Tag: Newtons

At a quick glance, these Banana Drizzled With Dark Fudge Newtons Fruit Thins look like Keebler Fudge Stripes cookies that were made by a drunk Keebler elf who turned to the bottle to help him cope with the fact that he works and lives in the same tree.

Or maybe these Banana Drizzled With Dark Fudge Newtons Fruit Thins were made by a former Keebler elf who got tired of squeezing the straight lines of fudge on each Keebler Fudge Stripes cookie.

All right, no elves produced these crispy cookies and they were made by a multi-million dollar machine in a huge factory somewhere. But, damn, I wish I was your lover…oh sorry, that Sophie B. Hawkins song has been showing up a lot in my 90s Pandora station. I meant to say, damn, that multi-million dollar machine makes one mean cookie.

I don’t want to brag, but when Nabisco first introduced their Newtons Fruit Thins, I knew they would put out a banana version of their crispy cookie. Although, to be honest, I thought they would’ve paired the fruit with nuts and not dark fudge.

I mean, just imagine a banana with some nuts. Don’t you think that’s a great combination? It totally makes sense. And I thought my idea was better, but the more I ate these Newtons Fruit Thins the more I realized how stupid my banana and nut cookie idea was.

The dark fudge drizzle is what makes these light and crispy cookies so wonderful. Its mild sweetness complements the mild flavor of the cookie with dried banana pieces baked in. It’s a perfect balance that’s extremely toothsome. As a banana lover, I’m glad the fudge doesn’t overwhelm the banana and I’m also happy Nabisco didn’t go all fudge crazy and decide to dip these cookies completely into fudge, much like their Oreo Fudge Cremes.

However, at times, I thought the banana and fudge combination tasted much like a graham cracker, which I’m not sure is a bad thing.

While the fudge drizzle helps these cookies taste awesome, they also cause the cookies stick together in the packaging and make these Newtons Fruit Thins slightly less wholesome than their non-drizzled brethren. These Banana Drizzled With Dark Fudge Newtons Fruit Thins are made with real fruit and whole grains just like all the other Newtons Fruit Thins, but, thanks to the dark fudge, it has ten more calories, a gram more of saturated fat, and a gram more of sugar than the non-drizzled varieties.

Also, while I’m in the middle of pointing fingers at the fudge drizzle, I’d like to note that a package of these cookies weighs in at 8.75 ounces, while a package of the non-drizzled Newtons Fruit Thins is 10.5 ounces. So we’re getting less cookies. Cookie Monster would not approve.

However, those are minor issues that will be forgotten once you start stuffing your maw with these delicious Banana Drizzled With Dark Fudge Newtons Fruit Thins.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 cookies – 150 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 100 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Banana Drizzled With Dark Fudge Newtons Fruit Thins
Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 8.75 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: These are awesome crispy cookies. Wonderful balance of banana and fudge. Fudge and banana combo is a much better idea than my banana and nut combo. Best tasting Newtons Fruit Thins flavor (thanks fudge). Contains whole grain and real fruit.
Cons: Slightly worse for you than regular Newtons Fruit Thins. No significant benefits from real fruit it contains. Less cookies than non-drizzled Newtons Fruit Thins. Fudge causes the cookies to stick together.

I was a weird kid when it came to food. You know how some young people have old souls or they’re mature for their age. Well, I had mature tastebuds. In other words, I ate foods kids wouldn’t eat, but old folks would.

Every week, our hair-netted school cafeteria workers would put a trio of prunes covered with heavy syrup on our green green gasoline lunch trays in order to meet FDA nutritional guidelines for school lunches. While those prunes helped the cafeteria food meet nutrition standards, they did not meet the taste standards of my fellow classmates.

While everyone else dumped their prunes into the large food waste bins designated to become pig slop, I ate them. And I liked them. I even once asked my fellow classmates if I could have their prunes, but later learned the consequences of eating too many prunes and I never wore those brown corduroy Sears Toughskins pants again.

But I still eat prunes…on occasion…in moderation. Not only did I eat and enjoy prunes at a young age, I also liked Fig Newtons.

