Tag: Milka

For my entire adult life, I have maintained that the Spice Girls will forever be Europe’s greatest contribution to the United States. Let’s face it, “Wannabe” was the biggest radio hit in 1997. These days, I only hear it while sitting in the waiting room at the dentist’s office. And every time, I have to endure the subsequent joke from my dentist to open my mouth and say “zig-a-zig ahh.” Every. Single. Time.

While the only notable thing I’ve done lately is spend an entire day watching “Spice World,” the folks at Mondelez are making a splash by bringing another group of marquee stars from overseas. Milka Oreo Choco-Mix is the third part of the treat trifecta — treat-fecta? -— from the Milka and Oreo brands, the others being the Big Crunch Bar and Chocolate Candy Bar. It’s got mini Oreo and Golden Oreo cookies, Milka chocolate buttons, and candy coated chocolate pieces. Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and schedule my next dentist appointment now.

?Opening the bag of Milka Oreo Choco-Mix to a visage of only Oreos brought a wave of conflicting feelings. On one hand, I’ll never complain about a surplus of Oreos. But on the other hand, what happened to the other stuff? I soon discovered that the lighter ingredients had settled to the bottom, and all I had to do was jostle the bag. The Spice Girls once exclaimed, “slam it to the left…shake it to the right!” Fun fact: they were actually singing about Choco-Mix.

Let’s deconstruct Milka Oreo Choco-Mix for a minute. The mini Oreo sandwich cookies are the familiar Oreo flavors you know and love. The mini classic Oreos have a slightly bitter chocolate cookie, while the mini Golden Oreos use a sweeter, vanilla-flavored cookie. Both contain the same sweet, sugary creme. The candy coated chocolate pieces are identical to M&M’s: creamy milk chocolate, with a crunchy candy shell. If those pieces use higher quality Milka chocolate instead of Mars chocolate, I didn’t taste a significant difference.

Speaking of that higher quality Milka chocolate, it’s scattered throughout this Choco-Mix in the form of round, thin discs. The chocolate is rich and creamy, and hands down better than anything we have here in the United States. The discs are light and firm, providing a crisp bite that melts instantly in your mouth.

To my surprise, the separate ingredients actually come together quite well. I was half-expecting a handful of Milka Oreo Choco-Mix to simply devolve into a mouthful of sugar, but the components manage to play off of each other without getting lost. The bitter classic Oreo cookie is a good counterpart to the sweeter chocolate candies and sugary Oreo creme. The golden Oreo cookie introduces a vanilla flavor to avoid going too heavy on the chocolate. The crunchy cookies, hard candy shells, and creamy chocolate create a nice variety in texture.

But even though Milka Oreo Choco-Mix works well, it seems one-dimensional after a handful or two. I found myself yearning for more variety—for example, through the addition of nuts (candy coated chocolate pieces with peanuts, perhaps) or different flavors of Oreos (cough mini Reese’s Oreos cough). And the proportion of the ingredients leans heavily toward the Milka discs, which can be a bit overwhelming if you don’t get an even handful.

Milka Oreo Choco-Mix is a solid snack mix and a welcome addition to the candy aisle. I’m hoping that in the future, we’ll see new versions with even more ingredients and Oreo flavors. For now though, it’s worth the extra dentist appointment.

I can’t wait to hear “Wannabe” again.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/4 cup – 200 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.).)

Purchased Price: $3.50
Size: 6.17 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Good combination of flavors and fun textural variety. Excellent, high-quality chocolate. The Spice Girls are first-ballot Rock and Roll Hall of Fame candidates.
Cons: Taste becomes slightly redundant after a couple of handfuls. Might contain too many Milka discs. Could benefit from addition of new ingredients or Oreo flavors. Corny dentist jokes.

Oreo has become the Lego of food.

Years ago Lego was just Lego, but at some point they decided to dip their blocks in everyone else’s product pool. You can get a Lego set of any entertainment brand you want these days. I just Amazon one-clicked a Lego set of The Max from Saved by the Bell.

I’m a liar of course, but maybe The Impulsive Buy’s clout can get that set made. Let’s make this happen, people!

Anyway, Oreo seems to be following Lego’s model on the culinary scene. A new Oreo flavor seems to drop every month and they’re collaborating with other food brands. Oreo has become the Lego of food! Of course to the dimwitted adventurous child, Lego is the Lego of food.

The most recent Oreo collaboration I stumbled upon was the Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bar.

I wasn’t too familiar with Milka chocolate before they decided to bunk up with Nabisco. I’d seen it many times, but never actually bought it, and ya know what? I’m dumb. It’s pretty great.

