Tag: Market Pantry

REVIEW: Market Pantry Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream and Apple Crisp Ice Cream

Marvo 1 Comment

Market Pantry Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream and Apple Crisp Ice Cream Pints

Update: These are now Target’s Favorite Day Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream and Apple Crisp Ice Cream.

What are Market Pantry Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream and Apple Crisp Ice Cream?

One has pumpkin cheesecake-flavored ice cream (made with pumpkin puree) with a graham cracker swirl. The other features artificially flavored apple crisp ice cream swirled with caramel and oatmeal pieces. Both are seasonal varieties at Target.

How are they?

Market Pantry Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream Top

Well, let’s start with the Pumpkin Cheesecake one. If you force-fed this pint to me and said it’s pumpkin cheesecake-flavored, I’d grab the pint from your hand, get a clean spoon (because I don’t want any indirect kissing), force-feed you a spoonful, and then ask you in the most dramatic tone I could muster, “Is it pumpkin cheesecake-flavored?”

I initially notice cheesecake tang, but that quickly goes away with the first spoonful. With subsequent spoonfuls, all I taste are pumpkin, spices, and gritty graham crackers, which, according to Thanksgiving math, equals a pumpkin pie. As a pumpkin pie ice cream, it’s delightful and accurately hits all the pie’s flavors. But without having that tang throughout, it doesn’t convince my mouth that anything cheesecake is involved.

Market Pantry Apple Crisp Ice Cream Top

The apple crisp ice cream base has a mild taste similar to Fuji apple-flavored products I’ve had. But when eaten with the caramel, the apple is heightened. The oatmeal pieces, when my mouth finds a whole one, have a taste and texture that reminds me of Quaker Oatmeal Squares Cereal. Their crunch and subdued sweetness are a contrast to the other two components.

While the Apple Crisp one is also tasty, a few spoonfuls had an off flavor. It’s not anything that made me spit it out, but it’s a striking difference to the other spoonfuls.

Anything else you need to know?

This is my first time experiencing Market Pantry Ice Cream. I don’t know why it’s taken me this long. It’s not as if the price is holding me back since pints cost half of any name brand. I’m also not a brand name snob because I’m typing this on a $7.99 BingoTechStyle Bluetooth Keyboard I bought on Amazon that’s no longer being sold.

Both are super easy to scoop. I’m talking frozen dairy dessert easy. Maybe air should be added to the ingredients list?

Conclusion:

If you’re looking for high quality, dense ice cream this fall season, look elsewhere. If you want to enjoy inexpensive holiday frozen treats, Market Pantry’s Apple Crisp Ice Cream or Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream might satisfy your seasonal sweet tooth.

Purchased Price: $2.35 each
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Pumpkin Cheesecake), 7 out of 10 (Apple Crisp)
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) Pumpkin Cheesecake – 200 calories, 10 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Apple Crisp – 190 calories, 9 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 21 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Market Pantry Sugar Cookie Milk

Mark 1 Comment

Market Pantry Sugar Cookie Milk

What is Market Pantry’s Sugar Cookie Milk?

Target’s store brand has created a new holiday milk, meant to taste like sugar cookies. It has only five ingredients: milk, sugar, natural flavor, carrageenan, and vitamin D3.

How is it?

Market Pantry Sugar Cookie Milk 2

As I first drank it, the flavor was extraordinarily familiar to me. It was on the tip of my tongue (literally), but I couldn’t quite place it. Then it came to me: caramel corn.

This milk tastes exactly like caramel popcorn. But without those annoying kernels that get stuck between your teeth!

So, does it taste like what it’s supposed to? Well, it could. There are so many sugar cookie recipes that there’s probably one out there that tastes like caramel corn. I did detect a bit of butteriness, a key ingredient of sugar cookies. There was also a vibe of baked goods. I like it, but it doesn’t taste like any sugar cookies I have had.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Unopened, this milk has a longer shelf life than typical unflavored milk. It’s early November, yet the best-by date is Christmas Eve.

Conclusion:

Market Pantry Sugar Cookie Milk 3

I don’t like this as much as chocolate milk, and it doesn’t really taste like sugar cookies, but I had no problem consuming a whole glass of it. And it has half the calories of eggnog, making it a not-quite-as-bad-for-you option for a holiday party.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 1 quart
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 200 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 26 grams of total sugars, 15 grams of added sugars, and 7 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Market Pantry Birthday Cake Creme Sandwich Cookies

Marvo 1 Comment

Market Pantry Birthday Cake Creme Sandwich Cookies

Do you want to know how to ruin my birthday party?

Do any of the following.

Get me a pony instead of the mini unicorn I requested. Give me a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf gift card instead of a Starbucks gift card. Put trick candles on my birthday cake. Make me hit a piñata with a blindfold. Not sing “Happy Birthday” in a language other than English. And pass out these Market Pantry Birthday Cake Sandwich Cookies instead of Nabisco’s Birthday Cake Oreo Cookies.

