QUICK REVIEW: Kellogg’s To Go Vanilla Breakfast Shake Mix

Kellogg's To Go Vanilla Breakfast Shake Mix

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: 6 mix packets
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent artificial vanilla flavor. Slightly creamy consistency. Quick and easy to prepare. With all its vitamins and minerals, it’s like a liquid multivitamin. About the same amount of fiber as a large apple. Good source of protein. Makes skim milk taste better.
Cons: Has an oaty aftertaste. Vanilla isn’t listed in the ingredients. Large mix packet looks like it’s meant for 16 ounces, but instructions say only 8 ounces of milk. You may get hungry soon after drinking this because it’s not very filling. Kind of makes me yearn for a real breakfast with solid food.

Kellogg's To Go Vanilla Breakfast Shake Mix Closeup

Nutrition Facts: (just the mix) 130 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 270 milligrams of potassium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, and lots of vitamins and minerals.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Omega-3 from Flaxseed Cereal

Kellogg's Raisin Bran Omega-3 from Flaxseed Cereal

Every time I buy a box of Raisin Bran, I hesitate. “This is the second box of Raisin Bran I’ve bought this month. Where has my childlike whimsy gone? Have I gotten stuck in a routine? Stopped being spontaneous? Stopped growing? Stopped living? What is life?! What is a cereal?! How could I drift so far from them both?!?!”

Maybe it’s the shriveled raisins or the absence of a frosted coating, but I encounter this existential crisis every time, trembling to reach for the box as I come to grips with my mortality right there in Aisle 8.

But then I look at the purple box. I think of the whole grain, the slight honey sweetness of the flakes, the two scoops of raisins, and that happy-dappy little Sun-Man. How can I resist?

Obviously, I can’t. And I snagged a box of this new Raisin Bran with Omega-3 from Flaxseeds.

If you haven’t yet acquainted yourself, Omega-3s are high-octane fats that, according to oodles of researchers, Dr. Oz and my fishmonger, can do potentially great things like keep your heart in check, lower your cholesterol, and permit your brain and muscles to tick along, thus allowing you to pursue that dream you’ve always had to be an Olympian ice skater. Dare I say, Omega-3s are Magic Fats, and while flaxseeds may not be the most aesthetically beautiful seed out there, they hold plenty of Magic Fats, and what happens when you eat a Magic Fat? Well, let’s find out…

Kellogg's Raisin Bran Omega-3 from Flaxseed Cereal Spoonful

I poured a bowl and prodded a tentative spoon into the swamp of the dark brown whole grain. Would the flax give me an electric shock? Or make my body reel, cartoon-style, mutating me into an anthropomorphic animal bent on fighting for justice? I foresaw myself transforming into a crime-fighting llama. Or at least a My Little Pony.

Kellogg's Raisin Bran Omega-3 from Flaxseed Cereal Fats

Unfortunately, neither occurred. However, what did occur was pleasant enough to make me go back in for another spoonful. See those speckles above? Those are magical speckles of flax. While the flax itself doesn’t add much flavor, it does add a nice seedy texture, and, if I close my eyes, I can hear my cholesterol lowering with each flax-filled bite.

The old adage of, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” could be no truer than with Raisin Bran. It’s brown, shriveled, and, if you hold it at the right light, you may mistake it for mulch, but beneath all that roughage fringe, a layered flavor experience awaits. The flakes have a grainy, slightly nutty, almost rye-like wheatiness, a depth which is balanced well by a hint of honey sweetness. They’re more crispity than crunchity, mainly as a consequence of the slimmer flake profile.

With milk, the sweetness of the wheat, bran, and honey shine and the raisins plump up a smidge. While these flakes easily fall prey to the “Mushy glop of bran in milk” effect, they are well suited for a morning dry snack, especially with the chewy sweet of the red raisins involved in each handful.

And there are plenty of those little shriveled grapes. Each box holds the promise of “Two Scoops,” of raisins. While I can’t state for certain Kelloggs’ scoop size, I imagine it to be the size of at least five ice shovels, if not Muck the Bulldozer’s scooper. No matter the dimensions, the 1-3 raisins in every bite reinforces that the Sun Man is certainly delivering on his Two Scoops promise.

