Tag: Pringles

(Editor’s Note: Congratulations to Jim from Snooze Button Dreams for winning this month’s prize drawing for a $15 iTunes Gift Card. Thank you to all of you who participated.

If you didn’t win this time, maybe you’ll have better luck with April’s prize drawing. However, I have to tell you that next month’s prize is going to suck, compared to the iTunes Gift Card.

Now here’s today’s review. Enjoy.)

I’m not good with things that require knowledge.

For example, the game show Jeopardy. I totally suck at it. If I had to play against Ken Jennings, he would pull me across his lap, pull my pants down, and spank me badly. Also, I honestly believe that Alex Trebek’s old mustache knows waaay more than me.

Then there’s Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? If Regis Philbin was still hosting, he’d be yelling at me. Not the crazy, happy “You just won $32,000!” yelling that he usually does, more like “You are a moron!” yelling.

Oh, and let’s not forget The Weakest Link. If I ended up on that show, I would totally be Anne Robinson’s bitch.

Sure, I could acquire knowledge through such things as books, the Internet, newspapers, magazines, and television, but books are for nerds, the Internet is for porn, newspapers are for lining bird cages, I only pick up magazines for the pictures, and my brain shuts off when watching television.

However, recently I came across Pringles Prints. They look and taste like regular Pringles, except on each chip there’s a trivia question and its answer printed with blue ink (which doesn’t affect the taste).

Holy crap! I can learn from one of my favorite all-time snacks?

Why couldn’t they have done this for the Russian class I failed in college? Nyet! Nyet! Nyet!

Despite being excited about finding a way to acquire knowledge through Pringles, I was disappointed that I happened to have picked up the Daytona 500 edition of Pringles Prints.

Now, if there was a topic that I wouldn’t want to know anything about, it would be the Daytona 500. No offense to you NASCAR fans out there, but I’m more of a baseball, college basketball, women’s figure skating, and women’s bodybuilding kind-of-guy.

So instead of questions about the Daytona 500, I wish on these Pringles Prints there were questions and answers that many people want to know, like:

1. What is the Gaian Theory?
2. Who are the members of the G-G-G-G-Unit?
3. What happened to Tiffany-Amber Thiessen’s career?
4. Has there been any moment this year that Anna Nicole Smith hasn’t been drunk?
5. Where do babies come from?

If they had Pringles Prints like that, I believe becoming a member of Mensa is definitely in my future, or at least, maybe I’ll get my ass kicked less in Trivial Pursuit.

---

Item: Pringles Prints: Daytona 500
Purchase Price: $1.13
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: It’s original Pringles-flavored and you can’t go wrong with that. Perfect for NASCAR fans.
Cons: Questions were on a topic I’m not interested in learning. Hand got stuck in Pringles can…again. Stupid can!

A couple months ago, I tried the limited edition Ketchup Pringles, which I purchased from the national, small-business destroying superstore behemoth I sometimes shop at. I really enjoyed them, although this is from someone who thinks ketchup goes great with anything.

While watching a Pimp My Ride marathon and mowing down the can of Ketchup Pringles in one sitting, I wondered if Pringles was going to come out other limited flavors. Fast-forward a few months and on the shelf at the national grocery store chain I shop at, I discovered Salt and Pepper Pringles.

To describe the experience of eating Salt and Pepper Pringles, I have decided to express it in rhyme. Or to be more exact, take someone else’s rhymes, change a few words, and make them my own rhymes.

So I give you Salt ‘n Pepa’s “Push It,” with a few of my changes in the lyrics.

S-S-Salt and Pepa Pringles are here and it’s in effect.
Want you to try it babe,
Tryin’ it by day then at night you’ll have some regret.
C’mon Pringle, you sure like to show that you know,
how to make messed up chips to eat during a TV show.

Now salt and pepa it

Ah, salt it – salt it good
Ah, pepa it – pepa it real good
Ah, salt it – salt it good
Ah, pepa it – p-pepa it real good

Hey!
Eeew!
Salt and pepa it good!

Oooh, baby, baby.
Baby, baby.
Oooh, baby, baby.
Baby, baby.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby-pop.
Yeah, you come here, take way these chips.
Better make it fast or else I’m gonna get pissed.
Can’t you taste too much salt and pepa like I wish you would?
Now salt and pepa it.

Salt it good.
P-pepa it real good.

Item: Salt and Pepper Pringles Potato Chips
Purchase Price: $1.50 (on sale)
Rating: 2 out of 10
Pros: Got to be “Weird Al” Yankovic for a few minutes.
Cons: Too much salt. Too much pepper. Would you like some potato chips with your salt and pepper?