REVIEW: McDonald’s Sweet & Spicy Jam Sauce and Mambo Sauce

McDonald’s Hot Mustard is my default sauce. I’ve dipped my Chicken McNuggets in them for the past, um, I can’t remember how long. It’s extremely rare for me to deviate from that, although there was that brief dark moment when McDonald’s discontinued it and brought it back. My sauce swaying also happens when the Golden Arches offers new dips. The latest are Sweet & Spicy Jam and Mambo.

According to McDonald’s, the Sweet & Spicy Jam is a jammy red pepper sauce with a Szechuan peppercorn kick and extra heat from cayenne pepper, and finished with apple cider vinegar. It’s McDonald’s first-ever breakfast-inspired dipping sauce in the US. While the chain recommends trying it with various breakfast menu items, it’s available all day. Mambo is a tomato-based, sweet, spicy, and vinegary. It’s inspired by the popular condiment found at many Washington DC restaurants.

The first thought that came to mind after trying the Sweet & Spicy Jam was Panda Express, probably because of the Szechuan peppercorns. And at the same time, I thought it tasted like a spicier version of something else McDonald’s has offered. It’s sweet, peppery, spicy, and a little something else. It warmed the back of my mouth but didn’t become anything more than mild. After scraping whatever I could from the container with a rigid French fry, proving that I enjoyed it, I thought about it and realized it’s like a spicy sweet & sour sauce.

As for the Mambo Sauce, I should start with a full disclosure: This is my first experience with it (it’s also known as mumbo sauce) since I live on the opposite side of the country from where it’s famous. But Mambo is instantly the most fun Chicken McNuggets sauce name to say. It’s much spicier than the Sweet & Spicy Jam and has a slight fruitiness that I think might be pineapple. But it tastes like a sweet and peppery barbecue sauce that happens to make my head sweat a little.

I wanted to end this review by typing that the Sweet & Spicy Jam is my new jam, but I’d be lying because Hot Mustard is still my jam, er, mustard. Both new sauces are tasty takes on the pairing of sweet and spicy, and I enjoyed them equally. They’re definitely worth a try if you enjoy that flavor combo.

Purchased Price: Comes with 10-piece Chicken McNuggets
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Sweet & Spicy Jam – 80 calories. Mambo Sauce – 60 calories. No other information is available on McDonald’s website.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Peanut Butter Crunch McFlurry

After years of having an occasional new McFlurry offering, there’s been a flurry of limited time McFlurry varieties over the past few years. There have been at least two annually since 2019. McDonald’s new Peanut Butter Crunch McFlurry is the second new blended treat this year from the Golden Arches. It follows the Strawberry Shortcake one that came out in the spring. So there’s a good chance we’ll have to wait until 2024 for a new variety.

The Peanut Butter Crunch McFlurry is described on the McDonald’s site as a crispy cereal mix and chocolatey peanut butter cookie pieces in vanilla soft serve. While that sounds delicious, if you look through the mix-ins’ ingredients list, there are “peanut butter creme cookies,” “fudge coated peanut brittle,” “chocolate peanut butter yummy chow” (no, fo’ reals), and “peanut butter cereal squares” listed, which makes it even more enticing.

And it’s not just appealing on paper. Looking at it from above, the dessert looks inviting, with a generous helping of cereal, cookies, and yummy chow floating on the white soft serve. If the image above doesn’t make you want to instantly dive in with a spoon, I don’t know if we can have a relationship. However, I will be the Snack Grinch here and say, as good as this looks in my photos and as intriguing as the ingredients list reads, this McFlurry is okay.

The cereal and cookie pieces were crunchy, but unfortunately, it’s not very chocolatey or peanut butter-y, even with a decent amount of mix-ins on my spoon. That’s fine if you want a treat that’s not too cloying, but I want a little indulgence here. I want something as enjoyable as a McDonald’s Hot Fudge Sundae, and I’m not quite getting that with this. Though, there were a couple of moments when the cereal, cookies, yummy chow, or a combination of the three sort of tasted like a waffle cone. Also, one last thing about the mix-ins. Like a good cereal, they maintained their crunch in the quickly melting soft serve after I took pictures.

McDonald’s Peanut Butter Crunch McFlurry is a nice change of pace if your usual After Mac treat is an Oreo or M&M’s McFlurry. It’s not going to knock your socks off. But if you’re wearing crew socks, it might make them slide down your calves slightly.

Purchased Price: $4.59
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 510 calories, 16 grams of fat, 10 gram of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 78 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 47 grams of sugar (including 47 grams of added sugar), and 12 gram of protein.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Cookies & Creme Pie

McDonald’s Cookies & Creme Pie looks saweet (is that how the kids spell it nowadays?). Not only does it look tasty, but with an almost toothpaste tube’s worth of white creme filling, it also seems like it would make my sweet tooth tap out before I got even halfway through the pie. Well, my sweet tooth is happy to report that while the black and white treat looks cloying, it’s surprisingly not as sugary as a Double Stuf Oreo Cookie.

Before opening the box, the aroma that radiated out of it brought to mind any Pop-Tart with a chocolate crust, like the Hot Fudge Sundae and Cookies & Creme flavors. It was a sign that this treat might not be as sweet as I thought. The crust’s flavor also made me think of Pop-Tarts with its mild dark cocoa taste. But there are varying levels of chocolatiness, with the crust’s seams having a flavor that stands out a bit more.

