Tag: Nabisco

REVIEW: Nabisco Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo

Marvo 15 Comments

Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo

Only a few genes separate humans from apes. And only a few ingredients separate ginger snaps from gingerbread cookies. But those differences stop me from throwing my poop at others and prevent me from liking ginger snaps, but enjoying gingerbread cookies.

So if these Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo cookies were Limited Edition Ginger Snap Oreo cookies, I wouldn’t be writing this review.

For those of you who’ve lived under a rock for the past year, 2012 was Oreo’s 100th birthday and Nabisco made it rain new limited edition Oreo flavors up in here.

Limited Edition Birthday Cake Oreo began the celebration. Then Limited Edition Ice Cream Oreo Rainbow Shure, Bert! were at Walmarts all across the nation. Limited Edition Candy Cane Oreo cookies were a Target exclusive. While Limited Edition Lemon Twist Oreo weren’t in national chains and proved to be elusive. Limited Edition Triple Double Chocolate Mint Oreo was by far the least exciting of the bunch. And now the year ends with Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo cookies for us to munch.

Personally, I find it a bit weird Nabisco produced a cookie that tastes like another cookie. I also would’ve preferred an egg nog-flavored Oreo cookie instead. However, if next year Nabisco releases as many new limited edition flavors as they did this year, there’s a very good chance we’ll see Egg Nog Oreo cookies. Or they could be douchebags and just re-release all the limited edition flavors from this year.

Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo Closeup

Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo cookies are made up of Golden Oreo cookies with an artificially flavored gingerbread creme, which comes in a color usually seen on pantyhose. After twisting off the top cookie and licking the soft pantyhose-colored creme, visions of limbless gingerbread men began dancing around my head because the creme tasted much like the arms and legs I violently ripped off their bodies with my teeth. In my visions, I could also see the pain they were in thanks to their sad faces drawn with frosting.

Then I imagined them shaking and thrusting their hips.

Damn you, Magic Mike!

While the creme itself was sweet and had a pleasant gingerbread flavor, the sandwich cookies are much better when eaten as sandwich cookies. The crunchy Golden Oreo cookies slightly diminish the gingerbread creme’s flavor, but the two complement each other very well, creating a delightful treat.

The Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo cookies are almost good enough to make me forget about the Egg Nog Oreo cookies Nabisco didn’t make this year. But they are good enough to prevent me from harming gingerbread men…Until I run out of them.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 15 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo
Purchased Price: $9.59*
Size: 15.25 ounces
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful gingerbread flavored creme. Crunchy Golden Oreo cookies complement the creme. Ripping off the limbs of gingerbread men. Gingerbread cookies.
Cons: A cookie that tastes like another cookie. Walmart exclusive. Might be hard to find. Ginger snaps. Having to spell creme instead of cream. Magic Mike ruining my violent gingerbread men visions. No egg nog Oreo this year.

*Since none of the stores near me carried it, I had to order it on eBay. If you can find them at Walmart, you will pay much less.

REVIEW: Nabisco Limited Edition Candy Corn Oreo

Stephanie 12 Comments

Nabisco Limited Edition Candy Corn Oreo

Halloween is coming, and I can already tell that for some of you, one of the most frightening events of this particular season is the recent release of a Candy Corn-flavored Oreo.

Now, I understand that to many, candy corn is unappetizing. These folks see it as striped candle wax melted down and shaped into chewy, inedible shapes suggesting the appearance rotten dog teeth, which is then given away in loads by lazy or otherwise uncaring households to trick-or-treaters who can only greet the sub-par candy gift with gritted teeth and a half-assed “Thank-you” mumbled through their Batman masks. Those people strongly believe that all candy corn tastes like sticky, flavorless plastic.

But it’s not true.

There is a difference in candy corn flavor from brand to brand, and unfortunately, many people have had the misfortune of tasting the cheap brands that do not use real honey in their confections. I get that some people just don’t have a sweet tooth or don’t care for excessive amounts of sugar, so they stay clear of candy corn. I’ve never had this problem. The sweeter, the better. As a result, I have had no fear of candy corn, and having tasted nearly every type of candy corn, I consider myself to be a candy corn connoisseur. (This is probably the most I’ve typed the words “candy corn” in one sitting. I deserve a medal … shaped like a piece of candy corn.)

