Tag: Jack in the Box

Indecisive people must HATE Jack in the Box.

If I was indecisive, I’d take one look at the vast menu board, feel completely helpless, and then weep. And if the cashier told me I could also choose something from the breakfast menu at two in the afternoon, I would fall to my knees, put my hands on top of my head while it shakes side to side, and then yell, “There’s so much to choose from, I don’t know what I want! Please help me!”

By the time I stopped yelling, Jack in the Box probably would’ve added something new to the menu since it expands faster than the waistlines of those of us who eat Jack in the Box food. Seriously, Jack in the Box is the Cheesecake Factory of fast food chains. Did you know they have funnel cake?

Anyhoo, Jack’s latest addition to the menu board that makes the indecisive pull their hair out is the Bourbon BBQ Steak Grilled Sandwich, which is made up of steak strips, grilled onions, cheese and Jack’s new Bourbon BBQ sauce in between two slices of grilled artisan bread.

Of course, my first thought when I heard about the Bourbon BBQ sauce was whether or not it contained alcohol. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t, but my extremely low tolerance for alcohol, plus my urge to take off pieces of clothing when alcohol is in my system would be an accurate way to find out.

After eating the entire sandwich, no article of clothing was removed, so it seems there’s no alcohol in the BBQ sauce. Although my taste buds could’ve told me that, since the BBQ sauce tasted like any run of the mill sauce. This was disappointing because I hoped it would taste more like licking a drunk than licking a designated driver.

As for the rest of the sandwich, the steak strips were surprisingly tender and there were a lot of them. The grilled onions were a nice touch and complimented the steak well. The cheese seemed to be there to only to act as a glue to make sure the steak strips and onions don’t fall out of the sandwich. The artisan bread wasn’t crispy, it was a little soggy with chewy edges. But at least it wasn’t as greasy as Jack’s other Grilled Sandwiches.

So if you’re an indecisive person staring at the Jack in the Box menu board, I want to let you know that the Jack in the Box Bourbon BBQ Steak Grilled Sandwich was a good sandwich, but I expected more from the featured ingredient, the Bourbon BBQ sauce.

You know what? After rereading that last sentence, I realized it probably won’t help you come to a decision. I’m sorry. You should start weeping now.

(Nutrition Facts – 595 calories, 206 calories from fat, 23 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 2022 milligrams of sodium, 495 milligrams of potassium, 62 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 33 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Bourbon BBQ Steak Grilled Sandwich
Price: $6.49 (small combo)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good, but could’ve been better. Steak strips were tender. Cheese keeps steak strips from falling out. Grilled onion complimented the steak. Bread wasn’t greasy.
Cons: Bourbon BBQ sauce was disappointing. Artisan bread wasn’t crispy. Cheese brings nothing to the table, flavor-wise. An indecisive person staring at a Jack in the Box menu board. The nudity that follows when alcohol is in my system.

I don’t enjoy Jack in the Box’s fries, because I find them to be sticks of golden brown boredom. My palate thinks they’re not salty enough, not potato-ey enough and they somehow make me cry, like I’m watching Toy Story 3.

When I do end up at the box Jack built, I always order the curly fries instead. But sometimes they mess up my order and I end up with their regular fries. When this happens I get extremely angry, and, I swear, when it happens again I’m going to buy a gigantic white plastic sphere; cut a hole in it; draw a mouth and angry eyes on it; glue on a pointy nose; put it over my head; walk into the Jack in the Box that messed up my order; ask for the manager; then demand they switch my regular fries for curly fries; and, if they don’t, I’m going to threaten to fire all of them.

Because I dislike Jack in the Box’s regular french fries, I wondered if they would be tolerable in the forms of Jack’s new Cheesy Fries and Chorizo Cheese Fries.

Both fry varieties consist of a small serving of Jack’s regular fries, which are topped with either a cheese sauce or a cheese sauce with crumbled chorizo sausage. Personally, I wish Jack in the Box called them “potato nachos,” but according to Urban Dictionary, the term has already been used in a different, and surprisingly, non-sexual way.

The Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries look like what I imagine my arteries would look like if I were able to turn them inside out after eating the Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries, while the Chorizo Cheese Fries look like a Frankenfood made by a drunk guy at one in the morning that combines the seasoned ground beef and cheese sauce from Taco Bell with Jack in the Box’s crappy regular fries.

The cheese sauce that’s dumped on top of the Cheesy Fries tastes like cheddar, and it surprisingly makes Jack’s fries a little more than tolerable. Although, I wish they were drowning in cheese sauce or at least waterboarded a few times with cheese sauce, because I believe Jack’s fries need to experience a cheesy death or, if waterboarded, near death.

But if you’re planning to experience either of these new fries, I’d suggest coughing up the extra scratch to pick up the Chorizo Cheese Fries. The slightly spicy flavor of the chorizo sausage is what makes these fries stand out. It’s like eating chili cheese fries, except greasier, however, with the same level of guilt. Just like with the Cheesy Fries, I wish there was a bit more cheese sauce, since the cheese flavor was a bit lacking, although not an amount that drowns or waterboards.

Since the Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries and Chorizo Cheese Fries are extremely messy if eaten the same way one eats regular fries, Jack conveniently provides forks. If they don’t provide utensils, might I suggest buying a gigantic white plastic sphere; cutting a hole in it; drawing a mouth and angry eyes on it; glueing on a pointy nose; putting it over your head; then walk into the Jack in the Box that didn’t give you forks; ask for the manager; demand they give you forks; and, if they don’t, threaten to fire all of them.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Cheesy Fries – 504 calories, 262 calories from fat, 29 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 23 milligrams of cholesterol, 1145 milligrams of sodium, 511 milligrams of potassium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar and 11 grams of protein.)

Other Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries and Chorizo Cheese Fries reviews:
An Immovable Feast
Junk Food Betty

Item: Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries and Chorizo Cheese Fries
Price: $1.99 (Cheesy Fries)
Price: $2.69 (Chorizo Cheese Fries)
Size: ???
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Cheesy Fries)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Chorizo Cheese Fries)
Pros: Both make Jack’s fries more than tolerable. Both need more cheese sauce. Chorizo Cheese Fries are really good. Spiciness of the chorizo sausage. Pretending to be Jack Box. Toy Story 3.
Cons: Jack in the Box fries. Chorizo makes Chorizo Cheese Fries a little too greasy. Jack in the Box messing up my order. Jack in the Box forgetting to give you utensils. Constructing a Jack Box head.

The Jack in the Box Really Big Chicken Sandwich isn’t really big.

Heck, I don’t think it can be even considered just “big” by today’s fast food standards, which have been set by burgers like BK’s Steakhouse XT and whatever monstrosities Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s come up with. To me, even the Big Mac shouldn’t be regarded as “big” when compared with the latest fast food burgers.

The sandwich has two chicken patties, but even with them it looks small. But if the Really Big Chicken Sandwich can be considered big, then there are certain men out there who should have no reason to buy a 450-horsepower sports car to make up for particular inadequacies in their nether regions.

The size of this Jack in the Box chicken sandwich disappoints me not only because I feel it’s false advertising, but also because if there’s a fast food company that should understand what “really big” is it’s Jack in the Box, whose fake CEO has a head so comically large that I’m surprised people who come near him don’t get caught in his gravitational field and orbit around his head.

Jack in the Box’s Really Big Chicken Sandwich is made up of two crispy chicken patties with two slices of Swiss-style cheese, lettuce, tomato, bacon, and mayo-onion sauce in between a bun. The sandwich kind of looks like the reproductive result of what would happen if a KFC Double Down and a McDonald’s Big Mac got all hot and oily with each other.

While I don’t think it’s really big, I do think it’s a mighty tasty sandwich, mainly due to the mayo-onion sauce and an ingredient that seems to make almost everything better. No, not the tears of a child whose ice cream has fallen off of its cone and onto the ground; I’m talking about bacon.