But the thing about Pop-Tarts is that while the crust isn’t flavorful, the filling more than makes up for it. Unfortunately, the creme’s taste in this pie is as mild as the crust. There were hints of vanilla, and at times I could’ve sworn I tasted a slight tang (my wife didn’t taste any), but the filling wasn’t close to being as sweet as Oreo creme or even McDonald’s soft serve. The combined mildness of the crust and creme made for a slightly disappointing treat. I guess I expected more of a sugary punch because of how other McDonald’s pies are, like the tasty Guava & Creme Pie I tried a few months ago. However, my wife said she liked that it wasn’t too sweet, which reminded her of Japanese confections.

The creme was stiffer than I expected, making it cleaner to eat — no oozing with the one I chomped through. Decorating the crust were flavorless white sprinkles that provided a slight candy crunch when I chewed on the soft, dark crust and softer, bright white filling.

So what could’ve made this better? Maybe the filling should’ve been a mix of chocolate and white creme, much like the Guava & Creme Pie was a mix of a guava-flavored gel and creme. Or maybe the white creme could’ve been slightly sweeter.

McDonald’s Cookies & Creme Pie was okay, but I wouldn’t repurchase it. Its flavor and sweetness don’t make me yearn for another, unlike an Oreo cookie or a cookies & cream ice cream/frozen dairy dessert, which I sometimes have self-control issues with. If you want a tastier and more satisfying cookies and creme experience from McDonald’s, just get an Oreo McFlurry.

Purchased Price: $2.69
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 220 calories (other nutritional information not available on McDonald’s website at the time of publication).

REVIEW: McDonald’s Cheesy Jalapeno Bacon Quarter Pounder

As the summer sun beats down upon our heads, McDonald’s has decided to also make the insides of our heads burn with its new Cheesy Jalapeno Bacon Quarter Pounder with Cheese. The burger features a 1/4 lb beef patty, two American cheese slices, three half-strips of bacon, a cheese sauce, and jalapeno slices on a sesame seed bun. It’s basically a spicy bacon cheeseburger.

My order came with ten jalapeno slices. TEN! Of course, your results may vary. With that generous amount of brined, spicy peppers, I thought the flavor and heat would overwhelm the rest of the sandwich. But the cheese sauce tempers the spiciness and vinegary peppery punch with its salty processed cheese product goodness. But the sauce doesn’t make this spicy Quarter Pounder tolerable to those who are heat adverse. Also, oddly, the orange condiment has the viscosity of spackle, making it hard for gravity to pull down the jalapenos stuck to the sauce.

Yes, there are also the two American cheese slices that are in every Quarter Pounder, but they don’t stand out here because the sauce is cheesier and saltier. I imagine if the slices were left alone to manage the jalapenos’ heat and flavor, they wouldn’t stand a chance, and I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed this burger.

Now let’s get to the meat of the menu item.

The beef patty and bacon’s saltiness and meatiness still come through despite the strong jalapeno taste and cheesiness. The bacon’s smokiness is also noticeable with most bites. Unfortunately, the pork pieces are chewy but not crispy. However, the jalapenos do add some texture by providing a pleasant crunch.

I plan to reorder this tasty McDonald’s Cheesy Jalapeno Bacon Quarter Pounder. Although when I do, I’ll probably customize it with extra cheese sauce to make it truly taste cheesy since the American cheese was no help in that department. But again, this is just a spicy bacon cheeseburger with pretty much the same ingredients we’ve seen in offerings from other fast food chains. There’s nothing groundbreaking flavor-wise here.

After eating the burger, my face looked and felt a little flushed thanks to the eight jalapeno slices, and I did reach for a cold drink a couple of times while eating this. But then again, my head might’ve felt that way due to the combination of this burger and the summer heat.

Purchased Price: $7.89*
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 650 calories, 38 grams of fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 120 milligrams of cholesterol, 1760 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 37 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Grimace’s Birthday Meal feat. Grimace’s Birthday Shake

Happy 52nd Birthday, Grimace!

I have to admit; Grimace doesn’t look 52 years old. It’s like he’s the Paul Rudd of McDonaldland. (By the way, Paul Rudd is older than Grimace.) To celebrate the occasion, McDonald’s is offering for a limited time Grimace’s Birthday Meal that features your choice of either a Big Mac or 10-piece Chicken McNuggets, fries, and a limited edition shake that’s inspired by the big guy’s color and sweetness.

Look, if you’re reading this, you probably know what a Big Mac, Chicken McNuggets, and McDonald’s fries taste like. So let’s spend the rest of this review on Grimace’s Birthday Shake, which I wonder if Grimace has actually had because wouldn’t it be like eating himself since, according to McDonald’s, he’s “the embodiment of a milkshake”?

Anyhoo, since Grimace represents a shake, one of the mysteries about it was, “What shake flavor is he?” Well, we now might have an answer. Grimace’s Birthday Shake has a delightful blueberry flavor that reminds me of the fruit at the bottom of a blueberry yogurt but a little more intense. It’s mostly sweet, and at some points I thought it was reaching the level of being too sugary, but there’s also some tang to it. I also think this blueberry flavor would be great in an Oreo McFlurry. Maybe do that for Grimace’s 53rd birthday, McDonald’s? For now, I’ll just dip my fries into it, which is surprisingly good.

If there’s one issue, it’s that in order to get it, I have to purchase Grimace’s Birthday Meal. Look, I get it, money, demand, growth, customer traffic, valuation, shareholders, Hamburglar’s constant bail, yadda yadda yadda. But the only barrier to getting the shake should be a broken or currently being cleaned soft serve machine and not wondering if I want to eat several hundred calories to suck up a few hundred purple calories. Although I admit, it’s worth it the first time because that’s how tasty the shake is. But I don’t want to do it every time.

Purchased Price: $13.19* (meal)
Size: Medium shake
Rating: 8 out of 10 (shake only)
Nutrition Facts: (shake only) 580 calories, 15 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 97 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 75 grams of sugar (including 62 grams of added sugar), and 12 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.