While everyone else would ask their parents for Oreo cookies, chocolate chip cookies, or whatever the Keebler elves made with magic, I would sneak into the shopping cart some chewy Fig Newtons. Sure, the girls in my class said I was weird and the boys would tease me about my Fig Newtons, but I didn’t care because they were yummy in my tummy.

I was also teased about the fact that I read many of the original Nancy Drew Mystery Stories.

Over the years Nabisco has developed a few other fruit Newtons, like Strawberry and Raspberry Newtons, but for some strange reason, I prefer the fig version over them. The latest fruits to be turned into chewy Newtons cookies are peaches and apricots.

The new Sweet Peach & Apricot Newtons aren’t just any Newtons, they’re made with 100 percent whole grain, which means their texture is going to be a little weird compared with regular Newtons. Each serving provides five grams of whole grain and three grams of fiber. Thanks, whole grain! But their texture isn’t as cakey as regular Newtons and they’re also a bit drier. Thanks, whole grain!

One thing I can’t blame the whole grain for is how odd these Sweet Peach & Apricot Newtons taste. Despite them being made with real fruit, there’s something slightly artificial tasting about them. The apricot puree used to create the filling tastes much like the dried apricot you’d find next to the dried prunes at your local grocery store, but the peach puree in it isn’t so peachy. It tastes similar to peach candy I’ve had which used artificial flavors. The artificialness is surprising because according to the upper right corner of the packaging, it’s made with “Natural Flavor with Other Natural Flavor.”

Thanks to their flavor and texture, the Sweet Peach & Apricot Newtons are my least favorite chewy Newton cookie by far.

They’re weird.

They’re weirder than I was in grade school.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 100 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 45 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein, and 2% iron.)

*made with partially hydrogenated oil

Item: Nabisco Sweet Peach & Apricot Newtons
Price: $3.59 (on sale)
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Made with whole grain. Made with real fruit. Decent source of dietary fiber. Prunes. Fig Newtons. Nancy Drew Mystery Stories.
Cons: Odd flavor. Whole grain texture. My least favorite Newtons. Artificial tasting peach flavor. Made with partially hydrogenated oil. Being teased for being a nerd. Eating too many prunes.

People love Nabisco Newtons Fruit Thins.

Actually, I don’t know how accurate that statement is because I’m basing it on the 60+ positive comments attached to our news post about them last year.

Those commenters sounded so excited about them that I’m surprised every single one of those comments weren’t all in caps and included excessive exclamation points!!!!!!! Here are some words they used to describe the cookies and how often they showed up.

The word “love” was used in 14 comments, “delicious” was used four times, “great” was used three times, “wonderful” was used three times, “awesome” was used four times, “good” was used four times, “can’t stop eating” was used three times, “new favorite” was used three times, “addictive” was used three times, “yummy” was used three times, and “yummola” was used once.

Despite all those positive adjectives and praise, I had yet to buy any Newtons Fruit Thins flavor until I picked up the newest varieties — Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp.

If you’re later than me to the Newtons Fruit Thins party, these aren’t like the soft, cake-like Newtons you might be used to. These are crispy cookies with bits of real fruit baked into them. But you shouldn’t consider Newtons Fruit Thins to be health food because the fruit in them provides no real nutritional benefits. Instead, you should think of them as a slightly healthier cookie substitute for other popular Nabisco cookies.

Let’s compare.

Three Chips Ahoy! cookies have 160 calories, 8 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of fiber, and 11 grams of sugar. Three Oreo cookies have 160 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of fiber, and 14 grams of sugar. But, three Apple Cinnamon Oat Newtons Fruit Thins have 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 1 gram of fiber, and 8 grams of sugar.

Oh, but nutrition facts aren’t the only difference. If high fructose corn syrup bothers you like the poor ratings of NBC’s Thursday night comedies bother me, then you’ll be happy to know Newtons Fruit Thins don’t have any, which can’t be said of the other two.

The aromas that wafted out from the Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp Newtons Fruit Thins packages made me wish Renuzit made air freshener cones that smelled as pleasant. Each cookie is shaped like a pastie and is two and a half inches in diameter, which is slightly bigger than a Chips Ahoy! cookie and significantly smaller than any clock that has hung from Flavor Flav’s neck.

