Tag: Soda

Sarsi

Marvo 28 Comments

I’m a sucker for packaged foreign foods, like Mario is a sucker for gold coins and princesses who always get captured. It’s like I’m a less adventurous Anthony Bourdain, not willing to consume things that produces bodily fluids or things that are still alive.

I’m not sure why I get a kick out of packaged foreign foods. Perhaps it’s because they don’t have any English on them or because they’re measured in metric units or because I have a product review blog and am willing to stick almost anything into my mouth for reader approval. Whatever the reason, I was excited when I ran into this mysterious bottle of Sarsi at my local Filipino market in the refrigerated cases among the 20-ounce bottles of Pepsi and Coke.

At first, because it was stocked next to the cola juggernauts, I thought it was the Filipino equivalent of Pepsi and Coke, but after prying off the non-twist bottle cap and taking a sip of it, I was surprised to find out that it’s a root beer, albeit a flat tasting root beer that wasn’t very sweet.

According to Wikipedia, Sarsi is the number one root beer in the Philippines, outselling common American brands like Barq’s and Mug root beers. While the initial taste of Sarsi was like root beer, its aftertaste wasn’t as pleasant. If Barq’s Root Beer bites, then Sarsi grabs your hair, shoves your face into mud, and uses your tongue as a bulldozer. Its aftertaste was very earthy and it reminded me of the disgusting herbal toothpaste from Thailand I reviewed a few weeks ago.

I may not like the taste of Sarsi, but I do love the fact that it comes in a thick glass bottle that I can use to pretend I’m living in the 1950s with my leather jacket and pack of smokes rolled up in my t-shirt sleeve, and whenever the Sharks come by, I’ll shatter the bottle, turn it into shiv, and stab my own tongue with it, which would probably result in a taste in my mouth that is equal to or greater than Sarsi’s aftertaste. Although the bottle looks tall and would make a great shiv, it doesn’t hold a lot of liquid. If my metric conversion is correct, 240 mL is roughly around eight ounces, which is less than a can of soda, but my tongue can only tolerate those eight ounces of Sarsi.

Item: Sarsi
Price: $1.50
Size: 240 mL
Purchased at: A Filipino market
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: #1 root beer in the Philippines. No High Fructose Corn Syrup. Glass bottle makes a great shiv. Trying foreign products.
Cons: Flat root beer flavor. Not very sweet. Need a bottle opener or James Bond villain Jaws to open it. Only 240 mL. Aftertaste is earthy and is like shitty herbal toothpaste.

Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy

Marvo 22 Comments

I know what you’re thinking to yourself. Who is this Lizzy? Why is she fizzy? And why can’t Lizzy take some Tums to stop making her fizzy? I could search the internet through Google, Wikipedia, or the Fizzy Lizzy website, but that would make me dizzy. However, by looking at the image on the label that probably wasn’t even modeled after Lizzy, I can figure out many things about her.

First off, Lizzy looks like she enjoys dressing like she’s from the 1920s in long sleeves and a long skirt, although that plunging neckline makes it a little more contemporary. Maybe she wears long sleeves and a long skirt because she’s “all-natural,” just like her Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy drink, which just consists of 37 percent triple-filtered carbonated water and 63 percent pineapple juice concentrate.

The next thing I noticed about Lizzy from the graphics on the bottle is that she either has a tree branch for a tail or likes to fart plants. This is good because it shows that she cares about the environment and loves nature, which she should since 100 percent of her Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy comes from nature.

(Editor’s Note: I’m pretty sure this is definitely the first AND last time Fizzy Lizzy will ever send me a product to review. Actually, I’m surprised companies keep sending us stuff.)

Another item I noticed about Lizzy from looking at the artwork on the label is that she not only loves 1920s fashion, but she also loves the original Charlie’s Angels, especially Kate Jackson, because she’s totally rocking the sexy Sabrina Duncan hairstyle. Finally, I noticed Lizzy demands perfection. I can tell this by the way she has her hands on her hips like a stern mother or a leather-clad, whip-wielding dominatrix. This perfection also shows in the quality of the Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy.

When I opened up the bottle, it smelled like canned pineapple juice, but its taste was not as overwhelming as pineapple juice. It was very easy to drink because it wasn’t carbonated as I thought it would be. I enjoyed it very much and it is probably the best and tastiest way to get 100% of your Vitamin C in a fizzy pineapple juice form, although before drinking it I had to do a little dance with it to mix the juice which had settled to the bottom, which bothered me because I’m nobody’s monkey, despite how hairy I am.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 ounces – 90 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% Vitamin C, and 1 rhyming name.)