The strips of pig may not be visible in the pictures above and they may not be crispy, which is almost always the case with fast food bacon, but they do add a pleasant smokiness to the sandwich. The chicken patties were crispy and flavorful; the cheese was hardly noticeable; the lettuce and tomato allowed me to say I ate a serving of vegetables; and the bun was surprisingly durable and not bad tasting.

A Jack in the Box Really Big Chicken Sandwich small combo will run you $3.99, even in Hawaii, which is a reasonable price for what you get. But it would be an even better deal if the Really Big Chicken Sandwich was actually really big.

Wait a second…If the Really Big Chicken Sandwich isn’t really big, then shouldn’t we also be wondering if it’s really a chicken sandwich?

(Nutrition Facts – 1 sandwich – 748 calories, 44 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat* (*contains less than 0.5 grams of trans fat due to the use of partially hydrogenated oils), 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 1834 milligrams of sodium, 471 milligrams of potassium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar and 30 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Really Big Chicken Sandwich
Price: $3.99 (small combo)
Size: Small Combo
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty sandwich. Bacon gives it a smokiness. Affordable combo price. Awesome source of protein and potassium. Mayo-onion sauce is tasty. Eating vegetables. Durable bun. Tears of a child whose ice cream has fallen onto the ground.
Cons: Not a really big chicken sandwich. Awesome source of sodium and fat. Cheese was hardly noticeable. Looks like what would happen if a KFC Double Down and a McDonald’s Big Mac hooked up.

French fries are undoubtedly the most popular side order at any burger chain in America. I say that having done absolutely zero research, but I’m confident that it’s true. It also seems to be true that everyone has a different opinion about fries, and they love to express these opinions and, ultimately, start arguments about them. French fry arguments are like music preference arguments: nobody’s going to win, but somebody’s going to get a black eye. Okay, maybe not that drastic. But somebody’s getting banned from the ilovefrenchfries.com message board, is all I’m saying.

(PS – ilovefrenchfries.com is not a real website, so put your trolling equipment away.)

I must be bizarre, because I usually don’t order french fries. I don’t hate them, I just don’t really care for them either way. I’m comfortable having a monogamous relationship with my hamburger. Adding fries would just make the burger jealous and cause all sorts of problems. My burger and I are perfectly happy together. We don’t need any french fries coming in to “spice up the relationship.”

This could be either good or bad, in regards to this review, because today I’m taking a look at Jack in the Box’s new and supposedly improved french fries. Unfortunately, I can’t for the life of me remember what their old fries tasted like. Fortunately, that gives me a fresh palate I can then use to rain my judgment down upon these fries.

According to Tammy Bailey, division vice president of menu marketing and promotions for Jack in the Box Inc. and someone who probably has to use a very small font on her business card, “We’ve received a lot of feedback from consumers on what they like most about French fries, with flavor, texture and crispness at the top of the list. So we created our new French fries with a crispier outside texture that enhances the potato flavor and helps them retain their temperature.”

Well, Tammy, I’m afraid I’m going to have to disagree with you on some of those points. My fries were lukewarm at best, so either this magical outside texture is not working or my order had been sitting out for a while. They did have more flavor than other fries I’ve had, which did conjure some vague memories of the old Jack in the Box fries I’ve had. It’s a flavor similar to Burger King’s fries, from when they changed their recipe however many years ago. Instead of just having the flavor of grease, there’s a taste kind of like batter that makes them less bland than most other fast food fries. While the flavor was pretty good, I thought they could have used a little more salt.

The crispness is an interesting topic. Jack in the Box claims that their feedback from customers states that crispness is an important factor. Well, I got a little feedback of my own, from about a half dozen of my friends. I asked them what their favorite fast food fry was, and why. I was surprised at the results – every single one of them said they liked McDonald’s fries, because they’re limp, greasy and overly salty.

Take that with a grain of salt, har har, since these are my friends, and anyone who associates with someone who deliberately attempts to find and consume the most disgusting junk food she can find is probably of questionable taste and character to begin with. That said, the Jack in the Box fried potato sticks do live up to their claim of crispness. While I did get a few of those small, crunchy, hard fries, there wasn’t a limp stick in the bunch. Insert “limp stick” joke here.