I say all this to give you some perspective on my experience with the new Limited Edition Candy Corn Oreo cookies… and after sampling this new (very sweet) sandwich cookie, I’ve come away with one question. How on earth are these Candy Corn Oreos? Have the people at Nabisco never eaten a real piece of candy corn before? Before you even get the cookies out of the package, you can smell the very potent (yet admittedly pleasant) aroma of cupcakes. Candy corn does not smell like cake, so already, I’m wondering what these sandwich cookies are all about.

Nabisco Limited Edition Candy Corn Oreo Closeup

The Limited Edition Candy Corn Oreo is shaped just like a regular Oreo with a thin layer of sugary crème filling between two Golden Oreo wafers. The filling is dyed with one orange side and one yellow side to mimic the appearance of an actual piece of candy corn. They’re forgetting the white tips, but… whatever. This is the level of commitment we’re dealing with.

The cookie part of the sandwich does not balance out the extreme sweetness of this filling at all, and that’s probably because they’re Golden Oreos, which I think are sweeter than the original chocolate Oreo wafers. In fact, they amp up the sugariness to 1000.87 percent based on my Sugar-o-Meter readings. (Full disclosure: The Sugar-o-Meter is just a girl I know who bit into the cookie and said, “That’s really sugary.”) Candy Corn Oreos have the same satisfying crunch as regular Oreos, and you could probably dunk them in milk. However, I’m weird about milk the same way some of you are weird about candy corn, so I can’t give you any advice on dunking your Oreos without feeling nauseated. So let’s move on.

As I mentioned before, Limited Edition Candy Corn Oreo cookies smell like cupcakes, so it makes sense that the crème filling tastes like vanilla frosting. Seriously, that’s what these Oreos taste like to me – sugary Vanilla cupcakes with buttercream frosting. Don’t get me wrong… They’re yummy, and I didn’t dislike these Oreos at all. However, they are not Candy Corn-flavored. There wasn’t a note of honey or mellowcreme-style flavor. Nothing about these Oreos besides the color scheme evokes the experience of real candy corn. If Nabisco wanted to make a Vanilla Cupcake Oreo next, they could just change the food coloring of the crème and re-release these sandwich cookies.

So basically, I was looking forward to an Oreo that tasted like one of my favorite Halloween candies, and instead, I got a cake frosting-derived interpretation of one of the world’s most-loved and most-hated holiday confections, which totally missed the mark. These Limited Edition Candy Corn Oreos do not taste like candy corn at all. I’m putting that down as a “con,” but I bet many of you would count that as a “pro.”

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein, 0% vitamin A, 0% calcium, and 4% iron.)

Item: Nabisco Limited Edition Candy Corn Oreo
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 10.5 ounces (297 g)
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Filling tastes like vanilla buttercream frosting. Pleasant yet strong cupcake aroma. Real Candy Corn. Medals shaped like candy corn.
Cons: Candy Corn Oreos do not taste like candy corn. Rotten dog teeth. May be too sweet for some people to handle. The thought of milk being used for dunking.

REVIEW: Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes

Jeff 16 Comments

Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes

Meet the cookie I am sure Guantanamo Bay serves to its residents.

Nabisco’s Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes.

They do have a coconut-ish flavor. They are delightful, if you enjoy getting punched in the stomach. They are not Oreos. They are indeed fudgy, if waxy chocolate is the definition for fudge. They are not creamy or creme-mey. I could leave it at that and you would know all there is to know about these cookies.

I’m not a cookie whore. When I want something sweet, it’s either chewy Starburst (I prefer the Sugus brand if you can find them in Asian markets) or vermouth. However, I do have a soft spot for sandwich cookies. If you place a Nutter Butter or a no-name lemon sandwich cookie in front of me, I’ll gobble them up shamelessly. I’ll even eat the Dolph Lundgren of Oreos, Hydrox.

When I first heard of these “delights,” I was expecting a normal Oreo cookie with coconut flavored cream in the middle, and then dipped in fudge. Like my parents, expectation leads to disappointment.

