Tag: Jack in the Box

Jack in the Box’s menu board has seen a number of deep fried finger food on it. Oh, let me count the salty, greasy ways. Stuffed jalapeños, mozzarella cheese sticks, chicken nuggets, egg rolls, chicken strips, onion rings, corn dogs, and now we can add their new Pizza Bites.

Yes, Jack in the Box is now offering something you might find being served as an appetizer at the birthday party of an 8-year-old. And, yes, it does seems like the fast food chain is heavily influenced by the finger food section in the frozen food aisle, and I look forward to Jack in the Box’s version of taquitos and Smucker’s Uncrustables.

Jack in the Box’s Pizza Bites are stuffed with the following stalwarts of pizza: pepperoni, mozzarella cheese, oven-dried tomatoes, garlic, and herbs. The exterior is called “pizza dough” on the fast food chain’s website, but it looks like the coating found on other deep fried finger foods. They come in either three or six pieces and are accompanied with a container (or containers if your get the six-piece offering) of Jack’s Buttermilk House Sauce. According to the press release, they were supposed to come with marinara sauce, but I didn’t receive any.

Their almost equilateral triangular-shape makes them easy to dip and, if you don’t have piece of paper around because you’re trying to live a “paperless” lifestyle, a decent replacement for a paper football. It will also make a game of paper football much more interesting if the loser has to eat the football, which will have landed on the ground enough times to collect hair, dirt, and possibly disease.

The first time I tried the Pizza Bites they looked a little burnt, as if they were toasted over a campfire, but the innards were perfectly gooey. I decided to give them another try from another location and got pieces that were as golden brown as the skin of a 20-something sunbather. However, while they looked good, the innards appeared dried up like the skin of 60-year-old lifelong sunbather.

During both tastings, I found the breaded dough to be thick and slightly chewy with a strong crunch. I also thought the exterior did a wonderful job of muting the flavors of the cheese, pepperoni chunks, and oven-dried tomatoes. It’s a little strange there wasn’t some kind of sauce within the confines of the Pizza Bites, which could’ve made a difference. Heck, the marinara sauce probably would’ve helped. Since the Pizza Bites weren’t bursting with pizza flavor, but bursting with crust flavor, I was glad it came with the supplied Buttermilk House Sauce.

To be honest, even if I got perfectly prepared Jack in the Box Pizza Bites, I’d bet they’d have an unsatisfying pizza flavor that would make me yearn for a regular pizza…or crash an 8-year-old’s birthday party to get some appetizers.

(Nutrition Facts – 6 pieces – 500 calories, 189 calories from fat, 21 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 43 milligrams of cholesterol, 1969 milligrams of sodium, 413 milligrams of potassium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 22 grams of protein.)

Other Jack in the Box Pizza Bites reviews:
Brand Eating
The Food Chain Review

Item: Jack in the Box Pizza Bites
Purchased Price: $3.89
Size: 6 pieces
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: More deep fried finger food at Jack in the Box. Crunchy crust. Makes a good ball replacement for paper football. Lots of cheese. Buttermilk House Sauce makes them decent, but it really should taste like pizza.
Cons: Breaded crust mutes other flavors. Cooking inconsistencies. No sauce inside the Pizza Bites. Deep fried finger food at Jack in the Box seems tame compared with deep fried finger food at county fairs. Do not eat the six piece one by yourself; share it with someone. Losing paper football and eating the Pizza Bites that’s fallen to the ground too many times.

If fast food is about convenience, then why is it that I have to add my own blueberries and crumble topping to Jack in the Box’s Blueberry Muffin Oatmeal?

When I peel back the lid of a McDonald’s Fruit and Maple Oatmeal, everything is swimming together — the apples, raisins, and oatmeal. The only thing I have to shove into the bowl is a spoon. But with Jack in the Box’s Blueberry Muffin Oatmeal it’s like here’s the church and here’s the steeple, open the doors, and see all the people still outside even though it’s 9:05 and service started at 9:00.

Yes, tearing open two packets and dumping their contents into a cup of hot oats is unbelievably simple, but if it’s so unbelievably simple, then why can’t the employees at Jack in the Box do it for me?

Having to combine the ingredients to make Jack in the Box’s Blueberry Muffin Oatmeal bothers me so much that as I tore open the packets and dumped their contents into the bowl with the hot oats I said horrible things about the size of Jack’s head. But when I started stirring everything and the wonderful aroma of blueberry muffins began swirling around my head, I quickly forgot about whatever was bothering me.

But then I took a long hard look at the oatmeal below me and got a little bothered again.

Next to a McDonald’s Fruit and Maple Oatmeal, everything about the Jack in the Box Blueberry Muffin Oatmeal looks small. The McDonald’s offering has nice chunks of fresh-ish apples, plump raisins, and decent-sized oats. But the Blueberry Muffin Oatmeal doesn’t have fresh-ish blueberries or even plump dried blueberries, instead there are small dried blueberries, small dried Zante currants, and tiny oats. Even the serving size looks smaller.

