every bite either.

All in all I was pleased with Ben & Jerry’s latest, exclusive offerings.  They’re both tasty, I’m pretty sure Target is slightly less evil than some of the other big box stores, and of course I’m all for encouraging volunteerism.  In a way, anyone who reads this review and decides to buy a pint is supporting volunteerism because of something I did, so hey — you’re welcome, B&J.  I’ll expect the check in the mail.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – Peanut Butter World – 330 calories, 22 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein. Volun-Tiramisu – 230 calories, 12 grams of total fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter World and Ben & Jerry’s Volun-Tiramisu reviews:
On Second Scoop – Volun-Tiramisu & Peanut Butter World

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter World and Ben & Jerry’s Volun-Tiramisu
Price: $3.49 each
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Peanut Butter World)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Volun-Tiramisu)
Pros: Saving the world, one fat ass at a time.  Mascot synergy.  Your peanut butter in my chocolate.  Mascarpone.  Heavy chocolate, light tiramisu.  Ice cream that portion controls itself.  Pimping volunteerism.
Cons: Inscrutable puns.  Carton makes me feel guilty for not volunteering lately.  Failing to comprehend simple ad campaigns.  Need to be doing strenuous volunteer work to burn off all the calories.  Possibly bankrolling Trump 2012.

Pot smokers, couch-dwelling sports fans, and menstruaters rejoice! Sweet and salty have been reduced to their lowest common denominators and magically recombined to form the freaky wonder that is Ben & Jerry’s Late Night Snack ice cream.

Hell, provided it’s available in your immediate area and you’re as curiosity-driven as I am, you’ve probably already tried the stuff. It has been a little while, and this ice cream is a smidge high profile, on account of the late night talk circuit involvement. I, for one, am willing to throw caution to the wind and try anything Stephen Colbert claims is tasty. I see this as one fun and easy way to fulfill my monthly patriotic acts quota. I’m now just one eagle cuddle away from being done for April!

Sorry to be late for 420 day, too, but I’m guessing most of the dedicated celebrants out there will understand. Any time can be munchies time. It’s all relative, and it’s all good.

I’ve been jogging my ass off to make up for all these ice cream reviews. Somehow Late Night Snack just feels more hip-widening than Ben & Jerry’s other offerings, even though it really isn’t any worse. Every pint they produce is already verging on a caloric supernova. If they tried adding any more, I’m pretty sure their products would explode, and then slowly begin absorbing everything else in the freezer aisle, from the neighboring Häagen-Dazs all the way to the Hungry Man entrees. Anyone brave enough to try a spoonful would instantly blow up like the Stay Puft marshmallow man. As is, it takes at least two pints of the stuff to attain that kind of comical weight gain. Not that I know.

Maybe, and I’m just throwing this hypothesis out there, the riotously calorie-rich issue at hand is the chocolate covered potato chip clusters. Similar to a rice crispy treat in texture, fresh deer poo in appearance, and a chocolate drenched kettle chip in flavor, they’re sprinkled liberally and fairly evenly throughout the ice cream like little treasure nuggets. I have a feeling South Park’s Chef would either highly approve of these salty balls or sue the company for stealing his lucrative vision.

The clusters are surrounded by a protective chocolatey armor roughly the texture and thickness of the outside of a Butterfinger bar, which sometimes manages to preserve a good crunch but more often than not fails, allowing the sogginess to creep in as the ice cream thaws. This is sad, because the crunchy clusters are far tastier than their squishier friends. I felt compelled to shovel the ice cream in faster and finish the pint in one sitting just to preserve the little balls of joy.

The base for this tour de force is vanilla ice cream, with a salty caramel swirl which I found to be kind of thin in places. I would happily eat these two elements on their own, but that flavor would probably be a store brand, gallon-size-only offering in this Xtreme day and age. If wanted to go that route, I might as well buy a Costco-sized drum of Neapolitan and softly lull my taste buds into an eternal frozen slumber. Ben & Jerry’s leads the pack, time and again, ratcheting the ice cream norm up about ten notches, I suspect through controlled exposure to sandalwood essence and the tunes of Iron and Wine, plus a pinch of good, old-fashioned stoner ingenuity. No spoon? No problem. You’ve got Fritos. They’re sturdy AND 100 percent more edible. BAM. A food revolution is born.

Initially, the flavor is a nice blend of chocolate, vanilla, and caramel with a salty edge. But the aftertaste? As long as you manage to scoop up a cluster or two, it’s pure potato chip. Somehow the two never clash or overlap. They just peacefully and deliciously co-exist. The world could learn a thing or two from this ice cream. Namely, that the key to harmony lies in coating everything in chocolate and then adding salt. Lots of salt. I apologize again to the lactose intolerant community. Attaining world peace is going to be a bit tougher for you guys.

The biggest problem arises when you stop eating this ice cream, because the sweet amalgam is no longer there to continuously balance out the potato chip essence, which lingers. Everything about this flavor practically begs for continual consumption. If you notice my giant pasty form lumbering through the streets of New York sometime soon, sporting a jaunty sailor’s cap and little else, well, you know who to call. What? Wait, no. The authorities. Call the authorities.