So what is this thing Nabisco is doing to an Oreo? The cookie is a single Oreo wafer with coconut cream layered on top and then dipped in chocolate “fudge.” It neither resembles nor performs like the beloved sandwich cookie.

It’s as if Outback Steakhouse came out with a new Aussie cheese fries and they were just stupid ‘ol potato chips with bacon bits sprinkled on top with Greek yogurt plopped thoughtlessly. Boooooo!

That’s not Aussie cheese fries and this is no friggin’ Oreo. I want to twist that cookie and selectively deconstruct it with my tongue as I eat each element separately. I want to dunk it in a cold glass of whole milk. I want to pretend that these things are poker chips as I stack them in edible columns. In short, I want an Oreo.

Not even on Earth-Three where the Justice League is villainous, Wonder Woman is even hotter and the Joker is a good guy, would anybody there consider this an Oreo. I was reluctant to write this review because I had to filter my strong dislike to write something coherent.

My first draft went something like this, “I fucking hate these fucking cookies that are not fucking good at fucking all because they fucking suck the fucking dog’s fucking tongue for fucks sake!”

Yeah, I agree with you… it’s a run on sentence.

Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes Packaging

Upon opening the cookies, you are slapped in the face with this fake buttery smell. It was a bit off-putting but my father-in-law and wife seemed not to mind. I shrugged and hesitated to eat one because of the strange smell.

The coconut creme was nutty and tasted artificial. Furthermore, the white stuff was similar to paste and a bit chalky. I couldn’t stomach the so-called chocolate fudge because it was very plastic and had an excessive fake buttery flavor. It’s akin to I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter with its weird, not quite butter smell and flavor.

Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes Closeup

The sole saving grace was the cookie, which was crisp and deep with cocoa flavors.

I was hoping this Oreo would be close to a Mounds candy bar, but the cookie as a whole tasted like an overly-buttery, too-sweet, and nutty mess. I ate a few because I thought maybe the flavors would temper a bit. But nope.

Nabisco also succeeded in creating something with almost every unpleasant texture to mouths everywhere. In fact, if these were soggy, then this depressing cookie would be complete.

I champion Oreos and their foray into assorted flavors, but this specific variety I cannot. My father-in-law devoured them but the poor guy is totally restricted from all things sweet and fatty. Take that for what it’s worth.

I’m all for trying new twists on familiar subjects but more often than not, they fail miserably like the Americanized 1998 Godzilla (who was awesomely killed off in 2004’s Godzilla: Final Wars), but I’m also not for torturing my taste buds. Sorry Nabisco, but we’ll always have the Creamsicle Oreo.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 cookies per serving – 180 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugars, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 11.3 ounce package
Purchased at: Publix
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: The cookie is crisp and definitely chocolate flavored. Cookie whores. Coconut is nutty. Trying to come up with positive things to say about this Oreo variety. American Godzilla getting vaporized by the Godzilla we all know and love. Oreo taking chances on different flavors.
Cons: Waxy chocolate, pasty creme and fake buttery flavor. Trying to find something positive in something terrible. Being restricted from all things sweet and fatty. Earth-Three Lex Luthor sucks.

REVIEW: Nabisco belVita Breakfast Biscuits (Chocolate and Cinnamon Brown Sugar)

Drew 6 Comments

Nabisco belVita Breakfast Biscuits (Chocolate and Cinnamon Brown Sugar)

I’ve prattled on before about how, with two small kids and a propensity to stay up late writing dubiously amusing food reviews, I often don’t have a lot of time in the morning.  You’ve heard me talk about shoveling down a waffle while simultaneously emptying the dishwasher, and doling out Cheerios to a creature who knows “Daddy,” “purple,” and “shoe,” but not “Oh father, if I do not receive more toasted oat cereal immediately, I shall surely perish.”  (We’re working on it.) 
”
So I’m always open to a new breakfast product that promises I can eat it on-the-go without having to actually visit a Dunkin’ Donuts, because then you’re always like, “Do I put a dollar in the tip jar?”  They probably make minimum wage, but really: dude grabbed two donuts off a shelf and threw them in a bag.  It took four seconds, for that I’m going to tip 53 percent?  Then you feel bad and put in the dollar because seriously, you have a steady job at a place where you aren’t forced to wait on impatient, sleep-deprived assholes who are too cheap to tip.  Don’t be that guy.