However, what the oatmeal lacks in size, it makes up for in flavor and after the first bite I forgot what was bothering me.

The oatmeal does taste like a blueberry muffin and I can only assume they were able to accomplish that by using fast food black magic. There’s easily enough dried blueberries and crumble topping to make sure your taste buds never come close to experiencing the blandness of unflavored oatmeal as you make your way through the container. My oatmeal had a thick consistency, but that’s only after I let it sit for about 10 minutes while taking pictures. The crumble topping doesn’t provide any crunch and the dried blueberries are only slightly chewy. But who cares because this oatmeal is kind of awesome.

Overall, it’s nice to see Jack in the Box’s Blueberry Muffin Oatmeal as a breakfast option among the sea of pork and egg breakfast sandwiches. There are times when I want to eat those greasy breakfast sandwiches, but when I don’t, I’m glad there’s something healthier I can choose.

(Nutrition Facts – 249 calories, 36 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 134 milligrams of sodium, 149 milligrams of potassium, 49 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.)

Other Jack in the Box Blueberry Muffin Oatmeal reviews:
Brand Eating
Man Reviews Food

Item: Jack in the Box Blueberry Muffin Oatmeal
Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Smells and tastes like a blueberry muffin. Lots of dried blueberries and crumble topping. Available all day. Healthier than a Jack in the Box breakfast sandwich. Decent source of dietary fiber.
Cons: Have to add dried blueberries and crumble topping myself. Serving size looks small. Dried blueberries were small. Oats were small.

If you look at Jack in the Box’s Hot Cinnamon Shake, it’s hard not to think to yourself, “Damn! It looks like someone went crazy with a bottle of Red 40 food dye!”

Or “Damn! Is Jack in the Box promoting a new Hellboy movie?”

Or “OMG! It like totally matches my Afternoon Delight Red nail polish! Who said the Hot Cinnamon Shake can wear my color? Ugh, now I have to find a new nail polish. Why is the Hot Cinnamon Shake being such a bitch?”

Jack in the Box’s Hot Cinnamon Shake is one-third of the Hot Mess menu items just released, which also includes the Hot Mess Burger and Hot Mess Wedges.

Yes, you can get them as a combo and, for those of you counting at home, if you purchase a Hot Mess combo you will have in front of you 2,297 calories, 143 grams of fat, 60 grams of saturated fat, 4 grams of trans fat, and 2,515 milligrams of sodium. Enjoy.

If you’re familiar with Hot Tamales, the spicy cinnamon candy, or Big Red, the cinnamon gum, then you’ll also be familiar with the flavor of this heavy Red 40 dye infused shake. With each suck of the straw, the Hot Cinnamon Shake played good cop/bad cop with my tongue. It starts off being Olivia Benson-sweet, making you think you’re eating Cinnabon. Then…BAM…the shake hits you with Elliot Stabler-fire.

I’m sorry. I’ve been watching A LOT of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit on Netflix Instant Streaming.

Okay, to be honest, the heat is not as intense as Elliot Stabler or Hot Tamales, but it’s like Big Red gum, which to me is a bit mild. The heat did linger in my mouth for several minutes after finishing the shake, which made me wonder if it worked like Big Red gum and made my breath smell like cinnamon. Unfortunately, I had no one nearby to check.

The Jack in the Box Hot Cinnamon Shake’s color may make it look evil, but I assure you it’s a delightful treat if you’re a fan of spicy cinnamon stuff.

(Nutrition Facts – 16 ounces – 788 calories, 360 calories from fat, 40 grams of fat, 28 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 127 milligrams of cholesterol, 271 milligrams of sodium, 689 milligrams of potassium, 92 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 78 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.)

Other Jack in the Box Hot Cinnamon Shake reviews:
Man Reviews Food
Brand Eating

Item: Jack in the Box Hot Cinnamon Shake
Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: 16 ounces
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Delightful treat if you’re a Big Red fan. Sweet cinnamon start makes it taste like Cinnabon. Spiciness is similar to Big Red gum. Netflix Instant Streaming.
Cons: Dark red color makes it look evil. Awesome source of trans fat. Like, totally stealing my color. Consuming a Hot Mess combo. A significant other wanting to make love after watching an episode of Law & Order: SVU.

Jack in the Box’s Hot Mess Burger is possibly the messiest fast food burger my hands and mouth have ever wrapped themselves around, so I guess Hot Mess is an appropriate name.

How messy was it?

Six napkins and a pair of shorts soaking in water messy. Unfortunately, the bag I brought it home in only had four napkins so my burger entrails covered hands had to scramble for more disposable cloths.

What makes this burger so messy?

It’s not the seasoned beef patty, deep fried onion rings, or sliced jalapeños. What was to blame for my excessive use of paper products was the greasy, toasted sourdough bread and the melted white cheddar and pepper jack cheeses.