With these cookies there are two different textures, the crunchiness of the oat cookie and the chewiness from either the dried lemon peel or dried apple baked into them. However, some of the cookies had dried lemon peel bits that were unpleasantly tough. My molars did not like. Even though the fruit pieces weren’t evenly distributed throughout the cookie, I could taste fruit in every bite. The Lemon Crisp had a pleasant citrus flavor that’s more sweet than tart, while the Apple Cinnamon Oat had a wonderful balance of fruit and spice, but both cookies don’t have an overwhelming flavor or sweetness.

Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp Newtons Fruit Thins are delightful…or in the words of commenters they’re delicious, great, wonderful, awesome, good, addictive, and yummy cookies that I can’t stop eating because I love them and they’re my new favorite cookie. Yummola.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 cookies – 140 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 45 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 7 or 8 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Newtons Fruit Thins (Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp)
Price: $3.59 (on sale)
Size: 10.5 ounces/30 cookies
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Apple Cinnamon Oat)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Lemon Crisp)
Pros: Delightful. Made with real fruit. Not overwhelmingly sweet. Slightly healthier than popular Nabisco cookies. Pleasant aroma. Crunchy oat cookie. 8 whole grains per serving. Fruit flavor in every bite.
Cons: Some dried lemon peel pieces were a bit hard. The word “yummola.” Ratings of NBC’s Thursday night comedies. Blog comments all in caps. There aren’t any Renuzit baked goods air fresheners.

I’m calling the Nabisco Newtons Fruit Crisps the Pop-Tarts nano because they look like a skinnier and smaller version of an unfrosted Kellogg’s Pop-Tart, much like the iPod nano is a skinnier and smaller version of the iPod classic. Actually, the Newtons Fruit Crisps and the iPod nano are the same size at 3.5 inches long and 1.5 inches wide. However, unlike the iPod nano which comes in a pride flag of colors, the Newtons Fruit Crisps only come in two flavors: Mixed Berry and Apple Cinnamon.

Unlike Pop-Tarts, which need to be toasted in order to be crispy, these Fruit Crisps were crunchy crumbalistic right out of the box, although perhaps a little too crumbalistic, which makes using a plate necessary, unless you’re fond of creatures that enjoy eating stuff off of the floor, like cockroaches, rats and a drunk David Hasselhoff. The filling inside each crisp is made with real fruit in a puree form, but despite the use of real fruit, the flavors weren’t very strong in either of them. I don’t know if that was because of the somewhat low amount of sugar in each bar or because the outer shell has the ability to weaken taste, like kryptonite does to Superman or Sanrio products does to my machismo.

Both flavors were decent. The Apple Cinnamon one had a flavor similar to what I imagine a diet apple pie tastes like, while the mixed berry, which contained blueberry, raspberry, strawberry, and blackberry puree, tasted like a certain Pop-Tarts flavor that I couldn’t put my finger on, but will probably remember months from now when I’m in the shower and these Fruit Crisps are discontinued.

According to the box, each pack of the Newtons Fruit Crisps has 100 calories, which is the magic number many snack companies have been using to promote appropriate portion sizes and calorie control. It’s also a number I tend to ignore because as someone in peak physical shape and has a metabolism that would make an 18-year-old cry, I can burn 100 calories by brushing my teeth or typing one of the many run-on sentences I have a habit of creating.

Nah! Who am I kidding? The only thing I can do in my “peak physical shape” is change the channel and then take a nap. I wonder how many calories changing a channel takes?

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – Apple Cinnamon – 100 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 20 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 8 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein, 15% calcium, and 4% iron. Mixed Berry – 100 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 20 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 8 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein, 15% calcium, and 4% iron.)

(Editor’s Note: The good folks at Snackerrific also reviewed the Newtons Fruit Crisps.)

Item: Nabisco Newtons Fruit Crisps
Price: $3.50 each
Size: 8 pack
Purchased at: Star Market
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent taste. Crunchy without the need for a toaster. 100 calories per pack. No trans or saturated fat. Made with real fruit, although in puree form. Watching David Hasselhoff eat a cheeseburger on the floor. My poor physical shape.
Cons: Small in size. Flavors seemed muted. Sanrio products. Need a plate to eat them. Eating an iPod nano. Watching David Hasselhoff eat a cheeseburger on the floor.