Kellogg's Raisin Bran Omega-3 from Flaxseed Cereal Sun Man

These new flakes reinforce one of the beauties of Raisin Bran: it’s a cereal not afraid to be itself. It doesn’t pretend to be a raisin-y Lucky Charms or bran-infused Cocoa Puffs. Nay, Kellogg’s Raisin Bran lets its grainy, bran-y Freak Flag fly, and the addition of flaxseeds, while not necessarily a milestone in cereal-making history, highlights that identity. It may not be revolutionary, but most of the time, I don’t need a revolution to be happy. I just need to plop my Cereal Lovin’ patootie into my sofa, watched some cartoons, and enjoy a bowl of crunchy goodness, and that’s what I did here.

If I get nit-picky, I’d say I could’ve used some more sweetness, maybe a little more crunch (Maybe some cinnamon almonds? Or peanut butter granola?), but if you’re in the mood for a quality Raisin Bran with some flaxseed mischief, you’ll love this.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Cup – 180 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 140 milligrams of potassium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 5 gram of dietary fiber, 17 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Omega-3 from Flaxseed Cereal
Purchased Price: $3.06
Size: 14.3 oz. box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Crispity flakes. A little honey sweetness. Fulfills promise of raisins. Not afraid to embrace its bran identity. Magic Fats. Muck the Bulldozer. Crime-fighting, anthropomorphic llamas.
Cons: Nothin’ bad, but nothin’ great. Could be too grainy for some. Could use one more crunch element. A little more sweetness wouldn’t hurt. Flakes get soggy in milk fast. Existential crisis in Aisle 8.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Froot Loops Treasures Cereal

Kellogg's Fruit Loops Treasures

If one man’s junk is another man’s treasure, then the new Froot Loops Treasures are something I would expect to find at a Bald Eagle’s garage sale.

Mind you, a Bald Eagle, if he were having a garage sale, would have some really good ‘junk.’ What with being the symbol of America, freedom, and numerous sports teams, but when you get right down to it, it’s still selling stuff considered junk.

Kind of like the new Froot Loops Treasures, which with a veritable rainbow of artificial food dyes and 12 grams of sugar per completely unrealistic one cup serving, could be either junk or treasure in the eye of the beholder.

If the concept behind Froot Loops Treasures looks familiar, then award yourself a +1 in the nostalgia department and consider the case of Hidden Treasures.

It was a General Mills cult favorite that had an otherwise unimpressive two year run during the early days of the Clinton administration. The gimmick behind the corn cereal with a fruity center was that not all of the squares contained actual fruit (and I use the term ‘fruit’ incredibly loosely; as in anything with color). Thus, eating Hidden Treasures was like going on a treasure hunt in cereal bowl. Man, the early 1990s were some wild times indeed.

Kellogg's Fruit Loops Treasures In Bowl

Froot Loops Treasures avoids such trickeration completely and just packs each red square with strawberry-flavored filling. While I didn’t verify the exact ratio of standard Froot Loops rings to strawberry squares with an exhaustive hand count, I’d put the ratio at about 8:1 or so.

In other words, you’re still getting plenty of that standard Froot Loops goodness. The loops aren’t as crunchy as they were back before the days when Kellogg’s made them slightly healthier with multigrain elements, but they’ve still got the cloying-in-a-good way taste that’s vaguely coconutty and fruity with a slightly glazed mouthfeel. If you love them, you love them; and oh how I love them.

The red squares lack that faux-donut glaze that the loops have, and when nibbled plain, they don’t have any taste. The good news is the filling actually has a bit of discernible strawberry flavor and even a backend note of tartness.

Kellogg's Fruit Loops Treasures Innards

It’s a strawberry goo/puree deal that has become standard for fruit-filled cereals like the Frosted Mini-Wheats Touch of Fruit in the Middle varieties. It’s not quite as candylicious as the filling of a gusher and has a little more viscosity than fruit leather. I’m sure it would make a fine spread for tea and crumpets and somesuch. 

The problem – and it’s a major one – is the same problem most filled-cereal pieces have: there’s just nowhere near enough filling to make a major impact. Given the over-the-top and one note sweetness you either love or hate with Froot Loops, the addition of a berry-flavored kick on the backend just doesn’t do much enough to make you feel like you’re eating a different kind of cereal.

Kellogg's Fruit Loops Treasures In Milk

I will say the filled-pieces are more enjoyable in milk than eaten plain. There must be something about the addition of moisture that draws out the texture of the filling, and breaks up the monotony of the standard Froot Loops flavor. To that end, I’ve become increasingly less enthusiastic about Froot Loops eaten in milk since a reformation of the formula to a multigrain texture a few years ago. They just don’t seem to stay crunchy enough, unlike, say, Malt-O-Meal’s Tootie Fruities.