To be more accurate, 90 percent of the mess was from the cheeses. The white cheddar and pepper jack didn’t appear to be slices placed on the burger. Instead they were more like a cheese sauce because as they sat on my burger they didn’t harden much and it oozed all over the place. It’s as if the person who made my sandwich thought it was a smothered chicken-fried steak or wanted my sandwich to look like it was throwing up cheese after I opened its wrapper.

But the cheeses weren’t there for just looks, they, surprisingly, provided a lot of flavor. In fact, I’ve never experienced a cheesy flavor level like this with a burger before. I’m not surprised Jack in the Box used white cheddar because it appears to be the new black. Burger King and McDonald’s have used the pale cheese in some of their recent burgers. As for the pepper jack, it’s hard to notice any flavor from the peppers in it because of the jalapeño.

Speaking of the jalapeño, if you love canned jalapeño peppers, then you’ll love how this burger tastes. When I peeled back the sourdough bun, it looked as if S.S. Jalapeño sank in the White Cheese Sea. There were so many peppers that, on the drive home from the restaurant, the bag that contained my Hot Mess Burger became a chili pepper air freshener, filling my car with the aroma of jalapeño. Every bite I took from this sandwich had at least a slice and they gave this burger a nice spicy kick and a lot of flavor.

The beef patty was tasty, but dry (which is par for the course). The onion rings, while a nice addition, were noticeable in only a few bites, but I’m fine with the Hot Mess Burger being mostly a cheese and jalapeño show.

Even though the Jack in the Box Hot Mess Burger was extremely messy and is quite unhealthy (which is expected), it’s so good that I think they should call it the Hot Mmmmess Burger.

(Nutrition Facts – 846 calories, 528 calories from fat, 59 grams of fat, 20 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 108 milligrams of cholesterol, 1201 milligrams of sodium, 388 milligrams of potassium, 49 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 34 grams of protein.)

Other Hot Mess Burger reviews:
Junk Food Betty
Man Reviews Food

Item: Jack in the Box Hot Mess Burger
Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: A very fine Jack in the Box burger. Strong cheesy flavor. Lots of jalapeño slices. Has a fondue fountain’s worth of cheese. Toasted bun. Jalapeño bring lots of flavor and a bit of heat.
Cons: Very messy. Onion rings didn’t add a lot of flavor. Dry beef patty. Having my computer’s autocorrect automatically change every “jalapeno” to “jalapeño.” Has two grams of trans fat.

Some folks like their brownies with a texture that’s similar to cake, while others like them dense and chewy. I’m in the latter crowd.

I say if you I want a brownie that’s a bit more spongy, go crash a child’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese’s and get yourself a slice of chocolate cake.

If you’re like me and enjoy chewy brownies, then Jack in the Box’s new Brownie Bites aren’t for you. Actually, if you’re a fan of any kind of brownies, then Jack in the Box’s Brownie Bites aren’t for you. Well, unless you’re a fan of dry happiness-draining brownies.

The only time brownies have ever wiped the smile on my face was when I forgot to add eggs to the brownie mix and I ended up with brownies that resembled, and were as hard as, what we call here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, pahoehoe lava.

Geology lesson bonus!

I didn’t expect Jack in the Box’s new Brownie Bites to be elegant made-from-scratch brownies from a reality show dessert chef trying to please three judges in order to not be eliminated, but I presumed they would be almost as good as brownies made using a Betty Crocker mix by an eighth grader in a home economics class.

Unfortunately, the Jack in the Box Brownie Bites didn’t meet my low expectations.

Again, they weren’t chewy, but that could’ve easily been forgiven if they had a nice chocolate flavor. However, as I chewed through each of the five pieces, I could feel the disappointment my taste buds were experiencing from the dessert’s unsatisfying chocolate flavor.

And after I was done with this dainty snack, all I could think about was how I wished it had chocolate chips baked in them or it came with a chocolate dipping sauce, both of which would’ve enhanced the flavor.

But all is not bad with Jack in the Box’s Brownie Bites. They’re served warm so if you buy two Brownie Bites servings, each of which contains five pieces, you can stick one on every fingertip to keep them temporarily warm during these cold months. Also, they’re cheap enough that you can probably purchase it with the loose change you find under your car’s seat.

But if you do that, please look for the money before you go to the drive-thru.

Overall, I’m pretty sure I won’t be ordering Jack in the Box’s Brownie Bites again. With desserts, it should make you think, “Oh, what a wonderful way to end a meal!” or “That was so worth the calories!” But these brownie bites didn’t do either.

(Nutrition Facts – 288 calories, 115 calories from fat, 13 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 44 milligrams of cholesterol, 159 milligrams of sodium, 225 milligrams of potassium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 30 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Brownie Bites
Purchased Price: $1.19
Size: 5 bites
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Warm. Inexpensive. Bite-sized. Crashing birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese’s. Finding money under your car seat. Droppin’ geology knowledge on y’all.
Cons: Edible, but not delightful. Dry. Unsatisfying chocolate flavor. Had a more cake-like texture than chewy. Not a good way to end a meal.