REVIEW: Lemon Nilla Wafers

Lemon Nilla Wafers

Nilla Wafers are boring. I’d actually say they’re a historically boring cookie.

Here’s the thing, I don’t mind a boring cookie. Sometimes ya just want a boring cookie.

I always have a “boring” snack hidden in the back of my pantry. Whether it’s Ritz or Saltine crackers, a bag of Goldfish, or some good ol’ Nilla Wafers, I have a weird affinity for what I refer to as “desperation snacks.”

You’re probably wondering what the heck I’m even talking about. These are snacks I buy intentionally for when I run out of all the primo stuff and I’m too lazy to get more.

That’s where Nilla Wafers come into play. They’re never my top choice, but when everything else is gone, a few of those can curb a sugar craving. I’m never gonna eat a whole box in one sitting. But then again, with a new lemon flavor on shelves, maybe that’ll change?

Nah, that won’t change.

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When I popped open the foil bag of Lemon Nilla Wafers, there wasn’t much of a departure from what I remember. I’d say there’s a minuscule lemon Pez scent. The smell did resonate with me though.

I never realized how much Nilla Wafers smelled like those little boxes of Barnum’s Animal Crackers. It makes sense since they’re both Nabisco staples, I just never noticed. It really brought back fond childhood memories.

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Nilla Wafers always have a texture that makes them seem borderline stale even when they’re fresh. These were no different. I’ve always preferred to let them melt in my mouth.

They didn’t taste far off from the originals. There’s a hint of lemon flavor at best. As a fan of lemon desserts, I was disappointed, but in terms of Nilla Wafers I actually think I prefer these. I could definitely see myself eating more of them at once, but they’d still fall into my desperation snack category.

Just for fun, I used Mystery Oreo creme to make Lemon Nilla Wafer Sandwiches.

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Turns out, the Lemon Nilla Wafer worked better with the (my dark horse guess) Fruity Pebbles Treat-flavored creme than the chocolate Oreo cookie did. Take note, Nabisco.

All in all, I’d say Lemon Nilla Wafers make a strong case for “back of the pantry desperation” snack. That’s if I don’t use them all to make more sandwich cookies first.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 wafers – 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 11 oz. box
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 6 out of 10 (8 out of 10 with Mystery Oreo creme)
Pros: One of the all time great “desperation snacks.” Melt in your mouth. Better than the originals. Excellent Mystery Oreo cookie substitute. Animal Cracker nostalgia.
Cons: Lemon is faint at best. Better supporting player than standalone cookie. No actual lemon in the ingredients. A little pricey.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Nutmeg & Cinnamon Triscuit Crackers

Limited Edition Nutmeg  Cinnamon Triscuit Crackers

I’ve got to admit, I only eat Triscuit once or twice a year.

My family has a tradition at holiday gatherings to make one of the simplest yet most delicious appetizers you’ll ever try. A block of Philadelphia cream cheese covered with a jar of salsa and served with Triscuit. I know, it might sound kind of bizarre, but don’t dog it ’til you’ve tried it cause it’s damn delicious. I love Triscuit in this setting, they’re perfect. Better than Wheat Thins or any other chip when combined with this dip, but I don’t ever buy them for myself.

Popcorn, Cheez-Its, Doritos – these things all find their way into my snack cabinet, but I’ve never felt compelled to buy the hard little squares of shredded wheat on my own…until now. My inner spice sense began tingling the second I saw the new and autumn-kissed Nutmeg & Cinnamon Triscuit.

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The crackers look no different than your average Triscuit – square, brown, and wheat-y. The aroma is similarly familiar – wheat with a hint of lingering sweetness.

The flavor, though, is surprisingly soft and very good. The overwhelming feeling I get when biting into these crackers is warmth. The presence of the spice doesn’t smack you over the face with artificiality or some kind of sweet pumpkin spice foil – they simply elevate the flavor of the wheat and add a wonderful spicy flourish to the already established successful profile.

Cinnamon and nutmeg are definitely the key players in the mix, but I also get a nice tingle of ginger. Nothing about the flavor is harsh and, shockingly, the crackers aren’t sweet either. In fact, they aren’t even really salty, less so than the original. Being devoid of sweet and salty would imply that they’re bland, but the spices make up for it.