If you’re a fan of Froot Loops, then you’re going to find a trove with the new Froot Loops Treasures. They’ve got everything regular Froot Loops have plus a welcomed change-of-pace that actually gives the cereal a bit more flavor and texture than the classic.

But if you’re like me, and you’re the kind of person who feels like each expedition down the cereal aisle is a search for a new and sugary treasure, then the lack of strawberry filling and textural contrast in the latest Froot Loops don’t mark the spot.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup – 110 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 0 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Kellogg’s Froot Loops Treasures Cereal
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 10.5 oz. box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: No change to the super sweet taste of standard Froot Loops. Red squares all come with at least some strawberry filling. Noticing an actual tartness and genuine strawberry taste in a cereal with more food colorings than a paining supply store. Now with fiber!
Cons: Not enough strawberry filling to make me feel like I’ve found a cereal treasure. A standard bowl mostly tastes just like regular Froot Loops. Froot Loops rings lack crunch of the good old days. Not remembering what Hidden Treasures tastes like. Animal garage sales.

REVIEW: Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Peanut Butter

Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Peanut Butter

More orange than a University of Texas football jersey and more texturally variegated than a special edition Pokémon card, it’s the latest, greatest Pop-Tarts box filled with peanut butter toaster pastries!!

Yes, people, it’s here.

After a 27-year hiatus, peanut butter is bursting through the wall of Pop-Tarts with more superhero powers than the Powerpuff Girls and Kool-Aid Man combined and, after three trips to Walmart and a narrow escape from a runaway grocery cart, I have attained my box of six golden delights.

No, your eyes aren’t fooling you. That is a gold wrapper you see and, after an in-depth psychological study, I have concluded that golden wrappers are magic.

Every time I open one, I find myself believing I am Charlie Bucket peeling back the winning Wonka wrapper, then I skip into the streets and burst into song (“I’ve got a golden ticket!”).

Apologies to anyone who had the experience of hearing me sing and thank you, Kellogg’s, for providing me with the fulfillment of a childhood dream, even if it’s only in my mind.

Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Peanut Butter Golden Ticket

All delusions of winning a trip to see an eccentric, semi-crazed candy maker aside, let’s get down to brass tacks: what do these suckers taste like?

If there’s anything the marketing plan at Google has proven, it’s that simple is always best, and these toaster pastries reinforce just that: absent of jelly or honey, these unfrosted Plain Janes allow the simple, beautiful peanut butter to shine. The crust is sweet, slightly salty, and sprinkled with sugar, harkening back to old-school peanut butter cookies.

The peanut butter inside is of the creamy variety, a touch sweeter and gooey-er than my regular Skippy, which makes it just perfect for the filling. It adds the sugary, salty, roasted-peanut creaminess needed to play off the crackly, sucrose-laden crust.

And, indeed, this is one crackly crust. If you’re unfamiliar with the genus of unfrosted Pop-Tarts, you may want to know that this crust is a little more crumbly than what you might find with a frosted Pop-Tart. The grainy casing of this fella will give your pastry-munching experience more of a shortbread/homemade graham cracker feel. Despite its more delicate nature, the crust holds the filling inside it throughout the toasting, never breaking at the seams.

Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Peanut Butter Innards

Have I mentioned toasting would be encouraged? It would be. If these taste astounding right out of the wrapper, they taste even better toasted, a feat I thought impossible at this point. The edges of the crust get slightly crisp and the peanut butter filling softens and collects at the bottom, allowing your last bite to be full of all four of the five food groups: crispy, salty, gooey, and sweet.

And these Pop-Tarts give you agency as a creative human. In the absence of jelly or any other filling, you can add whatever you like to make your own Pop-Tarts “sandwich.” Marshmallow, Doritos, ice cream, ranch dressing, whatever. I’m not gonna judge. You want some jelly with yours? Plop a friendly slab on there or, better yet, go get a box of Strawberry Pop-Tarts and eat both Pop-Tarts together. Now that’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

The greatest crime these have committed is that there are only six in a box as opposed to the regular eight. According to a response to a customer on the Pop-Tarts Facebook page, this was done to keep the price level the same as peanut butter is a more expensive ingredient.

(Margaret shakes a blighted fist to the sky!)

Curse you, market of overpriced crushed legumes!!