Jack in the Box mostly succeeds in what they set out to do. While my fries were lukewarm, raising questions about how well the outer texture actually insulates the pommes frites, and I found them to be lacking in salt, they are indeed perfectly crispy and more flavorful than the average fry. The question is, is this what the people want? Well, I guess that all comes back around to the ageless polarization of people’s opinions on french fries. Some like ’em crispy, some like ’em greasy, some like ’em salty, some like ’em limp. And as long as people have assholes – er, wait, I mean, opinions, there’s going to be someone out there who likes Jack in the Box’s new, crispier fries, and someone who wants to punch that person in the face.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 small order – 333 calories, 138 calories from fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 15 grams of total fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 milligram of cholesterol, 607 milligrams of sodium, 432 milligrams of potassium, 45 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugars and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box French Fries (2010)
Price: $1.79
Size: 1 small order
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Delivers the promise of crispiness. Monogamous burger relationships. More flavorful than most fries. People getting overly agitated about flavor preferences. PR mostly living up to its own hype. Limp sticks?
Cons: Not enough salt. Getting a black eye over french fries. Magical texture jacket not keeping my fries warm. Limp sticks?

The Jack in the Box Grilled…Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

W-w-what…

Oh, I’m sorry I fell asleep and started sleep drooling mid-sentence. But I couldn’t help it because the Jack in the Box Grilled Chicken Salad is one boring salad.

It’s so snooze-inducing that if you have an infant who has trouble falling asleep, I recommend you click the photo above to go The Impulsive Buy’s Flickr page, download the high quality version of the photo, print it out several copies of it on your inkjet printer (or nearest photo center), then attach those photos to the mobile hanging above your child’s crib and then watch your child instantly enter a deep slumber, allowing you to find out what that Chatroulette is all about.

The salad contains a list of vegetables that bores me, but would give the Easter Bunny a hard-on. It has a blend of romaine, iceberg and spring mix lettuce, along with shredded cheddar cheese, grape tomatoes, cucumber slices, red onion and shredded carrots. Seasoned croutons and low-fat balsamic dressing are served on the side, and the salad is topped with strips of grilled chicken. As you can see in the boring salad photo above, it’s a rainbow coalition of ingredients, if the rainbow contains mostly orange and green.

As with most fast food salads, the Jack in the Box Grilled Chicken Salad contained mostly the nutritious-empty and flavorless iceberg lettuce. But thankfully, all of the vegetables looked fresh — no wilting or bruises. The only vegetable I disliked more than the iceberg lettuce was the red onion because of its strong flavor that dominated the rest of the salad like it was paid $500 an hour to make the salad its bitch via gagging and restraining it in chains.

The grilled chicken seemed like it was just there for protein and sodium because it didn’t provide much of anything else. As for the low-fat balsamic vinaigrette dressing, it gave the salad enough flavor so that it can legally be called a salad, and not just something to cushion my head if it were to fall into the salad because it’s so sleep-inducing.

Despite being a boring salad, I’d probably hit the Jack in the Box Grilled Chicken Salad again. Its nutritional values don’t make me feel guilty, unlike most of Jack in the Box’s menu and paying some woman $500 an hour to gag me, chain me to a wall and call me a filthy pig who should be punished.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 salad with low-fat balsamic vinaigrette – 275 calories, 9.5 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 1130 milligrams of sodium, 965 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar and 28 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Grilled Chicken Salad
Price: $5.99
Size: 1 salad
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Filling salad. One of the healthier items to eat from the JITB menu. Low calorie compared with other JITB salads. Great if you like the colors green and orange. Paying $500 an hour to be some woman’s submissive slave.
Cons: Boring salad. High in sodium. Too much iceberg lettuce. Dominating flavor of the red onions. Paying $500 an hour to be some woman’s submissive slave. Chatroulette. Pictures of it may help babies fall asleep faster.