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Since the flavor comes off as more of a warm feeling than bold tongue-tingling taste, they lend themselves very well to different applications. Smeared with some cream cheese? Awesome. Topped with peanut butter? Delicious. Garnished with a bit of medium cheddar? Divine. The spices don’t bully their way to the forefront of the experience and yet they stay there in the background like lovely jazz in a cozy coffee shop – never taking over the conversation, but elevating the atmosphere immensely.

If you’re a Triscuit fan and are looking for a slight festive twist on something you already love – look no further than Nutmeg & Cinnamon. They’re subtly complex and fitting for your next holiday gathering, and hey, maybe even try topping them with cream cheese and salsa – you might be pleasantly surprised.

(Nutrition Facts – 6 crackers – 120 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 8.5 oz. box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Nice subtle but complex blend of cinnamon and nutmeg. Hints of ginger. Not sweet. Flavors work well with variety of toppings.
Cons: A Triscuit can only be so good. They will never be Cheez-Its or Sweetos

REVIEW: Limited Edition Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits

Limited Edition Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits

Is it just me, or have the food companies gotten lazy with their limited-edition offerings?

The big holiday flavors this year appear to be hot cocoa and gingerbread. For hot cocoa, all you do is take chocolate – usually an already existing flavor – and add marshmallows. It doesn’t even have to be hot, yet it still qualifies as hot cocoa.

Gingerbread is a little more innovative, but not much. It seems like most brands that have gingerbread also have pumpkin spice. Just swap out the pumpkin for molasses (if it even had pumpkin in the first place), add some ginger (if it didn’t already have some), and boom. Gingerbread.

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Unfortunately, these Limited Edition Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits are another lazy product. To me, they taste just like the pumpkin spice variety. (In fairness, I did not compare them side by side.)

They have a vague spiciness, and if I concentrate, I can taste the ginger. But I don’t taste molasses, even though it’s in the ingredients list.

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Here’s the problem I see: Gingerbread is a cookie, right? And breakfast biscuits are basically cookies, right? It shouldn’t be hard to make a cookie taste like a cookie. Yet these don’t taste like gingerbread.

I understand that it might not be practical to put in too much molasses. Gram for gram, these biscuits have less sugar than a lot of cereals, and if they put in molasses, it might exceed their desired sugar count—they would switch from being breakfast biscuits to being dessert biscuits. Plus, molasses is one of those weird ingredients with a distinctive, almost pungent, odor.

But at the very least, they could have stepped up their game with the spices. Ginger is the only spice mentioned by name in the ingredients, and the biscuits would have benefitted from actual cinnamon, nutmeg, and/or clove -— not just whatever is in “natural flavor.”

If these were simply marketed as a new belVita flavor that is not gingerbread, I would give them a 7 or 8. They have a pleasant oaty flavor and a satisfying crispness. They might not be enough as a meal, but they’re fulfilling as a snack. You get that preschool nostalgia of eating graham crackers, yet feel like an adult because they’re not actually graham crackers. I like ’em.

But since they call themselves gingerbread, they set a higher standard —- a standard they fail to reach.

(Nutrition Facts – 4 biscuits (50 grams) – 230 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 95 milligrams of potassium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8.8 oz. box (5 packs)
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Cute packaging. A tasty, satisfying biscuit. You can taste the ginger if you concentrate. Pretending cookies are breakfast.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like gingerbread. Lazy limited edition foods.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Oreo Cookies

Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Oreo Cookies 1

The Oreo factory has been cranking out limited edition flavors like a proliferative hen laying her eggs. The latest to come out of the Mondelez coop is the Hot Cocoa Oreo. I thought this was a curious move as they recently launched their Hot Cocoa Mix – maybe they’re running out of ideas.

I also thought it was odd that there was a new packaging bubble on the front stating that it’s “Always Made With Real Cocoa.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve never thought about it being/not being made with real cocoa. It has always been in its own league – dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate, and Oreo. Oreosities (oreo + curiosities!) aside, I thought this latest flavor was a nice break from all the pumpkinundation, caramel apple, and gingerbread flavors.

Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Oreo Cookies 2

Lifting the flap, they looked and smelled like regular Oreo cookies. The only difference was the crème which was half chocolate and half regular. Of course, it’s never as pretty in real life as it is on the outside packaging shot, but, whatever, when it comes to food aesthetics – I always say that it’s all going to the same place (my stomach).