Item: Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy
Price: FREE (Retails for $1.49 – $1.99)
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Given by Fizzy Lizzy…probably for the last time.
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty and easy to drink. Sweet, but not too sweet. Pineapple wasn’t overwhelming. Low fat. Low calorie. No added sugars. The best and tastiest way to get 100% of your Vitamin C in a fizzy pineapple juice form. Name rhymes (I’m a sucker for rhymes). Sabrina Duncan.
Cons: Having to shake its hips before placing it on my lips. Twist top was difficult to take off or I’m a total wuss. Not easily available. Pineapple may not be a fruit people are willing to drink without the colada. My poor characterization of Lizzy through the artwork on the bottle.

REVIEW: Pepsi Blue Hawaii

Marvo 29 Comments

Last summer, Pepsi in Japan introduced the very limited edition Pepsi Ice Cucumber, which sold out in less than a month and helped Japan maintain their title of Country Most Likely Not To Use Focus Groups. This summer, they gave the finger to focus groups again and released the limited-edition, Japan-only, Pepsi Blue Hawaii.

The beverage is based on the Blue Hawaii cocktail, which is made of rum, pineapple juice, blue Curacao, sweet and sour mix, and sometimes vodka. Despite living in Hawaii and being of drinking age for the past decade, I have yet to consume a Blue Hawaii, because I’m allergic to cocktail umbrellas and drinks that make me look like a drunk sorority girl ready to flash her boobs when a video camera and Joe Francis come by.

The color of the Pepsi Blue Hawaii could best be described as Smurf-like, which makes sense since the idea of the Pepsi Blue Hawaii made me feel the same way I feel about the future Smurfs movie — it’s probably going to suck, but it has a certain allure to it that tickles my smurfs. After tasting it, I have to say that the Pepsi Blue Hawaii isn’t so smurftastic, but it is just a little smurfy.

The pineapple and lemon flavor combination was really smurfing sweet and artificial, especially the pineapple. I really didn’t enjoy it at first, but just like my experience with the Pepsi Ice Cucumber, I got used to its flavor and somewhat enjoyed it. I think its fruity flavor would make it a smurftastic mixer if you want to get totally smurfed off of something blue and can get your hands on some Pepsi Blue Hawaii.

I’m not sure what the smurf is so mutha smurfing appealing to my taste buds with the Pepsi Blue Hawaii, but for some smurfing reason, companies in Japan seem to know how to make smurfing products that sound and look unsmurfy, but in the end, turn out to be kind of smurfy. So I look forward to a new mutha smurfing flavor next summer from Pepsi in Japan. My money is on Pepsi Ice Carrot or Cherry Blossom Pepsi.

(Editor’s Note: TIB would like to thank reader Fury for sending a bottle of Pepsi Blue Hawaii from Japan, along with a bunch of other goodies to review. Domo arigato gozaimasu!)

Item: Pepsi Blue Hawaii
Price: FREE (only available in Japan)
Purchased at: Received from TIB reader Fury
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Just a little smurfy. Comes in a Smurf color. After a few sips, I got used to the flavor and somewhat enjoyed it. Might make a good mixer. Using focus groups. Getting my smurfs tickled.
Cons: Pineapple and lemon flavor was smurfing sweet and artificial. Didn’t like the flavor at first. Available only in Japan. Limited edition. Drinks that make me look like a drunk sorority girl. Cocktail umbrellas.

REVIEW: Mountain Dew Dewmocracy Flavors (SuperNova, Revolution, and Voltage)

Marvo 31 Comments

Read a review of the 2010 DEWmocracy flavors here.

Imagine having the power to make a difference and to change the world in some way. Some of you might be saying that one person can’t make a difference, but I’m here to tell you that one person can, but if you recruit more people, it’s a whole lot easier and if you’re sneaky enough, you might not need to do anything at all and make all those people you recruited do all the work. But if you don’t want to go through that trouble, you can make a difference by voting…for a sugary, carbonated, and caffeinated beverage.

Welcome to Dewmocracy.

Mountain Dew is letting the people decide the new Dew among three flavors: SuperNova, Revolution, and Voltage. Of course, this is slightly retarded since all three flavors are being produced and sold in stores, so technically they are ALL already new. Someone might say that Dewmocracy is about choosing the new permanent Dew flavor, and I would say to them that, it maybe permanent, but technically the winner won’t be new.

The Dewmocracy website, where you can vote for your favorite flavor, keeps track of the votes throughout the United States by state. The whole thing reminds me of all the CNN news coverage and graphics on Election Night, except without Wolf Blitzer’s beard to scare me. Just like American Idol, I’m sure more people will vote in this election than the upcoming U.S. presidential election. Some people might say that elections like these are teaching children the importance of voting. I say nay to those people, for I believe that the elections for Dewmocracy and American Idol teach the importance of voting…for things that don’t fucking matter.