(Nutrition Facts – ½ cup – 270 calories, 140 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 21 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 10% calcium, 0% vitamin C, and 0% iron.)
Item: Ben & Jerry’s Late Night Snack
Price: $3.99
Size: 1 Pint
Purchased at: Albertson’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Salted caramel. Eagle cuddling. Fresh, unthawed chocolate covered potato chip clusters. Ice cream by the drum, in theory. Stoner ingenuity. Jaunty sailor caps. Ben & Jerry’s not skimping on the clusters. Frito-based revolutions.
Cons: Deer crap ice cream. Caloric black holes. Soggy potato chip balls. The lingering, persistent aftertaste of soggy potato chip balls. Ice cream by the drum, in practice. Becoming the Stay Puft mascot. Caramel swirl thins out in places. Lactose intolerant community unable to participate in my vision of world peace.

Update: Ben & Jerry’s changed Clusterfluff’s name to What A Cluster.

Almost every time I eat Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, I break down and cry with tears mixed with sadness and happiness. It’s been the case with two of Ben & Jerry’s latest flavors, Red Velvet Cake and Clusterfluff. It’s as if the dairy in their products have the ability to turn my tear ducts into lactating cow udders.

I remember the first time I ever tasted Ben & Jerry’s. It was their Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream. I couldn’t get enough of that creamy vanilla ice cream with those chunks of chocolate chip cookie dough. It was as if Ben and Jerry were consoling me and giving me a giant group hug from inside of me. Every spoonful I took made the hug tighter and I never wanted them to let go. I closed my eyes and just let Ben and Jerry hold me.

When I opened my eyes, half the pint was gone. It was at this exact moment that I started to weep because I knew Ben and Jerry couldn’t hug me forever. Although I wanted Ben and Jerry to give me a never-ending hugjob, I knew it wasn’t possible because if I continuously ate their ice cream, my body would blow up to the point where it would look like Ben and Jerry were actually in my body giving me a hug.

So that’s why Ben & Jerry’s ice cream makes me cry with mixed emotions; happiness because I’m eating damn tasty ice cream and sadness because I can’t get Ben and Jerry to give me a hugjob forever.

These latest Ben & Jerry’s flavors look good on paper and in the paper containers they come in. Red Velvet Cake is made up of red velvet cake batter ice cream with red velvet cake pieces and a cream cheese frosting swirl. While Clusterfluff has peanut butter ice cream with caramel cluster pieces, marshmallow swirls and peanut buttery swirls.

Red Velvet Cake had a lot of red velvet cake pieces mixed in, which was surprising because in previously reviewed Ben & Jerry’s flavors I complained about not having enough of the featured ingredient (See Hannah Teter’s Maple Blondie and Chocolate Macadamia). At a quick glance, the pink ice cream and red velvet cake pieces look like what would happen if Huckleberry Pie left hickeys all over Strawberry Shortcake’s skin during a romp in the strawberry field.

Yup! I just ruined the 1980s for some of you.

The red velvet cake pieces are slightly chewy, but damn, they make the ice cream tasty by amplifying the red velvet cake flavor of the ice cream base. However, I thought the combination of the red velvet cake-flavored ice cream, red velvet cake pieces, and cream cheese frosting swirl became a little too rich for my taste buds after a few spoonfuls. This made it difficult to plow through the ice cream like I usually do with other Ben & Jerry’s flavors. But overall, Ben & Jerry’s did a solid job with their Red Velvet Ice Cream.

Clusterfluff is based on the fluffernutter, a sandwich made with peanut butter and marshmallow fluff. But as I ate the ice cream, I thought it ought to be renamed Clusternut because, while I could see the marshmallow swirls, peanut butter was all I could taste. Also, I think it rhymes better with the word that influenced the flavor’s name: clusterfuck.

For some reason, the ample caramel cluster pieces enhanced the flavor of the peanut butter ice cream and provided a crunchy texture in the ice cream. If I ate this ice cream and didn’t know they were caramel clusters, I would definitely think they were peanuts. While it tastes more like a Clusternut than a Clusterfluff, I did think it was divine for a peanut butter-flavored ice cream and I could see myself accidentally eating through half a pint in one sitting.

Ben & Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake and Clusterfluff are both really good flavors, and I’d place them on my list of top 12 Ben & Jerry’s flavors. While both are creamy and delicious, they also make me feel like Ben and Jerry are giving me a hugjob.

And, for me, that’s all that really matters.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – Red Velvet Cake – 250 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein. Clusterfluff – 320 calories, 170 calories from fat, 19 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake and Clusterfluff
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Red Velvet Cake)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Clusterfluff)
Pros: Both make me feel like Ben and Jerry are giving me a hugjob. Clusterfluff has a divine peanut butter flavor and is easy to eat through. Lots of red velvet cake chunks mixed into the ice cream. Caramel clusters were plentiful. Hugjobs.
Cons: Red Velvet Cake might be too rich for some. Can’t taste the marshmallow swirl in Clusterfluff. Not being able to have Ben and Jerry give me a hugjob forever.