I tried it in multiple ways — whole sandwich form, then layer-by-layer (cookie, regular crème, chocolate crème then cookie), then dunked in milk (per standard Oreo protocol!), and finally compared it with the Oreo Hot Cocoa Mix.

I thought it tasted best whole because I experienced more of the hot cocoa, or what I interpreted as such because of the subtle marshmallow flavor. Like a regular Oreo, the last taste in your mouth is still the chocolate cookie, but the marshmallow was definitely there.

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When eaten layer-by-layer, it was like a disappointing peek behind the curtain of magic. They just replaced half of the regular crème with some chocolate crème, which I was able to peel away. But, it’s surprising to find the marshmallow flavor was actually coming from the chocolate crème. My least favorite combination was the cookie dunked in milk because the marshmallow flavor was completely washed out, which made it taste like a regular Oreo.

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Finally, I compared it with the Oreo Hot Cocoa Mix. Depending on how you look at it, it could be a good or bad thing that they taste nothing alike. Dipping the cookie into the hot chocolate also didn’t do much; it was a chocolate cookie wash. But, I thought the cookies were better than the drink.

Even though this new flavor is very subtle, I think subtlety is an art! Plus, I don’t know how else they would’ve done a better job capturing hot cocoa experience – except to make something pie in the sky like a self-heating Oreo or something. These still don’t dethrone my favorite limited edition flavor (Reese’s), but it’s still a tasty addition.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 10.7 oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Nice break from all the pumpkinundation, caramel apple, and gingerbread products. Marshmallow! Doesn’t taste like the Oreo Hot Cocoa Mix.
Cons: Subtle flavor gets drowned out if dunked in milk. I don’t know how else they could’ve better captured hot cocoa since a self-heating Oreo doesn’t exist.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Mystery Oreo Cookies

Limited Edition Mystery Oreo Cookies

There are many mysteries that surround the Limited Edition Mystery Oreo Cookies that go beyond the unknown flavor of its creme.

For example, why does it come in a 15.25-ounce package instead of the 12.7 ounce one we now always see with limited edition varieties?

Also, why can Oreo offer $50,000 to one randomly selected grand prize winner and $10,000 to five first-place winners who guess the flavor, but have no money to give out to those of us who were freaked out about Peeps Oreo turning our poop a weird color?

The limited edition snack has chocolate wafers and a food dye-less creme, but the smell that comes out of the packaging is colorful, bright, and familiar. It smells like Fruity Pebbles, which is weird because why would Oreo again offer a fruity cereal flavor a year after Fruity Crisp Oreo. It’s not much of a mystery if it’s easy to guess for eaters.

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With the first several cookies, I only ate the creme and left behind a wake of discarded chocolate wafers. The mystery creme also tastes like Fruity Pebbles, and at times like Froot Loops. But as I licked, ate, and rubbed it over my tongue, an orange and milk flavor stood out. So it got me wondering whether it could be Orange Creamsicle-flavored, which would also be a little odd because there was a Creamsicle Oreo back in 2011. Either way, the mystery creme tastes like it’s been done before.

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While it saddens me that this Mystery Oreo could be a recycled flavor, I do enjoy the creme. But it’s hyper sweet and potent, so much so that it negates the chocolate wafer’s flavor whenever I eat a cookie whole. That’s surprising since a regular complaint I’ve had with several Oreo varieties is how the wafer dampens the creme’s flavor. For some, I imagine the creme will be way too sweet.

I loved Fruity Crisp Oreo, so it’s not surprising that I like these. I also love the idea of having a Mystery Oreo, so I hope there’s a new one every year. But, next year, please don’t have a mystery flavor that tastes like a previous Oreo, those lazy bastards.

Oh, one last mystery about these cookies.

Why is Limited Edition Mystery Oreo wearing white after Labor Day?

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 15.25 oz. package
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes and smells like Fruity Pebbles. Mystery flavors. Available in a size larger than other limited edition flavors.
Cons: Tastes and smells like Fruity Crisp Oreo. Creme might be too sweet for some. Mystery flavor spoilers when you visit your favorite junk food sites. Wearing white after Labor Day.