You may think I’m pooh-poohing the store brand because I’m a brand elitist or I’ve got cash to burn so I can spend it on big brands, but I think Target’s Market Pantry puts out some really good stuff, like their Snickerdoodle Milk.

I’d be insulted if someone brought these store brand birthday cake-flavored sandwich cookies to my party because there are several things off about them.

Let’s start with the packaging.

If Target’s Market Basket wants to copy Nabisco’s ideas, might I suggest copying the resealable package. Sure, Nabisco probably has a patent or two for their resealable cookie packaging, but I wish Target would come up with their own because once this package is open, you’ve either got to close it with tape, clothespins, or eat the whole damn thing in one sitting. Also, the graphics on the packaging confuse me. The cookies are chocolate wafers with creme, but the cake on the packaging is yellow cake with frosting. Yeah, that doesn’t match.

Market Pantry Birthday Cake Creme Sandwich Cookies Stcak

Now let’s move on to the creme.

First, it looks like it was either placed on the chocolate wafer by an uncalibrated or emo creme squirting machine (I believe creme squirting machine is the technical name for it) or it looks like my lazy ass put these cookies together. The pat of creme isn’t in a uniform shape and it’s not centered in the middle of the cookie like the creme is with an Oreo cookie. Also, the colorful “sprinkles,” which make the creme appear birthday cake frosting-ish, seem to be nothing more than spots of food dye. It looks like the Nyan Cat sneezed on it.

As for the flavor, I don’t think it tastes birthday cake frosting-ish. It’s more like regular chocolate sandwich cookie creme-ish. I licked my way through several cookies as if I was a dog with a jar of peanut butter, but didn’t think there was anything resembling birthday cake.

While the packaging and creme are off, they don’t make the cookie’s flavor weird. But that happens with the chocolate wafers. They have a crunch similar to Oreo cookies and they start off with a mild cocoa flavor, but they end with a weird, bitter artificialness that brings down the entire cookie and guarantees it ends up on my birthday party shitlist.

So if your arm reaches for these Market Pantry Birthday Cake Sandwich Cookies, shift it to the far right or far left, which is where the Nabisco cookies are probably stocked at your local Target, and grab the Nabisco Birthday Cake Oreo Cookies instead before you come to my birthday party.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories 60 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

*made with partially hydrogenated oils

Item: Market Pantry Birthday Cake Creme Sandwich Cookies
Purchased Price: $2.09
Size: 15.25 oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Cheaper than Birthday Cake Oreo. Getting Starbucks gift cards. Unicorns. Nabisco products being to the left or right of these cookies.
Cons: Tastes cheaper than Birthday Cake Oreo. Chocolate wafers have weird bitterness. Creme doesn’t taste birthday cake-ish. Sprinkles aren’t sprinkles. Packaging shows yellow cake with white frosting, but the cookies are chocolate. It looks like I put the cookies together.

QUICK REVIEW: Market Pantry Snickerdoodle Holiday Milk

Marvo 3 Comments

Market Pantry Snickerdoodle Holiday Milk

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 1 quart
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Cinnamon-y! Creamy! It’s ultra-pasteurized! It tastes like magic! There’s a pleasant caramel-like butteriness. Would probably be awesome in a milkshake. Also, tastes great when warmed up. If you’re looking to replace one fatty holiday beverage for another, this would be an awesome choice.
Cons: Not sure it tastes exactly like a snickerdoodle, but it’s damn yummy. 41 grams of sugar in one cup, which is the same amount in a 12 oz. can of Pepsi. A cup has more saturated fat than a Burger King Whopper Jr. Only comes in quarts, although because it’s so bad for us, that might be a good thing.

Market Pantry Snickerdoodle Holiday Milk Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 1 cup – 280 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 43 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 41 grams of sugar, 9 grams of protein, 6% vitamin A, 35% calcium, and 2% iron.

QUICK REVIEW: Market Pantry Chocolate Truffle Muffin Caps

Marvo 4 Comments

Market Pantry Chocolate Truffle Muffin Caps

Purchased Price: $3.79
Size: 4 count
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: They look good. You can stick them in the microwave or let them thaw at room temperature for 45 minutes. Contains live and active cultures. Only 100 calories. 5 grams of fiber per muffin cap.
Cons: Weird slightly bitter flavor. Looks more chocolatey than they really are. Melted chocolate chips have a grainy texture. They look like VitaTops, but don’t provide the same amount of vitamins and minerals. Odd chewy texture. Makes me want my money back. There are tastier ways to get fiber. Calling these muffin caps instead of muffin tops.

Market Pantry Chocolate Truffle Muffin Caps Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 1 muffin top – 100 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 4% calcium, and 10% iron.