Where were we?  Oh, on-the-go foods.  As we established, there’s value in something you can eat in the car while someone gleefully belts out “Welcome fame?  He’s ignored.  Action is his reward!” from the back seat.  Nabisco is already in that market with their belVita breakfast biscuits, and now they’ve introduced two new flavors — chocolate and cinnamon brown sugar.  The claim seems to be that these are health conscious and will provide “sustained energy,” perhaps meant as a wholesome alternative to those energy drinks everyone seems to love even though we all know they’re just radioactive goat piss.  The touted nutritional benefits include containing 19 grams of whole grain per serving.  Mostly they just use the word “natural” a lot, as in “chocolate natural flavor with other natural flavor,” which makes me nervous because technically cow patty is natural.  And don’t look now, but the calorie count isn’t minuscule and that’s a decent amount of fat.  Nothing ridiculous, but eating these instead of cereal won’t have you shedding pounds like it’s your job.

I’m intrigued by the fact that these are breakfast biscuits, which I’ve always considered a decidedly British concept.  Our biscuits are light, flaky things slathered in butter, whereas these are hard, thin oval-ish deals that crack and crumble.  Advantage: colonists.  Still, can’t judge a book by its cover.  You have to make certain concessions to the fact that these are supposedly healthy and natural, so if they taste decent while being nutritious and giving me gobs of energy, I’m prepared to call them a success.  Also, as noted in our earlier review, they’re made without high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oils, or artificial flavors or sweeteners.

Nabisco belVita Breakfast Biscuits Cinnamon Brown Sugar

First up is the cinnamon brown sugar biscuits.  As mentioned, they don’t look terribly impressive — the most visually interesting thing is two stalk-of-wheat imprints that subtly blend into the biscuit.  Texture-wise they’re coarse and unyielding, to the point where I’m tempted to use one to smooth down some spackle in our bathroom.  Biting down, it’s solid but not tough to chew.  It is, however, pretty plain.  “Cinnamon” and “brown sugar” is being a bit generous, in that I’m prepared to believe these were transported in a truck that also sometimes delivers Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  It has exactly one hint of cinnamon and no more, and I couldn’t swear in court that there’s any brown sugar in the mix.  Beyond that, the biscuit is fairly flavorless.  It doesn’t taste foul or anything, there’s just no pizazz.  (They’re also dry enough that you’ll want to have a drink handy.)  It’s certainly not doing anything to break down stereotypes about health food, that’s for sure.

Nabisco belVita Breakfast Biscuits Chocolate

Well, maybe the chocolate biscuits will be more promising.  The appearance is identical to the other variety, obviously aside from color.  You can pretty much just go back and read the last paragraph re: texture and consistency, too.  However, I’m pleased to report that the taste is a little better, and the smell is vivid and promising.  Before you get your hopes up, let’s be clear — it’s all relative.  Getting socks for Christmas is still better than getting nothing, and that’s basically what we’re dealing with here.  The chocolate breakfast biscuits are useful, and well intentioned, and under the right light they even look somewhat appealing.  But they’re still socks.

Of the two, the chocolate biscuits have to be declared the winner.  To be sure, it’s a hollow victory, like a fight that’s called after two rounds when one of the boxers remembers his doctor advised against getting repeatedly punched in the face.  Again, certain allowances have to be made for the fact that these are ostensibly nutritious and made with natural ingredients, and that’s reflected in the scores.  They also fill you up for what it’s worth, and that can mean a lot when you’re dieting.  But they aren’t going to be challenging Pop-Tarts, or even cold pizza, for the portable morning food crown anytime soon, and I can’t say I noticed any unusual bursts of energy after eating any of the packages.  And unless you’re all about the natural ingredients, you can certainly find tastier options out there for the same calorie count.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack/4 biscuits – Chocolate – 230 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 4.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 190 milligrams of potassium, 35 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.  Cinnamon Brown Sugar – 230 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of total fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 90 milligrams of potassium, 35 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Nabisco belVita Breakfast Biscuits (Chocolate and Cinnamon Brown Sugar)
Purchased Price: $3.89
Size: 8.8 oz/5 packs
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Chocolate)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Cinnamon Brown Sugar)
Pros: Go whole grain or go home.  Chocolate flavor is decent, though not overwhelming.  Relatively filling.  Easy to eat in transit.  Can be used to sand down rough patches in drywall.
Cons: Deciding whether two donuts merits a tip.  The British concept of “biscuits,” even if theirs did come first.  No noticeable increase in energy.  Not remarkably low in calories or fat.  Cinnamon brown sugar is way too subtle.  Not knowing if it’s pronounced “bell-vyta” or “bell-veeda.”