I felt Revolution was the worst, SuperNova was the best, and Voltage was the nerd with the hairy chest. Looking at the Dewmocracy website, my vote for Mountain Dew SuperNova has helped it gain 3% of the vote in my state of Hawaii, which means I am supporting the Ralph Nader of Mountain Dew.

None of the Dewmocracy flavors were repulsive and each of them were sweeter than all the Care Bears holding hands while skipping across a rainbow and singing “Joy to the World.” I enjoyed SuperNova the most because of its unusual strawberry melon flavor, which gave it a nice fruity taste, almost girly-alcohol-drink-ish. It also tasted like a strawberry lemonade, which is weird since it doesn’t have any citrus flavor. Voltage’s raspberry-citrus flavor was good and I thought if Mountain Dew were to make another blue-colored Dew (Taco Bell exclusive Baja Blast was the first blue Dew), this flavor should be it. Finally, the wild berry flavor of Mountain Dew Revolution was decent, but personally wild berries aren’t my thing, because they’re too wild for me.

But my voice is just one and many of you probably disagree with me, so if you want to participate and get an unhealthy amount of high fructose corn syrup, try all three flavors, and vote at the Dewmocracy.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bottle – 290 calories, 0 grams of fat, 105 milligrams of sodium, 76 grams of carbs, 76 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 91 milligrams of caffeine, and 10 grams of Dewmocracy.)

Item: Mountain Dew Dewmocracy Flavors (SuperNova, Revolution, and Voltage)
Price: $1.25 each (20 ounces)
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 7 out of 10 (SuperNova)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Revolution)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Voltage)
Pros: SuperNova had a nice fruity flavor. Voltage flavor was good. 91 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine per bottle. Care Bears holding hands while skipping across a rainbow and singing “Joy to the World.” None of the flavors were repulsive. Democracy.
Cons: High fructose corn syrup. Wolf Blitzer’s beard. Having to drink three bottles of Mountain Dew for this review. Having to sign up to have the opportunity to vote for Dewmocracy.

REVIEW: Sierra Mist Undercover Orange

Marvo 16 Comments

Summer is a time for hot temperatures, trips to Disneyland, tight short shorts, armpit sweat stains, and of course, summer blockbuster movies, and just like you can expect Dane Cook to use the word “bro” in everything he will ever appear in, you can expect each summer blockbuster to have a product tie-in. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has the Snickers Adventure Bar, Iron Man has the AMP Energy Freeze Slurpee, the new Harold & Kumar movie has skull bongs, and Get Smart has the Sierra Mist Undercover Orange.

For those of you who did not watch Nick at Nite in the early 1990s and/or watch television in the 1960s because your parents were afraid of the radiation coming out of the “picture radio,” Get Smart was a James Bond parody that followed the adventures of Maxwell Smart, an agent of CONTROL, a secret U.S. government agency. His task was to thwart KAOS, an evil organization with the same penchant for the caps lock key as CONTROL.

The Sierra Mist Undercover Orange is a 7-Up/Sprite wannabe lemon-lime soda with a splash of mandarin orange flavor. If your inner botanist believes a mandarin orange is a tangerine, then it does have a mandarin orange flavor. Personally, my inner botanist has had its fair share of canned Asian mandarin oranges in heavy syrup over the years to raise my fruit intake, so I have a pretty good idea of what mandarin oranges taste like and I have to say that I don’t think a mandarin orange is a tangerine. Therefore, I believe this soda tastes more like a tangerine.

Either way, the orange flavor in this soda isn’t like Sunkist or any of the generic brand orange sodas out there. I kind of prefer the flavor of the Sierra Mist Undercover Orange because it tastes a little more natural than most orange sodas because it’s less sweet and more sour, thanks to the Sierra Mist lemon and lime flavor.

The Sierra Mist Undercover Orange isn’t bad for a carbonated citrus beverage and summer blockbuster tie-in. It’s a limited edition beverage so once it’s gone, it’s gone…unless it’s really popular, then it will come back in the future, most likely with another movie tie-in. For now, it makes a great soda to wash away the taste of the trailer for the movie >Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bottle – 240 calories, 0 grams of fat, 55 milligrams of sodium, 65 grams of carbohydrates, 65 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 0 grams of caffeine, and 0 grams of box office gold.)

Item: Sierra Mist Undercover Orange
Price: $1.25 (20 ounces)
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: It’s clear. Tastes like a tangerine (according to my inner botanist). Low sodium. Has a more natural taste than most orange sodas. Iron Man. Nick at Nite.
Cons: No fucking caffeine. High fructose corn syrup. A lot of sugar per bottle. Armpit sweat stains. Spelling the word “night” as “nite.” The despair you’ll feel after watching the trailer for Beverly Hills Chihuahua.