Number games aside, these are delicious. Up there in my top three, maybe even my top two Pop-Tarts of all time. They are crispy and salty enough to allow me to imagine they’d be perfect for breakfast while being just sweet enough to please the dessert lover in me. Give me a pack of these and some chocolate ice cream and I’m a happy kid. If Pop-Tarts are looking to up their sales, these will make for a growth curve gone vertical in my book.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 200 calories, 60 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugars, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Peanut Butter
Purchased Price: $1.98
Size: 1 box/6 pastries
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Gooey, creamy peanut butter. Shortbread cookie crust. Crackly sugar coating. Even better toasted. Cool box. Golden wrappers. One of the best Pop-Tarts experiences I’ve ever had. Most likely formed by powers of Kool-Aid Man and the Powerpuff Girls combined.
Cons: Only 6 per box. Overpriced crushed legumes. Golden wrappers do not earn you trip to eccentric candy maker’s laboratory. Runaway grocery carts in Wal-Mart. Realizing (yet again) that I am not musically inclined.

REVIEW: Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butter

Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butter

Dear Peanut Butter,

I get it. I’m a realist. You’re salty and sweet, ooey-gooey and down right delectable, and I was wrong to have tried to hog you all to myself. I can see monogamy just can’t work for you.

What with you going behind my back with Jelly or Honey all those years, it should have come as no surprise to me when I learned you really did have a thing for Bacon. And don’t get me started on Bananas, or, as even my more adventurous friends tell me, Pickles.

But Peanut Butter, it’s time for you to be a realist. We were made for each other.

You know how I know? Because when it came time to pair you up in all the convenience of a toaster pastry, that matchmaker Kellogg’s company didn’t hitch your wagon to Jelly or send you a valentine from Honey. No, they stuffed you inside of me, and damned if I don’t admit we are perfect together.

Why hide our love from the world any longer? I say we announce that we’re back and better than ever. They thought our best days were behind us, what with Reese’s Peanut Butter Puffs no longer being the novelty it once was, and our time in pretty much every conceivable Snickers form having run its course. But there’s just something about this new love, born from the Pop-Tart, which just works.

Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butter Foil

You adorn yourself in a golden wrapper, but it’s what’s beneath that shining attire which counts. Could it be our delicious utility together? Sometimes dull and uninteresting when eaten at room temperature, our Pop-Tart is perfect in any climate.

Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butter Outards

Tantalizing with a semisweet chocolate aroma, each slightly crispy bite of the exterior frosted shell yields to your peanuty and salty gooeyness. It’s homey and familiar – not pretentious or overly oily like some of those organic designer peanut butters; yet at the same time, it’s wholesome and full bodied, like the Midwestern girl next door. I love how you don’t use chemicals like hydrogenated oils to taste your best, proving that natural taste can definitely go a long way.

Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butter Innards

Did I mentioned the chew? I know there are some who scoff at your ability to stick to the roof of their mouths, but as we come together in one sweet, salty, chocolaty and smooth amalgamation, even the most rushed eater is forced to reckon with the forces of mechanical digestion and savor our love. Even our outer shell, a bit doughy, tasty and bland on its own (despite the cocoa tint) gets new life during this phase of our relationship, as we rekindle the classic flavors of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

I could go on forever but I think you know what I’m saying. Peanut Butter, it’s hard to screw us up. And yes, Pop-Tart has tarnished the flavorful marriage of power couples before. But in this case, we don’t just go together, we go together in one of the best Pop-Tart flavors that has ever been conceived.

True, there may be minor flaws to our love – you are a bit thin, you know, and I’d love to love more of your filling – but it’s nothing we can’t overcome. But promise me one thing, Peanut Butter. Even if Pop-Tarts decides to start paring you with your old flings, just remember that I, Chocolate, was your first true love.

Love,

Chocolate

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 200 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of total fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 19 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butte reviews:
Fatguy Food Blog

Item: Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butter
Purchased Price: $1.98
Size: 6 toaster pastries/box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Perhaps the single most memorable Pop-Tart I’ve ever eaten. Exceptional balance of chocolate and peanut butter flavor. Tastes like a slightly melted version of a Reese’s Peanut Butter cup, except without the gritty peanut butter texture. Ooey-gooey peanut butter filling, even when not warmed. Sticks in the nooks and crannies within your mouth.
Cons: Only six Toaster Pastries instead of the usual eight. I wish these Pastries were pregnant with an bulging baby of peanut butter filling. On the heavier side of the sugar spectrum for Pop-Tarts. Probably not best to eat the entire box without some sort of liquid to wash it down. Writing a love letter to a condiment.