REVIEW: Nabisco Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls

Marvo 5 Comments

Nabisco Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls

S’MORES!

S’MORES!

HOW COULD THESE NEW HONEY MAID GRAHAMFULS NOT HAVE A S’MORES VARIETY? GOOD GRIEF!

WHO LEFT THE S’MORES OUT? WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO?

I WANT THE HONEY MAID BEE TO STING THE NABISCO EXECUTIVE WHO LEFT OUT S’MORES! AND IF THAT NABISCO EXECUTIVE IS ALLERGIC TO BEE STINGS, THEN SKIP THE BEE STING! INSTEAD OF S’MORES, WE’RE STUCK WITH PEANUT BUTTER, PEANUT BUTTER & CHOCOLATE, AND BANANA VANILLA CREME!

S’MORES!

I’M SORRY…I’m sorry. As you can see by my excessive use of caps and exclamations points, and a Baha Men reference, I’m upset about the varieties Nabisco has chosen for their new Honey Maid Grahamfuls line. I really thought Nabisco would be SMART ENOUGH…

Okay…calm down. Breathe.

I really thought, since they’re using graham crackers, they would have a s’mores flavor. Yes, it’s the obvious choice, but it’s also the yummiest choice. Besides, Nabisco has proven with these horrible peanut butter and chocolate-filled Ritz Crackerfuls that they aren’t good with the PB&C Flavor Factory. Since there’s no s’mores flavor and the other two Grahamful flavors would probably disappoint, I was left with the Banana Vanilla Crème flavor, which ended up not being a bad thing.

Each individually wrapped Grahamful is 4.5 inches long and 1.25 inches wide, and look like they’re ribbed for no one’s pleasure. They’re made with 100 percent whole grain, contain no high fructose corn syrup, have no artificial flavors, and they are quite possibly the second greatest graham cracker snack behind s’mores.

Nabisco Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls Closeup

Yup, you read right. Suck it, cheesecakes with graham cracker crusts and graham Goldfish!

So what makes these Honey Maid Grahamfuls so palatable? Two words: banana powder. I know, it totally sounds like the street name for cocaine that’s grown in the same fields as bananas in Columbia, but it’s the natural flavoring that gives the crème filling its enjoyable mild banana flavor, which complements the crème’s vanilla flavor well. The off-white colored crème wasn’t nearly as sweet as the bright white colored crème in the middle of an Oreo cookie, but that’s a good thing because it didn’t overwhelm the two graham crackers. As for the two graham crackers that make up the bread of this cracker sandwich, they were airier than regular Honey Maid Graham Crackers, but had the same honey and sugar sweetened flavor that we all love and enjoy.

Honey Maid’s Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls were extremely tasty. Although, perhaps I find them delicious because I’m more monkey than human since the amount of body hair I have isn’t much different than a monkey’s.

Now that Nabisco has introduced us to Ritz Crackerfuls and Honey Maid Grahamfuls, I really hope the future brings Premium Saltinefuls, individually wrapped filled crackers with soup-flavored fillings.

And, I hope the future also brings THOSE DAMN HONEY MAID S’MORES GRAHAMFULS!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack – 110 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 10% calcium, and 4% iron.)

Other Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls reviews:
Junk Food Guy

Item: Nabisco Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8 pack
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: A wonderful snack with a pleasant banana/vanilla/graham cracker flavor. Made with 100 percent whole grain. No artificial flavors. Better than Ritz Crackerfuls.
Cons: Sticking one-hit wonder music references in this review. No damn s’mores flavor. Provides only 10 percent daily value of calcium. Getting stung by the Honey Maid Bee.