The label boasts that Milka is Swiss-made with Alpine Milk, which lends to its overall creaminess. Is that the secret? Alpine Milk? Can I buy Alpine Milk in pints, because I think I love it?

Let’s be real here for a second, European chocolate destroys our American brand chocolate. Sure I like Hershey’s or Russell Stover, but Euro chocolate is just more decadent. It’s creamier. It just flat out tastes better, and Milka certainly holds up to that billing in my opinion.

The chocolate here is everything I just said it was. It had a perfect texture, a sweet flavor that wasn’t overbearing, and it melted in my mouth.

I really enjoyed the Oreo cookie crunch as well. It’s not as prominent as say a Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme bar, but that’s a good thing. This candy bar has the perfect amount of crunch. Each square gives you two or three small crunches.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that I KNEW the cream was Oreo. Well, I knew because the label told me. But without it, I would think this was Milka’s take on a cookies and cream bar. That being said, I still think it’s awesome to look at. Seeing a layer of Oreo cream dotted with bits of cookies inside of a candy bar is a marvel to behold. A marvel I say!

Real quick – Is it Oreo cream or Oreo crème? I can’t keep up with products that have “crème” vs. those with “cream.” Is there a difference? “Crème” is just a fancy way of spelling “cream,” right? This being a European, and thus fancy candy bar, I feel like I should say “crème,” but I never know. The battle of “cream” versus “crème” rages on. Hell, one snack cake I picked up even claimed it was filled with “Kareem!” I put that one back on the shelf.

So as far as this collaboration goes, Milka is the deserved star. Oreo plays the supporting role nicely though despite the cream being a bit indeterminable.

Great balance. Great freshness. Great texture. For $1.50, you can’t go wrong. Milka has a new fan. This might be my new favorite “cookies and cream” candy bar.

Hopefully the Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bar becomes a gateway snack, and they start making chocolate bars with the other various crazy Oreo cream/crème flavors.

But hold the Swedish Fish.

(Nutrition Facts – 6 pieces – 220 calories, 120 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.50
Size: 3.52 oz. bar
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Delicious, creamy chocolate. Just the right amount of crunch. Great balance between ingredients. A brand marriage made in Heaven. Alpine Milk!
Cons: Not necessarily Oreo Cream flavor. Never knowing whether to write “Crème” or “Cream.” Kids who eat Legos. The inevitable Oreo Movie.

This morning I cracked open a fortune cookie (I tend to eschew traditional breakfasts for whatever happens to be in my car). The fortune read “All progress occurs because people dare to be different.” It made me ponder if the fortune tellers had encountered the Oreo Big Crunch Bar, as the product’s differences from its namesake served as deterrents to my enjoyment.

My expectations for a “Big Crunch” were set immediately due to the naming contrivances employed. In the wake of snagging mini chocolate bars from my kids’ Halloween stashes last month, I felt foolish sitting alone in a room with this massive product — it was clearly meant to be consumed by a lacrosse team or a car full of clowns. Big, and then some, and then some more.

Conversely, I’m not quite sure about the crunch factor also used in the product’s moniker. The 2 to 1 ratio we are accustomed to with Oreo cookies has been replaced with a 1 to 4 ratio — Milka chocolate on the top and bottom, plus creme on BOTH the bottom and top of one layer of cookie. To further uncrunchify the bar, pools of creme and chocolate sans cookie occur in the corners.

One additional misconception furthered by the partnership with Oreo is that the creme inside the candy bar is going to be the same found in an Oreo. The familiar grainy texture has been replaced with something sweeter, smoother, and unfamiliar. It’s not bad but certainly unexpected.

Differences aside, the first bites of Oreo BCB were enjoyable. It reminded me of an improved version of my least favorite Oreo incarnation, the insanely sweet White Fudge covered Oreos. Here the ratio of chocolate did not appear to be as overwhelming at first and had a pleasant taste, but consuming more lead quickly to sweetness fatigue.

Overall, this was probably not the reaction that Milka was hoping for when combining two hallmark products. Lacking in crunch or Oreo-ness, being big just isn’t enough. “One must fulfill what they intend to be” is the more telling fortune in this case, and Milka seems to have missed by quite a bit on that prophesy.

(Nutrition Facts – 5 pieces – 230 calories, 130 calories from fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99 (on sale)
Size: 10.5 oz. bar
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Hulking size. Improvement on Fudge-covered Oreo concept. Some Cookies N’ Cream overtones. The best fortune I ever read: “You like Chinese food.”
Cons: Crunch is suppressed. Creme is not “that” creme. Far sweeter than necessary. The worst fortune I ever made up: “Those who can cook, do. Those who cannot write food reviews.”